So it was her.
Her hair, which she always tied up in a single ponytail, was now well-styled and fell below her shoulders. Combined with heavy makeup and flashy clothes, she looked like a completely different person. The transformation was so remarkable that if the lighting had been just a bit darker, I wouldn’t have recognized her.
“You come to places like this too?”
“I’m here for work today.”
“I saw you from far away and thought I was seeing things at first. It’s even nicer to run into you here.”
As she came closer, the scent of perfume hit me even from a step away. She turned her gaze from me to glance at my side. It seemed like she wanted to ask who I came with but stopped herself.
“I’ll go inside first.”
There was nothing to talk about anyway, so what was there to say? Kwon Sungha went inside first. Watching his indifferent back as he gave us space, I wanted to grab him right then and there.
“Kwon Sungha… right?”
Before I could even think about what to say, I was flustered by the words that suddenly came out of her mouth. It was just another person saying his name, but could it feel this unpleasant? The most surprising thing was myself for feeling this way.
“An oppa I know said he’s close with him, so I’ve heard about him a few times. And he’s pretty famous anyway.”
I couldn’t manage my expression well.
“How is he famous?”
“Huh?”
“You said he’s famous. I’m curious what exactly people are saying.”
Even to my own ears, my tone was confrontational. A brief flash of confusion crossed her face, but fortunately, I got an answer to my question.
“It’s not bad rumors—it’s the complete opposite. It’s all good things, so don’t feel too bad about it.”
But I still felt bad about it. There was no way the rumors could be bad. I knew better than anyone that Kwon Sungha was a good person. But still, I wanted to be the only one who knew.
Unlike me, who never let photos be taken, Kwon Sungha agreed to every request whenever the hyungs wanted to take pictures. So every time we got together, photos were posted on the hyungs’ SNS. People who knew Kwon Sungha left enthusiastic comments on them, so it was inevitable that rumors would spread.
“Oh. And they said you two are close.”
How did she even know that? That comment improved my mood again. Hearing rumors spread in places I didn’t know about should have made me feel bad, but contradictory emotions arose.
“See you inside then.”
The conversation that had continued for a few more exchanges quickly ended, and she went inside right away. Quite a few tables were almost all filled. The interior was noisy with loud music and people’s chatter.
There was no need to look around—Kwon Sungha’s back was right in front of me. Even under the dim lighting, even mixed among many people, I found him first.
“You finished talking already?”
“There wasn’t much to talk about. Where’s Kihyun hyung?”
“Over there.”
In the direction Sungha pointed, Kihyun hyung was greeting someone. It had been a really long time since I’d seen him without his shabby hoodie. When you looked at him like this, he had a pretty decent face—it was a shame that his appearance could only shine at times like this.
And a little later, as soon as hyung returned to the table, our area became noisy.
“Yo, I heard you ran into someone you know! A girl!”
“Yeah.”
“Whoa… It was real. I can’t believe it. Kang Sehyun talking to a girl in a place like this… Tell us right now. Who is she, who? Who made you abandon our Sungha and cheat—”
“It’s not like that, so don’t overreact. I know people too.”
“Still, I’m curious. Who exactly is she? Where is she sitting?”
What was so amazing about greeting someone I knew in a place like this? Kihyun hyung and Gijae hyung took turns interrogating me.
“She’s someone from the same school. It’s not a big deal, so drop it.”
“Hey. Do you acknowledge everyone who goes to the same school? No, so that’s what makes it a big deal.”
I sighed.
“We just happened to work on an assignment together recently. It’s nothing.”
“Ah.”
Suddenly, I heard a voice right next to me.
“Was the person you met earlier the one you talked about back then?”
“Yeah.”
I just answered like that, but Kwon Sungha’s expression became strange. However, when I asked why, I only got the answer that it was nothing.
“We ordered one side dish earlier. You guys look at the menu and pick something too. Choose anything except rolled omelet.”
With an unsettled feeling, I tried to ask Sungha more, but I couldn’t continue the conversation because the hyungs kept making me talk. And a little later, the conversation between the four of us couldn’t continue anymore. It was because of an intruder who appeared whenever there was a chance.
“Huh? Kihyun, it’s been a while?”
“Ah, hyung! Hello.”
“Haven’t seen you in a while?”
“I was busy with graduation.”
“Oh, you graduated? Congratulations. Let’s have a drink. Stop by later.”
What I expected happened. It was something I considered so natural that I wasn’t very surprised. And not only Kihyun hyung but Gijae hyung also knew quite a few faces, and more than half of them were people related to his ex-girlfriend.
But while it made sense for the hyungs who had been in Chicago for a long time, why Kwon Sungha?
“Wow, who’s this?”
“Whoa. Sungha oppa. What brings you here? Who did you come with?”
The scene I least wanted to see kept unfolding before my eyes. Literally, both men and women came to talk to him, and surprisingly, some of them weren’t even from school. When I asked how that could happen, I got the answer “just through connections.”
The more people who knew Kwon Sungha, the more my insides boiled. I learned for the first time through Kwon Sungha that I had such emotions.
My long-term girlfriend used to always say to me:
‘Don’t you get jealous when I hang out with other guys?’
‘Is there even a reason why I should?’
‘Well, no, but… it’s weird.’
