The next morning, Doha found himself in an unfamiliar place. It was Yungyeom’s studio.
It was the day they’d agreed to meet and discuss the song they’d be featuring on together.
A lyrical piano melody flowing from the speakers filled the studio. Perhaps because it was a top-of-the-line audio system, the sound quality was entrancingly good. But to Doha’s ears, that beautiful melody sounded like nothing more than a droning noise.
Doha sat stiffly on the sofa, staring into space. His vacant eyes had long since lost their focus.
‘Crazy bastard. Baek Doha, you crazy bastard.’
He gripped the cushion on his lap so tightly his knuckles turned white. His head was completely plastered with memories from last night. Like a broken videotape, certain scenes played on infinite repeat.
[Hyung…… I really like it.]
That low voice that had scraped against his ear. The sensation of that hot tongue tangling wetly with his. And that heavy, hard thing that had throbbed in his hand…….
“Uwaak!”
Doha let out a short scream without realizing it and clutched his head.
“Doha-ssi?”
Yungyeom, who had been sitting in the chair across from him listening to the music, looked at him with surprised eyes.
“Ah, yes? Yes!”
“What’s wrong? Are you feeling unwell somewhere?”
“N-no! It’s nothing! The song…… The song was so good I was just expressing my admiration.”
Doha waved his hands awkwardly with a forced smile. Cold sweat ran down his spine. Yungyeom tilted his head, then smiled gently again as he held out his tablet.
“That’s a relief. Since it’s a lyrical melody line, I was worried it might feel boring. How does it sound to you, Doha-ssi? Should we make the narration tone a bit drier?”
Yungyeom asked seriously for his opinion. But inside Doha’s head, only the word ‘regret’ floated around.
The morning’s memories rushed in like a tsunami. Lim Sehyun’s face right in front of his nose when he opened his eyes. His own pathetic state trapped helplessly by the limbs of the guy sleeping soundly without a care in the world. And above all…… that damp, sticky evidence left on his lower body.
‘Uwaaa……’
Doha screamed internally. I’ve gone crazy. Even if you get swept up in the mood, there’s a limit. Why did ‘let’s do it’ come out of your mouth? Is that something that comes out of the mouth of someone in their right mind?! What’s even more horrifying is that he didn’t hate the act itself. No, to be honest…… it was quite good.
The scene from this morning when he’d fled came to mind.
He’d slipped out of bed, holding his breath in case Sehyun woke up. His hands trembled as he changed clothes. He was terrified that Sehyun might open his eyes and say something like ‘Do you remember yesterday?’
In the end, Doha just quickly finished showering and left the dorm.
How am I supposed to look at that kid’s face now?
Lim Sehyun would be at the dorm when he returned. He didn’t have the confidence to face that shameless mug and act like nothing happened.
What the hell is that kid even thinking? No, does he even think at all? Though it’s really something to say this when I went along with it.
“Doha-ssi? Are you listening?”
At Yungyeom’s voice, Doha snapped back to attention.
“Ah, yes! Dry! Dry is good. Bone dry.”
“……Mm.”
Yungyeom smiled and took a sip of coffee. Doha gulped down the iced Americano in front of him to soothe his burning insides. The ice crunched as he chewed it.
“You don’t seem to be in great condition today. Your complexion is pale too.”
Yungyeom looked at Doha with worried eyes.
“Ah, I didn’t sleep well last night.”
It wasn’t wrong. Not only had he tossed and turned, he’d barely slept at all. His heart had been pounding so he’d pretended to sleep, but it wouldn’t be wrong to say he’d pulled an all-nighter. Of course, Lim Sehyun seemed to have slept quite comfortably. How could he be so carefree?
“Do you have some kind of worry? Your expression is too dark.”
Worries? Plenty. So many.
“I’m just…… scared to go back to the dorm.”
His face darkened. How am I supposed to face Lim Sehyun?
“Can I stay here for a while today?”
At the serious question, Yungyeom looked at Doha with slightly surprised eyes.
“Did something happen with the members?”
As a senior who’d done group activities long enough, Yungyeom had picked up that Doha had some problem with his members. Of course, the ‘problem’ Yungyeom was thinking of and the ‘problem’ Doha was experiencing were vastly different in nature.
