“Hae, Haesu-ya….”
I still can’t forget the moment I saw Jang Haesu flailing at the end of the valley submerged in darkness.
The anxiety and fear that came rushing in. The faces of my mom who went to the other world from illness and my dad who left home as if running away consumed my vision.
Instead of me, who had frozen without being able to take any action, a boy my age who was nearby stepped forward, and fortunately Jang Haesu was able to preserve her life. If we had delayed just a little longer, she would have ended her life by drowning.
“Get your shit together. Do you have anything left besides her? Do you have any blood relatives besides her?”
I got punched a few times by the guy who saved Jang Haesu. It was the pastor’s youngest son, who cursed at me calling me an empty-headed delinquent bastard.
Normally I would have talked back telling him to stop running his mouth, but in that moment his advice seemed to be carved deep into my bones.
All I had left, someone who only knew how to leech off others, was really just Jang Haesu.
Jang Haesu, who unlike me was clever and sharp from a young age. I couldn’t dare let go of such a Jang Haesu.
Helping my only blood relative live a normal life. That was my only reason for existing.
“Never again… I’ll never let go again. Oppa is sorry, Haesu-ya.”
It was for that reason that I dedicated my entire life to Jang Haesu. The guilt of having watched my sibling at the crossroads between life and death bound me for a lifetime.
Perhaps that’s why I had no choice but to rush desperately toward Baek Sahyun who had fallen into the water.
I stretched my body toward where the shadows were clustered together and snatched up his body. He was considerably heavy, like waterlogged cotton.
“Hey. Get, get it together. You bastard. Don’t play around.”
I laid the body I pulled out onto the tile floor and kept tapping his cheeks.
Seeing Baek Sahyun lying with a pale appearance like a corpse laid out in a mortuary, cold sweat flowed down my entire body. It didn’t make sense for him to lose consciousness in this short time, but there was no time for my head to work.
I brought my ear close to Baek Sahyun’s nose bridge. When his breathing seemed to have stopped, my heart pounded. I urgently grabbed his nose. I could only think that I had to give him artificial respiration.
Until I saw his two eyes half-open.
“Heejae can’t take advantage of an opportunity even when given one.”
Baek Sahyun, who had been passed out just moments ago, was already bursting into mischievous laughter. As if my dumbfounded face with my mouth hanging open was hilarious, he even spat out the water he’d been holding while laughing.
Crazy bastard. It was really a prank?
My mouth was full of curses but I didn’t have the energy to spit them out. Had I consumed too much mental energy? I didn’t even have the strength left to retort.
When I collapsed onto the tile floor exhausted, Baek Sahyun finally looked at me cautiously.
“Were you worried?”
“Just shut up.”
Of course I was the one who caused it. If I hadn’t pushed him, this pathetic happening wouldn’t have occurred. But my mind and body engulfed in shock wouldn’t calm down easily.
Having returned to that day when I almost lost my younger sister in just a few seconds, I remained frozen for a long time with my hands on the tile floor, trying to calm my jumping breath. Even so, there was no sign of improvement.
“Heejae-ya.”
“Huk…”
My uncontrolled breathing went in and out of my mouth and nose incoherently. My vision spun and flickered, and nausea boiled up from inside.
While I was blinking repeatedly and struggling with hyperventilation, a large hand covered my mouth and nose.
“Breathe in slowly. Until it feels tight.”
“Ugh…”
“Look at me.”
After leaning my upper body against him, Baek Sahyun gave me signals and slowly calmed my breathing. As my blurred vision gradually became clear, his figure looking down at my condition indifferently appeared.
To not be flustered even by a situation that came without warning and to give emergency treatment…, and his skill felt quite practiced too. As if he had frequently dealt with hyperventilating patients.
When my breathing found its normal track, I tapped the hand gripping my mouth and nose. After being released from restraint, I immediately got up from my spot and walked toward the sun bed.
My insides churned as if I would get motion sickness, but I didn’t care.
“Your face has turned white.”
Baek Sahyun grabbed my shoulder from behind and turned me around. Only then did I realize I had been staggering ungracefully.
I barely blinked my eyes while leaning my body against him. I wanted to react nimbly but my mind couldn’t keep up.
“Should I not play pranks like this anymore, Heejae-ya?”
“……”
“Instead of pranks like this, should I do only what you like?”
Baek Sahyun ran his hand through my hair once.
When I immediately shook my head in displeasure, he smiled faintly.
“Looks like you have the strength left to refuse.”
It seemed he wanted to check if my reaction speed had returned. I scratched my head in embarrassment and avoided his gaze.
