“Jang Seokhyeon-ssi, do you think you’ll be safe after kidnapping someone?”
“What, you! Did Soohyun put you up to this? Is that it?”
“Jang Seokhyeon-ssi!”
Chaeho, gripping Jang Seokhyeon’s arms tightly, pulled his body close. Seokhyeon wasn’t short either, but he couldn’t overpower Chaeho with his strength, who was close to 190cm tall and had a considerable build.
“If you try to do anything foolish to Soohyun-hyung one more time… I won’t be gentlemanly like this then.”
“What? Are you crazy! Do you know who I am?!”
“Jang Seokhyeon-ssi, you’re the one who… should stop doing crazy things. I’m sorry about what happened to your car. But I had no choice if I wanted to save Soohyun-hyung. If you make a fuss about this, I’ll leak to the media that the second son of H Pharmaceuticals kidnapped and confined a perfectly fine person.”
“Wha… what?!”
“Just like you did.”
Watching Seokhyeon’s face contort, Chaeho twisted one corner of his mouth into a smile.
“Hyung is very anxious right now, so I’m going to leave first. If you need to contact me about the accident, please call. Ah, you might not need the business card. Jang Seokhyeon-ssi.”
“You… you!”
“You already know about me.”
Leaving the raging Seokhyeon behind, Chaeho got in the car. Soohyun examined his body, worried that Jang Seokhyeon might have harmed Chaeho somehow, but Chaeho put the car in reverse with an unconcerned face.
“Chaeho-ya, is it really okay to leave like this?”
“It’s fine. Hyung, don’t worry about anything, I’ll take care of it.”
All the way home with Soohyun in the car, Chaeho didn’t say a word. Soohyun looked at Chaeho’s profile before shifting his gaze to the window.
“But Chaeho-ya,”
“Hm?”
“You… how did you know? That I was there…”
“Telepathy.”
“What?”
“I’ll make sure this never happens again. I’m sorry.”
The image of young Chaeho crying that he was too scared to go home and holding his hand was still vivid, but when did he grow up to become such a reliable person he could depend on? Soohyun leaned against the car window, closed his eyes, and recalled what happened today. He suddenly remembered telling Seojun an absurd lie under Jang Seokhyeon’s threats, but Soohyun was too exhausted to call Seojun again.
“Sleep a bit. I’ll wake you when we get home.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
Looking at the already darkened outside, Soohyun relaxed his eyes. He thought it might be okay if he didn’t wake up like this.
## 6. Irreversible
After returning with Chaeho, Soohyun didn’t budge from Chaeho’s house for a while. He couldn’t even go out alone to buy a single bottle of water, so he either asked Chaeho when he came home or used delivery services.
“Chaeho-ya, I’m sorry…”
“Hyung, it’s okay. It’s nothing, so don’t apologize.”
Gradually, the person called ‘Lee Soohyun’ was becoming someone who couldn’t do anything, someone who couldn’t even live without others’ help. Soohyun, who had brightened up even for a moment, sank down like sediment. Watching Soohyun’s face grow darker day by day, Chaeho hugged him on his way to work, patted his back, and whispered in his ear.
“It’s okay. Hyung. Everything will be fine. Hyung…”
“……”
Sometimes he would answer with a small “yeah,” but Soohyun responded with silence instead. The life no different from being trapped in Chaeho’s house gradually made Soohyun lethargic.
“Hyung, today…”
“…You’re back?”
Knowing that the seemingly sleepy face was actually very lonely and desolate, Chaeho exhaled deeply before entering his house. He had seen Soohyun’s face like that before. After Jeongwon died, and after being subjected to terrible things by Jang Seokhyeon’s group, Soohyun would look at him with a face burdened by life.
“Hyung…”
“Are you, are you okay? Nothing… happened?”
“Huh? Yeah. Of course nothing happened to me.”
Chaeho awkwardly scratched the back of his head. Actually, there had been a lot going on. Even though it was to save Soohyun, after causing an accident by rear-ending Jang Seokhyeon’s car and dealing with the aftermath, Chaeho had to spend quite hectic days. Moreover, his parents found out about the accident and scolded him severely. Chaeho’s father pressed him about why he did such a thing, but Chaeho never brought up Soohyun’s story to the end.
“Chaeho-ya, I have something… to tell you.”
“Something to tell me? What is it?”
