Hae-won lifted Ji-yu up and firmly pressed the half-risen Seo-an back down to sit. With his eyes, he also pointed to the well-cooked meat. He didn’t know the cuts of meat well, but anyway, he said it was more expensive than pork belly. He recalled Hae-won saying this was only for hyung to eat, not to give Ji-yu even one bite, but then occasionally cutting some and putting it in Ji-yu’s bowl.
Then in the end, a smile bloomed on his lips.
I lost, I lost.
Seo-an waved a white flag inwardly. Hae-won already made him smile this much, so was there any reason to think deeper?
His mind became comfortable in an instant. Only then did he notice the meat that Hae-won had grilled deliciously and left. The beautifully grilled appearance clearly showed how carefully he had turned the meat.
Even that made him laugh.
Seo-an put the small piece of meat placed on Ji-yu’s plate into his mouth. The texture of the meat, which suited the expression ‘melts in your mouth,’ was fully worth its price.
Delicious.
Tender meat, appropriate cooking, a restaurant that wasn’t too noisy, and even a playground for children inside.
Belatedly, the various considerations Hae-won must have thought about when choosing the restaurant came into view. Seo-an quietly looked around inside the restaurant. How does his heart show even in a place like this…
After spending a few minutes giving meaning to each thing for no reason, Hae-won, who had become exhausted, returned to the table shortly after.
“Hyung, why does Ji-yu have such good stamina? She’s really completely different from you.”
“You should’ve just dropped her off and come back, did you play with her?”
Beads of sweat were forming on Hae-won’s smooth and pretty forehead. Probably that wasn’t from struggling to grill meat.
When he furrowed his brows slightly and handed him a napkin, Hae-won answered with a shameless smile.
“Ji-yu should like me a bit. I guess our tastes are similar?”
“Hey.”
Seo-an was greatly flustered and glared at him.
Then and now, if there was a problem with Hae-won, it was that he didn’t bat an eye.
“You know your reactions are good these days, right?”
“What am I reacting well to again?”
“At this rate, you’ll be caught soon. Ji-yu’s perceptiveness is no joke.”
Hae-won shook his head again.
Seo-an responded with a smile instead of an answer and affectionately poured a glass of alcohol for him. He wanted to clink glasses together if possible, but today he had to hold back.
He had to go to work tomorrow, and since they’d brought the child, if they both got drunk, that would be unmanageable, so he hoped at least Yeon Hae-won would drink.
“Isn’t watching Ji-yu hard?”
“No, she’s just so cute I could die. So Hyung should be careful, stop shooting me glances. Like I’m eating meat to hear nagging.”
“Geez… I’ll pay, so you eat.”
“I don’t want to, I’m going to pay.”
“Why…?”
“I’m looking for every opportunity to appeal to Hyung right now, but you always steal all the opportunities I create. You’re really a funny hyung.”
Hae-won seemed to feel a bit more wronged when he thought about it. He downed the alcohol in one gulp and frowned. That appearance seemed exactly like he was questioning ‘Why are you, as the hyung, taking your dongsaeng’s things?’
“Fine, you pay.”
In the end, Seo-an lost again.
He clearly lost, but a pleasant smile settled on his lips. Yeon Hae-won was drinking the alcohol, but he didn’t know why chuckles only burst from himself.
He just decided not to know everything. He’d drawn a line to be comfortable, and he’d closed his eyes and pretended, thinking that was better… but that wasn’t it.
Rather than being anxious about what might happen, rather than wracking his brain trying to calculate unpredictable things, wouldn’t it be better to empty his head and live according to instinct? Wouldn’t that be more comfortable?
It was all unknowable from the beginning anyway.
Many situations he was anxious about might not even happen. There was no need to calculate in advance the situation of being hurt by his words and the pain to be experienced in that situation.
Even if it did happen, would preparing in advance lessen that pain? No, that wasn’t it either.
Then wouldn’t it be much wiser to just face the situations as they come? At least it wouldn’t be cowardly.
