***
My body had been strange for the past few days. The heat-like fever subsided as soon as Kwon Yujin left, but my pheromones were completely uncontrolled.
It was different from flowing out from excitement. Without any sign, it would suddenly spread widely and then calm down, repeating this several times a day. Like a broken faucet, it would leak out arbitrarily and then stay calm for a while, but just when I thought it would be okay now, it would become abnormally thick again.
Because of this problem, I almost got caught being an omega while working.
Not only that, but I kept feeling nauseous or dizzy, so I had to run to the bathroom several times during work. Even when I took adequate rest, I couldn’t control my pheromones as I wished.
Among the workers doing site work, the alpha ratio was quite high, so if I got caught being an omega, it would obviously become troublesome. So I had no choice but to take pheromone suppressants.
But even after taking the medicine and working, it was difficult to prevent the headaches or the unpleasant chills felt throughout my body. I thought it would be okay after a few days, but even after four days passed, it was the same. Rather, it seemed to be getting gradually worse.
In the end, after barely finishing only the Sokcho work and returning to Seoul, I decided to completely rest from work for a few days. Just opening my eyes in the morning was an ordeal, so there was no other way.
The first day of starting rest. I, who always opened my eyes early at dawn, woke up past 9 AM. That’s a good three hours more sleep than usual. Nevertheless, I didn’t feel refreshed at all.
My pheromones were still irregular. It was an unfamiliar and unpleasant sensation for me, who had always lived like a beta.
‘Hey, Hyun Taeyoung. You shouldn’t take that lightly—go to the hospital and at least get an IV. You’ll get seriously sick like that.’
The foreman, who saw me struggling in the middle of work, said I seemed to have flu symptoms and told me to go to the hospital. Even so, I’d never thought about getting a medical examination. It wasn’t a simple symptom like a cold in the first place.
Then suddenly I recalled the fact that Kwon Yujin had left for Berlin a few days ago to participate in the competition. Soon after, an ominous thought came to me that if my physical condition continued to be this bad, I would become useless to Kwon Yujin.
I, who had left an indelible stain on his life, didn’t want to be unable to even do the only thing I could currently do to help Kwon Yujin.
The decision to go to the hospital was only for that reason.
“You took pheromone inducers twice within a month?”
When I explained my symptoms along with recent events at the hospital, the doctor asked back in surprise.
“Yes.”
“Why? Was there a special reason?”
“I needed a heat period, but since I’m recessive, I rarely go into heat, so I took them.”
At my words, the doctor, who had been slowly reading the chart, suddenly started typing something quickly on the computer.
“Was it your partner’s request?”
“Yes.”
This time, even his expression crumpled. The typing speed became even faster. Unlike when entering the examination room, the doctor’s expression was gradually getting worse with each answer I gave.
I slowly looked around the examination room while he was typing. From the atmosphere, it didn’t seem like anything good would be said.
“Is your partner by any chance dominant?”
“Yes.”
The doctor sighed as if he’d expected that. Following that, he asked if I remembered exactly what ingredients were in the inducer I took. I shook my head.
“Most pheromone inducers distributed on the market are drugs designed based on dominant or general trait individuals. When the user is a recessive omega, especially if the heat cycle frequency is low and pheromone manifestation is weak, the drug reaction can be excessive or unpredictable.”
“……”
“If you already have a history of taking it twice within a month, we can’t rule out the possibility of endocrine system overload, receptor desensitization, or hormonal imbalance. Depending on the case, it could affect the heat cycle function itself afterward.”
I couldn’t understand all of the doctor’s explanation, but anyway, I understood it to mean that the inducer I took before wasn’t right for me. Hearing it, I thought that could be the case.
I nodded my head.
“I see. Then I’d like you to prescribe medicine that’s suitable for a recessive omega like me.”
“Are you talking about an inducer?”
The doctor, who was typing again, hesitated. Then he pushed up his glasses and stared at me directly.
