Only the peanut cookies had failed in temperature setting and were baked unattractively, so I’d set them aside separately. Perhaps they looked bad to Lee Hyeonseok too—he showed no interest even after seeing them, so while he was out of the house, I shoved them into the nightstand.
“At least they taste good.”
I’d burned a ton of calories, so I was hungry. I wanted to quickly devour them, but my lethargic body could only manage to chew slowly. The moment I barely finished eating the cookie I’d picked up and was about to take out another, the door opened.
“You’re up, what are you holding?”
Lee Hyeonseok walked right in with long strides without even knocking. He did that last time too—I wondered if Lee Hyeonseok didn’t know what knocking was. Whether he’d heard from Imo-nim that I was awake, he was busier examining my surroundings than me. Then, discovering I was holding something in my hand, he asked with slight wariness. He didn’t remember that he’d fucked me all night, yet his attitude treating me like some dangerous person was absurd.
“The cookies I made last time.”
When I showed him the cookie visibly along with blunt informal speech, Lee Hyeonseok finally approached as if relieved.
“If you’re hungry, ask me to prepare something, don’t go around picking up burnt things to eat.”
Then he spoke as if I were pathetic, so I ended up throwing the PET bottle at him.
“Ack!”
“Good thing I bought the cheap kind…. Do you have bad hand habits, or can’t you control your anger? Someone was saying that going to a psychiatrist these days isn’t even a flaw, so when will you take me there?”
“Who… Urk!”
Lee Hyeonseok lightly caught the PET bottle I’d thrown forcefully, as if receiving a pass. Lee Hyeonseok took no damage, but my back, which had suddenly exerted force in an unhealthy body, wasn’t unharmed. Without even properly grasping what Lee Hyeonseok meant by saying he’d bought the cheap kind, I curled up my body with a groan in pain, and Lee Hyeonseok chided me as if dumbfounded.
I felt truly wronged. After tormenting me all night, instead of reading the room the next day, what kind of person can maintain reason when someone’s scratching at their insides? I tried to protest at the question of whether I couldn’t control my anger, but my throat stung and I failed. When I raised my remaining hand to my throat, Lee Hyeonseok clicked his tongue and shoved the PET bottle into my hand.
“Every time you open your eyes like that, I want to make it so you can’t use your limbs, so open your eyes prettily and just drink water.”
“Limbs.”
“We’re going to be seeing each other for a long, long time, so wouldn’t it be better for both of us if your limbs are intact?”
“How can you only say such correct things?”
When I glared at Lee Hyeonseok who was giving both the disease and the cure, he overlapped his hand on mine and applied enough force to crush the PET bottle. Since the material was what it was and it was cheap, it was natural for it to crumple with just a bit of force, but his threatening attitude was enough to make my heart generous.
“I’m that—”
“Eat…. Just, just eat this…”
Worried that the heart I’d barely made generous would narrow at Lee Hyeonseok’s shit-like words, I shoved the cookie I was holding into his mouth indiscriminately. Lee Hyeonseok ate what was in his mouth without even properly checking it, then hesitated and looked at me.
“You… what is this…”
“The peanut cookies I made last time…?”
“Th-this crazy. Kugh, kughk.”
“Lee Hyeonseok?”
Lee Hyeonseok spat out the peanut cookie in his mouth into the trash can. He couldn’t breathe properly and was gasping, then collapsed just like that. When I, flustered, got close to Lee Hyeonseok, he was wheezing as if suffocating and gasping toward me.
‘1-19…!’
This time I didn’t do anything?
* * *
The doctor who had diagnosed Lee Hyeonseok with a penile fracture adjusted his glasses, then looked at me suspiciously and said solemnly.
“It’s a peanut allergy.”
“Peanut allergy.”
The doctor looked at the secretary asking what’s with this guy, but the secretary just cleared his throat and didn’t say anything else, just looking at Lee Hyeonseok who was unconscious and receiving antihistamine. I also had nothing to say and looked down at Lee Hyeonseok.
“He had anaphylactic shock causing respiratory distress. Please be careful when eating food from now on, and the test results also showed an allergic reaction to cinnamon, so you must be careful of that as well.”
“Yes, thank you.”
The doctor mainly looked at me rather than the secretary attending to Lee Hyeonseok and spoke as if warning me. Anyone watching would think I was trying to kill Lee Hyeonseok. However, even as I was about to feel bad, I couldn’t find words to say and just stared at Lee Hyeonseok intently. Whether the secretary detected that I was slightly uncomfortable, he took the doctor somewhere.
Only then did I let out a sigh of relief and plopped down on the chair beside the bed. At that moment, Lee Hyeonseok opened his eyes with a long breath.
“Ha…”
“Lee Hyeonseok!”
When I got up from the chair and approached Lee Hyeonseok closely, he glanced at me once then turned his head to look around.
“Did you know you had a peanut allergy? They said you had respiratory distress because of that. How’s your body? Ah, I’ll call the doctor now.”
“It’s fine.”
I was relieved thinking it was fortunate Lee Hyeonseok woke up, but he somehow looked at the window with an attitude close to resignation and answered. A heavy silence descended in the VVIP hospital room.
“I’m truly sorry.”
“Hey.”
“Yes.”
When I, after pausing for a long while, offered an apology, Lee Hyeonseok called me frighteningly as if he’d never heard it. Although I said I didn’t know, the fact that I almost sent someone to the afterlife was true, so I groveled flat.
“You’re not The Last Leaf.”
“Yes.”
