— Where are you.
Hearing Eunho’s voice, low and thick, Doyun felt a wave of panic wash over him.
He’d been so fixated on the visual shock that he’d completely forgotten about the auditory stimulation.
From somewhere far back in his mind, he thought he could hear the moan from his dream — “haa…” — as if it were Eunho’s.
Doyun cleared his throat — ahem, ahem — and replied as casually as he could manage.
“Where else… home.”
His voice came out trembling like a goat’s bleat.
Doyun punched his own thigh soundlessly.
Composure!
— You don’t have morning classes.
What are you interrogating me for…
Doyun cleared his throat one more time, took a deep breath, and tried to hypnotize himself.
I did not jerk off to Sa Eunho. Wet dreams are a natural physiological phenomenon.
I did not jerk off to Sa Eunho… Wet dreams are a natural physiological phenomenon.
I did not… Sa Eunho… wet dream…
It wasn’t working at all.
“I had an assignment I hadn’t finished, so I just came out early. You drank a lot yesterday — you don’t remember a single thing you said, right?”
Doyun asked, testing Eunho’s memory with barely concealed hope embedded in the question.
He’d left before Eunho woke up, so Eunho definitely shouldn’t know anything.
People with a secondary gender — unlike betas — have a sense that perceives pheromones. Eunho had insisted that sensing pheromones and smelling with one’s nose were clearly two different things, but the fact remained that Eunho had a sharp sense of smell.
What if — just by some one-in-a-million chance — Eunho had caught the scent and realized Doyun had finished?
Even the thought was mortifying.
He asked, hoping desperately that Eunho remembered nothing.
It wasn’t a completely far-fetched wish either — Eunho had reeked of strong whiskey with every breath.
— I remember everything. Life imprisonment.
“…Is that so.”
— Yeah. And that I told you not to date men.
Like a child throwing a tantrum, Eunho remembered every last thing — including how he’d badgered on about “don’t date men, regardless of secondary gender.”
At Eunho’s words, Doyun fell into thought for a moment.
“…I’ve been thinking about it.”
— Yeah. What did you think about.
Eunho’s soft, gentle voice tickled the shell of his ear, and faint goosebumps rose along his arm.
“Either way, I think if there’s something there, we should both just… date naturally. Ah — me saying this doesn’t mean I’m going to date a man. Obviously I’ll be dating a woman.”
He hadn’t considered the cause of the shocking fact that he’d had a wet dream involving Eunho.
But listening to Eunho now, it seemed like there was a reason he’d been having such abnormal dreams. Doyun opened and closed his fist as he spoke to Eunho in a somewhat uncertain voice, but with clear intent behind his words.
— …I’m listening. Keep going.
“You said it before, remember? Let’s both not date anyone and just hang out together. I think… that’s a bit much. If you meet someone good, I’m saying you should just naturally go for it. Honestly, drifting apart a little while you’re dating someone — that’s a normal thing between friends.”
Doyun wedged his phone between his ear and shoulder and slowly stroked the arm where the goosebumps had risen.
From the other end of the line, Eunho’s sigh came through.
— Right, it is a normal thing. But, Doyun, you’re rushing right now. I’m not saying I want us to stay just the two of us forever either. I just want to be with you until I feel ready.
Just the two of us, the two of us. Eunho placed unusual emphasis on the word “just the two of us.”
There it was again.
Whenever Eunho started persuading him like this — stressing “just the two of us” — Doyun, who had never been strong-willed, always ended up getting completely swept in without a fight.
Yesterday too, Eunho had gone off out of nowhere saying things like don’t date men and beta men like it from behind too — that might have been what triggered the wet dream.
Irrational, explicit talk that was difficult to process rationally surfacing through his subconscious, naturally setting off pent-up urges — that was probably all it was.
It was absolutely, absolutely not because he saw Eunho as a romantic interest.
Doyun sat on the mattress, looking at his own underwear hanging in the corner of the room, and continued.
“Honestly, I still have way more fun hanging out with you guys and you… but some people meet in university, get married, and spend their whole lives together. My parents met when they were in university too. Anyway, my point is — I might meet someone like that at this age, and it seems a bit wrong to rule out the possibility just because it feels uncomfortable.”
He felt like he’d explained his situation to Eunho quite reasonably and coherently.
Doyun was quietly impressed with his own articulate way of putting things.
