I got up weakly, pressing my throbbing temples. Positive thoughts. Let’s think positive thoughts.
‘Lee Hyeonseok is good at it. The pleasure was so excessive it was painful, but anyway, we already did it a ton. I couldn’t move for several days straight afterward, but anyway, he is good at it.’
Right, last time it felt like doing it with a beast that had lost its reason, but now he’s human. He shows consideration during sex, so it’ll be okay.
When I entered the room with sluggish steps, Lee Hyeonseok was already sitting on the bed waiting for me, having finished preparing. Still, since we’d already done it a ton, I was just embarrassed but not disgusted or anything. As expected, the first time is always the hardest with anything.
“Look at that expression.”
“……”
“Why. Do you hate it that much?”
Still, my true feelings were that I’d rather not do it if possible, so even though I tried to hide it, it must have shown because Lee Hyeonseok reacted. He asked even though he knew.
“What are you doing?”
“I just remembered something.”
“What.”
Seeing that made me even less willing to do it, so I avoided Lee Hyeonseok’s hand approaching my upper body. Whether he was some kind of beast bastard or what, just because I avoided that touch, his expression turned murderous. Still, I didn’t approach him. Stupidly, I just now remembered the most important thing.
“When we made our contract, didn’t we agree not to do it if I don’t want to?”
“Ah…. Right, yeah. We did.”
I didn’t think Lee Hyeonseok would properly keep it, but thinking nothing ventured nothing gained, I spoke fairly firmly, and he also acknowledged it as if just remembering, running his hand through his hair. In that moment, I quietly buried in my heart the hope I hadn’t even had in the first place.
Because Lee Hyeonseok was smiling in a very, fucking despicable way, just like that day when he knew I couldn’t take the college entrance exam but didn’t tell me.
“I said we wouldn’t go ‘all the way.'”
“Ah, fuck!”
At that despicable face, I inadvertently stepped back, and Lee Hyeonseok grabbed my arm, knocked me down onto the bed, and bit my nape. As expected, he was definitely a son of a bitch.
“I’ll let you beg to do more.”
“Ugh…”
Lee Hyeonseok was already letting out a laugh tinged with pleasure as he began arbitrarily stripping off my upper clothes. A disgusted sound came out naturally.
“…Hm? Why are my hands, hng…!”
Having quickly stripped off my upper clothes, Lee Hyeonseok tied my wrists with the sleeve part. I let out a moan-like exclamation at the continuing action and was surprised at myself, opening my eyes wide. Lee Hyeonseok, who had been observing that appearance, chuckled.
“Look at you getting sensitive after doing it just once.”
“That’s! Not just once!”
I got angry instead at Lee Hyeonseok’s mocking words meant to shame me. Fuck, that’s not just once. We did it continuously for about a whole week, how can you call that just once?
“Focus.”
“Ah, wait…. Time…!”
My subtle effort to ruin the mood that was trying to get sticky failed due to Lee Hyeonseok’s suggestive whispers and blatant touches.
“Even though I fucked you to death last time, if you keep acting like this, what are you going to do? This is going to be your daily life from now on.”
“What, bullshit… Ah!”
“What’s so special about daily life? If you repeat the same thing every day, that’s daily life.”
As the bullshit continued, I tried to go along with it and ruin the mood once more, but when Lee Hyeonseok’s hand brazenly touched my butt, all efforts went to waste.
Throb, throb.
“…It hurts…”
This time too, without fail, I unconsciously made a pained sound at the gradually rising pain. The pain I’d already experienced once reminded me of the previous night, making me scrunch up my face hard. Still, perhaps because I had prior experience, I didn’t feel the disgust or resistance I’d felt back then. As expected, the first time is always the hardest with anything.
The act that seemed endless from yesterday evening until late dawn finally ended only after I passed out. Still, this time I was able to move my body. At first, it had been so painful like I’d been beaten all over my body that I couldn’t budge at all, but now it only amounted to feeling stiff.
“Ugh…”
When I raised my heavy body and looked around, just like last time, there was no one. Feeling my throat scratchy, I thought Lee Hyeonseok had gone to get water again this time too, but the door had no intention of opening.
I felt ambivalent emotions—being glad not to see his face while also wondering what kind of manners it was that he acted however he pleased, but then after it was over, he wouldn’t show his face once—as I looked for clothes.
Because everywhere was full of traces Lee Hyeonseok had made, asserting to anyone who saw that yes, I had an amazingly passionate time yesterday.
“Mm… It’s a PET bottle.”
Feeling scratchy, I looked around for water and discovered a plastic water bottle that hadn’t been there yesterday on the nightstand. The water bottle I picked up was cool, as if it hadn’t been long since it was bought, and there were no traces of the cap being opened. There were cups at home and water too, so why did he specifically buy a water bottle?
I examined the water bottle, shaking it this way and that, unable to hide my reluctant feelings. Being made of PET, it was light. It was fairly sturdy being full of water, but if I used this to shock something, the PET bottle would burst, not the something. Of course, I had no intention of swinging this around.