“Look over there.”
“What does that look like to you?”
“…A leaf…”
Lee Hyeonseok pointed at the window he was looking at. Following the tip of his finger, I saw a bare tree branch outside the window. A bare tree branch with only four leaves attached.
“When I was hospitalized last time, there were five of those.”
How bored must he have been to be counting leaves?
“But today there are four?”
Or else he empathized too much with the leaf hanging on that bare branch.
“Is this book perhaps The Last Leaf?”
Probably not.
* * *
April 28th. Weather moderate.
Since Lee Hyeonseok was hospitalized, I went to a convenience store and bought a diary since they had one. I also bought snacks because my mouth was bored. Since they said he’d be hospitalized for a day to monitor his progress, I had nothing to do so I decided to write a diary. Everyone whispered looking at me that they thought I was a nutcracker doll, but I was actually a life breaker. Was it because of that? Some tormented me by putting their hands to their noses as if I smelled and scrunching up their faces, or blatantly avoiding me. I wanted to go home, but I felt sorry about almost accidentally sending Lee Hyeonseok off, so I decided to stay by his side. Also, I heard that this time Lee Hyeonseok’s parents would chew me to death. I gave Lee Hyeonseok snacks I bought from the convenience store as a bribe, but far from accepting them, he threw them straight at my face.
April 29th. Weather chilly.
From the hospital to home, Lee Hyeonseok did all kinds of scolding, sarcasm, and put-downs. That the only useful thing about me was my body, it was quite a spectacle. I wondered if he was indirectly saying he wanted to be hospitalized again. Meanwhile, Lee Hyeonseok unhesitatingly stabbed the eyes of a perverted guard who was scanning me up and down as if appreciating me. After that, he sent me home first, so I don’t know what happened to that perverted guard, but seeing the white sleeves of Lee Hyeonseok who came home with some blood on them, I made him abalone porridge to commemorate his discharge. I didn’t know it was spoiled abalone. As a result, I ended up hospitalizing Lee Hyeonseok again.
April 30th. Weather clear.
Writing a diary was unexpectedly fun, so I decided to continue. Fortunately, Lee Hyeonseok’s body at least was sturdy, so he was discharged in one day. Upon returning home, Lee Hyeonseok even declared in front of me that he would absolutely never eat anything I gave him.
May 1st. Weather clear.
While Lee Hyeonseok was at school, someone who was Lee Hyeonseok’s father came and slapped my cheek asking how this worthless bastard dared to touch someone. I understand him getting angry because I almost caused a big accident to someone else’s precious child, but calling me a worthless bastard crosses the line. If he weren’t an elder…
May 2nd. Weather cloudy.
Yesterday, Lee Hyeonseok said he was sorry for making me get slapped and fucked my body, saying he’d apologize with his body. I don’t know what he did, but I got a light apology text from Lee Hyeonseok’s father. I wondered whether I should thank Lee Hyeonseok or say this wasn’t necessary since I understood the father’s feelings, but thinking what did it have to do with me, I just decided to ignore it.
May 3rd. Weather clear.
I asked Lee Hyeonseok to recommend a punching bag, and he took two steps back from me, being wary and asking why. When I roughly said it was because of college entrance exam stress, he seemed reluctant but sent a punching bag in the evening. When I said how much and that I’d wire transfer the money, he said it was fine and just to relieve stress only on the punching bag. I don’t understand why he treats me like a dangerous person.
May 4th. Weather chilly.
Yesterday evening while I was trying out the punching bag, Lee Hyeonseok who was watching pounced on me just like that. I haven’t been able to study properly for the college entrance exam these past few days because my body hasn’t been well… Today’s ruined too.
May 5th. Weather clear.
To Lee Hyeonseok who was trying to finish off my body today too, I pleaded let’s please study, you may not know but this was my first time. I said I’m still not used to it and it’s too hard, and he said this was his first time in this body too. Since he was a bastard good at everything, I unknowingly said, “So you’re an experienced newcomer?” and he made a face like he’d heard bullshit. Fortunately, whether his mood cooled, he just slept.
May 6th. Weather cloudy.
Trying to study properly after a long time, I can’t do it. That bastard Cheon Jaekyung, I will definitely curse for generations… Ah. I already cut off his line…
May 12th. Weather clear.
Perhaps my body got tired from studying and various other reasons, I got a nosebleed so I went to the hospital with Lee Hyeonseok. As expected, I received a diagnosis that excessive stress was the problem. Along with words to get some rest, I got vitamins.
May 20th. Weather chilly.
After going to the hospital, Lee Hyeonseok didn’t touch me for a while, so I caught up on overdue studying. Even when Lee Hyeonseok was sarcastic, I just ignored him and studied, but perhaps quite a bit of stress built up, I got a nosebleed after a long time. Even though I’m taking vitamins regularly, my body feels quite heavy.
May 22nd. Weather clear.
Lee Hyeonseok is holed up at home. When I asked why he wasn’t going out, he said he was resting for the time being and is just watching me like crazy. He’s watching me so much that anyone would think he’s trying to eat me. Even thinking about whether I did something wrong, recently there’s nothing. Perhaps because of stress, I keep getting lethargic, so I couldn’t study today either.
May 23rd. Weather clear.
Perhaps I was getting signs of a cold, somehow the house air felt heavy and stuffy, so I asked Lee Hyeonseok to open the window but got hit on the forehead, being told I had no caution. Damn bastard. Is he managing more because Lee Hyeonseok is at home? There’s a good scent throughout the house.
