Until now, Jung Sijun hadn’t particularly wondered about Yoon Kihyun’s illness name. It was solely because he needed his guiding.
Even when he’d heard that he was sick with an illness requiring expensive medication, rather than worrying about Yoon Kihyun’s health, he’d first thought about using that as an opportunity to keep him by his side.
However, now that his heart had become concerned about Yoon Kihyun, it was different. He wanted to know at least the name of what illness was making him suffer.
At Jung Sijun’s question, Yoon Kihyun recalled the illness name.
Other Restrictive Awakened Body Disorder. Would it be okay to tell Jung Sijun about that illness with a 5-year survival rate of less than 20%?
‘What if he doesn’t want to entrust guiding to someone who doesn’t know when they’ll die?’
He’d somehow hidden the illness name, but if problems arose with his memory and he started hurting here and there, it would become harder to hide.
“The guiding is fine. There haven’t been any problems with my guiding so far. Team Leader Jung knows that best…”
He pretended to be calm, but his voice trembled miserably. It was a situation where a way to live had barely opened up and he’d barely taken his first step. But he didn’t want to give Jung Sijun any room that could become grounds for contract termination.
“…”
“…”
Jung Sijun looked at Yoon Kihyun’s pale profile for a moment, then nodded. His complexion was too pale to keep pressing him.
“Okay. I understand what you mean, Yoon Kihyun-ssi, so please consult with a doctor. The memory… that thing, I’ll pay attention to it too.”
It was fortunate he didn’t press further. It would have been difficult if he’d kept asking about the illness name.
“…Thank you.”
“What thanks? I feel like I’m going crazy feeling sorry for demanding guiding from someone who’s sick right now.”
“No. I was happy you agreed to match my salary.”
If the conversation went on longer, it seemed like it would become shabby. Yoon Kihyun pressed his lips tightly shut and swallowed the words that had risen to the tip of his throat.
Thank you for helping me… Why had he tried to say such words? It made receiving a salary as compensation for guiding feel like receiving charity.
‘This is all just because of depression.’
Yoon Kihyun turned his head while suppressing the sharp feelings jutting out.
***
On his days off, Jung Sijun generally didn’t stick to home. He tended to wander around shopping or be at the hospital where his mother was admitted.
In the hospital room where visiting hours fluctuated due to her health going up and down, there were several family members gathered after a long time.
“My puppy came.”
The woman, who had lost even more weight since he last saw her, smiled brightly and welcomed her youngest son. It was one of the few times the person who looked like a withered tree while fighting illness smiled.
“Mom, how’s your body?”
“Seeing my youngest’s face, it doesn’t hurt at all.”
The woman with gentle and elegant speech patted the cheek of her son who sat beside the bed and curled up his body. Though his build had grown bear-like, his behavior still hadn’t changed much from childhood—the youngest who wouldn’t hurt even if put in her eyes.
“Your lying skills keep improving, Ms. Kang.”
Jung Sijun pouted his lips. With far more exaggerated behavior than what he usually showed Yoon Kihyun, there was quite intentional calculation involved.
Because he knew that the only joy in his mother’s long battle with illness was none other than her youngest’s childish aegyo.
Separate from the family loving the youngest incomparably, it was also one of the reasons they could hardly correct him even when he acted unreasonably. The fact that they’d been a gangster family for generations and were quite twisted from other people’s standards also played a part.
“Jun, you didn’t quit the Center in a fit of anger, did you?”
“Of course not. I even conquered perfectly this morning. Ms. Kang’s youngest is an S-rank esper, so even though he’s super busy, he made time to come. Your son’s love is this big, but only Mom doesn’t appreciate it.”
“Haha. When did our youngest grow up so much?”
Every time the small hand with nothing but bones brushed his cheek, Jung Sijun realized his mother didn’t have much time left. Though they’d been pouring money to prolong her life for several years, the treatment progress couldn’t be seen as very hopeful.
“Our Team Leader Jung.”
“Yes, Ms. Kang.”
“Because you’re young, there will surely be people who look down on you. But if you do well, those words will go back in, so don’t worry too much. Mom worries because our son’s heart is secretly weak.”
Though it was affectionate advice, Jung Sijun had already repeated this conversation for a long time. At the last visit too, and the visit before that, his mother always brought up these words. It meant her memory wasn’t intact.
But it was still okay. At least she wasn’t to the point of not recognizing who she herself was or who was keeping watch beside her.
“Of course. Mom’s son isn’t someone who gets intimidated anywhere. I’m doing the best at the Center too. Whose son am I?”
Jung Sijun casually repeated the resolution he’d told her countless times as if it were the first. And when these words ended, the woman who became smaller each time he saw her would smile radiantly.
