“So, you decided to go together?”
Yuchan, who had been receiving makeup for filming, turned his head in surprise.
“Choi Yuchan, face forward!”
In the end, he got scolded by Manager Oh.
Manager Min, who had been doing Dohyeong’s makeup, giggled watching such a Yuchan.
“Dohyeong-ssi, you can’t turn your face.”
“Yes, Manager-nim.”
Yuchan shut his mouth tight in a straight line as if embarrassed. Then he faced the mirror again and made a dissatisfied expression.
“No, but why does he need to go? The reason is really not sitting well with me either.”
“Yuchan, later. There are lots of people.”
“No… ha, fine. Later.”
Since the conversation started even before receiving makeup, it seemed like it would go on and on endlessly. When there are many listening ears, it’s better not to say unnecessary things. It was a lesson from experience.
“Dohyeong-ssi, what should we do with your hair today? Would it be better to sweep it to the side? Or should I bring down your bangs?”
“Dohyeong looks better with his bangs down.”
“Since he says it’s better, I want to sweep it a bit to the side.”
His mischievous side kicked in. When he shrugged his shoulders and spoke, Yuchan turned his head again.
“Hey, Kim Dohyeong.”
“Choi Yuchan.”
At Manager Oh’s words, he had no choice but to turn his face toward the mirror.
“No, Manager-nim. Dohyeong is being annoying first.”
“Oh my, really. How old are you exactly? If I look carefully, you’re just like my youngest sibling.”
“Manager-nim, you have a youngest sibling too?”
“Of course. I have a youngest sibling I raised like gold and jade.”
Yuchan quickly bloomed with laughter while having various conversations with Manager Oh. Dohyeong smiled watching the two of them, then bit down on his lower lip.
There are things that don’t work no matter how hard you try. Like conversing, laughing, and joking casually like Yuchan right now.
It’s possible among close friends, but it wasn’t easy before building familiarity.
“Dohyeong-ssi, you know your face has gotten better lately?”
At Manager Min’s question, Dohyeong raised his head as if surprised.
“Me?”
“Yeah. Dohyeong-ssi, your face has really gotten better. Must be something good happening?”
“Something good…”
Dohyeong thought for a moment.
Does something good have to be defined as just one particular thing?
Like waking up in the morning no longer being like hell. Time when he doesn’t have to swallow loneliness left alone in the house. Spending days acting—what he so desired—and rubbing shoulders with people. Although thoughts deepen from time to time, becoming someone who can let them flow without being consumed by them.
If one, two things gathered to form his current happiness. Wouldn’t that be something good?
Just as he was hesitating about what answer to give.
“Manager Min-nim, that’s thanks to me.”
Yuchan spoke again with a beaming smile.
“Thanks to Yuchan-ssi?”
“Of course. Filming together, eating together, chatting together. How nice is that?”
“What are we going to do about this confidence? Right, Manager Min-nim?”
“That confidence is also Yuchan-ssi’s charm though.”
“Ah, come on. It’s really true. Right? Dohyeong, right? Ah, please answer! Your answer gives my confidence a basis!”
At the three people’s conversation, Dohyeong burst out laughing.
Though it couldn’t be defined as any one thing, the day created by small happinesses gathering was something good for him.
Somehow his insides were warming up as he realized again the happiness within him.
After makeup ended, the two people moved to the filming site.
Haesung arrived late and was receiving makeup together with Soyeon after them.
“So, let’s go back to that earlier topic again.”
“Why are you going back again?”
“Why are you meeting him? I’m a bit anxious about that person. No, I’m uncomfortable with you meeting him.”
“Why are you anxious and uncomfortable?”
Sometimes Dohyeong’s questions had a tendency to hit the most important point.
A single phrase that made it impossible to open one’s mouth.
But Yuchan wasn’t someone who would be swayed by that. Rather, he straightened his shoulders wide and answered brazenly.
“Because it feels like he’s tormenting the person I like.”
In that moment, Dohyeong flinched and shut his mouth tight.
“Him constantly hovering around the person I like really grates on me.”
Without being able to give any answer, he turned his head away sharply.
Thinking that guy really has nothing he can’t say, he took a deep breath.
“It’s true though.”
“I got it, so stop.”
“Dohyeong.”
Yuchan grabbed Dohyeong’s wrist. When he pulled slightly toward himself, his slender frame followed helplessly.
“Yuchan, I…”
And just as Dohyeong turned around to say something.
“Yuchan-ssi, Dohyeong-ssi! If you’re done preparing, let’s go into rehearsal!”
Director Na’s shout was heard.
In the end, the two had to face each other in front of the camera without properly finishing their conversation. Some kind of gaze passed between their exchanged looks, but it wasn’t spoken aloud.
“Now, Part 8, Scene 23. This is the scene where Onyoung confesses to Yehyun.”
The staff could be seen moving busily. Dohyeong sat side by side with Yuchan on the bench and squeezed his eyes shut.
He opened his eyes simultaneously with Director Na’s rehearsal start signal.
“Today… I came to make my last confession to Yehyun-ssi.”
Yuchan’s face saying that didn’t just look like Onyoung. I should be able to immerse myself in acting only if I face him perfectly as his role.
“I thought I was a stone, you see. A stone that doesn’t shake in any wind.”
