“Lee Soohyun-ssi, have you been well?”
When Soohyun entered the examination room, a doctor with a comfortable impression smiled at him with a very welcoming face.
“Yes. I’ve been well.”
He was the doctor who had treated Soohyun for the past five years and also the only person besides Chaeho’s family who knew about Soohyun’s past.
“Is there anything particularly different?”
The doctor asked about his recent situation with a gentle smile. Soohyun hesitated, then began to pour out what had happened.
“Ah. So you moved where you’re living. And you tried riding the bus?”
“Yes. I did try, but I couldn’t ride it for long.”
The doctor seemed lost in thought. Tapping the desk quietly, he prescribed several medications and carefully spoke to Soohyun.
“Soohyun-ssi, you’ve really tried hard. Before, you couldn’t even come outside, but now you can go out and even ride the bus, albeit briefly. You’ve really improved a lot.”
“Do you… think so?”
A faint arc formed at the corners of Soohyun’s mouth.
“Since you’ve tried the bus, how about trying a regular car or taxi? The medicine seems to be working well too.”
“Ah…..”
Could I ride in someone else’s car? Soohyun thought of Seojun. To be precise, the contract contents.
“You don’t need to push yourself, but if you can ride in a car, it’ll be much more convenient than now.”
“Yes. I’ll try. Thank you, doctor.”
Soohyun took the prescribed medicine and walked toward Seojun’s house. He considered trying the bus again on the way back, but it seemed unnecessary to push himself, so he rented a public bicycle.
“I’m lucky the wind is nice.”
Who knew the bicycle he’d learned at Chaeho’s insistence would be this useful? Even in the most trivial things, Soohyun thought of Chaeho. Recalling him holding him when he first rode a two-wheeled bicycle, a chill settled in his chest.
“I should hurry.”
He barely managed to arrive at Seojun’s house with about 10 minutes left of his break time. Thinking the house would naturally be empty, he felt signs of presence. Soohyun’s stiffened legs slowly crossed as he headed to the living room.
“Is… someone there?”
The only people who would enter Seojun’s house would be Seojun, the owner, and his manager. Soohyun’s heart, fearful of strangers, beat rapidly. Could it be a burglar? Could it be that he’d been careless with locking up? Soohyun found himself walking stealthily without realizing it.
“Ah…..”
Seojun, who had left in the morning, had returned at some point and was lying on the sofa asleep. Soohyun silently looked at his face and entered the room. As he hurriedly changed clothes, he remembered the prescribed medicine and rummaged through his bag.
“Did you go to the hospital okay?”
Seojun, who had approached without any sign, asked Soohyun.
“Yes, you came home early today.”
“Work changed a bit. So I just came back.”
Before living with Soohyun, Seojun usually left before 9 AM and on days without special schedules, would come home around 6 PM. But after Soohyun moved in, Seojun tried to come home as quickly as possible. He wanted to spend more time with him.
“What did they say at the hospital?”
At Seojun’s question, Soohyun hesitated. The reactions of people who learned about his illness were usually one of two things: pity or disgust. Those who pitied him doubted whether Soohyun could even work, and those who were disgusted subtly pointed fingers, saying wasn’t it a matter of mindset? Since Chaeho, Seojun was the first person to worry about him this much.
“I told them I… rode the bus a bit, and they said it was a good sign.”
“Really? That’s such a relief, Soohyun-ssi!”
Seojun grasped Soohyun’s hand firmly. His shoulders shook at the warmth of another person, warmer than he’d thought.
“Is there anything I can help with? Anything is fine.”
If it had been before, he might have asked him why he wanted to help him this much. But now it was a bit different. At least he could genuinely feel that his concern was sincere.
“I was… recommended to try riding in a car a bit.”
“A car?”
Soohyun nodded slightly. He had to ride in a car other than Chaeho’s. There was the option of a taxi, but using public transportation was still burdensome.
“I’ve never ridden in a car other than Chaeho’s. The doctor asked if I’d like to try riding in someone else’s car….”
