Dating
Kwon Sungha
The semester started.
The lunch members, which had initially been six, were now three. The empty seats that hadn’t been that noticeable when Jungwoo hyung left first and we were five became glaringly obvious after Kihyun hyung and Jason hyung graduated.
“What are we going to do? Starting next week, we have to eat on the medical school side. Eating alone is the most annoying thing.”
“Hey, Sungha has plenty of people to eat with besides us anyway. Did you think he’s been eating with us all this time because he has no friends?”
“True. Now that I think about it, yeah.”
Before I could even say I was fine, Gijae hyung beat me to it. Junsung hyung immediately nodded at Gijae hyung’s words, but I, the actual person in question, couldn’t agree with that statement.
Friends… I don’t have any.
Thanks to the hyungs with wide connections, my phone, which had only had one person’s name in it, now had several school people’s names saved. Most of them I’d met at the dorm and exchanged numbers with, but there were also people I’d become close with by taking the same classes or frequently running into each other on campus.
I’d be introduced to acquaintances of people I’d gotten close to that way, and then get to know their acquaintances too, and after a few years of that, there were now quite a lot of people I’d greet in passing.
But that was it. There were many “people I knew” who I could greet when I met them, but among them, there wasn’t a single one I could call a friend. Even with dozens of acquaintances on campus, the person I actually contacted most was Kang Sehyun, who wasn’t here.
In the end, hanging out with Sehyun who had no friends, I’d somehow become a person without friends too.
“We haven’t heard about meeting this weekend yet, right? I feel like someone’s going to be noisy about wanting to meet.”
The subject was missing, but I immediately caught on to who would want to meet. Among us, the only person who’d be noisy was Kihyun hyung.
“Even if we meet, I can’t.”
“Why?”
“My girlfriend’s birthday.”
Gijae hyung, who I’d been embarrassed to have thought wouldn’t have a girlfriend when I first met him, had a constant stream of people he was seeing. His personality wasn’t like that, but when dating, he’d break up immediately if things didn’t match even a little and would easily meet someone else. His dating style was so clean-cut that when he met with his girlfriend, he couldn’t be reached, and conversely, when he was with us, he didn’t contact his girlfriend at all.
“But you can’t either this week.”
“Me? Why can’t I?”
“…Did you forget it’s this week?”
“…Huh? Ah! Right. True.”
Besides Gijae hyung who had his girlfriend’s birthday, Junsung hyung also seemed to have other plans, but I deliberately didn’t ask. However, feeling bad about talking about something only I didn’t know about, Junsung hyung looked at me and said quietly.
“I have a blind date.”
I knew it. Actually, it wasn’t really something to keep secret since this was already the sixth one I knew of. I’d never seen one go well, but I wanted to applaud his persistence for not giving up.
If the other hyungs had been there, they would’ve asked about the blind date at this timing, so even though I wasn’t curious, I pretended to be. Sure enough, Junsung hyung poured out his story as if he’d been waiting. Thanks to that, we had a lunch hour that wasn’t boring even though there were fewer people.
Around when the story was ending, a question suddenly came to me.
“But Sungha, do you really have no thoughts of meeting anyone?”
It was a question that came up whenever they forgot about it. My answer to that question was always “Not yet,” but this time I hesitated while trying to answer that way.
What is this? This uncomfortable feeling.
“Hey, Park Junsung. Don’t you know Sungha? He’ll 100% say he has no thoughts of meeting anyone. If he did, your turn wouldn’t have even come around, man.”
“True. I admit that. I admit it because you’re our good Sungha.”
“Just say the word anytime. I’ll introduce you to someone really good.”
“What, then what about me? Are you saying I’m not really good and who did you introduce me to?”
While the hyungs bickered, I stood up saying I’d go smoke. In the smoking area behind the cafeteria, there were still many students smoking.
At the earlier question about whether I had thoughts of meeting anyone, and just now at the words about introducing me to someone good, I thought of one person. No, I wasn’t even trying to think of them, but that person automatically came to mind.
To be more honest, these days they came to mind all the time, so I couldn’t tell if that person came to mind because of that question, or for some other reason.
Kang Sehyun.
My head is full of Kang Sehyun these days.
***
As it was the first day of the semester, most classes ended early.
