## Chapter 132
“Author, I found horn-rimmed glasses! These have no prescription.”
Manager Yoon Hyesu rushed into the studio, breathlessly handing Mo Eunje black horn-rimmed glasses. They had a square frame with slightly rounded corners. Mo Eunje put aside his appreciation and maintained a neutral expression.
“How did you find them?”
“I didn’t think we could buy them nearby, so I went around the office and luckily found an employee in the marketing team wearing horn-rimmed glasses. After explaining the situation, they gladly lent them to us.”
“Thank you for your hard work. I appreciate it.”
“Not at all. It’s just part of my job.”
“MC, Author Lee! We’re starting rehearsal!”
At the staff member’s call, Mo Eunje put on the horn-rimmed glasses, turned off his phone, and slipped it into his back pocket. He decided to follow Jang Jiha’s advice to avoid the mishap of last time when he had forgotten his phone after giving it to Manager Yoon.
“Let’s go, Eunje. I’m counting on you today.”
“Me too. Sign my book later.”
“Of course.”
He headed to the studio set with Author Lee Choyoung. For a moment, everything went dark, and he felt a slight dizziness, but since he’d eaten a hearty breakfast to keep his energy up, it wasn’t serious enough to be a problem.
He hoped Tae Igyeol wouldn’t watch the livestream. He hoped he was spending peaceful time with his grandmother, and Mo Eunje worried that seeing him would only cause Tae Igyeol concern. But knowing without a doubt that he would watch, Mo Eunje decided he needed to smile widely and host the show with as much energy as possible.
I’m doing well, so you take care of yourself too and come back.
I’ll be waiting, so just return to your place whenever you’re ready.
Despite missing him so much that he could barely hold on, Mo Eunje habitually hypnotized himself, deceiving and betraying his own heart.
&
Grandmother’s house in New Orleans was a spacious one-story home with a patio and swimming pool. Before his grandmother and grandfather moved there, Song Yeonhwa, Tae Igyeol, and Mo Eunje had visited first to look at various houses and choose one together.
Song Yeonhwa had said they should avoid houses with stairs due to the elderly couple’s age, Mo Eunje had insisted on a swimming pool since swimming was Grandmother’s hobby, and Tae Igyeol had emphasized the need for a patio for Grandmother and Grandfather to enjoy their morning tea in the lazy sunshine.
But at that time, there were no houses on the market in Grandmother’s hometown that met all those conditions. So they bought a wooden house with a pool in the garden and undertook construction to install a spacious patio. The wooden structure was Grandmother’s requirement.
The house had several rooms and was much too large for just two elderly people, but they had chosen the biggest possible house because Grandfather and Grandmother disliked feeling cramped. The plan had been to hire someone to help with maintenance if it became too difficult, but the two were so healthy, energetic, and enjoyed tending the house so much that they hadn’t yet needed outside help.
“Igyeol, your mother wants to speak with you.”
Tae Igyeol had just come out of his room with his laptop to watch the ‘Book of the Month’ livestream with his grandmother when she, who had been talking on the phone with Song Yeonhwa, handed him the phone. It was almost 11 AM in Korea and nearly 9 PM in Louisiana.
“Yes. Go ahead.”
“Igyeol, the dates for this vacation have been decided.”
“Yes.”
“Iden’s last filming is on August 10th. But with Eunje’s family’s hospital, we need to include two weekends to get a longer break. So this year, we decided to take vacation from August 13th to 21st. We’ll take an evening flight on the 12th, and since everyone needs a day to rest before returning to work after entry, we’ll be back in Korea on the 20th.”
Until last year, they had taken their summer vacation from late July to early August, but this time they had scheduled it a bit later to accommodate Tae Iden’s schedule.
“Will you come back to Korea and leave with us again, or will you stay at Grandmother’s house until then?”
“Well… I’m not sure yet. I think I need to see how things go.”
Mo Eunje had an exceptional and unique affection for the vacations the two families took together every summer and winter, so he wouldn’t miss it. Tae Igyeol had to carefully consider whether to attend, as his presence would determine whether the two of them would meet. Though he desperately wanted to see Mo Eunje’s face, even under those circumstances, he also thought it might be better if he skipped it, considering how uncomfortable and anxious Mo Eunje would feel.
Among the plans Tae Igyeol had devised, the most extreme approach—pretending to completely end their relationship and disappearing from Mo Eunje’s sight—was the method he had wanted to avoid most. As much as it would be shock therapy for Mo Eunje, he would also have to endure the difficult time of not having him by his side. But unless he took this drastic step, Mo Eunje would never find the courage.