“Then ride in my car. I’ll give you a ride.”
Before Soohyun’s words even finished, Seojun was very excited, his eyes crinkling.
“Choi Seojun-ssi.”
“Yes, Soohyun-ssi.”
There was no wavering in Seojun’s eyes. Soohyun looked at him while forcibly suppressing the mixed emotions of fear and anticipation, then turned his gaze toward the floor.
“Did I say something unnecessary…”
“No way. If there’s anything I can help with, I want to do anything.”
Were the feelings he had pity? Even though he’d heard his confession that he liked him, Soohyun couldn’t let down his guard against Choi Seojun. Because having the barely healed wound in his heart fester again was the most frightening thing for Soohyun.
“Why on earth….”
Soohyun muttered as if talking to himself.
“I’m not pitying you, Soohyun-ssi. It’s because I want to be with you. Soohyun-ssi…”
He hadn’t necessarily wanted to hear an answer, but Seojun recognized and responded to him.
“I want you to smile, Soohyun-ssi. I want to see you smiling again. That’s all. Isn’t that enough of a reason?”
Soohyun’s eyes rippled.
‘Soohyun, I love it so much when you smile. Just seeing you smile makes me forget all the hard things that happened today.’
His vision blurred. The voice of the person who had confessed their love for him until the very end echoed in his ears. To think there would be another person making the same expression, saying the same things as that person. He couldn’t believe it.
“Soohyun-ssi, are you okay?”
Soohyun lowered his head to soothe his stinging nose and eyes, but Seojun didn’t miss the moisture faintly welling up at the corners of his eyes.
“It’s okay. You’ll get better. I hope I can… be even a little bit of help.”
Soohyun remained silent. He just cried in Seojun’s arms for quite a long time, his shoulders heaving.
* * *
“Soohyun-ssi, are you ready?”
Seojun’s legs moved anxiously as he paced the living room. On the weekend when Soohyun wasn’t working, Seojun planned to go on a drive with him in the car. Though he had to think of it as being for Soohyun’s ‘treatment,’ Seojun’s heart leaped at the thought of going out with someone who made him extremely excited for the first time since becoming an actor.
“I’m a bit late. I’m sorry.”
“No! It’s fine!”
Soohyun’s outfit as he just came out of the room was very ordinary. A light pink shirt with no pattern at all, dark navy cotton pants, and a small bag in his hand.
“You look pretty, Soohyun-ssi.”
“Pardon?”
“Ah… never mind. Let’s go quickly.”
Soohyun tilted his head slightly and slowly followed behind him. The bag in his hand contained medicine for any possible situations.
Arriving at the underground parking lot, Seojun opened the passenger door and smiled brightly.
“Thank you.”
“Watch your head. The body is a bit low.”
Among the cars he owned, Seojun chose a relatively ordinary car that had good ride comfort and wouldn’t stand out much among other cars. Since it wasn’t a solo outing but going with Soohyun, it was partly to avoid reporters’ eyes and a kind of consideration for Soohyun, who might fear others’ gazes.
“Are you okay?”
As soon as Seojun got in the driver’s seat, he checked on Soohyun’s condition. With his head against the headrest, he had his eyes closed.
‘It’s okay. This car isn’t dangerous. Choi Seojun-ssi is someone who really worries about me.’
Soohyun slowly blinked his closed eyes.
“I think… I’m okay.”
“You don’t have to push yourself. We can just start slowly.”
Soohyun was very grateful for Seojun’s consideration. With his characteristic gentle smile, he softly held Soohyun’s hand. Soohyun looked at their clasped hands and slowly nodded his head.
“I think we can start. And if…”
“Yes. Speak comfortably, Soohyun-ssi.”
Soohyun hesitated before finally opening his mouth. For Seojun who was driving, it was something he had to say.
“If my breathing gets rapid or I show strange symptoms like last time.”
“I’ll stop right away. Don’t worry about things like that. I also…”
