***
After finishing his psychiatry appointment, Yoon Kihyun recalled the disease names added to his body.
Depression and anxiety disorder. It wasn’t surprising as it didn’t deviate much from the expected range. It was just bothersome that the medicine he had to take had increased.
Even that was something he could endure if it meant he didn’t have to suffer from the fluctuating emotional ups and downs.
The nurse said it would be a lot at first, including the initial consultation, examination fees, and medicine costs, so he was inwardly nervous, but the amount wasn’t as big as he thought.
Compared to a disease that required tens of millions of won in medicine costs every month, it inevitably seemed relatively cute.
No matter how he thought about it, it was a dog-shit disease in many ways.
‘Should I protest in front of the Ministry of Health and Welfare and ask them to apply health insurance? Though I’ll probably die faster than insurance gets applied…’
The test results he heard at the university hospital he arrived at while having such frivolous thoughts weren’t as bad as expected. Since he’d simulated even the worst case in his head, it was rather anticlimactic.
When he mentioned that he’d started taking psychiatric medicine to treat depression and anxiety disorder, the doctor nodded and said he’d take note of it.
The next appointment was in three weeks. It was a cycle that was far if you considered it far, close if you considered it close.
Thinking about the amount disappearing from his bank account every time he came to the hospital, there were times he wished the next appointment day wouldn’t come. Though it was a simplistic, avoidance-heavy idea.
He was struggling to pay somehow to try to live, but looking at the receipts, he still found it absurd. Because it was a sum no different from telling people not to get treatment and go die.
‘But if it’s a disease that only develops in guides, shouldn’t the center handle it as an industrial accident?’
Even as such thoughts occurred, he soon gave up. As if it was easy to get industrial accident treatment at the center.
It was only applied to Espers who were seriously injured or died in the line of duty inside gates, and for guides, the recognition standards were so strict that he couldn’t even dare attempt it.
It was around the time he was about to catch a taxi back to the center with a bag full of medicine hanging from his wrist. Jung Sijun, standing out alone among the ordinary-sized people, caught his eye.
‘What’s that guy doing at the hospital at this hour?’
He thought he might have come to visit a sick acquaintance. Since it was obvious he’d greet him if spotted, he tried to slip away unnoticed, but Jung Sijun skillfully recognized him and walked over steadily.
“We almost missed each other.”
What did he mean by almost missing each other? Yoon Kihyun blinked and looked up at Jung Sijun.
“Team Leader Jung.”
“Yes.”
Jung Sijun stood tall as if he had business with him. It wasn’t the appearance of someone who had coincidentally run into an acquaintance at a hospital he’d visited with business.
“…What brings you here?”
He didn’t particularly want to ask, but his lips moved first. He was somewhat curious about why he was here at this hour.
“I came to pick you up.”
“Who?”
“Who else? Yoon Kihyun-ssi.”
“Me?”
Yoon Kihyun, who had been asking back as if talking to himself, blinked. Why would Jung Sijun come to pick him up at this very moment when he should clearly be at the center if there was nothing special?
Even tracing his memory, while he’d said he’d briefly go to the hospital for an examination, he had no memory of discussing anything related to a pickup.
“Team Leader Jung, me? Why?”
“Well, because Yoon Kihyun-ssi told me to?”
Jung Sijun also tilted his head, not hiding his puzzled expression. His confident attitude and bewildered expression looked like he’d really finished a conversation with Yoon Kihyun.
“I said that?”
“What, you don’t remember?”
Looking at his aggrieved attitude, it didn’t seem like a lie, but nothing came to mind. It might have been something said in passing, but there was no way he would have easily allowed Jung Sijun to come and go during clear work hours.
“Really, I did?”
Jung Sijun’s head, asking repeatedly, gradually lowered. The eyes of the beauty whose face was wrapped tightly in a muffler even indoors were still confused.
‘No. Putting aside when he slept after drinking last time, not remembering this is just…’
He came here with Yoon Kihyun’s permission. If not, how could he have known which hospital Yoon Kihyun received treatment at?
If he went through illegal routes, it wouldn’t be impossible, but he didn’t want to do that.
Jung Sijun wanted to continue getting along well with Yoon Kihyun. Though whether what he wanted to become with him was a sex partner or a lover was ambiguous.