Unable to bear the frustration, Tae Igyeol smoked cigarette after cigarette until his lungs felt like they were rotting. Though he knew his grandmother was worried, he couldn’t put down the cigarettes and spent most of his time in the backyard, which was his grandfather’s designated smoking area. As expected, the hardest thing to endure was the fact that Mo Eunje wasn’t by his side. It was ironically amusing that he was dying from the pain of this separation when he himself had turned his back on Mo Eunje and made this drastic move.
He hoped that Mo Eunje felt the same way, that he was suffering through this time and realizing he couldn’t live without him. He hoped that, unable to endure these hellish days without each other, Mo Eunje would become honest with himself, find courage, and accept him.
“Alright. Let me know when you decide.”
“I will.”
After hanging up, he quickly turned on his laptop. There were about four minutes left until the livestream. Usually, the live channel would go on air about five minutes early, so if he turned it on ahead of time, he could see Mo Eunje reviewing his cue cards. His hands moved faster, anxious not to miss even that brief moment. The circle pendant on Tae Igyeol’s wrist caught the light and swung as he moved hurriedly.
“Take it easy, take it easy. It starts at nine, right?”
“But I can see Eunje’s face before the broadcast starts. They turn on the screen early.”
“…Do you like Eunje that much?”
“Yes. I like him so much I can’t think straight. Here he comes. Look, his face is already showing.”
Tae Igyeol grinned at his grandmother. Mo Eunje’s face filled the screen as he reviewed his cue cards. He was wearing a circle pendant around his neck identical to the one on Tae Igyeol’s wrist.
“Our little cutie doesn’t seem to be at ease either.”
Mo Eunje was wearing horn-rimmed glasses, which might have made it difficult to assess his condition on a small phone screen, but on the laptop’s large display, Tae Igyeol could clearly see his state. His eyes were red, as if he hadn’t been sleeping properly, and he looked like he’d lost about 3kg. His fatigue was evident, visible despite the makeup. Being someone who couldn’t stand hunger, he would at least be eating regular meals, but Mo Eunje, despite appearing resilient, had a somewhat sensitive temperament that made him vulnerable to stress, which was concerning.
“Yes. Only by wandering do we learn how precious what we’ve lost truly is…”
His grandmother’s muttered words to herself contained many hidden meanings. Perhaps she thought Tae Igyeol and Mo Eunje were in a phase of wandering in order to realize their preciousness to each other.
But to Tae Igyeol, it felt as if she was saying it for him to hear. It seemed like a subtle reprimand for his cowardly threat that he would never see Mo Eunje again if he didn’t accept him. It also seemed like she was worried about how he had lost 4kg from being unable to sleep at night, despite eating whatever she prepared. He had developed some swelling during the initial period of sleep deprivation, but since he had started walking and swimming a little, he was noticeably losing weight.
“Grandmother. I thought I was a remarkable person. I could do anything well if I set my mind to it, and everything went my way, so I guess I wasn’t afraid of anything.”
Tae Igyeol had lived under the delusion that the world existed for him, that it was a space created for him. Except for Mo Eunje, nothing had been difficult for him. He was incredibly quick at calculating gains and losses, everything seemed manageable, and he achieved things with ease. In a life where everything had gone according to his wishes, the only thing beyond his control was Mo Eunje.
“You are remarkable, Igyeol. You bravely revealed your heart and came here.”
“Do you think I did the right thing by burdening Eunje with my heavy feelings and coming to you?”
“When it comes to matters involving a person’s sincere emotions, as long as no crime has been committed, there’s no right or wrong. The textures of the emotions people hold can be the same, similar, or different, that’s all.”
“They were the same. No, at least they were similar. Even though Eunje said verbally that it couldn’t be, that he couldn’t accept me, his eyes seemed to be saying that he liked me. I felt like he was saying, ‘I like you too, but I can’t accept you when I think of our parents’… that’s how it appeared to me.”
Even after a week, Mo Eunje’s gaze remained vivid and clear in his mind. He had clearly recognized the emotion conveyed through that gaze, and that’s why he had abandoned all his plans and boldly executed the reckless act he had only kept as a last resort, never intending to go that far.
That is, turning his back on his connection with Mo Eunje and walking away.
“Sometimes people express with their eyes what they cannot say with words. Sincerity can be communicated even without language.”
“So honestly… now I don’t know what to do. I can’t stop loving him, but I can’t torment him anymore either.”
The statement that he couldn’t torment Mo Eunje anymore was sincere. How could he possibly torment someone who deserved nothing but love? At least now he was confident about Mo Eunje’s feelings, so if he could just be honest about his love for him, everything would be resolved—but how long that would take was impossible to gauge.
