The real problem was that thing I still couldn’t get used to.
Today too, looking at the large bed, I almost let out a sigh without realizing it. Standing in front of it, I hesitated, reluctant to climb up.
“I’ll be right out after washing up.”
The voice saying that was no different from usual. Instead of answering that I understood, I nodded as if nothing was wrong, but even I could tell how stiff my expression was.
Why, why am I so nervous?
It wasn’t even my first time here, but every time I entered this room, I became restless like someone facing a major event. Until now, I’d been the type to calmly handle whatever happened, but it seemed I’d overestimated myself. Even taking a deep breath didn’t calm me down at all.
I wanted to escape from this place with any excuse. I tried thinking of ways to avoid going to bed right away—I’d already showered as soon as we arrived, changed clothes, and after that watched all the movies I wanted to see, so all that was left was alcohol.
Should I suggest having a drink when he comes out?
But that didn’t seem like a good idea either. If I got drunk, something even more unexpected might happen.
A week ago, after the long-awaited first kiss, I was sick for several more days. I’d been properly punished for stubbornly insisting I was fine and going out.
‘At least I’m glad I didn’t pass it on to you.’
‘I feel a bit wronged though.’
‘Why?’
‘If I’d known it would be like this, I would’ve done more.’
Kang Sehyun, who complained about feeling wronged, couldn’t hold back and kissed me a few more times until my cold completely healed, but he didn’t sleep with me. It seemed like he noticed I was uncomfortable and was being considerate.
And three days ago, I lay down on this bed I’m looking at now with Kang Sehyun. It was the second time. At least the first time, I woke up in the middle of sleeping and realized the situation had changed, but the second time, I lay down together from the very beginning, so I stayed awake with my eyes open for hours.
Dating Kang Sehyun was gradually becoming more familiar. The affection when we’re lovers, the possessiveness toward each other, and even physical contact including kisses. But if there was still one thing I couldn’t get used to at all, it was this moment.
Lying in one bed with Kang Sehyun, sharing the same blanket and sleeping.
Others might think, what’s the big deal about a back hug when we’ve already kissed, but people who haven’t experienced it don’t know. The hot breath tickling the nape of your neck or the sound of a heartbeat against your back feels far more subtle than when kissing. That’s why the level of tension was different between a kiss you could push away anytime and an embrace on the bed where your entire body was held tightly.
“Haah…”
I’m seriously going crazy.
First, I grabbed the edge of the blanket and hesitantly climbed onto the bed. Then I slipped under the soft covers.
I should just fall asleep first.
It was the conclusion I reached after long deliberation, but there was no way it would go as planned. I’d worked several days in a row and pushed myself the hardest today, Saturday, so I should be sleepy, but frustratingly, only at times like this was my mind excessively clear.
It wasn’t that I was simply afraid of touching Kang Sehyun. Of course it was good that my heart fluttered at the smallest touch and I felt tremendous stability in his affectionate embrace. Naturally, kissing was the same.
That’s probably why it felt even harder to handle. Getting closer and closer, touching more and more—afraid I might like Kang Sehyun even more than I do now.
Had I been blankly listening to the sound of water from the bathroom for about ten minutes? At some point, the sound suddenly stopped.
Click.
As the door opened, hazy steam scattered in the air. And the form that appeared was all skin.
The solid arm muscles following his broad shoulders were fully exposed. Water droplets that ran down his neck to his chest stopped on his well-defined abs. Surprisingly, below that, he only had a single towel wrapped around him.
Kang Sehyun, this bastard.
The words “Are you doing this on purpose?” rose to the tip of my tongue. There’s no way he didn’t know I was conscious of it. It was definitely 100% intentional.
I turned sharply toward the wall and just pretended not to see.
“Get up, I know you’re not sleeping.”
At the half-threatening words, I lifted my upper body. Kang Sehyun was staring straight at me.
“…What exactly are you aiming for?”
He wasn’t the type to strip his upper body in front of others just because he’d washed up. When he came to my house, when he was at his own house—he’d never once done that until now, so there must have been a reason for acting like this.
“You. I’m trying so hard to get you to look, but if your reaction is like this, it’s hurtful.”
There’s a limit to absurd things, but once he crossed that limit, words wouldn’t come out.