On the other end of the line, Eunho seemed to fall into thought after hearing Doyun’s words, and silence settled between them.
— …Doyun. You know I’m more comfortable with you than with Minjun or Suhyeok, and that I like you more. It doesn’t have to be only a spouse you spend your whole life with. I want to go the distance with you too.
Between a man and a woman — or between an alpha and an omega — if words like these were exchanged, the other person might easily mistake it for a heartfelt confession or even a proposal to be together forever.
That was just how sweet Eunho’s words sounded — even to Doyun, who was a beta and a longtime friend.
Eunho was someone who had clear boundaries in relationships. Having grown up in more varied environments than Doyun, Suhyeok, or Minjun, Eunho’s social circle was also wide and varied. Within the complex, layered structure of Eunho’s relationships, there were clear lines — and Suhyeok, Minjun, and Doyun were among the very few friends who had crossed all of them. To those friends, Eunho was always generous and caring.
Doyun didn’t want to misread that warmth.
He scratched idly at his thigh and spoke.
“I know that too. But I think I need some balance. You… could probably start dating someone pretty quickly if you set your mind to it. So don’t feel sorry for me and wait around until I get a girlfriend — if you can see someone, just go ahead and see them.”
— Why…. You think because I’m an alpha, I’ll just get with anyone as long as the body’s right? I’m not that kind of guy.
Whether he’d misunderstood, a cold, crushed voice came surging out from Eunho’s end of the line.
At the sudden shift in tone, Doyun waved his hand frantically — even though Eunho couldn’t see him — and launched into a sincere explanation.
“I don’t think that at all. It’s just — you’re good-looking… you’ve got a great body, and your voice is great too. If I were a woman, I would’ve dated you immediately. Friends or not, none of that would’ve mattered. Honestly, I’d straight up date you and marry you.”
— …I really hate you.
“……”
Just as Doyun was deflating, thinking he’d made things worse, Eunho’s quiet laughter came through.
— You make it impossible for me to even stay mad.
“Don’t be mad.”
Doyun looked up.
His gray underwear, still damp and darkened from the moisture, hung there in the corner.
Hearing Eunho laugh, the knot of guilt that had been lodged in Doyun’s chest dissolved just a tiny bit.
He couldn’t bring himself to say sorry — so Doyun just laughed awkwardly along with Eunho.
— Hang out with me again today and sleep over, and I won’t be mad.
“Come on… why do you phrase things like that.”
Doyun scratched his head at Eunho’s suggestion and replied.
He had absolutely no idea why hanging out wasn’t enough and they had to sleep over too — but Doyun let out a sigh and said “fine.”
If he showed any hesitation here, Eunho would just keep pestering him, so Doyun decided to concede the point.
— Should I come to you, or will you come here?
At those words, Doyun’s gaze drifted involuntarily to the damp underwear still hanging there.
That thing needs to be thrown out.
***
Staring at the narrow mattress, Doyun thought it probably would’ve been better to sleep at Eunho’s place after all.
Eunho’s bed was large — there was plenty of room for two people to roll around to either side.
The lingering discomfort and guilt of having had a wet dream involving Eunho made the idea of squishing together on this narrow mattress feel like the last thing he wanted to do.
But Eunho had been quietly insistent — “Your place is more convenient for getting to school the next day” — so the two of them had ended up at Doyun’s studio apartment.
Since they’d both drunk so heavily the night before, they didn’t buy any more alcohol.
Doyun and Eunho stopped at the seolleongtang place in front of the school, got three servings packaged to go, and ate at Doyun’s place.
“Why is there not even a spoon — how tragic” — Eunho’s bewildered expression made Doyun scratch his head in embarrassment.
The only utensil in Doyun’s apartment was still a single fork.
He’d always thought he’d grab some from home when he had the time, but kept forgetting every single time.
Anyway, after eating with Eunho, they played a board game together, and fell asleep early in the evening.
Not that they’d gone straight to sleep, of course.
Eunho had fallen into a deep sleep first, and Doyun, listening to his steady breathing, attempted the meditation technique he’d read about earlier that day.
Nothing will happen tonight.
There were no dirty jokes from Eunho messing with his subconscious, and since he’d already emptied things out once yesterday… his body had no reason to act on its own again.
With that thought, Doyun let his mind fill with images of endlessly stretching green meadows and the picture-perfect scenery spread out above them, and drifted off to sleep.
