When Bernard completely entrusted his entire body in the bathtub, Rhino was actually a little happy. He liked the weight he could feel completely in his arms, and he also felt disgusted with himself for that.
The bath didn’t take long. He wiped down the body that had relaxed drowsily in the warm water with a towel and even dressed him in new clothes. When he tried to dry his wet hair with a hairdryer, Bernard fidgeted saying he could do it himself, but Rhino didn’t even pretend to listen.
“And remember. You’re not pathetic. You didn’t do anything wrong either. No matter what anyone says, you’re the victim. So you can resent others more. You need to know how to resent.”
“You don’t know.”
“What?”
“I’m not a victim.”
Did he say something wrong? Bernard only smiled bitterly. After drying his hair, Bernard met eyes with Rhino who was crouching in front of him looking up. His stomach felt acidic. It was a hell he brought upon himself, a situation he himself made tangled, so how could he call himself a victim? However, even to Rhino it was difficult to be completely honest, so he just kept his mouth tightly shut.
“I’m sorry for making you worry. And thanks for helping me……”
Apologizing was always easy. Bernard had no pride to put forward, and no self-esteem to stubbornly cling to in vain. Could he even fully express this gratitude to him who had immediately driven over in the middle of that dawn? Bernard newly realized he had received a lot of help from him. It seemed like he had only received since their school days. He felt even more shabby.
“……I’m hungry. Let’s eat something.”
“Is that all you have to say after coming to my place for the first time in a while?”
Complaints followed the topic change that was transparent as glass. Bernard smiled ambiguously, finding it difficult to answer. The time he had stopped by his house already felt like the distant past. Too much had happened in between, so all the good memories felt like they were all from long ago.
“…I missed you too.”
The day before, after the phone call ended like that in the car, Bernard had also secretly worried about Rhino. Worries like, what if Rubens was doing something, what if something bad happened to him too. It was a reasonable suspicion since Rubens’s expression when he snatched away the phone had been excessively murderous.
Even after being told it was completely over, if something happened to Rhino who had run out barefoot and tied his shoelaces, he himself would…… he had made terrible assumptions. So what face did he have to go see Rhino? Even if he was worried, he tried hard to keep his distance, but he didn’t have the confidence to push him away again when he came rushing in like this.
That’s why those words came out. But Rhino’s face, hearing those words, turned bright red. Bernard watched with a blank face as he abruptly stood up and briskly walked out first. His earlobes and even the nape of his neck turned bright red…….
“Rhino?”
“……I’ll quickly prepare something easy to eat.”
A loud voice came from outside the room. A coughing sound was heard as if he had choked, but words followed saying he was fine so don’t worry. Bernard sat on the bed just watching beyond the door in bewilderment. Belatedly, Bernard’s face turned bright red. It was because he realized how his words must have come across to him.
A groaning sound leaked out on its own. Lightly slapping both his cheeks, Bernard tried hard to drive away the thoughts, but the belated embarrassment that came chasing showed no signs of subsiding.
It was quite a while after saying “quickly” that Rhino called Bernard. For someone with an awkward face saying what was in the refrigerator wasn’t suitable, the dish he prepared was quite decent beyond expectations. Tomato stew boiled with finely torn chicken, salad with pineapple dressing, and a cup of apple juice placed beside it.
“Does it suit your taste?”
“When did you learn to cook this well?”
“Of course……”
“Of course?”
Just once before, Rhino had treated him to cooking. He had kind of expected it, but the dish that actually came out was at a level where even Bernard couldn’t manage his expression. Whether he had mistakenly added salt and sugar, the salty and sweet tastes being mixed up messily was a problem, and among them there was something half-cooked, so they had no choice but to give up on the meal midway.
Watching him with a red face apologizing and picking up the car keys saying let’s go out and buy food, Bernard had thought that even Rhino had at least one thing he couldn’t do.
Come to think of it, Rhino had been particularly outstanding in sports, but he had never heard about cooking. But now this dish tasted decent beyond what he had braced himself for, so Bernard was actually wondering if this wasn’t a dish the housekeeper had prepared in advance that he just warmed up.
“I learned from the housekeeper.”
The moment Rhino spoke, his tone went off-key with a creak. When suspicious eyes were cast, he had an awkward expression. Fiddling with his nape for a while clearing his throat and choosing his words, unable to bear it anymore he finally brought out the words he had hidden.