Anyway, it was cheap water you could buy for 600 won at a convenience store, not the Evian usually stocked in the fridge. The bastard with all that money being stingy.
“Urk.”
How exhausted was I—I had to struggle to open just one cap, making strained sounds and barely managing to open it, not to mention fumbling. I gulped down water due to thirst, but even the water going down my throat stung, making me groan once before drinking slowly.
Perhaps my thirst was worse than I thought—I emptied almost half before struggling to pick up and put on the clothes that had been stripped off under the bed. Until I was properly dressed, no one entered the room.
Thinking perhaps no one was home, the moment I tried to raise my body again, my back cried out in pain, forcing me to sit back down on the bed. My body was too heavy.
I decided to take back what I said about being able to move my body. When I was struggling around, I didn’t realize it, but when I tried to move in earnest, I wasn’t in a state where I could properly control myself, as if I were wearing sandbags all over my body. It was better than last time when I couldn’t budge from bed for four days, but today my physical condition wasn’t such that I could study either. I resolved to just lie down and listen to online lectures instead, feeling resentful that I had to study for the college entrance exam this much. Who would have imagined that after thinking “surely not,” I’d end up facing the weakest bastard among life’s Four Heavenly Kings three times?
“!”
“Oh my, you’re awake.”
While mulling over my misfortune, the door opened carefully. Like last time, I’d been off guard thinking it was Lee Hyeonseok, but it was Imo-nim. Not only was I startled, but even though I was dressed, I was flustered and embarrassed and pulled the blanket to cover my body as much as possible, but Imo-nim paid it no mind at all.
“Yes…. Um, where’s Lee Hyeonseok?”
“The young master went to the convenience store for a moment, so he’ll be right back. Are you feeling alright?”
“Yes, I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about me!”
I asked for Lee Hyeonseok even though I had no business with him. Seeing me extremely embarrassed, Imo-nim approached casually and asked while scanning me up and down with her eyes. Feeling my face hot, it seemed even my cheeks had reddened. I wanted to hide in a mouse hole if there was one.
“That’s a relief. The young master was so worried, telling me to peek in and see if you were okay.”
“……”
Could it be he sent Imo-nim first because he was scared I might crack my skull again? I tried to let it go since I couldn’t cause a bloody incident every time after having relations. As long as he doesn’t snap my reason first, there won’t be any bloodshed. Anyway, Lee Hyeonseok was a bastard overflowing with talent for pissing people off.
“Oh my, you don’t need to be so embarrassed. I’m a person without prejudice, you know? What era is it now, how can love have gender? Even now… don’t think you have to hide, just think of it as waiting until the young master properly gets his hands on the group.”
“Ha, haha…”
Instead of the curse that rose to my throat, I barely swallowed it and let out an empty laugh. Right, I couldn’t get angry at every single thing like this forever. When Lee Hyeonseok particularly didn’t correct wrong information, no matter how desperately I alone insisted otherwise, it lacked persuasiveness. If two people who weren’t officially dating did this and that together, anyone would see it as being a mistress, and at best, like Imo-nim or the secretary, it was a relationship where we couldn’t proudly claim to be lovers because of Lee Hyeonseok’s family circumstances.
“I’m on Jiwoo-ssi’s side, so think comfortably.”
Even though I squeezed my eyes shut tight because this absurd situation was too disgusting to look at, Imo-nim kept saying things that made my blood pressure rise enough to collapse, like she was cheering me on and whatnot. Thinking I’d have to continue receiving these misunderstandings until Lee Hyeonseok got sick of me, beyond collapsing from high blood pressure, I might ascend to heaven. Just letting it flow in one ear and out the other was the best method.
“Haah…”
“Oh my, I was thoughtlessly holding onto someone who’s tired.”
Imo-nim apologized with a smile at my sigh about an unwanted future. The instinct born and raised in a Confucian country told me to be polite, but I just couldn’t muster the energy so I stayed quiet, and Imo-nim withdrew, saying she’d be going now. She glanced at me before closing the door, but I pretended not to notice and just drank water.
“Right… I can’t keep reacting the same way…”
Reacting to everything only drained my energy for nothing. Judging that it would be faster to do something more productive or find another stress relief method instead, I vaguely thought I should ask Lee Hyeonseok to buy me a punching bag when I see him, and opened the nightstand drawer.
“Haah…”
The objects inside the drawer were messy. Among objects that made me sigh again just looking at them, not getting tired of them, I took out cookies in a semi-transparent plastic bag. Cookies I’d made myself three days ago while taking a break to cool my head while studying. Plain cookies without anything, chocolate cookies, green tea cookies. And even peanut cookies. …That day I really didn’t want to study, so I couldn’t help it.
After making a ton, I wrapped them in plastic bags and gave them to Imo-nim and the guard, and asked the secretary to deliver some too, but Lee Hyeonseok confiscated them all and ate them all himself. Whether he was a pig bastard or Scr*oge. Anyway, he was a bastard the devil would want as a friend.
