# Chapter 99
Though it was clearly Junseo who was smiling beautifully like the intricate pattern on a butterfly’s wings, Dohyuk strangely felt like a butterfly caught in a spider’s web. To Dohyuk, who was staring blankly at his face, Junseo sweetly whispered.
“Actually, hyung has nothing to be sorry about. Getting an examination from another agency is indeed a security law violation, and I have no right to urge you to do it.”
Their locked gazes became intensely sensual. Instinctively trying to avoid Junseo by turning his head away due to the dangerous feeling, Dohyuk felt lips touch his cheek regardless. It felt as if he were being begged for a kiss, making Dohyuk’s entire face turn bright red.
“I’m just being childish and throwing a tantrum. Because I regret the four hours we spent being distant. Whenever I’m with you, I go crazy thinking how precious each moment is. Sixteen hours? That’s how long it feels to me.”
“Wai- wait! Wait a moment. We’re in a car right now…!”
After lightly rubbing his lips against Dohyuk’s slender jawline, Junseo slid his body downward. Feeling anxious, Dohyuk hurriedly reached out his hand, and Junseo let out a small sound. The gaze looking up at him coyly from below crushed Dohyuk’s insides.
“But you’ll indulge my tantrum, right? Because you’re my hyung.”
His hand swung through empty air. Lips that caught Dohyuk’s clothing traced a long arc.
Within minutes, Dohyuk, looking thoroughly exhausted, continuously ran his hands through his hair. Unable to face Junseo who had been explicitly close to him just moments ago as if nothing had happened, Dohyuk awkwardly glared only at the dashboard. With his face still flushed, he spoke in a voice as stiff as a newly enlisted soldier.
“I’m going to my own place today. It’s been empty for too long. I need to tidy up a bit.”
Despite Dohyuk’s embarrassment, Junseo, who had been wearing an expression of complete satisfaction, furrowed his brow at those words. Junseo’s expression instantly turned sulky, but Dohyuk failed to notice as he was still fixated on staring at the darkened dashboard.
“Was I not good?”
“What?”
When he asked again thinking he had misheard, the following words were even more chaotic.
“It was my first time with you, so even if I wasn’t good, you should be understanding, but instead you’re declaring you’re spending the night elsewhere?”
“…No, please. How on earth did saying I want to go home to tidy up turn into that?”
Dohyuk jumped up in shock, having been suddenly accused of being trash who made his innocent younger boyfriend do terrible things and then declared he was sleeping elsewhere because he wasn’t satisfied. Even though they were alone in the car, he was afraid someone might hear. Ignoring the pale-faced Dohyuk, Junseo emphasized firmly. His tone was resolute, a stark contrast to his usually docile expression.
“You’re not denying you won’t be staying out. Anyway, you can’t spend the night elsewhere. Even in marital fights, they say you should never allow separate rooms or sleeping apart.”
“Who on earth would say such absur…”
“It’s my mother’s principle.”
“…I was going to say, what a wise saying, but no… that’s not the point! We’re not fighting, and we’re not married.”
“What?”
“Huh? You’re absolutely not… well, not exactly… Ah, this is driving me crazy. I just meant I’ve left my home empty for too long…”
The more he fumbled for excuses, the more embarrassed he became, and Dohyuk’s voice gradually shrank. In contrast, Junseo, who had been doing shameless things just minutes ago, was incredibly confident.
“No. I understand that, but hyung, after saying you like me, were you planning to marry someone else?”
Having encountered such shocking declarations one after another—enough to make him spit out juice five times if this were a drama—Dohyuk was on the verge of becoming dazed. Wasn’t Junseo angry before? Dohyuk was confused.
“What?”
“You need to marry me too. Engaged couples are still couples, after all.”
“…Junseo. Calm down. By that logic, installment payments are also money.”
He couldn’t understand what the fuss was about when he had only said he wanted to briefly go to his home just a few floors below. His head was spinning.
“I am always calm.”
“It’s even scarier that you’re not joking. Why suddenly talk about marriage? You haven’t even properly answered…”
Though it seemed no different from playing peek-a-boo when they were already familiar with each other’s body heat, Dohyuk felt compelled to bring up that fact.
“But I don’t want to be called your boyfriend. It sounds too casual.”
“What?”
“Doesn’t ‘married couple’ sound more serious and better?”
“…It’s too sudden.”
He didn’t even know where things had gone wrong. He only hoped for one small corner of his heart. It was like offering a single flower to appease someone, only to be handed an entire mountainside in return.