She said it was weird that I didn’t get jealous. But I, who was fine with my lover hanging out with other people of the opposite sex, was jealous just because strangers knew Kwon Sungha. I felt like I had been abnormal until I met Kwon Sungha and was only now becoming normal. That’s why I could more easily accept this unpleasant emotion that welled up.
“I guess we came for nothing after all.”
When the hyungs briefly stepped away and only the two of us were left, Sungha said. Whether it was because of his physical condition or not, he looked oddly unhappy. No matter how much he tried not to show it, I could tell.
“If you’re not feeling well, tell me. We can leave first. The hyungs will have fun without us anyway.”
“It’s not really that, but I’m not having much fun.”
“Should we go?”
“Let’s stay just a bit longer.”
Kwon Sungha picked up the cigarettes he hadn’t smoked all day because of his cold and stood up from his seat. I silently followed him.
When we smoked and returned to our seats, surprisingly, there was a familiar face standing in front of our table. There was no way she would have suddenly come when I wasn’t there, and looking closely, she was having an animated conversation with Kihyun hyung.
It was a common story. Someone I knew turned out to be someone known by someone I knew—something like that.
Of course. There was no way Kihyun hyung wouldn’t know someone I knew.
“What, Sehyun, the person you knew was Hyuna?”
I only knew her English name, so her Korean name Hyuna felt rather unfamiliar. I didn’t know, but apparently she knew quite a lot of people too, as not only Kihyun hyung and Gijae hyung but even Jungwoo hyung knew her well. She exchanged glances with passing people several times.
“Sehyun, didn’t you bring your car?”
After briefly chatting with the hyungs, she looked at the drink in my hand with surprised eyes.
“I did.”
“But can you drink?”
“I won’t drive when we leave.”
“Then want to have a drink? It’s not on me though. Still, I should at least have a drink together before I disappear.”
I didn’t particularly want to accept the drink, but at her words about leaving, I extended my hand without much thought. The hyungs, who had been staring as if watching something fascinating, opened their mouths as soon as she left.
“Wow. This is the first time I’ve seen Kang Sehyun answer everything so kindly.”
“And to someone he hasn’t known for that long. You don’t even do this much for people from school.”
It was true that I answered, but I couldn’t relate at all to the part about being kind. Honestly, I didn’t even remember the conversation I had with her. If it weren’t for Kwon Sungha’s words about not making enemies unnecessarily, I wouldn’t have engaged in conversation I found uninteresting.
“At this level, doesn’t that mean you liked her from the start?”
Not at all.
The answer to that was already determined.
“The only person like that is Sungha.”
***
Even drinking with the hyungs felt like something was lacking. It was truly torture that the person I wanted to clink glasses with was right next to me, but I couldn’t. Every time our eyes met in between, I wanted to escape from the noisy space quickly.
In the middle, the hyungs were the first to say they’d hang out with other friends nearby and go home on their own. As soon as I heard that, Sungha and I left the place with the excuse of being tired. Still, it took escaping two hours to get out.
The road to Kwon Sungha’s apartment was short. But the atmosphere in the car was too awkward, making that distance feel unusually long. Kwon Sungha, who had been strange since the bar, was unusually quiet today.
The car turned the corner and entered the apartment parking lot. As soon as we arrived at the familiar space, I asked.
“Why are you so quiet?”
After parking the car and finishing completely, Kwon Sungha took his hands off the wheel and turned his head toward me. He seemed to be thinking about something the whole way here, and still had a serious expression.
“I’m shocked.”
“…Suddenly?”
“Yeah. I suddenly realized how much of a fool I am.”
Because of what?
Before I could think about what answer to give, I heard the next words.
“I didn’t know.”
“Didn’t know what?”
“That person you mentioned. I didn’t even think for a second that it would be a girl…”
“Who are you talking about?”
“That Hyuna person from earlier.”
Without realizing it, “Ah, what?” slipped out as a mutter.
“That was it? Why? Whether it’s a girl or a guy, what does it matter? Don’t be serious about something like that.”
“…Are you stupid?”
Suddenly, the arrow flew at me out of nowhere. I tried to comfort him, but instead got called stupid, so I felt wronged.
“It matters, how could it not? We’re not just friends anymore. You told me to please be conscious of it, but now you’re saying it doesn’t matter.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about right now.”
“If I’d known she was a girl, I wouldn’t have told you to stay friends with her.”
“So that’s—”
“Why are you so clueless only at times like this?”
After sighing once, Kwon Sungha paused for a moment before speaking. It was a half-resigned tone.
“…It bothered me for no reason. I guess I do like you.”
He just said that without any other explanation, but then I finally understood the situation. After understanding what Kwon Sungha said, this time I was the one shocked.
“That’s what you meant?”
“Yeah.”
“…So you do that kind of thing too.”
I didn’t realize it even though I’d experienced it countless times in my previous relationship. Of all people, Kwon Sungha being jealous. I never imagined it because from the start, I was the one burning inside and acting impatient. When I said that thought never even crossed my mind, Kwon Sungha burst out laughing.
“Then remember it well from now on.”
For the first time, I made a good memory while drinking outside. And it was an important event I would never forget.
Kwon Sungha getting anxious because of me, burning inside, regretting—Kwon Sungha liking me.
I reached out and touched his jet-black hair. Then our eyes met.
There was no pretty night view with twinkling lights, no soft music, but I immediately knew.
‘When it’s that kind of atmosphere.’
Ah. It’s now.
Snap—I heard the sound of reason breaking.
