Normally, one would draw mom, dad, and oneself. But in Ji-yu’s drawing, Hae-won was naturally melted in. It was already stormy inside, and it felt like even a rough wind was joining in on top of that.
Not knowing how to react, when he just stood there watching, Hae-won, who glanced to check Seo-an’s complexion, hugged Ji-yu’s waist and crouched down with a plop to meet the child’s eye level.
“What is it, Kwon Ji-yu. Did you want to be family with samchon that badly?”
“It’s not that I want to.”
“Then?”
“We’re already family!”
The clear, ringing voice pierced his ears particularly vividly. Seo-an just blankly watched the two people matching eye levels and having a conversation.
“Really? Since when?”
“Yeah, since ye-ye-yesterday.”
“When is ye-ye-yesterday?”
“Ai, just like that.”
“Just like that? Samchon is just Ji-yu’s family? But little one, what’s this?”
Hae-won asked while pulling Ji-yu a bit more into his arms. What he pointed at was something unidentifiable drawn in red and black, and Ji-yu said it was meat and a stone tower. It seemed to be a drawing of the BBQ place. Seo-an still maintained his silence while staring intently at the child’s drawing.
“Kwon Ji-yu, if you liked samchon buying you meat, you should have said so earlier. Should I buy you some again?”
“Yeah.”
“When should we go? Should we go right now?”
His head was already complicated, so he was just trying to control Hae-won’s attitude for now, but seeing the two people looking comfortable as if they’d really met family made his head hurt more.
Seo-an shook his head saying no and picked up Ji-yu.
“Since we came home today, play with daddy at home, and let’s eat meat with samchon again next time.”
Saying so, he put strength in his eyes and looked at Hae-won. It meant to do it moderately and absolutely not to show any signs of what happened between them in front of the child. He’d grown old enough that he should know to handle it well, but he gave another warning because he couldn’t figure out what was going on inside.
Hae-won smiled brightly and shrugged his shoulders.
‘Hyung should do well too.’
At the words said with lip movements, Seo-an had to swallow a sigh inwardly. As he said, it seems like he just needs to do well himself…. The problem was that he had no confidence he could do well.
05.
“Ah, Yeon Hae-won….”
Seo-an quietly uttered Hae-won’s name from the morning while holding his throbbing head.
While he was controlling Hae-won to act inconspicuously like that, the one acting more conspicuously than anyone else was none other than himself, Kwon Seo-an.
It wasn’t like he didn’t know that fact. It’s just, the problem was having a fresh seizure every time he realized it.
“Ugh….”
Burying his head while silently screaming, Seo-an tried hard to push away the Hae-won he saw last night from his mind.
Since that night, Yeon Hae-won, as if not tired of it, continued to appear in his dreams kissing, touching his body, and rubbing his groin. He wasn’t an adolescent who had just awakened to sexuality, but every morning his member that raised its head sharply was more energetic than usual, which was disastrous.
Really, at this age, what kind of pathetic state is this?
It had already been several days of going to work feeling despair at his changed body condition every morning. Seo-an, who arrived at the company, was sighing while struggling with complicated thoughts in his head.
He was already aware that the fluttering of the butterfly imprinted on his chest would soon turn into a big gust of wind. Nevertheless, what made him feel self-reproach was because of his changed body even though he was no longer young.
It felt exactly like a desire he’d been longing for a long time was wriggling inside.
He was the one who said to take it slowly, but it seemed all the more so because his body getting heated and being anxious didn’t match his words. The emotions he tried to avoid began to spread their wings.
If I knew it would fluctuate this quickly, maybe I shouldn’t have said let’s take it slowly….
“Haah.”
It was when he let out another deep sigh. A colleague sitting next to him looked at Seo-an worriedly and asked.
“Seo-an-nim, are you sick somewhere? You’ve only been sighing since earlier. Is something wrong?”
“No…. Just, a bit… it’s because of personal matters. I’m sorry.”
“No, why sorry? What do you have to be sorry to me about?”
Han Song-i, the colleague sitting next to him, had a very good personality. Usually, most people in this field majored in it, so one would normally have seen them at school, but Han Song-i graduated from a university abroad. Perhaps because of that, she got along particularly well with her colleague Seo-an.
“But, Seo-an-nim. That niece of yours.”
Han Song-i asked quietly while carefully looking around.