“Yes. I need an inducer that I can take continuously.”
“That’s impossible.”
It was a firm voice.
“In your current condition, additional inducer administration is close to being medically contraindicated. First, hormone tests, cycle evaluation, and a basic treatment approach are the right prescription.”
“I’m fine, so please prescribe it.”
“This isn’t a matter to be decided by your subjective judgment.”
Silence flowed in the examination room for a moment.
“As a doctor, I’m giving you the opinion that this drug cannot be prescribed. If necessary, I recommend transferring to a secondary medical institution or proceeding with additional tests.”
At the stubborn refusal, I somehow felt suffocated.
Prescribing an inducer suitable for me is impossible? Then I’ll become useless to Kwon Yujin.
Is there no other way? Or what about just continuing to take the medicine Kwon Yujin gave me?
While I was lost in thought, the doctor cleared his throat and opened his mouth again.
“Patient. Are you by any chance being continuously coerced or threatened?”
“No.”
“The purpose of use you mentioned itself is non-medical and is judged to be at a level that could harm the patient’s safety. If your partner is continuously making abnormal demands….”
“If you can’t prescribe the medicine, I’ll leave.”
It didn’t seem like he’d give me a suitable stimulant even if we talked more, and unnecessary talk seemed like it would drag on, so I cut off the conversation first from my side.
“Patient. Just a moment.”
When I tried to leave the examination room, the doctor stopped me. I, who had been holding the doorknob, looked back at the urgent call.
In the end, after the doctor’s persistent persuasion, I was prescribed muscle relaxants, suppressants, and medicine to aid recovery. He said they’re necessary to stabilize the pheromones that are dripping out like now.
After arriving home, I stared down at the medicine I received from the pharmacy for a while.
‘You absolutely must not use inducers together while taking pheromone stabilizers. Because the mechanisms of action are opposite to each other, bodily reactions could become even more unstable.’
The doctor’s argument was clear. From now on, I can’t induce pheromones with drugs.
In the end, I need to take the stabilizer the doctor prescribed to be able to go to work, but I won’t be able to help Kwon Yujin.
The time it takes to remove imprinting is at least half a year. Since Kwon Yujin was a national representative, he needed intense training every day, and maintaining consistent condition was that important.
Unfortunately, Kwon Yujin was imprinted on me. Due to that, his condition was directly affected by my pheromone exposure amount. However, I was congenitally low in pheromone secretion and couldn’t reach a significant level without inducers.
For the next six months. Even if I work a bit less, wouldn’t it be better to continue taking inducers?
“Haah.”
My head throbbed after worrying for a long time about a problem with no answer.
Without properly reaching a conclusion, I just shoved aside the stabilizer I’d been prescribed.
I wonder if Kwon Yujin arrived safely in Berlin. The competition was really right around the corner now, and I was curious whether there were any problems with training. It’s regrettable that he never gives me a proper answer when I ask.
More than headache-inducing things like medicine or test values, I wanted to know such trivial things.
***
The next day. In the end, I told the foreman that I thought I’d need to rest from work for the time being. After that, when I tried to eat, I was out of eggs.
Since pheromone control was difficult for now, I bundled up in as many clothes as possible and headed to the mart. While putting necessary ingredients in the shopping basket, mangoes caught my eye. As soon as I saw them, I picked one up without realizing it.
I ended up not giving Kwon Yujin the mango I bought in Sokcho. Because the child who had been confined in childhood happened to overlap then, I was only desperate to send Kwon Yujin out of the lodging.
Letting Kwon Yujin into my space was a more unpleasant thing than I thought. I didn’t want to experience that kind of feeling again.
I fiddled with the mango and then put it back in its place.
After finishing grocery shopping like that and on my way back home, I felt a vibration in my pocket.
Could it be contact from Kwon Yujin? Although I knew he’d be in the midst of competition preparations in Berlin by now, I ended up having such expectations without realizing it.