At that appearance smiling sorrowfully, my heart…
“So wherever I bumped into, wherever I rolled. I thought I’d be okay. Because I’m solid.”
I don’t know why it’s welling up like this. Is it because those words feel like Yuchan’s true inner feelings?
“But the moment came when even stones break. If you bump into a rock harder than yourself, even stones can shatter.”
“Onyoung-ssi.”
“So today is my last confession. I’ll try bumping into you one last time, and if I still feel like I’ll break… I’ll stop. I have to protect myself too.”
Yuchan recited his lines with a bright smile. I couldn’t understand why the sunlight shining down on that appearance looked so warm.
“I like you. No… I love you. Yehyun-ssi.”
Yuchan spoke as if vomiting out emotions he’d been pressing down hard in his heart. At his eyes that seemed to be smiling yet not smiling, a corner of my heart stung.
In the end, Dohyeong couldn’t overcome the rising emotions. A transparent stream flowed down his pure white cheek.
“…I’m sorry.”
At that moment, bewilderment appeared on Yuchan’s face. Since it was a rehearsal, it would be okay to end it here, but there must be a reason Director Na wasn’t shouting cut. Since the main camera was also pointed at Dohyeong, it should still be okay.
Thinking about it, such words were written in the stage direction before Yehyun’s lines.
<Complex emotions swirl, as if wading through an emotional vortex. I want to see Yehyun’s emotions as interpreted by the actor.>
It was different from ordinary stage directions.
But Dohyeong didn’t raise any questions. Only Yuchan had asked Director Na several times how he should react.
It was strange that he said nothing, but was it for this moment?
Or did Dohyeong also want to entrust himself to the flow of Yehyun’s emotions?
“I don’t know why I’m being like this either.”
Dohyeong lowered his head deeply. Yehyun resembled me a lot. Among the swirling emotions, he can’t grasp which one is what he truly wants and feels.
He has no courage to reject the warmth he conveys, yet he also has no courage to hold on.
“…Ah, I got rejected like this again.”
Over Onyoung’s voice speaking with a bitter smile, Yuchan’s appearance overlaps again.
No, does Onyoung overlap over Yuchan’s voice?
Dohyeong slowly raised his head and firmly grasped his hand.
Right. Though Yehyun resembles me a lot, there was exactly one thing different.
“If I hold on, will you be held?”
At least Yehyun knows how to escape the past and face the present fully. He has the capacity to give his heart to someone who truly loves and cherishes him.
“…Yehyun-ssi.”
“Because it’s a heart that went wrong after liking someone for a long time, I was clumsy. I was scared. I was afraid. Still, because you like me, because you stay by my side, because you chase after me. I thought it would be okay if I hesitated a bit more.”
Throughout the lines, a corner of my heart stings.
Because Yehyun’s lines seem to dig deep into my feelings toward Yuchan.
No, perhaps I might be an even worse person. Because with my current self, I can’t even dream of moving forward like Yehyun.
“I thought it would be okay even if you were just someone to lean on, someone passing by…”
Dohyeong, who lowered his head again, sniffled. Not being able to suppress the overwhelming emotions—I wondered if that too wasn’t actor-like.
“I like you too. I realized it too late. I’m sorry… for not realizing until you tried to cut it off, I’m sorry.”
In the script, Yehyun looks straight into Onyoung’s eyes and speaks.
But no, I couldn’t do that. How can I make eye contact while saying I’m sorry for realizing my own feelings too late?
‘Because I realized it late,’ I couldn’t make eye contact even more. Because I’m sorry for the past days I turned away from until now.
Silence continues. Even knowing it was a rehearsal, it wasn’t easy to suppress emotions that had surged up once.
Barely catching my breath, I raised my head. When I think about it, this was the moment Yehyun should face Onyoung.
“I like you too…”
When conveying his heart fully.
The moment he can face Onyoung as the present Yehyun, with all the past days, emotions, and stories behind him.
“I like you. Onyoung-ssi.”
At the second confession, Onyoung should have smiled brightly.
“…Really?”
He was stammering and blushing. The face that had briefly looked like Onyoung returned to Yuchan again.
Thinking that he was embarrassed made me feel awkward too. I didn’t mean to say such things—as that feeling rushed in like a tide, I also blushed.
“Cut! Very good!”
At that moment, Director Na shouted cut. His face, standing up abruptly from his seat, looked quite satisfied.
“You two, can you do it like this in the actual filming too?”
Yuchan hesitated for a moment then nodded his head, but Dohyeong smiled awkwardly as if lacking confidence.
“I’m not sure.”
“Okay, then let’s go with this as is for the actual filming, and if it really doesn’t come out, let’s try combining it with the rehearsal version. Just in case, I filmed it. Got it?”
At Director Na’s thoroughly excited appearance, Dohyeong nodded and smiled. At that moment, his eyes met with Haesung, who was standing blankly behind the monitor.
His somehow displeased expression. As soon as he faced me, he turned around, and I stood up abruptly.
I couldn’t find the reason for my action. I just felt like I should say this was only acting.
“Dohyeong.”
But at Yuchan’s touch holding me back, I stopped in my tracks.
“Don’t go.”
At the following words, Dohyeong’s pupils trembled finely.
“…Don’t go. Dohyeong.”