“Ah, well……”
Doha avoided his gaze and mumbled vaguely. It wasn’t a typical team discord or fight—it was a 19+ romantic drama where the leader and maknae had rolled around in the same bed, which he couldn’t possibly say out loud.
Yungyeom nodded as if he understood from Doha’s reaction.
“I see. Well, when you’re living together, all sorts of things happen. I once even got into a fistfight with a member and ran away from home back in the day.”
“You, sunbae-nim?”
“Yes. I have more of a temper than I look, you know.”
Yungyeom showed a refreshing smile.
From his joking tone, it seemed like he was just saying it to comfort him, but Doha became genuinely curious about Yungyeom’s story.
“Surprising? I was quite hot-blooded in my debut days too.”
Yungyeom put down his coffee cup and chuckled as if lost in old memories.
“That was probably my second year after debut? I grabbed Gyuho hyung by the collar and we rolled around. Right in the middle of the dorm living room.”
“Wow…… Really? An actual fistfight?”
Doha’s eyes widened in disbelief. The Seo Yungyeom of today was like the personification of gentleness, but grabbing a member by the collar? He couldn’t imagine it.
“What was the reason? Part distribution? Or wanting to be center?”
He asked, thinking the reasons idols fight are pretty obvious, but the answer that came from Yungyeom’s mouth was unexpected.
“No. Chicken drumsticks.”
“……What?”
“We ordered delivery chicken and there was one drumstick missing. We went back and forth with ‘did you eat it,’ ‘no I didn’t,’ ‘you hid it,’ until it became an emotional fight and fists flew.”
Yungyeom shrugged his shoulders.
“Thinking about it now, it was really childish. But back then we were hungry and sensitive, so it felt like the most unfair thing in the world.”
So people’s lives really are all the same. You really can’t give up on drumsticks.
“So what happened? You said you ran away?”
“Yes. In the heat of the moment, I ran out without even grabbing my wallet, wearing just slippers. I boldly declared ‘I’m never coming back!’ but you need somewhere to go. No money, home was far, and I didn’t want to worry my parents.”
Yungyeom smiled bitterly as he rested his chin on his hand.
“In the end, I sat on the swing at the playground in front of the dorm and cried for an hour, then when Gyuho hyung came looking for me, I pretended to give in and went back. After that incident, Gyuho hyung and I became a lot closer.”
At Yungyeom’s small tale of valor, Doha couldn’t help but let out a “pfft” and burst into laughter. He definitely felt his tension easing a bit.
“So Doha-ssi, don’t think about it too seriously either. When you’re living together, it’s natural to clash and bicker. Sometimes it’s good to run away like this and catch your breath.”
Yungyeom looked at Doha warmly. His eyes held the ease and experience of a senior.
‘If it were because of chicken, that would be better.’
Doha swallowed a bitter smile internally. His worry was sticky, intimate, and complicated on a level incomparable to drumsticks. Deep kissing a member who’s like a younger brother, and in the same bed…… uwaak.
Thinking about it again made his head go white.
“Make yourself comfortable. I’m planning to be here until evening anyway.”
Yungyeom stood up from his seat, perhaps reading Doha’s complicated expression and not asking any more questions.
“If the sofa’s uncomfortable, you can use that cot over there. I use it when I pull all-nighters working, and it’s pretty soft.”
Doha glanced at the cot.
It does look comfortable.
But he couldn’t just lounge around here all day during such a busy time.
“But who actually ate that drumstick?”
The story had concluded, but he suddenly became curious about the drumstick’s whereabouts. At Doha’s question, Yungyeom spoke.
“Gyuho hyung did eat it.”
Then Yungyeom’s anger had been justified.
“But he told me about it like 5 years after the incident.”
Yungyeom’s face looked gentle as he smiled thinking about his member.
What would it feel like to spend such a long time together? If he’d been a trainee from an early age, the years spent with his members might even be longer than the years spent with his parents.
“Sunbae-nim, do you still get along well with your members?”
“Well, we’re not as closely bonded as before, but the feeling of supporting each other from one step away isn’t bad either.”
“That must be a really tight relationship.”
“When it comes down to it, you can’t deny that they’re the ones who understand you best. Affection born from dislike, affection born from fondness, something like that.”
Hearing this, Doha felt increasingly dizzy. To know each other that well, for that long, and to have to keep seeing each other’s faces…….
He wished last night had been a dream.
How am I really going to fix this?
