Looking at how he acted at the center, he had a tendency to completely ignore age and strictly rank people based on ability and position, yet with him, he acted like he was dying to make him call him hyung.
And that was while offering him items from a brand where even the cheapest model easily exceeded several million won.
“If you give me things like this while saying that, what does that make me?”
“No, this is just…”
“Since we’re on the topic, don’t give me things like this anymore. Just deposit my salary. Who gives settlement money every time they feel sorry in the first place?”
If he’d had any intention of receiving settlement money, he would have sued everyone at the center who called him by that nickname from the start. People have at least a minimum level of conscience.
Yoon Kihyun sometimes couldn’t shake the feeling that he was blatantly extorting from Jung Sijun alone. Until now, he’d tried to look away, wanting to escape from the financial crisis that had descended upon him, but he could no longer ignore it.
At this point, he was gradually starting to feel like it was natural to receive big and small things from Jung Sijun, which also made him feel rather queasy.
“I have money rotting away and a hobby of giving gifts like this though?”
“Give them to someone else then.”
“Why would I give this to some other bastard? Am I crazy?”
“You know what you just said ten seconds ago doesn’t match up, right?”
“Ah! I don’t know, just accept it until today. I only heard you tell me not to give you things today, so I can apply that starting tomorrow, can’t I?”
Jung Sijun stubbornly shoved the paper bag placed on the table into Yoon Kihyun’s hands.
At the heavy weight, Yoon Kihyun felt like his light breakfast might come back up. If he accepted this, wouldn’t it be a situation where he’d have to condone Jung Sijun calling him hyung?
“You know, think of it as personal guide benefits. The sincerity of asking you to continue being my guide, not those bastards constantly making scout offers, oh! That’s good.”
At the face grinning brightly, seemingly pleased with the rambling comment he’d come up with on the spot, even the energy to openly get angry disappeared. For someone like Jung Sijun who had lived saying whatever he wanted, threatening him arbitrarily wasn’t the answer.
“I appreciate you thinking of me, but…”
Yoon Kihyun deliberately cut off his words midway, slowly patted Jung Sijun’s hand holding the paper bag, and smiled faintly.
“I clearly told you I don’t want to accept this.”
It was a smile that came from a very friendly and considerate heart telling him to stop this bullshit. Whether he understood that intention or not, Jung Sijun’s nicely tanned skin turned completely red.
‘No, this bastard…’
Yoon Kihyun deliberately pretended not to notice Jung Sijun’s blatant and explicit change.
He’d known since they met again that there were subtle signs. The kind of signs where it wouldn’t be strange if Jung Sijun blatantly showed his attraction to him at any time.
However, he had no intention of asking Jung Sijun if he liked him. Not only was there no reason to ask, but he knew that the moment he asked would be the end.
That guy, whose outside and inside were exactly the same, would confess as if he’d been waiting for it the moment the question ended, and if that happened, it would be troublesome. In many, many ways.
“How much could something like this even cost…”
“Yes. Whether this is a big deal or not to Team Leader Jung, I won’t accept it.”
“You know you’re really stubborn, right?”
Perhaps thinking his sincerity was being ignored, his tone became strangely sharp. Whether Jung Sijun’s mood was twisted or not, Yoon Kihyun’s attitude remained unchanged.
“I don’t like mixing business with personal friendship.”
“Ah, fine. It was only me who wanted to get close to Yoon Kihyun-ssi.”
Jung Sijun, who had been fiddling with the paper bag as if still reluctant to let it go, let out a big sigh and then swept away the watch box. He needed him to accept the gift to have an excuse to call him hyung, but since he said he wouldn’t accept it, it seemed he didn’t intend to brazenly change how he addressed him either.
“Yoon Kihyun-ssi, I’ll just say one thing.”
“You can say two things.”
“Wow. I should just stop talking. Yoon Kihyun-ssi, you’re really too rigid as a person. Do you know that?”
What he thought would be some comment turned out to be a stale criticism. Yoon Kihyun nodded.
“I hear that a lot.”
“Ah, yes. Of course you would.”
Jung Sijun pursed his lips and then grimaced at the loud notification sound. After checking his phone, he let out a long sigh.
“Ugh, I’ll go take care of this first.”