Seo-an made various excuses for the scene where the heart he’d never been able to fold finally fluttered with a favorable wind.
Perhaps such a Seo-an was puzzling.
“Why are you being so docile? This makes me misunderstand.”
Hae-won asked playfully in a tone hiding anxiety. To that, Seo-an showed a clear gaze.
“It might not be a misunderstanding.”
“…Huh?”
“I said let’s take it slow.”
Seo-an smiled and looked at Hae-won.
Confusion seeped into the pretty face that seemed not just leisurely but always brazenly clever.
Someone said it. There’s no warrior who can overcome the wind rising from the heart. Seo-an decided to be helplessly swayed by it.
This feeling was already a determined answer from the time of his first kiss with Hae-won. It was only him who had tried his best to avoid him.
Besides… the kid says it’s good too.
Seo-an added another rationalization and lightened the weight on his heart.
***
“Is Ji-yu awake?”
“Yeah, morning Daddyyy.”
While lying on the bed, Ji-yu greeted Seo-an in the morning, hugging her beloved doll tightly with one hand and gently waving the other.
Usually, Ji-yu, who slept with Seo-an, never woke him up even if she woke up first. She would rustle around on the bed playing quietly by herself and sometimes fall back asleep, and it seemed today was like that too.
Seo-an pressed his lips firmly against Ji-yu’s cheek, which was nothing but adorable. The decision to just not know at all seemed to have accepted the conclusion from a few days ago as the answer, as the confusion that had been raging like a storm had calmed down at least a little.
“Ji-yu-ya, do you remember where we’re going with Dad today?”
As soon as he spoke, the child’s drowsy eyes opened wide. That was also when strength entered the body of the child who had been languidly wriggling.
“Musical!”
“That’s right, we decided to go see a musical.”
“Yeah! Vroom vroom!”
The child sat up in one breath. Seo-an, who held such a child’s forehead, concentrated on his palm to see if there was any fever.
Fortunately, the cold was recovering smoothly. He’d worried that after coming back from the sledding area, if she caught more cold wind and her fever rose higher, but the child was very healthy, taking after him.
Come to think of it, hyung was also quite healthy…
Seo-an smiled gently and stroked the child’s hair. He should contact Hae-won soon too.
Hae-won said he had another appointment from this morning. He also said he’d come straight to the theater in time for the musical, but still, just in case, he thought it would be good to contact him.
Seo-an playfully poked Ji-yu’s belly as she got up for a moment, flailed around, then flopped back down on the bed. When he put strength in his fingertips and kneaded her, the child made a hysterical laughing sound and twisted her body wildly.
“Ahhh! No, don’t!”
“Why is Ji-yu’s belly so cute? Hm? So cute.”
“Heek! Hehe, stoooop.”
“It’s because Dad finds our baby too cute. Ji-yu-ya, should Dad run you a bath before we go? Float some duckies?”
“Yeah. Daddy too, together.”
“Daddy too?”
He was just going to take a quick shower, but seeing the child’s hand tightly gripping his clothes, he couldn’t bring himself to refuse.
In the end, Seo-an nodded while revising his plan. When he told her to lie down for now and gently tapped her protruding frog belly without hurting her, the child giggled once more and twisted her body.
“So cute I could die.”
“Ahhh.”
The child was born with a lot of aegyo. Though she was still young, she had no wrinkles and was loved a lot everywhere. So it was natural that aegyo showed in her actions, but as a child who increasingly wanted to become a ‘hyung,’ she seemed to feel a disconnect with her own behavior.
Ji-yu twisted her body fully and made a lovely smile, then suddenly pulled down her t-shirt and shook her head.
“This is, not geu-neum.”
“Geu-neum?”
“Yeah, hyungs are geu-neum.”
…Could it be solemn? Or maybe robust…? Dignified…?
Anyway, Seo-an tried to think of requirements to become a ‘hyung,’ but the child’s words only fell into a labyrinth.