Within the company, Han Song-i was the only person who knew Ji-yu was his niece. He hadn’t particularly intended to hide it from other people either. He just introduced Ji-yu as his ‘son,’ and there were just no other questions that followed. They seemed to conclude he was an unmarried father or divorced man, but that didn’t matter much.
Naturally, it was also okay for it to be revealed as his niece now, but Han Song-i always treated it carefully like that. Seo-an, who knew well that it was her meticulous nature, answered briefly with “yes” and looked at her.
“By any chance, how old is she? You said she was really young back then.”
“She’s four years old. She speaks a bit faster than her peers, but she says she hates studying.”
“Wow! She’s very clear-cut.”
“Yes. She’s cute.”
Clearly, just a moment ago his head was complicated and felt like it would burst at any moment, but talking about Ji-yu, his mind became clean as if washed. Seo-an quickly smiled and had a friendly conversation with Han Song-i.
“But why Ji-yu? Is there something new in our kids’ program?”
“Ah, it’s not anything major, but this.”
Han Song-i smiled as cheerfully as her name and handed over three small tickets.
“How about going with the baby? No, I bought a drink at a convenience store and they just stuck this kind of discount coupon in? I think you get a discount if you take this.”
“What is this?”
“It seems like a children’s musical….”
I don’t really know either.
Han Song-i added with a smile.
Seo-an looked at it with interest. It was a ticket with characters from an animation that Ji-yu had recently started to take an interest in drawn as big as a door. There was a phrase saying they would discount 3,000 won from the ticket price if you brought it and visited, and there was also a notice saying seats would be randomly assigned.
I wonder if she’ll like it.
“Thanks for thinking of me. I didn’t even know something like this existed.”
Seo-an left a brief thanks and checked the performance date first.
Saturday….
A bright smile bloomed on Seo-an’s lips as he confirmed his weekend schedule. There was no busy deadline or other schedule, so the timing was perfect.
The tickets are exactly three too. I could meet Yeon Hae-won and eat together, then come out after watching the musical side by side with the child and walk around the area appropriately.
…The moment he thought that.
Seo-an shut his mouth tight. He suddenly realized himself naturally thinking of the three of them. Seo-an’s expression gradually hardened.
The ‘slowly’ he had recited so much became meaningless. Even though he already knew him, even though he was complying one by one, the change he felt again was newly overwhelming.
***
“Hello, hello?”
At the large hand waving in front of his eyes, Seo-an made a dazed sound saying “uh.” Hae-won was sitting in front of him, and next to him was Ji-yu swallowing her saliva while looking at the sizzling meat.
Now, as if it were natural, the child who found and sat in the seat next to Hae-won was wearing a cute bib in the midst of it all. Unable to resist Ji-yu’s clamoring singing the BBQ, BBQ song, Hae-won called out Seo-an who was getting off work to a nearby meat restaurant.
“What’s wrong, did something happen?”
“…No.”
No, there is. There is.
It wasn’t even at a level where he could say there wasn’t anymore.
Seo-an gave his gaze to Ji-yu who was likewise looking at him with round eyes. That cute bib was probably something Hae-won carefully prepared, worried that her clothes might get ruined.
If I’m going to dwell on Yeon Hae-won in each and every thing like this, why did I make up my mind like that in the first place? He reached the point of resenting himself now. Seo-an swallowed a sigh inwardly and wiped Ji-yu’s mouth.
“Ji-yu-ya, do you like Hae-won samchon buying you pork belly?”
“Yeah, Ji-yu likes pork be-lly.”
The child waved her arms up and down holding a child’s spoon and fork in both hands. Hae-won cut the well-cooked meat into bite-sized pieces and placed them on the child’s plate.
“If it’s hard to stab with the fork, what do you do?”
“Scoop it with the spoon!”
“That’s right. Blow on it and eat.”
“Samchon blow too.”
“Hyung too, blow and eat.”
At Hae-won’s gesture pointing at the grill with his eyes saying it’s all cooked, Seo-an nodded his head lowly.
After using chopsticks like that a few times, catching what the child spilled, and taking care to feed her, the child made a fuss saying she wanted to go play in the play area inside the restaurant. Just sitting still made her antsy.
Seo-an, who swallowed a sigh inwardly, was about to reluctantly pick up the child and stand up.
“Hyung, I’ll take her in and come back. Hyung, keep eating. This, this is delicious.”
