Perhaps Hui-myeong leaving would be better for him. He’d feel empty for a while, but wouldn’t he soon live well with a normal married life, having children? Hui-myeong wanted to justify his actions at least that way.
“Mmng.”
Hui-myeong pressed his body against him, embracing his upper body. Let’s leave. That’s the way to cut off this long twisted relationship. His resolve became even firmer.
No matter how he thought about it, the only opportunity was during the wedding. Sell all the watches he had to secure money and go to America. Hide there tightly for about three months, then go to another country, and again, and again. If there’s a country he likes, stay there and spend about a year or two, and wouldn’t Do-ha give up?
‘One or two years won’t be enough, will it?’
Since the years spent with Do-ha were ten, it would definitely take a long time to forget and give up. For both Do-ha and Hui-myeong, forgetting that terrible relationship would be difficult.
For that, he’d need a lot of money, but carrying around cash was dangerous. If he stayed in Korea, Do-ha would find him somehow, so the conclusion was still overseas. Would it be better to go to the Philippines where English works and the cost of living is cheap?
At that moment, the video of Filipino divers he’d watched right before Do-ha came home floated into Hui-myeong’s mind.
‘Was it Palawan?’
The coral reefs were incredibly beautiful and there were tons of interesting fish.
Even though he went to America with nothing, he’d lived there for six years and attended language school quite regularly because of visa issues, so light English communication was sufficiently possible. The Philippines with clear water and low prices would be perfect, but the problem was he didn’t know anyone there and it would be dangerous to stay alone.
‘It would be convenient if I could get hyung’s help.’
Hui-myeong agreed to some extent with what Geum-gang had said. He didn’t know what might happen to him if he went around asking just anyone to lend him money. While trying to run away from Do-ha, his life could be thrown into the gutter like in movies or dramas.
He had no intention whatsoever of moving from leeching off Do-ha to leeching off Geum-gang. However, his hope was that he could at least receive help by using their old connection. Based on Geum-gang’s attitude so far, it was wishful thinking, but he was confident he could persuade him. Despite receiving such cold treatment, Hui-myeong still believed Geum-gang wouldn’t abandon him.
When their lips separated, Do-ha looked at Hui-myeong’s lips continuously as if regretful. Meeting that gaze, Hui-myeong threw out a question.
“Where did you say you’re going for your honeymoon?”
“Maldives. Jay wants to go there. It’s just a formality anyway, so let’s just spend a night in Jeju Island and come back.”
He answered while pulling down his pajama pants again. Do-ha, whose arousal had risen again, was intoxicated by heat without even knowing why Hui-myeong was asking about the honeymoon.
Maldives. They said it was a place where you could see sharks while diving. You could easily see manta rays too. Since he had nothing to do, he felt like he’d gone through all the diving spots in the world on YouTube for a day. Though it was just on a small phone screen, he felt a sense of liberation as if he himself were floating through the water.
“How many days are you going for?”
“A week. Turn around.”
He answered roughly and turned Hui-myeong’s body. How much did he rest to be in heat again? In the end, without saying much more, Hui-myeong’s rear was penetrated again. Usually it didn’t end with once, so it was a natural procedure.
“Mmng, hak!”
“You taste fucking delicious today. Ha, fuck!”
As Do-ha said, his body was unusually hot and sensitive today, so his vision kept flashing white.
‘Diving, my ass.’
Today at least, Hui-myeong wanted to be ruined too. More than the fact that he had to leave Do-ha, it hurt more that Geum-gang, whom he’d met after ten years, had turned away from him. Just a few hours since they parted, and he missed Geum-gang.
3.
Only the next day could Hui-myeong understand why his body was so hot last night. He opened his eyes to prepare breakfast for Do-ha, but he couldn’t move an inch from the bed.
“Do-ha-ya……”
He tried to put strength in his throat, but his voice wouldn’t come out of his mouth. Do-ha had woken up first and was showering.
“Ah, hng……”
It was hot as if boiling under his skin. Even when he tried to get up, his body wouldn’t move properly. Since he’d been feeling bad yesterday, he’d begged Do-ha to do it hard, so the area around his hole burned and ached as if scorched by fire. The sound of water had already stopped, but he didn’t come out even after a long time.
