But since he couldn’t say that he’d possessed the body, Doha just kept his mouth shut. Then Sehyun tightly gripped Doha’s collar.
“I need you, hyung.”
Suddenly?
“I’m not just saying this. Hyung’s voice, hyung’s dancing, the atmosphere hyung has… our team needs all of it. No, I just need the person called Baek Doha.”
What is he saying right now?
At a glance, it sounded like a confession. Rather than a confession of romantic feelings, it was closer to a desperate plea to a comrade sharing survival.
Why is he suddenly getting all sentimental and making a fuss?
An unknown moisture appeared in Sehyun’s eyes. Seeing those eyes, Doha suddenly realized.
He’s being dragged into the past again. Sigh.
“In this group I belong to…”
Sehyun swallowed dry saliva and continued.
“I hope no one drops out. I don’t want to lose anyone again, ever.”
The word ‘again’ was emphasized. Doha unconsciously held his breath.
He thought he was just an obstinate success parrot, but it seemed trauma was deeply engraved. This side of Lim Sehyun is different. He looked exactly like someone who had aged as he appeared.
If only it were simply the desire to succeed and do better, how simple and nice that would be.
It always bothered him that there were such human stories behind his desires.
‘Ha… Lim Sehyun.’
If I weaken, I’ll be caught. How do I escape this?
A corner of Doha’s heart tingled. For someone who entered another person’s body and is living off them, did I think this man’s desperation too lightly?
Instead of swatting away Sehyun’s hand placed on his stomach, Doha quietly looked down at it. The trembling fingertips were pitiful.
“I won’t go. I won’t go, so move your hand.”
Uttering words that might become a lie, Doha unconsciously averted his eyes.
Then Lim Sehyun opened his mouth heavily.
“Then will you sing properly for me?”
“Huh?”
Did I hear wrong?
“If you’re going to do something, you have to do it properly.”
“…”
Don’t tell me you were picking on me all along?
It was absurd. Weren’t you immersed in sentiment? Hitting me in the back of the head like this?
“Please, with a solid sound.”
Sehyun shamelessly winked and exited the booth.
Click. The door closed and Sehyun’s figure appeared again beyond the glass window. Sitting in front of the mixing console, he had returned to a cold face as if nothing had happened.
‘…Crazy bastard.’
As expected, Lim Sehyun was indeed a crazy bastard.
* * *
Finally, the work was finished. Sehyun, who pressed the save button and took off and put down his headset, leaned deeply against the backrest and spun his chair. In the darkened studio, where only the monitor light was the sole illumination, there was Baek Doha curled up and sleeping.
“…”
Sehyun propped his chin and stared blankly at Doha’s sleeping face. The face sleeping obliviously looked peaceful, but Sehyun’s insides weren’t.
He slyly lifted and opened his right hand. It was the hand that had pressed Doha’s stomach in the booth earlier.
‘…You’re crazy, Lim Sehyun.’
The texture of the thin t-shirt that touched his palm and the firm, hot body temperature transmitted underneath were still vivid.
[…Hyung.]
His own voice, cracked and low, lingered in his ears.
He pretended to be indifferent, pretended to be professional, but the moment their eyes met, Sehyun’s heart was beating crazily as if it would break through his ribcage and come out.
He was dizzy from Doha’s breathing that filled the narrow booth.
‘He said he won’t go.’
Was it because he wanted to hear those words? He decided to live this life thoroughly calculatingly.
He vowed to become a machine that wasn’t swayed by emotions, running only toward success.
That’s what he had to do to not repeat the failures before his regression. He had to become a perfect human who didn’t give affection to anyone and didn’t show weakness to anyone.
But.
“…Mmm.”
Doha made a groaning sound and tossed his body. At that trivial expression of frowning as if uncomfortable, Sehyun’s gaze was fixed as if bound.
Strangely, I keep losing control only when standing in front of this hyung.
This hyung, who somehow changed to being four-dimensional unlike before, keeps bothering me.
“…I don’t know why I only soften in front of hyung.”
Sehyun muttered silently, only with lip movements. Simply because he’s a member the team needs? Or because his changed appearance from before regression is interesting? Or if not that…
Sehyun got up from his seat and approached the sofa. With careful steps, he crouched down beside Doha.