“I learned because I wanted to make it for you.”
Rhino’s face turned bright red again. Bernard’s face, sitting across from that face, also turned rosy along with it. A long silence fell heavily. While both were crushed by awkwardness and couldn’t easily bring out words, Bernard’s spoon made a clattering sound.
“……It’s delicious.”
“Really? You’re not just saying that?”
“It’s true though.”
Perhaps it had been quite shocking when Bernard put down his utensils with an apologetic face before, as Rhino had a disbelieving expression. Seeing him carefully examine Bernard’s face, it seemed he had been that unconfident.
At the appearance that seemed completely uncertain, a faint laugh leaked from between Bernard’s lips. He tried to hold it in, but once the laughter leaked it couldn’t stop and ended up bursting out. At Bernard’s face laughing with even his shoulders shaking, Rhino’s face frowned as if displeased, but soon he let out a short sigh as if he couldn’t help it. Bernard said.
“I’m not lying. Anyone would say it’s delicious. When you’re picky about your own taste too. You must have thought it was delicious while tasting it yourself.”
“I won’t have occasion to hear from other people anyway.”
“Why wouldn’t you?”
“Well… you’re the only person I’d go to these lengths to take care of.”
Rhino made a sullen voice while stirring the stew in front of him with his spoon. But because he knew it was an expression of embarrassment, Bernard was unbothered. Rhino wasn’t making eye contact and was only concentrating on fidgeting with his hands. More precisely, it was closer to not being able to raise his head.
“Let’s talk about something else……”
It was Bernard’s timid protest. At the mumbling voice, Rhino shrugged his shoulders as a substitute for an answer. Whether that was affirmation or denial was ambiguous, but he obediently changed the topic.
“I’m preparing to take over the business. It seems they want to put me in charge of the advertising industry among the affiliates first.”
“Advertising?”
“Well…… for now it’s like, try being a parachute appointment.”
“It’s not a field you were interested in though.”
“After looking at me a bit, they said the construction side is a core affiliate so it can’t be done right away.”
The point was that he didn’t particularly care what he did. As he had no will to take over the business to begin with, Rhino’s expression as he brought it up was not pleased.
“They said to make use of my face.”
It must mean to go to business meetings and somehow use his face to coax and make the atmosphere good. To put it nicely, it meant he had talent in slipping by with smooth talk and greasing situations with his handsome face, and to put it badly, it also meant that’s about all they were entrusting to him.
Although he had majored in business administration at university, his father was greatly pleased since he had finally said he would take over the business after refusing with disgust every time. However, he couldn’t get a sense of how much more tedious work he would have to devote himself to from now on. It was something Rhino greatly disliked, but now it couldn’t be helped.
All of that was because of the person sitting in front of him. Originally, Rhino had planned to live a life of extravagance while squandering the wealth laid out before him. Money overflowed to the point where he didn’t need to worry, and he thought that management could be done by putting forward a professional agent if necessary.
However, after Rubens became involved in the relationship, Rhino reconsidered power once more. He knew all too well how social standing and wealthy assets could captivate people, but after having the one he liked snatched away right before his eyes, his thoughts flowed more in that direction.
He knew. Obtaining these things wouldn’t become a reason for Bernard to fall for him. He also knew that Bernard didn’t like Rubens for such reasons. However, the assumption of ‘if I had been a bit more……’ endlessly made his insides boil. That’s why he did it. He had to do something.
“That’s good. Still, your parents must have been happy.”
As he stared at the face smiling kindly, Bernard’s smile gradually diminished. At Bernard’s action of touching his cheek and asking if there was something on his face, he felt like pulling some shoddy trick. He thought about casually smiling and touching his perfectly fine mouth corners saying he was slovenly, but he didn’t actually do it.
“Because you’re pretty.”
“……”
“Nothing to say?”
At the rather shameless question, Bernard covered his mouth corners and didn’t know what to do, which was a problem because it only looked cute again to Rhino. Even Rhino himself thought he had fallen hard for Bernard. If other friends heard, they might ask if he was crazy. He himself had actually stuck his head in his university locker thinking he had really gone crazy when he became aware of his feelings. Bernard, who had been mumbling, brought out words with difficulty.
“…I don’t think I’m your type.”
“Now you’re even criticizing?”
When Rhino retorted languidly with his chin propped, Bernard seemed to want to make some excuse. However, his mouth closed tightly as if he knew he’d get tangled up if he said anything.
