At the unexpected words, Yumyeong stared at him. Hakyoung also gazed into his eyes for a moment.
It was a soft atmosphere, but Yumyeong, who was weak to this kind of mood, was frozen stiff with goosebumps all over his body from the unbearably ticklish feeling.
After a while, Yumyeong barely managed to let out a short response.
“Bleh.”
At that moment, anger shot through Hakyoung and he threw his wooden chopsticks at Yumyeong.
“Aaargh!”
Yumyeong, whose white shirt got splashed with ramen broth, screamed and jumped up from his seat. He charged forward to get ramen broth on Hakyoung’s clothes in return, and Hakyoung used a folding chair as a shield to block him. The two who were scuffling only stopped fighting after receiving a complaint about the noise from the room next to the lounge.
***
The four initial members of the astronomy club that Hakyoung had gathered had their first meeting after class one day.
The four pushed two desks together and sat in a circle facing each other.
First, Hanju, sitting right to Hakyoung’s right, had brought a book called ‘Introduction to Astronomy.’ His eyes were already shining with passion for learning.
“My mom said astronomy is based on math and physics. This club will help me in many ways!”
Next, Sunmin was sitting beside Hanju.
“I think it’s really great that we can get a club room. It’s separate from the study hall too…”
He, who needed an isolated space where he could avoid people’s eyes, was secretly looking forward to this point.
And the last person to join the astronomy club was a very unexpected figure. Even Hanju and Sunmin hadn’t expected this friend to join, so they were quite surprised when they first met face to face.
“I withdrew from the broadcasting club a while ago, so I had nowhere to go. I was so grateful that Hakyoung offered first.”
It was none other than Song Heeun.
Heeun, who became the only female student among the four astronomy club members, was famous for having rejected Yumyeong at the beginning of the semester. Unlike the two who were very conscious of this fact, Hakyoung seemed unbothered.
Hakyoung calmly distributed the materials he had prepared.
“For the supervising teacher, I’ve invited Teacher Choi Namseon. He’s the English teacher, I think everyone knows him well. And this is the semester schedule I prepared. We won’t necessarily follow it exactly, so just use it as reference.”
Everyone was going “Wow…” in admiration at his preparedness when suddenly they heard the sound of someone running from far away. The *tak tak tak* sound of footsteps on the marble corridor gradually grew closer, then stopped with a friction sound in front of the door.
*Clatter!*
At the sound of the door opening, everyone’s gaze turned toward the doorway. There stood a face everyone knew well, catching his breath.
“Ryu Hakyoung, you…”
Hanju involuntarily let out an “Ugh” sound of distress. Sunmin hunched his shoulders and watched the two for their reactions. Heeun, who had turned her head from the doorway, somehow seemed to be ignoring this commotion.
Only Hakyoung held his head up stiffly and met eyes with the intruder.
“What. What’s the matter?”
“Come out.”
“Say it here.”
“I said come out.”
Yumyeong said again with a tilt of his head. He wasn’t angry—rather, it seemed like he had stripped away his emotions, but the somehow ominous atmosphere made Hanju and Sunmin shiver without realizing it.
On the other hand, Hakyoung sighed with a face that wasn’t intimidated at all.
“I’ll go talk and come back.”
Hakyoung pushed his chair back and stood up. Yumyeong, who had been clearly staring at him approaching the door, quickly turned his shoulder and left the doorway first before Hakyoung reached him.
The place Yumyeong reached was a dead end of the corridor. Facing the window, he took a deep breath and then let it out heavily. Then, with his hands thrust in his pockets, he turned around and met eyes with Hakyoung.
“Ryu Hakyoung. Have you forgotten our promise?”
“What promise.”
“We agreed to keep our hands off each other.”
Back in March when the wind was still harsh, there had been a time when Yumyeong had abruptly called Hakyoung to the rooftop. Remembering this, Hakyoung replied without any agitation.
“Was that a promise?”
“Yes. I kept my promise!”
Yumyeong shouted as if truly feeling wronged. At those words, Hakyoung’s expression became strange.
“Kept it? Kept what.”
“What did I do to Lee Sunmin?”
“I didn’t do anything either.”
“Don’t lie. You asked Heeun to join the club.”
“I offered you first. You’re the one who refused.”
“Urrgh…”
Yumyeong clenched his fist tightly. Hakyoung looked at the tendons showing on the back of his hand with complicated feelings.
“I don’t want to have such a stupid conversation.”
“Who started the power struggle?”
“Power struggle?”
“Yeah. Of all people, it had to be Heeun? Tell me honestly what you were thinking.”
“…”
Hakyoung didn’t speak. He just stared at Yumyeong for a moment.
It was Yumyeong who felt unbearably uncomfortable from that gaze. Somehow, he thought these moments had been frequent lately. Hakyoung was the type to honestly reveal his inner thoughts hidden behind his calm expression. He was surprisingly faithful to his emotions at any given moment and immediately responded to even childish provocations.