It’s not like I liked him because he was a man from the start, so what was he trying to accomplish by suddenly showing off his naked body? What was most absurd was that he had no intention of hiding this fact.
“If you’re done showing off your good body, go put on some clothes.”
“You already saw everything? You can look more.”
Kang Sehyun laughed playfully. Seeing that face, I ended up laughing too. He’s always mature, but at times like this, he’s just like a child.
The reason I found it even more absurd was because this wasn’t the first time I’d seen Kang Sehyun’s naked body.
Kang Sehyun, who loved water enough to work at a yacht club for fun, went swimming at the lake every year when the weather started getting warm. In the summer, we often went together with the hyungs to a quiet, fairly distant private property he rented, so I’d seen Kang Sehyun’s naked body enough to be sick of it.
So for him to say such things now as if it were the first time was too shameless.
Kang Sehyun entered the dressing room and came out wearing a t-shirt and training pants. Then he immediately climbed onto the bed and came close to my side.
“It’s this wide, do we really need to sleep stuck together?”
“Yeah. I need you when I sleep. So come here.”
Kang Sehyun, who said the embarrassing words as if it was nothing, extended his arm.
What, this time it’s the front?
Being held from behind was still awkward, but I couldn’t even imagine resting my head on Kang Sehyun’s chest as he lay flat and sleeping like that. When I firmly refused and turned my back, I heard a low laugh from behind.
“That’s too much. I thought even if you didn’t like my body, you at least liked my face.”
That’s exactly why I can’t.
Kang Sehyun, completely undamaged by my disregard, stubbornly pushed his arm in from behind today as well. At the same time, a warm hand grasped my waist.
Again. My heart started pounding again.
I was always the only one nervous, so Kang Sehyun would fall asleep quickly.
It’ll be the same today, I was complaining inwardly, but the steady breathing I expected to hear soon was unusually late today.
If he’s not sleeping yet, should I try talking to him?
As soon as I had that thought, soft lips landed on the nape of my neck.
“…!”
It wasn’t simply a brief kiss. I could hear the sticky sound of kissing right by my ear. And many times at that.
At the same time, the hand holding my waist suddenly slipped inside my t-shirt. The hand that smoothly swept down my lower abdomen gradually moved upward. The firm palm that lingered around my navel moved up to my chest without a moment’s hesitation. I got goosebumps at the unfamiliar feeling against my skin.
So surprised, I exhaled the breath I’d been holding for a moment. As my swollen chest heaved, the hand kneading here and there became more suggestive.
Ah… I’m going crazy.
I’d long given up pretending to be asleep, but I thought if I stayed still, he’d stop. But while the stimulation continued, I couldn’t pretend until the end not to feel the heat clearly felt behind my back.
I grabbed the hand moving as it pleased under the thin fabric. I intended to pull it out, but the large hand instead covered the back of my hand and intertwined our fingers. I tried to forcibly pull my hand out, but for some reason, it wouldn’t budge.
“Just… let me off.”
Pshh, I heard a laugh.
“I already let you off when you put on clothes earlier.”
Kang Sehyun spoke in a muffled pronunciation with his lips buried around my neck. Smack, smack, he kissed me regardless.
“…Consider it a favor and just this once.”
First, escaping this situation right now was priority. If it seemed like it would end with just touching, I’d try to endure a bit more, but Kang Sehyun didn’t seem like he would just stop like this. No matter how ignorant I was, even I knew what came next.
“What will you do for me if I listen? Alcohol won’t work anymore.”
“…I’ll think about that.”
Whether my answer didn’t please him much, after thinking for quite a long time, Kang Sehyun said “I’ll let you off until today” and released our intertwined fingers.
As soon as the persistently clinging hand fell away, I quickly pulled down my t-shirt that had rolled up halfway. My heart kept pounding, not knowing when the hand around my waist might dig into my clothes again.
I closed my eyes, trying hard to fall asleep. But I immediately snapped awake at the voice that followed.
“But next time, we’re doing it.”
I understood at once what he was saying.
“I won’t wait for you like last time, so know that.”
Last time—exactly when was he talking about? The heat I thought had disappeared returned. I knew what he would do, but I deliberately didn’t give any answer. Then Kang Sehyun bit my earlobe as if telling me not to pretend not to know.
“We’re doing it, sex.”
At the low voice touching my ear, I got goosebumps again.