“But.”
“Eat more.”
When Rhino pushed over the salad bowl, Bernard picked at the salad with his fork. He seemed to have no appetite, but he intended not to let him go until he emptied the whole bowl. If he was going around not eating properly and had thinned down this much, if he couldn’t even finish this much, it was obvious he’d continue going around with only skin left in the future. The bite marks remaining on his nape caught his eye, but Rhino deliberately pretended not to notice and smiled slightly.
When Bernard lowered his head, his thick bangs poured down. If he just tidied up that hair and corrected his hunched shoulders and posture, Bernard would surely get very different reviews than before. He had to do something about the nerdy glasses too. He wasn’t wearing them now, whether he had lost them, but since he seemed to have no discomfort, it seemed his eyes weren’t originally bad. But Rhino only swallowed the words he wanted to say inside. Come to think of it, this state might be better after all.
‘People who make use of their face value originally have flies swarming around them. What if someone else notices that face?’
He quietly filed away such scheming thoughts to himself.
“Still, it seems to be quite an important position so I’ll be given quite a bit of decision-making authority…… We’ll have to wait and see.”
“I hope you do even better.”
“Why?”
Rhino’s eyes with his chin propped sparkled. When their eyes met, Bernard somehow felt an inexplicable embarrassment. His throat was parched so he emptied half a cup of juice in one go, but it didn’t help.
“……It’s good when a friend does well.”
The answer he spat out after a long while was only that much.
“Friend.”
“……”
“That’s good too.”
Rhino, who muttered as if chewing on the words, smiled subtly. Bernard suddenly thought that smile resembled Rubens a little. The face of the upper class, difficult to describe. The face of a very unfamiliar world.
“But Bernard. I confessed to you, didn’t I?”
Rhino’s voice was even. It was as if he was talking about something completely insignificant, so Bernard only blinked blankly. His face was casual, but the words he was about to recite were definitely not such ordinary things.
“So. Keep in mind that we can now become more than friends at any time.”
As if he had never blushed, Rhino whispered sweetly. For a moment, Bernard felt like he was a stranger he didn’t know. Feeling dazed by the seductively curved eye smile, he only tightly gripped the fork in his hand. He just felt like he should. It was a ticklish feeling rising up, but it was also uncomfortable.
“Though not as much as Rubens Hurt……”
His mouth corners smoothly rose. Smiling brightly, he seemed just like he was trying to captivate Bernard.
“Rhino McPherson isn’t too bad either.”
“…What are you trying to say?”
“Just.”
It was a bland answer. Rhino, who added “That’s all,” stood up from his seat saying he’d get water. The subtle tension broke. Watching his back as he poured water from the dispenser, Bernard fumbled with his face. It was to check whether he wasn’t making a foolish expression.
“Here. You seemed thirsty.”
The water glass set down while pushing the juice aside was cold. Even as he said thanks and received it to wet his throat, he felt an uncomfortable feeling as if something inside was tightly blocked. Idle thoughts raised their heads. Like whether he had given some cause for him taking over the business…… But dismissing it as an idle thought, Bernard let the thought flow away once more.
But Rhino, who he thought would return to sit across from him, was still standing beside him looking down at Bernard. When he timidly raised his gaze, Rhino’s head lowered slightly. A faint shadow fell over Bernard.
Rhino’s face, pressing one hand on the back of the chair Bernard was sitting in and the other hand on the dining table, came closer. Meeting his gaze right in front, he had a face not much different from before, but Bernard somehow wanted to pull his body back. Reflexively, his thighs flinched before tightening. His toes curled inward turning white.
“So. Whenever you have any concerns, you won’t regret choosing me.”
“……For example?”
It was a careful question. He vaguely seemed to know what he was talking about, but it was a pitiful effort to deliberately disturb this atmosphere.
“Many things.”
Rhino, who said that far, smiled smoothly. Now it was Rhino’s face that Bernard knew well. Just as he was about to feel relieved, lips suddenly touched his cheek. Grabbing the shoulders of Bernard who was startled and floundering at the brief warmth, Rhino whispered.
“And you have to empty your bowl before I’ll send you home.”
At the sudden sentence, a sense of betrayal spread across Bernard’s face. However, Rhino’s expression standing firm was resolute. In the end, the one who gave up was Bernard. Even at the long successive sighs, Rhino smiled prettily.
