Why was that?
“…I’m sorry.”
At Dohyeong’s single line and a single tear, one corner of his heart ached.
“Because my feelings went wrong after liking someone for so long, I was clumsy. I was scared. I was frightened. But still, because you like me, because you stay by my side, because you come after me. I thought it would be okay if I hesitated a little more.”
This was his own feelings.
He had never liked someone for a long time. Because he considered it a luxury to hold someone in his heart while dating.
Someone who just wouldn’t interfere with his work.
Someone who wouldn’t be a blemish even for a moment as he stood tall as an actor.
Yes, that was the kind of person he wanted. He just wanted to keep someone by his side who wouldn’t be a stumbling block in his life.
So he thought it would be okay. Because Dohyeong understands me, and yet still likes me, and stays by my side. Because he believed that if he stood up as if to run away, Dohyeong would come after him.
It seemed like it would be okay to be Jung Haesung, who was detached from emotions like love.
“I thought it would be okay even if you were just someone I could lean on, someone passing by….”
He covered his mouth with one hand. Because he almost let out a sigh without realizing it.
The moment he stepped back, his heart sank at Dohyeong’s line.
“I like you too. I realized it too late. I’m sorry… I’m sorry for not realizing it until you tried to cut me off.”
Even though he knew it was simply acting, the fact that the target of his words was Yuchan made his breath catch.
Dohyeong would come to like someone. Speaking of love, conveying to him the gaze he had sent to me.
It was a problem he had never even imagined, and it was something he didn’t need to. He had definitely believed so.
“…No.”
Haesung, who had been muttering to himself, urgently looked at Yuchan’s face.
That expression, flushed red and flustered.
‘This isn’t acting.’
It looked sincere. Someone might say that Yuchan was just immersed in Onyoung, but at least to him, it was absolutely not acting.
“Good eyes.”
At that moment, Director Na’s satisfied voice was heard and Haesung was able to return to reality.
However, that didn’t mean his heart had returned to its place.
He had only returned to the time when he had to remain as actor Jung Haesung. He was still stopped in the bewilderment and confusion he had felt just moments ago.
“Cut! Very good!”
At Director Na’s shout, Haesung raised his head to look at Dohyeong.
His brow furrowed for no reason at the sight of him smiling and conversing as if lacking confidence.
The moment their eyes met after Dohyeong turned his gaze away from Director Na, Haesung turned around. Because a fear that he would somehow reveal all his inner thoughts to him came rushing in.
He didn’t want to be caught thinking about what he had been thinking, with what kind of heart he had been watching the two people. He hoped it wouldn’t be revealed, at least.
‘Get a grip.’
He repeated it to himself again and again, but he may have already known.
‘Jung Haesung, please.’
That he had already crossed a river of no return.
Ruminating on his complicated feelings, he came to an abrupt stop where he stood.
It was a moment when he felt all too keenly how ridiculously late regret can make a person.
***
Immediately after the rehearsal, Director Na said the emotional flow must not be broken and quickly finished preparations before going straight into the actual filming.
Doing the same acting twice was difficult, but it wasn’t hard to draw up the emotions.
No matter how many times he did it, as long as his heart didn’t change, the emotions he stayed in would remain the same.
Yet Yuchan’s voice kept echoing in his head.
‘Don’t go.’
It was like watching an abandoned puppy.
‘…Don’t go. Dohyeong-ah.’
Because he couldn’t shake off the voice speaking to him pleadingly, and the hand holding onto him.
Dohyeong sank weakly to the ground.
‘Sorry.’
He heard Yuchan’s apology.
‘I felt like I shouldn’t let you go.’
Though incomprehensible words followed, Dohyeong didn’t press for answers.
Because it felt like he’d been caught with his gaze directed at Haesung. There was no need to dig into things he didn’t need to hold in his heart by asking unnecessary questions.
What followed after Onyoung’s confession scene was Yehyun and Yujin’s scene.
It was a scene where Yehyun gets furiously angry after learning that Yujin had been deliberately interfering with his relationship with Onyoung.
“I trust that you two will do well.”
Director Na left a meaningful comment.
Of course, it wasn’t that he didn’t understand. In the drama, Yujin’s actions came from cherishing Yehyun like a younger sibling.
But if you looked at it from reality, it would be like interfering because he couldn’t accept his ex-husband’s romance.
“Acting is just acting.”
At Haesung’s calm answer, several staff members couldn’t help but admire him as expected of a professional.
But only Dohyeong was anxious about him.
Because his eyes were more hardened than before, and his actions of constantly trying not to face him weighed on his mind.
“Please take care of me, sunbae-nim.”
Even at Dohyeong’s words, Haesung only nodded and didn’t say much else.
“Episode 8, Scene 32. Yujin, Yehyun. Park, day scene. Take is starting.”
At the assistant director’s announcement, Dohyeong closed his eyes.
‘I am Yehyun. Not Kim Dohyeong, but Yu Yehyun.’
The moment he quietly recited this and slowly opened his eyes.
“Action!”
Director Na’s signal was heard.
At the same time, Haesung quickly became Yujin. Troubled but calm. But looking at him with eyes that held apology.
“…Why did you do it?”
At the question that followed, he could see Haesung’s eyes wavering.