“Are you the type who doesn’t do something when told not to?”
“I could be. I’m getting a bit tired of seeing you have seizures now.”
“…You liked it though? Like a pervert.”
When I shot back in disbelief, Baek Sahyun answered quite seriously.
“I did like it because it was funny…, but. Just now I didn’t like it.”
“Why?”
“Because it seems like I did something wrong.”
I wasn’t sure, but seeing how he spoke so definitively as if he really disliked it, it seemed sincere.
So, the pain he creates is fun but he can’t stand seeing me foam at the mouth for no reason? I was completely fed up with the selfish thinking, but it was a very Baek Sahyun-like way of thinking.
Rather than probing with ambiguous words, it’s better if he blatantly shows his true colors like this. With an emotion I couldn’t tell was emptiness or satisfaction, I let out a hollow laugh.
Baek Sahyun suddenly asked:
“Still, should I apologize? To make you feel better.”
“No, well… it’s fine. I was wrong for making you fall in. I’m the one who’s sorry.”
I took a step back.
Though the guy who thought to mess with someone the moment they fell in the water was despicable, objectively speaking it wasn’t such a vicious act. It was a flimsy enough prank that you could notice with just a little thought.
Rather, the culprit could be said to be on my side for not keeping my wits together and being engulfed in trauma.
Honestly, it was also embarrassing that I suddenly had hyperventilation. I was somewhat ashamed that I’d startled myself and had a seizure.
When I sighed in distress, Baek Sahyun looked at that sight with interest, then soon opened his mouth.
“No. The one who fell was at fault too. If you can’t hold your liquor, you should stay back nicely, so why were you standing near the water like an idiot?”
“……”
“Will this make you feel better if I say it like this?”
I thought it would be another ridiculous statement, but this was a slightly funny remark. A strangely high-handed consolation of ‘I’ll accommodate you so cheer up appropriately.’
Well, just the fact that Baek Sahyun showed this much tolerance to a male bastard who was rolling his eyes back and trembling meant I was receiving special treatment.
“Hey.”
“Yeah, Heejae-ya.”
“If you really want to accommodate me, pour me a drink.”
I lightly tapped his shoulder. It was quite a provocative remark, but strangely I was certain he wouldn’t get angry.
“No problem.”
Baek Sahyun, who readily responded to my provocation, took out a bottle of liquor from the ice box. It was whiskey with an exterior that looked luxurious at first glance, with a deer pattern engraved on it. I somehow felt burdened.
“Don’t you have soju or makgeolli? I was just saying let’s have a light drink.”
Though I’m said to drink anything without discrimination, this kind of expensive liquor didn’t seem to fit the situation. We weren’t close enough to share whiskey harmoniously, were we?
I just wanted cheap intoxication to soothe my unsettled mind. Of course, it would be even better if he just threw me the alcohol and left.
“Your taste has gotten picky. It feels like just yesterday you were guzzling whiskey.”
“Nam Heejae did? Ah, no. I did? No. Nam Heejae did? Fuck, who should I refer to as…”
“You don’t know how much trouble I had trying to stop you. Even when I hid it on the ceiling, you’d sniff it out like a rat.”
“Sniff it out and?”
“You drank all night long.”
“What was the reason for drinking like that?”
“You’re not even an alcoholic. You drank recklessly like someone who wanted to go into shock.”
As expected, Baek Sahyun didn’t listen to my opinion and muttered to himself. Was he recalling the villa incident from a year ago? His face, which somehow seemed steeped in sentimentality, was very uncomfortable.
And about Nam Heejae. How painful must he have been to drink alcohol so shamelessly?
Since he couldn’t do it with a clear mind, he must have tried to escape Baek Sahyun’s pressure by borrowing intoxication. Thinking like this, I got goosebumps for no reason.
“Complete.”
While I was lost in thought, Baek Sahyun had already finished mixing the drink. A cocktail with an orange hue made by mixing whiskey, syrup, and fruit juice was thrust before my eyes.
“Drink, Heejae-ya.”
Seeing Baek Sahyun smiling brightly while offering the cocktail, I felt deep regret. Ah. This is going that way again. I shouldn’t have left this bastard with alcohol.
My judgment had been disturbed by temporary trauma, and I had completely forgotten we were in a bet. With Baek Sahyun, it wouldn’t be strange if he’d put drugs like sleeping pills in this cocktail.
“What are you doing not drinking?”
He subtly urged. I want to honestly say I’m scared you might have done something fishy…, but if I do that, I might get my hair grabbed regardless of the bet or anything.