But the Yoon Kihyun he encountered at the hospital was looking at him like someone who’d seen something they shouldn’t have. As if they’d never had such a conversation.
“I asked in passing so I don’t remember…”
Jung Sijun’s mind was confused as he looked down at Yoon Kihyun, who trailed off in an uncertain voice.
‘It doesn’t seem like he’s lying. He really doesn’t remember?’
He knew Yoon Kihyun’s health wasn’t very good. He knew he frequently got nosebleeds, his complexion was still pale, and he took medicine prescribed by the hospital after meals, but he didn’t know the exact disease name.
All Jung Sijun knew was that it wasn’t contagious, developed in guides, and was a disease requiring expensive treatment costs.
‘Come on, we’re not filming some drama. He just probably heard it in one ear and let it out the other so he doesn’t remember.’
Usually, Yoon Kihyun didn’t listen carefully to his words anyway. If there was a mistake, it was that he’d talked a lot of nonsense to try to get one more word out of Yoon Kihyun.
Lately, it bothered him that he was getting noticeably closer to Seo Igyeong, so after annoying him, he’d started almost ignoring his words.
No matter how he thought about it, this side was more realistic. Rather than something like sudden memory loss.
“When someone talks, at least pretend to remember. I’m a little hurt.”
Jung Sijun pursed his lips and looked at the wavering eyes of Yoon Kihyun looking up at him. It still seemed like he doubted the sincerity of his words.
‘This is really a bit unfair.’
Jung Sijun looked at Yoon Kihyun’s small head shaking up and down slowly. He didn’t want to get annoyed in a situation where he came to pick up a sick person.
He extended an invitation to get in his car and return to the center, repeatedly examining the person standing beside him.
Even though he was bundled up to prepare for the severe cold still raging, his small frame swayed precariously as if it would collapse with just a light touch.
‘Should I feed him more?’
The only thing he could do without gauging Yoon Kihyun’s reaction was adding more to the list of good restaurants near the center. Today too, his heart felt stuffy.
Yoon Kihyun, who obediently got in the car, suddenly spoke while looking out the window.
“Team Leader Jung.”
“Yes?”
“Don’t think it’s strange and just listen.”
“What is it?”
“…I think my memory is fluctuating a bit.”
He could barely finish his words. In fact, it was a bit miserable. Because he didn’t know a situation would come where he’d have to say such things with his own mouth.
But he couldn’t just brush it off as if nothing was wrong.
Once or twice would be one thing. Going back, there was the incident where Hyun Juho got grabbed by the collar, the night spent with Jung Sijun, and most recently, probably the conversation about Jung Sijun coming to meet him at the hospital.
He couldn’t remember things that were important if considered important, trivial if considered trivial. Enough to feel the seriousness himself.
“Like forgetfulness?”
“If it was just forgetting, I don’t know… but I don’t remember anything at all. Today too, you said you’d come pick me up. I don’t remember having that conversation at all.”
Jung Sijun was silent for a moment. It was more serious than he thought. He’d just thought he’d let his words pass, but there might be a problem with his memory.
‘No. Really?’
He knew he occasionally had nosebleeds and suffered from headaches, but it was shocking that there might be something wrong with his memory.
Not that the memory was hazy, but that there was no memory at all…
‘Is he really okay?’
Even for Jung Sijun, who was reckless enough to push for a personal guide from someone who was sick, it felt serious.
“Is it because of that disease? The one where just the medicine costs several tens of millions?”
“…I don’t know.”
He couldn’t give a definite answer to anything.
It was certain there were gaps in his memory, but how would he know why he couldn’t remember? He wasn’t even a doctor.
“I’m telling you because I think Team Leader Jung should know. We might almost miss each other like today…”
“…”
“I’ll take notes as much as possible too, and I’ll ask at my next checkup. So don’t worry too much.”
Yoon Kihyun presented the best solution he could do now. He just had to take lots of notes and look at them often to fill any possible gaps in his memory.
Jung Sijun, who had been staring silently at Yoon Kihyun sitting in the passenger seat with a pale face, asked.
“What kind of disease is it to be like this? Are you sure you’re in a condition to do guiding?”