As Dohyuk was trying to collect his confused emotions while rubbing his face with both hands, Junseo narrowed his eyes and smiled at him. In the past, he’d clearly thought it was a smile like cherry blossoms blooming in spring, but now he didn’t understand why the same expression looked as cold as frost.
“But if I don’t go this far, you won’t trust me.”
A voice devoid of any humor resonated through the car body as if he had never been playful. Dohyuk opened his mouth, then closed it again. The faint sound of breathing created in that moment sank beyond. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, but that I don’t trust myself,” he wanted to retort. “It’s not you who’s the problem, but me.” But lacking the courage to face those cool eyes, he merely kept his mouth shut and rolled his eyes.
“……”
“You said you like me. To me, that feels like a line you’ve drawn. A line saying let’s be satisfied with this much. Am I mistaken?”
As if urging Dohyuk, moisture welled up in Junseo’s voice. Startled, Dohyuk raised his head.
“Junseo.”
Only then could Junseo clearly gaze at his own face perfectly reflected in the depths of those dark-colored eyes.
Using that reflection as a mirror, Junseo moistened his lips with his tongue and trembled his mouth like someone nervous. The man, transformed into an astonishingly fragile impression, captured Dohyuk’s gaze like a rain-soaked bird. Suddenly drained of strength, Dohyuk’s firm hands were entwined by Junseo’s as he mumbled in a weak voice.
“So I keep withholding the obvious answer too. I’m afraid that once you hear my answer, you’ll be satisfied and run away.”
At some point, another hand approached from a different direction. White fingers caressed Dohyuk’s ear before rubbing the auricle. The lingering body temperature that traced him was lukewarm. When the thumb touched his earlobe, Dohyuk’s shoulders shook slightly. Those eyes, round without any edges and appearing only gentle, consumed Dohyuk like the universe.
“Don’t play with me.”
I behave well, you know. And I’m pretty. So stop tormenting me. The voice crossing the interior of the car with its engine off was incomparably docile. Dohyuk was captivated by the gaze facing him and couldn’t move an inch.
“…Don’t say such nonsense. How, how could I play with you.”
“Then why am I not in your future? What’s the reason you won’t give me even an inch while knowing what I want?”
The voice that pressed on without respite was, ridiculously, drained of energy, so Dohyuk finally had no choice but to spill his true feelings. A low sigh poured out like gasping.
“You already know, don’t you? That my future is useless. Even headquarters is trying to discard me, so what should I do when you keep asking for such things? Stop playing with me. It’s driving me crazy.”
And Dohyuk doubted his eyes. Because the fragile face that had seemed on the verge of collapse just a moment ago had transformed in an instant.
“Did you speak with Esper Seo Jaesik by any chance?”
“……!”
Junseo tilted his head with his eyebrows slightly furrowed. The voice that had been full of moisture had somehow returned to its usual gentle tone.
“Esper Seo Jaesik has a cheaper mouth than I expected. How much did he tell you?”
“You were just pretending to be pitiful…?”
Junseo interrupted Dohyuk’s words.
“I am pitiful. You doubt me without even knowing what I think of doing for you. You don’t trust me.”
“What are you thinking of doing? Please don’t do anything dangerous.”
Junseo broke into a bright smile completely inappropriate for this deeply subdued situation. Coloring his snow-white cheeks peach-like, he smiled fully and then asked like a child who had received a gift.
“Are you worried about me?”
At that question, Dohyuk finally burst out emotionally.
His thoughts were the same every day. Though they might be mere trinkets to Junseo, he wanted to pick out all the things he had that were somewhat valuable and good-looking and pour them all on him. Even if a day came later when he became the worst thing in Junseo’s life, he didn’t want to remain a completely worthless person.
Yet without understanding such feelings, Junseo merely asked if he was worried?
“Worried? How could I not be worried? You’re the only Guide with a high matching rate with an Esper that headquarters is hostile to! If they want to eliminate an Esper, it’s only natural they’d target the Guide first. Why do you keep doing dangerous things for someone like me?”
Dohyuk already considered himself acting selfishly enough. He was hiding a body that could go berserk at any moment, pretending to be normal, confessing his feelings, and begging for affection. He had constantly told himself he could be satisfied just with this moment—conveying his feelings to Junseo and receiving his kind gaze.
But why does he keep…
“I like you, hyung.”
…poking at people?
Was it because of the dampness in the underground? Those eyes that he had always thought were gleaming like sun-dried pebbles, polished and shiny, now held a different shade than usual. The eye lines, devoid of laughter, traced the usual languid curves.
If the forbidden fruit took human form, it would surely have a face like that. Looking prettily at people who open their mouths as if entranced.
“I like you very, very much.”