Scratching the back of his head roughly, he ran out of the guiding room, leaving behind words to eat lunch first as it seemed to be a more difficult rank than expected.
‘So he’s not taking that watch with him?’
Yoon Kihyun looked at the watch sitting alone on the table and closed the box lid. The watch Jung Sijun had bought was a model Yoon Kihyun was quite familiar with.
‘Saying over thirteen hundred isn’t much…’
More than just familiar. He’d actually tried to purchase it.
Back when he’d resolved to die and was squandering his salary and severance pay, he’d frequented the luxury boutiques at department stores for clumsy overspending, but Yoon Kihyun ultimately couldn’t buy that watch. It was because they originally sold it in a selective manner to limited buyers.
Building a friendship with Jung Sijun, who could visit luxury stores that only sold to selected customers and buy whatever he liked whenever he wanted, was definitely beneficial when considering just the financial aspect.
He was even confident that if he used Jung Sijun’s desire to get close to him well, he could quickly pay off his loans and debts.
Except he didn’t do that because he knew Jung Sijun’s desire to get close to him didn’t stem from friendship.
No matter how desperate for money he was and how determined he was to do anything, there was still a minimum psychological line he had to maintain.
Jung Sijun already had a tendency to believe money could solve anything. Receiving money or gifts in exchange for friendship from such a guy felt awkward.
‘I roughly understand how Yoon Kihyun-ssi sees me, but I never thought about constantly calling out someone who’s sick and laying them down to fuck them. I just need Team Leader Yoon who guides me when I need it. I’m not talking about sponsoring you.’
He’d looked serious when saying it wasn’t about sponsoring, but his actual actions were no different from sponsoring.
‘I agreed to guide Jung Sijun, not to sell my body.’
To bring something like this and ask to be hyung and dongsaeng. If he’d agreed to that here, it was obvious what the next form of address he’d want to use would be.
‘I’m busy trying to fix my body, what goddamn romance. And with Jung Sijun at that. Unless I’m crazy, does that make sense?’
Yoon Kihyun pressed his temples at the throbbing headache and got up from the sofa. After taking medicine and changing to a position with his back to the table where the watch was placed, he felt like breathing became a little easier.
‘The results… they’ll be okay, right?’
When he forced himself to think about something else, naturally the test results coming out next week came to mind.
Until he went to sleep, he’d been having various thoughts trying not to be discouraged even if the results came out bad.
The greater the expectations, the greater the disappointment. Perhaps he was having such dreams because he was overthinking to the point of being able to calmly accept the results even if they showed he only had a few months of life left.
But he absolutely couldn’t shake the thought that those strange dreams seemed to hint at his ominous future.
‘…I can get better, right? This thing.’
Places he’d never even felt before sometimes hurt, and sometimes breathing was difficult. But it got better with time.
Whether it actually got better or he just got used to it was unclear, but at least he could go to work. However, as such days continued to pile up, being tired was inevitable.
‘I’m not going to dream of my urn appearing next to Dad’s urn, am I? Fuck.’
Since his body was sick, he must be having dreams related to death. In fact, from the beginning, he’d only thought about dying.
He tried somehow to forget the ominous dream content, but in the end, he thought about it again. Yoon Kihyun let out a long sigh and slowly closed his eyes. Even his dry eyes throbbed and caused trouble.
The terrible pain that started behind his eyeballs and climbed up to the crown of his head was always eerie no matter when he felt it. It was scary enough to wonder if his eyeballs might burst.
‘But it gets better after a while…’
How much time had passed with his eyes quietly closed? As the medicine started to take effect, drowsiness gradually washed over him.
Until he fell asleep, Yoon Kihyun thought of his father’s pure white and plain urn.
There had been various options like vacuum compression or something…
In the end, because he had no money, he tried to choose the cheapest one but picked one that was tens of thousands of won more expensive. Though all it had was a slightly added design, it was the best choice Yoon Kihyun could make at the time.
When he just looked at the image in the catalog, he thought it was okay. But when he saw his father’s urn placed among the urns lined up in a row, it looked so shabby.
‘I’m tired.’
Why exactly did that urn appear in his dreams?
Sometimes it felt like his father in that cheap urn was scolding him in his dreams. Ridiculously enough.