“Why won’t you come out……”
Hui-myeong waited for Do-ha while whining alone. Since his body hurt, just Do-ha not being in front of him made him anxious.
Do-ha dried off and only showed himself after changing clothes in the dressing room connected to the bathroom. Upon discovering Hui-myeong limply drooping, he urgently approached.
“What’s wrong with you?”
Do-ha examined his condition while cupping Hui-myeong’s face.
“I, I’m sick.”
Hui-myeong said with difficulty, his eyes half-open. It seemed going out with just a shirt on yesterday had a big impact. The temperature difference was already large, and since he didn’t usually go out at night, he hadn’t thought it would be that cold.
“Haah……”
Do-ha sat down crouched below the bed, tightly grasping Hui-myeong’s hand with both hands as if praying. While he was merciless when hitting with his own hands, when Hui-myeong became helplessly sick like this, he became anxious. It was because of the instinctive anxiety that he might lose Jung Hui-myeong.
“Hng, Do-ha-ya. Go. You’ll catch it.”
Despite Hui-myeong’s reproach, Do-ha kept stroking his hand and bit his lips.
“I’ll call Dr. Oh. Don’t go anywhere today, just rest.”
“Will you be late?”
“I’ll have to see. There’s a lot to handle before the wedding.”
“I think I’ll miss you.”
Hui-myeong said, blinking his softly opened eyes.
Even in this situation, Do-ha couldn’t hide his pleased expression. Simple guy. He’s that happy with just such words, but usually instead of such words, his petulance came first.
“I’ll try to come early.”
Do-ha brushed Hui-myeong’s hair and kissed his pale forehead.
“When I get better, let’s go to Bins, okay? I want to eat the melon bingsu there.”
“I’ll buy you a hundred bowls of melon bingsu, so just get better first.”
Do-ha didn’t care about contagion at all and kissed Hui-myeong as is. A cold tongue stirred around the hot mouth. Hui-myeong sucked and licked it as if it were the water of life. Saliva pooled under his tongue, but Do-ha swallowed even that without leaving anything. It was a familiar act to both of them.
“Mm, mmng…, mmng.”
In the middle of preparing for work, Do-ha climbed on top of Hui-myeong’s body.
Even when sick, the feeling that he wanted him, or the feeling of being loved, eased Hui-myeong’s loneliness. Though the sensation of being crushed by high fever was added, Hui-myeong embraced him with all his strength. When he traced the back wearing only a shirt, he could feel his quality muscles at his fingertips. A person who was entirely mine, but the fact that I have to send him away helplessly felt even sadder today.
When their lips barely separated, Do-ha wiped Hui-myeong’s glistening lips with his thumb. As if that wasn’t enough, he even sucked the saliva on his fingertips as if he wouldn’t leave a single trace.
“You’ll catch it……”
“Catch it from me and get better quickly. I have to go to the hotel before my honeymoon. Or should I send her to the Maldives alone and we go on the honeymoon together?”
Do-ha spoke like a joke, but Hui-myeong knew it was half sincere.
Since returning to Korea, the two hadn’t been apart for even a day, let alone a week. He took Hui-myeong everywhere on business trips, and when day trips ran late, Do-ha drove all through the night to return home.
It was partly that Do-ha couldn’t stand nights without him, but the biggest reason was anxiety about Hui-myeong.
When living in America, unable to bear the loneliness and mental pain, Hui-myeong went half-crazy and had many dangerous moments from severe panic attacks. Do-ha, engulfed in fear that he might lose Hui-myeong, installed cameras in the house or stationed security guards, but each time Hui-myeong had seizures like crazy.
The feeling that someone was watching him. It was because of the anxiety that countless people were watching, ridiculing, and harassing him as he gave his body while getting beaten by a male friend. In that delusion, Do-ha was not the perpetrator but the savior.
The fact that the person who beat Hui-myeong and stole his body was the only person protecting him was an irony anyone would quickly notice. But Hui-myeong, whose cognitive system was already broken, couldn’t think logically. Without Do-ha, he wandered around looking for cameras that might be hidden in the house, and he’d fainted several times after having seizures and self-harming.
Do-ha’s separation anxiety started from then. Even though his symptoms improved after coming to Korea, he couldn’t let go of Hui-myeong. To the point where you’d wonder if he could properly go on his honeymoon.
