Do you dislike it? He narrowed his eyes toward the man who asked so casually. A searching gaze followed. How many times had he repeated a situation like this? How familiar was this kind of situation that he requested sex as naturally as breathing? As if trying to gauge such things.
At the lengthening silence, Eunha raised his eyes with distaste. Dissatisfaction slowly welled up toward the man who didn’t readily give an answer with a lukewarm attitude. When was it that he asked to meet first, and now…… Unrefined resentment filled his mind in succession. The destination was set wrong, but there was no way he could recognize it.
Eunha, who had been swaying with his shoulder leaned against the hallway wall, couldn’t wait any longer before long and changed direction. Can’t be helped. He gave up easily and began fumbling at his waistband. As if searching for something in his pocket. Yeonjun frowned at the bridge of his nose, understanding what that action that seemed to have no regrets meant.
“What are you doing, hyung?”
“My phone……”
However, no matter how much he searched, the phone he’d left at home wouldn’t come to hand. The thought that nothing was working made him even more exasperated. As he blankly chewed on his irritation with his continuously churning insides, Yeonjun, who had been watching as if observing throughout, bluntly spat out words.
“Hyung.”
“Yeah……”
“You know this is too much, right?”
A light rebuke. Eunha looked up at Yeonjun and thought resentfully. Why. What. What did I do…… The one who’s too much isn’t me, it’s you. You called me. And then doing this…… Of course, it was a complaint not agreed upon with reason at all.
“What. What did I……”
“You’re not going to remember again anyway.”
“Does it matter?”
“……”
“So…… do you dislike it?”
The second time. At the repeated question, Yeonjun lowered his eyes long with an ambiguous expression. Well…… He bit down on his lower lip then released it and slightly pulled up the corners of his mouth.
“To be honest……”
“……”
“It’s not that I dislike it.”
If a sober Eunha had heard this, it would have been a part where he would have sharply raised his eyes in anger. That young thing being so brazen, blah blah blah…… He would have nagged like that and been horrified and tried to distance himself. As if it were some great taboo being violated…….
So laughter leaked out without realizing it. At the thought that this was probably the man’s usual appearance. That such a person put up a solid wall to him and acted sensibly.
Yeonjun continued lightly.
“I think I’d dislike it if hyung doesn’t remember.”
Like last time. While he added that and briefly recalled the past, Eunha showed an even more troublesome expression. He lightly clicked his tongue and staggered over flutteringly. If that was the problem, he didn’t care either way. Thinking unconsciously that it was okay even if he hated him.
He really didn’t care either way. Even if he hated him, even if he received hatred, it didn’t matter at all. Because it was all okay. Right now.
“I want to sleep with you.”
“……”
“Please.”
Please. Please…… I want to sleep with you. I said I want to sleep with you. So please. Eunha, dominated by primitive desire, muttered almost pleadingly. In his recklessly muttering voice, even a hint of sobbing was faintly permeated.
At that watery tone, Yeonjun finally showed a noticeable change. His eyes, which had hardened as if becoming serious to examine carefully, began to scrutinize Eunha in detail. As if grasping what lay behind the plea.
Receiving that observation, Eunha, who had been blinking slowly, took a step. He stretched out his arms toward the man before his eyes. Thinking with an even hotter head that after asking this much, it should be granted.
Soon their lips joined again. Fortunately, this time there was no pushing away. Yeonjun, who had been keeping their mouths attached long as if contemplating, finally opened a gap slightly and supported Eunha’s waist to hold him up. He couldn’t bear to push away the man who pressed his body close with moistened, wavering eyes.
* * *
Refreshing. It was the sentiment he had as soon as his consciousness dimly arose. It felt good, cozy and appropriately warm. At the tip of his nose lingered another person’s warm body scent. With consciousness not yet complete, Eunha thought familiarly. Who was it again…….
Then he burrowed deeper into the embrace he was buried in. Whoever it was, it didn’t particularly matter. Spending the morning together with someone—it wasn’t a frequent occurrence but it existed occasionally. Therefore, not a stir arose within. There was only the desire to sleep a bit more like this.
The next moment, though, he had to sink down as if he’d been doused with cold water.
“Hyung.”
“……”
“Are you awake?”
In an instant, sleep fled completely. Eunha, whose mind cleared in a flash, opened his eyes wide and stared vividly at the blocked front as if glaring. It was a position with an arm around his waist, legs intertwined with each other, and his face buried in a chest. In that state, without moving, he only rolled his eyes diligently. It took quite some time to digest who the owner of the voice was. Not because he didn’t know whose it was. It was the opposite. Because he recognized it as soon as he heard it.
“……”
What kind of situation was this exactly? Even Eunha, who had just woken up and was disheveled, became steadily haggard and held his breath in bewilderment. As soon as the situation was roughly grasped, curses surged up first. In a short time, he desperately dug through his memories, but there was no way anything would come to mind.
Is this a dream?
It must be a dream. Right. This kind of thing can’t be reality…….
It was when he was quietly holding his breath, unable to face reality. Perhaps becoming puzzled at his lack of response, the other person widened the distance first. He pulled back his body slightly and looked into his face as if checking. Eunha, who had been defenseless and inadvertently made eye contact, had to stiffen rigidly. Not knowing what to do, he made eye contact then squeezed them shut.
After enduring like that for a few seconds, Eunha, who finally let out a sigh as if in desperation, opened his eyes again. His expression naturally contorted at the eyes looking at him clearly as always while he was in mortal difficulty. It was when he barely turned his gaze away and tried to sit up. As he let out a sigh in complexity, from behind came this:
“I’m sorry. I didn’t plan to stay like this until morning……”
The sentence that dragged on and crumbled at the end didn’t continue further. Eunha could read the cut-off latter part without difficulty. Didn’t it mean he couldn’t do so due to external factors? So probably, because of him. Because he was hugging tightly so he couldn’t escape…….
From what he’d grasped while spending time together, Yeonjun had one habit. The habit of sparing words first when he had to blame others.
Suddenly the corners of his mouth crumbled. Eunha, who let out a bitter laugh, retorted as if self-deprecating.
“What do you have to be sorry for?”
He managed to apologize in this situation. Feeling a sense of dismay settling thickly in his chest, he turned his gaze outside the window. An excessively blue sky hung there like a picture. The splendid and sunny scenery presented a certain impulse.
Should I jump out…….
It seemed like a pretty good method. It was a situation where self-loathing poured down that much. Eunha, whose self-tormenting heart had reached its limit, roughly chewed the flesh inside his mouth. Could a person be this terrible? Could he be this fucking bastard-like…… The biggest problem was that he didn’t remember anything. Because his head was completely empty, words didn’t come out rashly.
Because he didn’t know what he’d done yesterday. Because he couldn’t gauge how far he’d gone. After hesitating for a long time, he barely pulled up his voice.
“I’m sorry, really.”
“……”
“So, this is……”
His airway kept getting blocked. How should he make excuses? Why did he do that? Why did I? Even knowing it was useless, he kept regretting it.
Fortunately or not, what was eventually heard was a refreshing voice.
“I know. Drunken whining.”
“……Right.”
“And you don’t remember anything.”
The plain tone poked at his conscience sharply. Eunha opened his lips then pressed them shut. He brushed back his bangs fussily.
“……What happened yesterday?”