If it didn’t seem like he was flustered as Hyun Yujin, was he seeing things wrong?
“…Because I thought it was the best course of action.”
“You said you wanted me to be happy.”
“Is there any guarantee that a future with that person will be happiness for you, Yehyun-ssi?”
“You should have helped me at least try. At least shouldn’t my happiness be something I find myself?”
For a moment, silence flowed. Haesung was just staring at Dohyeong as if he had forgotten his lines.
‘What are you doing right now?’
Director Na was flustered as well.
“Cut!”
Eventually it was an NG, and only then did Haesung come to his senses and turn around.
“I’m sorry.”
“No, no. I expected it wouldn’t be easy but….”
Director Na scratched his head as if troubled and pointed at the sky with a rolled-up piece of paper.
“We have to finish before the sun sets, so hang in there a little. Got it?”
“Yes. I’m sorry.”
Haesung answered calmly and turned to look at Dohyeong.
“I’m sorry.”
“No. It’s okay.”
There were many things he wanted to ask.
Why he made that expression, why he just looked at him without being able to give any answer.
Just as he himself had felt something while acting with Yuchan, whether Haesung also had things that touched his heart.
But he couldn’t ask any of it. After firmly closing his lips that wouldn’t open, he immersed himself in acting once again at Director Na’s following signal.
Haesung didn’t let the second attempt go to waste. Director Na looked contentedly at the two people acting as naturally as flowing water.
At that moment, Yuchan quietly approached from behind the monitor.
Everyone was watching the two people’s acting in silence. It wasn’t just that they were focused on work.
“As expected, the chemistry is good.”
The moment Director Na’s muttered words pierced right into his ears, Yuchan unknowingly clenched his fist tightly.
He knew. The fact that Dohyeong and Haesung looked quite good together. Whenever the two stood side by side, they would draw the attention of staff and actors. He just didn’t want to acknowledge it.
“Good, cut!”
As soon as Director Na’s words ended, Dohyeong and Haesung exhaled deeply and took a step back.
“Thank you for leading me well.”
At that moment, Haesung threw out words of unknown meaning. When a surprised Dohyeong raised his head, he saw him smiling awkwardly.
‘…Hyung smiles while working too.’
It wasn’t the first time he’d seen it, but at least it wasn’t a sight he often saw.
Moreover, it wasn’t something that happened often for him to have a smile on his face when he was with him.
“I didn’t even do… anything.”
“You did.”
Haesung, who had answered decisively, blocked the approaching staff members and spoke quietly.
“Because Dohyeong-ssi’s emotional line was clear, it was good to follow. It’s not that Yehyun was led by Yujin’s lines.”
Dohyeong held his breath. Waiting for Haesung’s answer to follow, he gently clenched his fist.
“Yujin was led by Yehyun’s lines. That’s clear.”
Once again, he felt like he had been acknowledged as an actor by Haesung. He was thrilled enough to jump, but he deliberately put strength into his mouth.
“…I think that’s excessive praise.”
“No, it’s frustrating but true. The fact that Dohyeong-ssi’s acting was superior to mine right now.”
At the sight of Haesung smiling faintly, Dohyeong hurriedly averted his gaze.
Suddenly showing him a smiling face like this. Should he call it a foul? Or should he call it mean?
To him, who was wavering helplessly and continuing useless thoughts, Haesung’s unfamiliar appearance was no different from harmful footage.
Hmm, around the time he was clearing his throat, he saw Yuchan walking over from the monitor side, looking at them.
“Yuchan-ah.”
Haesung also raised his head to look at Yuchan.
Glaring as if to kill – perhaps he felt it too. Jung Haesung’s true nature that had popped out during the acting.
“I hear there’s a lot of praise saying you two have good chemistry.”
Though it was a sharp tone, Yuchan’s face was full of smiles.
“What’s this, Kim Dohyeong. I’m hurt. That kind of comment didn’t come out when you were with me.”
“Director Na gave the okay in one take. When the director likes something, he actually says less. He said he didn’t know how to express it.”
“Really? Then that’s a relief but….”
Yuchan laughed playfully as if his mood had improved, then turned his head toward Haesung. At that moment, the smile drawn on his lips disappeared in an instant.
Haesung, who had flinched, furrowed his brow. How should he accept this competitive psychology being shown so blatantly?
“What about you, sunbae-nim?”
At the question that followed, Haesung shrugged his shoulders.
“I don’t know what you’re asking.”
“Yuchan and Dohyeong. I was curious how the juniors’ acting was. Did it seem okay to you, sunbae-nim?”
Haesung’s mouth stiffened.
Even to him, the two looked very well-matched. To the extent that if it went on air as is, they could become the most popular couple.
But he didn’t want to say that with his own mouth.
Because it was one of the truths he didn’t want to reveal.
“Well….”
Turning away from his true feelings, he grabbed a thought circling outside his head and bluntly spat it out.
“Are you comparing them to people who were actually married, Yuchan-ssi?”
“Of course not. Setting aside all personal names.”
Haesung, who was still looking at Yuchan with a cold expression, crossed his arms and casually opened his mouth.
“More than friends, less than lovers. Exactly that much. The sexual atmosphere was lacking… did you really want to hear this?”
It was an utterly pathetic answer.