The white face exposed defenseless, long eyelashes, and slightly parted lips. As if entranced, Sehyun reached out and lightly brushed aside Doha’s disheveled bangs. The forehead touching his fingertips was soft.
“Don’t go.”
A confession the sleeping person couldn’t hear—Sehyun let out quietly.
“I can’t do without you, hyung. This time, really… I don’t want to be left alone.”
Doha tossed his body once more. His lips moved as if talking in his sleep, then his head dropped toward where Sehyun was. Sehyun didn’t avoid it and stared at that appearance blankly, for a very long time. Even in the darkness, his pupils were persistently chasing Doha. As if Doha would disappear like smoke if he took his eyes off him.
To Lim Sehyun, Baek Doha was the most difficult yet desperate homework he had to solve in this life.
* * *
“Cut! Good! Next scene, we’re going with the group dance!”
As the director’s instruction fell, the staff moved busily.
The blue sea of Gangwon-do. The endlessly spread horizon and breaking waves. It was a picture-like scenery. The problem was that today’s weather wasn’t very favorable.
“It’s cold.”
“Cold.”
“Why is there really so much wind?”
“Aaah, cold! I’m freezing to death!”
Yunbeom trembled while wrapped in a blanket. The concept was clearly ‘youth,’ but the reality was ‘harsh winter training.’ The lips of members wearing only a single thin silk shirt were turning blue.
“Hey, who said let’s come to the sea? Come out.”
Doha muttered while chattering his teeth. Then Sehyun, who was shaking a hot pack beside him, smiled brightly and raised his hand.
“Me.”
Who else would it be? Evil Lim Sehyun.
“…You really, someday I’m going to bury you.”
“The sandy beach is perfect for digging. But hyung, that expression now is good. Being pale from the cold, it’s exactly like a sickly beautiful boy.”
Sehyun grabbed Doha’s chin and turned it this way and that, admiring.
What should I do about that positive mindset?
Doha tried to sigh but closed his mouth as he almost coughed from the cold air.
“Alright, standby!”
At the assistant director’s call, the members moaned and threw off their blankets. The cold sea breeze mercilessly hit their bare skin.
“Music, cue!”
A grand beat burst from the speakers. The group dance on the sandy beach was more terrible than imagined. Their feet kept sinking deep, making it hard to maintain balance.
“Ugh!”
Haram staggered while turning.
This is… torture. Torture. Who dances on a sandy beach?
Haram made a tearful face. Eden patted Haram’s shoulder.
Music flowed out again. Music came out again, music came out again, new music started…, it was an infinite loop.
At this rate, they’d probably only stop if someone actually died.
Doha gritted his teeth. His ankles ached and his breath caught in his throat. But the moment the red light turned on the camera, he completely changed his expression.
‘I’m not cold right now. I’m youth right now. I’m right now… I want to go home.’
Perhaps because the desperation to go home seeped through, the director watching the monitor gave a thumbs up.
“Okay, cut! Wow, Doha-ssi really seems like a man with a story.”
The moment the director’s okay sign fell, the five men collapsed on the sand as if they’d made a promise.
“Ah, I really feel like throwing up…”
“Sand got everywhere…”
Eden spat out the sand in his mouth, going ptoo ptoo. But the break time wasn’t long. Individual cut filming immediately followed.
“Sehyun-ssi, this time we’re going with the water entry scene.”
“…What?”
Doha doubted his own ears.
Water entry? Now? When it’s cold?
“While being hit by waves, with the feeling of longing for something lost.”
They must have picked the wrong day, terribly wrong. This is the first time Lim Sehyun is pitiful. The water was really cold.
The director made a cruel order with a too-peaceful face.
Sehyun calmly kicked off his shoes. His bare feet sank deeply into the sandy beach. He rolled up his thin shirt sleeves and walked toward the sea with long strides. It was a back view without even this much hesitation.
“Cue! Action!”
The slate sound cut through the air. Sehyun’s feet submerged into the foaming waves.
He slowly, very slowly walked into deeper places. Cold seawater rose past his knees to his thighs.
Splash, splash.
The waves hit Sehyun’s body.