But rather, when he didn’t speak like this, strangely, emotions that seemed like they could be grasped yet couldn’t be grasped came crashing into him.
When he felt like he couldn’t stand it anymore, Yumyeong reflexively opened his mouth.
“…Say something. Don’t just look at me like that.”
Then Hakyoung lowered his head with a somehow complicated expression.
“You’re the one who had something to say. I’m going.”
Soon Hakyoung turned around cleanly. Watching that broad back, Yumyeong kicked the wall for no reason. Hakyoung stopped walking and turned around again.
“If you want to join, just say so honestly. I’ll accept you.”
***
“This is why I think things might be okay and then I really can’t like him…”
Yumyeong, lying on his dormitory bed as if he had crashed into it, hugged his pillow and was engulfed in worry.
It was clear that Hakyoung was deliberately provoking him.
The more he thought about it, the more childish his actions were. It was obvious. His pride must have been hurt when he flatly refused to join the club, and at that moment, he probably regretted even offering it to him. He felt wronged that he had been the one clinging for even a moment, so he created this situation wanting Yumyeong to cling to him instead.
“Haa.”
What was annoying was that in this situation, he himself was actually considering joining the club. Yumyeong rolled over to the opposite side again.
‘If I say I’ll do it, will Heeun not want to do it…?’
That was highly likely. After confessing and being rejected, things became very awkward with Heeun, and they weren’t even friends anymore. When he thought about how he had ruined a perfectly fine friendship with his hasty confession, tears welled up.
He still didn’t really know the difference between liking and loving.
But they said you’d understand if you dated. That even if the whole world turned away from me, just one person would become completely on my side. He wanted to experience that feeling too. If there were two lonely people in this world, wouldn’t it be better to cooperate with each other to ease that loneliness?
He couldn’t deny that it started from some degree of selfishness, but wasn’t all dating like that? Everyone does it for their own sake after all.
‘No, but how could she just immediately when Ryu Hakyoung asked… Kup… Heeun-ah.’
Dabbing at tears that wouldn’t come out, Yumyeong quietly flailed about.
*Ring ring ring, ring ring ring.*
Just then, a very unfamiliar sound reached Yumyeong’s ears as he lay face down. When he lifted his head, a small red light was blinking on the dormitory internal phone that rarely ever rang.
Getting up and approaching the entrance, Yumyeong picked up the slightly dusty phone.
“Hello.”
—Shin Yumyeong? You’re in your room. Come down now.
The voice coming from the other end of the receiver was none other than the dormitory supervisor’s. Yumyeong adjusted his grip on the receiver.
“Oh, right now?”
—Yes. You have a visitor from outside.
“A visitor… There’s no one who would come.”
It was very rare for an outsider to suddenly visit the dormitory. Yumyeong frowned and tilted his head.
—She says she’s your mother?
“Pardon?”
Yumyeong’s eyes widened at the unexpected words.
When he went down to the first floor of the dormitory, it was raining.
Yumyeong’s mother was standing outside the entrance holding a large black umbrella.
“Mom.”
Yumyeong said in a somehow choked voice and walked out to the entrance. The sound of rain that had sounded muffled became sharply louder as soon as he pushed open the glass door.
“What brings you here?”
“…”
At those words, his mother smiled faintly. Yumyeong took the umbrella that was too big for his mother’s thin wrist and said,
“The rain is splashing in, why don’t you come inside.”
“It’s okay.”
“Shall we go sit somewhere?”
At Yumyeong’s words, his mother suggested they go to the car. Since there wasn’t really anywhere to talk at school, and even the nearest café required quite a walk, Yumyeong nodded. Even walking that short distance, the rain splashed up and dyed the hem of his school uniform pants dark gray.
The door of the large-bodied black car closed with a heavy sound. Naturally sitting in the back seat, Yumyeong realized that his mother had come alone without a driver.
“You came alone?”
“Yes.”
“Why…”
“…”
“Did you come secretly without Father knowing?”
At those words, his mother nodded.
He had guessed. Without a single phone call, without any warning, the only reason to come secretly alone was that. Yumyeong pushed away his complicated thoughts and barely managed to smile.
“All this time…”
“All this time…”
The mother and son uttered the same words. Yumyeong’s dry lips had already dried up. He looked at his mother’s knees and closed his mouth.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t contact you. There were circumstances.”
Yumyeong smiled bitterly.
“What kind of circumstances would make you go that far… Phone calls wouldn’t go through, you went on trips leaving me out.”
“I wanted to tell you beforehand, but Mom…”
She stopped there and let out a heavy sigh. It was such a deep sigh that just hearing it felt like his heart would drop.
“Mom is sorry.”
The apology burst out suddenly along with a sob.