“My son.”
Just like right now.
“By the way, what about Siho and Sitaek?”
His mother, who had been kind and loving to everyone, also carefully checked on the well-being of her other two sons. Jung Sijun answered while recalling the current status of the two blood relatives with whom relations had become distant.
“Siho hyung is on a business trip so he can’t come, and Sitaek hyung is on his way now.”
“Did Siho go far on his business trip?”
“It was probably Canada.”
“I see. By the way, where did your father go to buy drinks?”
His mother brushed her hair back and glanced toward the hospital room door. He’d heard she’d fallen for his father at first sight.
Despite the family elders’ dissuasion, she said she couldn’t help but give her heart to a man who was clumsy and awkward only with her. Sijun’s father was also extremely devoted to his wife.
“Should I call him?”
“He’ll come soon. Let me look at our son’s face in detail.”
“Here.”
Jung Sijun obediently placed his face on his mother’s hand so she could examine it comfortably. She’d probably forget by the time the next visit was possible, but for her enjoyment, he could offer his face countless times.
“I don’t know who you take after, but you’re so handsome. Don’t you have anyone you’re dating?”
“No. I’m busy with work, what dating?”
“Then don’t you even have someone you like?”
Though it was a conversation that repeated every time, this time Jung Sijun hesitated. Someone he liked. The face that came to mind first at his mother’s question suddenly stirred through his head.
“…No. No such person.”
“This boy, to Mom’s eyes it seems like there is?”
Though she was losing her memory, her perceptiveness hadn’t disappeared. Jung Sijun’s mother pinpointed her youngest son’s subtle hesitation.
“No. Really not.”
“Really not? It’s not that you want to believe that?”
“I said no.”
“If our youngest says so, then it must be so.”
His mother’s face still had a bit of playfulness on it. Though she was over sixty, she still had girlish aspects.
“Still, if you have someone you like, treat them well. Like your father does to Mom.”
“Like he’d give up his liver and gallbladder?”
“What a way to talk. I’m saying to love, respect, and cherish them with your whole heart.”
“Okay. Love, respect.”
“And cherish.”
“Yes, and cherish.”
Jung Sijun, who had been parroting his mother’s words, scratched his cheek. When the mother-son conversation reached a lull, Jung Sijun’s father returned to the hospital room holding takeout cups.
“Honey, I’m back. The plum smoothie was sold out at the nearby cafe, so I’m a bit late.”
“I won’t be able to drink more than a few sips anyway, so why did you go so far?”
“You said you wanted to drink it.”
“Really can’t stop you.”
Though she said that, seeing the beverage cup in her father’s hand, his mother seemed very pleased. From the moment she discovered her spouse’s face, her mother’s cheeks had been flushed.
Now it was time for the couple to share their feelings. The conversation between father and mother would also repeat continuously like the one she’d had with Jung Sijun. The mother asking about the children’s well-being and current status, and the father delivering different updates each time.
“I’ll go out and see if hyung is coming.”
Making the same excuse as always, Jung Sijun stood up first. Nodding at the words to come back soon, as he walked through the hospital corridor, he ran into his hyung.
He was dressed like a crazy bastard wearing a vest, jacket, and coat on top, as if he’d come straight from work.
Wearing something like that in weather perfect for freezing to death. He couldn’t understand why he lived like that when he hadn’t even awakened as an esper.
“How’s Mother?”
Getting to the point before greetings was a bad habit he’d learned entirely from Jung Sitaek. He’d had more exchanges with the second son Jung Sitaek than with the eldest Jung Siho, who had a large age gap.
“Well… she’s the same. She’s talking with Father.”
“She wanted the plum smoothie again?”
“That’s right. Father was late because he was crying, but he made excuses about it being sold out again.”
“The excuse is stale.”
Jung Sitaek chuckled quietly while pointing out Father’s shabby excuse. Though he was laughing, he must not be okay inside either. Even though relations between the brothers had become distant, their feelings toward their mother were still similarly aligned.
“Are you going?”
“I have to. The visiting hours are almost over anyway.”
“Come to family gatherings more often, you bastard. Father’s lonely.”
“I’m busy killing monsters, so I don’t have much time.”
Making an excuse that was half true, Jung Sijun left the hospital without looking back. Being in the hospital made his chest feel stuffy.
There was no improvement in his mother’s health. The doctor’s words to prepare his heart had already been going on for two years.
As he started the car, Jung Sijun thought of Yoon Kihyun the entire way home.
Because that was the reason he’d hesitated for the first time at his mother’s question asking if he had someone he liked at every visit.