For Soohyun’s sake, Chaeho acted playfully and affectionately at home no matter how hard things were outside. He wanted to see his smiling face again, even just a little, just a tiny bit. When Soohyun was with Choi Seojun, he seemed stable and comfortable… Thinking of Jang Seokhyeon, the culprit who made him like this again, made him angry.
“I’m thinking of leaving here.”
“What?”
Chaeho couldn’t believe what he just heard. Soohyun stared at Chaeho, who was blinking, and lowered his voice.
“I can’t burden you any longer…”
“Hyung!”
Chaeho urgently reached out his hand. So he forgot that he grabbed Soohyun’s thin arm too hard. Soohyun frowned at the suddenly grabbed arm, and only then did Chaeho loosen his grip.
“Hyung, no. Stay here just a little longer.”
“…I don’t think I can do that.”
Soohyun had already made up his mind. Chaeho’s eyes grew hot. Just when he thought he was finally resting in his embrace, was he unable to become a nest for Soohyun? Soohyun couldn’t lift his head. Because even without seeing what kind of eyes Chaeho was looking at him with or what kind of face he was making, he could picture it.
“It won’t be right away. But I wanted you to know that.”
“Hyung, absolutely… absolutely don’t disappear without saying anything. You understand, right? Promise! It’s a promise.”
“Okay…”
He wished he could select people’s memories. He wished he could spread out memories like cards and pick out only the memories he wanted to erase and burn them away. Then he could erase all the memories of Jeongwon, the memories of Seokhyeon, and even the happy times with Seojun.
Twenty-nine, an age that could be considered young, but for Soohyun, who had not been comfortable for even a single moment in his past years, 29 years was quite long. There were more painful and difficult memories than good ones, and he had endured considerable time recalling adults’ words about living because they couldn’t die.
After barely escaping from Seokhyeon, Soohyun called Seojun again. Even though the dial tone rang for a long time, his voice couldn’t be heard, and Soohyun was about to press the end call button, thinking this was really the end with him. But just before the last ring, the voice of the person he missed was heard.
[What is it again, Lee Soohyun-ssi.]
“…Seojun-ssi.”
[I’m busy. Just get to the point.]
If ice could seep into a voice, it would feel like this. Even though Soohyun was holding the warm cell phone, his hands felt cold. His mouth wouldn’t open at his cold treatment, and though he hesitated for a few seconds, feeling like he’d never hear his voice again, he ended up blurting out something different from what he had planned to say.
“…I was wondering if you were doing well.”
[What are you asking right now? Are you asking after my well-being?]
Why were his eyes getting moist when he had only just heard his voice? When he had never once responded to his confession, why was he calling now? Even after saying himself that he had intentionally approached him.
At least what was fortunate was that bad articles about him were no longer being posted. If he told the truth here, who knows what Jang Seokhyeon would do. Soohyun decided to swallow the story he was going to tell Seojun that day.
[If you have nothing more to say, I’m hanging up. Don’t contact me like this ever again.]
“Seojun-ssi, I’m… just… a little worried…”
[Hah… Lee Soohyun-ssi. Now… did you just say you’re worried?!]
The strength left Soohyun’s hand holding the phone. Soohyun, who quickly picked up the cell phone that had fallen onto the sofa with a thud, tightly gripped his trembling hand with his other hand and listened to his voice. Even his angry voice was missed.
[Worried about me, are you in your right mind, Lee Soohyun-ssi? Did you forget what you did to me and said yourself? When I… when I treated Lee Soohyun-ssi with utmost care, how much you must have laughed at me… just thinking about it makes my head feel like it’s going to explode. Everything you showed me! Because I think it was all lies! I! Feel like I’m going crazy. I….]
Soohyun covered his mouth. If there was even a slight gap, it felt like an ugly crying sound would leak out. His heart tore at Seojun’s cry of anguish coming through the receiver. So this is what it feels like to have your heart torn to shreds. Had there ever been a time when the area around his heart hurt this much since Jeongwon died?
[Never… I don’t want to see you again. So don’t contact me.]
“I’m… sorry…”
It felt like he was vomiting blood rather than voice, but Soohyun could barely offer words of apology. Again, the words that came out of his mouth weren’t sincere. He hated himself for always having to say sorry to the people he loved.
Life became increasingly empty. Because the illness was eating away at Soohyun again, Soohyun thought he should leave the house before his sick body took root in Chaeho’s house.