The last class also ended in 40 minutes instead of the scheduled 1 hour and 15 minutes, and as originally planned, I was going to go to Sehyun’s officetel.
Drrr-.
When I got in the car and just grabbed the steering wheel, the phone I’d placed on the holder vibrated briefly. Since it was a message and not a call, I thought it wasn’t that urgent, so I decided to check it after arriving instead of parking again. There was only one person who would send a message matching my end time anyway. They probably sent asking if I was leaving now.
But I learned that thought was wrong 20 minutes later when I got out of the car.
Jung Sohyun: [Sungha, are you still at school?]
It was the restaurant noona who rarely had reason to message me.
When I replied that I’d finished, a call came in less than a few seconds later, and I headed straight to the restaurant. The new employee who was supposed to come today didn’t show up without notice, and they’d been working with insufficient staff since morning, and to make matters worse, one of the working employees got burned.
I called Sehyun on the way, but he didn’t answer, probably still in class. I sent a message saying I suddenly had to work and couldn’t come, then hurried out to the floor. Naturally, I was busy enough during work that I didn’t have time to take out my phone.
“Sungha. Thank you so much today.”
“No, Manager-nim, you worked hard too.”
“Go on ahead, you have school tomorrow too.”
At 11:10 PM, after leaving the floor cleanup to others and coming outside early, it had become pitch dark.
I’d been driving the same streets for years now to attend classes, and after they ended, doing the same work at the same place, but whether it was because it was the first day of the semester or because I’d expended unexpected energy, I was particularly tired. Even the cigarette I habitually smoked before getting in the car felt hard and bothersome. With my body exhausted, even my mood felt like it was sinking.
I got straight into the car and took out my phone. When I confirmed that the message I’d naturally expected from Sehyun hadn’t arrived, I felt irritated for no reason.
While staring at the silent phone, my hand suddenly vibrated. On the screen was a number starting with 82. Even though we’d been in contact dozens of times, it was an unsaved number.
“Hello.”
– This is Kim Eunhyuk.
Once a month, a voice I didn’t want to hear but had to. It was my stepfather’s secretary.
– I’m calling to inform you the transfer has been completed.
“Yes. Thank you.”
I’d said there was no need to contact me like this every time, but after sending the money, he always called. The first couple of times, I just asked for a message, but even after always answering that he understood, he contacted by phone. Only then did I realize. He only did what my stepfather told him to.
– And I have a message to relay, is that alright?
“Yes. Please go ahead.”
– Since you didn’t come to Korea during this break, Madam seems to be very upset. She said to contact her often and make sure this doesn’t happen again from now on.
I already knew the words I’d hear from that person would never be good words. I’d known since I refused Mom’s request to definitely come during winter break that I’d hear words like this. It was just absurd that even words like this were conveyed through a secretary. No matter how much she didn’t want to talk to me directly, having a secretary she’d never even met say these words couldn’t feel good for either the person hearing or the person relaying them.
“Please tell her I understand. That I’ll take care of it well.”
– Yes. Then, I’ll contact you again.
Normally, this would be something I could just let pass, but today of all days it wasn’t easy. So I sat in the car for a while, then ended up going out again to smoke. A cigarette smoked by force really sucked.
On top of exhaustion, even my mood was a mess.
When I arrived at the apartment, it was almost midnight. Only then did I realize I’d been in the car for quite a while earlier and hurried out.
Let’s go in quickly and rest. With only that thought, I climbed the stairs. My body felt heavy enough that I felt like I’d collapse as soon as I got there.
Click-.
When I carefully opened the door, light miraculously leaked out. I’d definitely checked that it was off when I left this morning, but the living room lamp was brightly lit.
“You’re late.”
It was Kang Sehyun.
I was about to demand why he’d ignored my message but was here, but I closed my mouth seeing the welcome evident on his face. I could tell without asking why he came to this far place and waited for me until this hour. He was already saying with his expression that he’d missed me.
“Aren’t you coming in?”
Once I realized something important, my feet wouldn’t move from the entrance.
“…”
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
Even just this morning, my feelings were “probably.” Because I believed I’d have to agonize over it dozens, hundreds of times since it wasn’t something I could easily decide, even knowing that Sehyun’s place in my head was gradually growing, I couldn’t rashly be certain.
But the moment I saw Sehyun’s face, I realized how foolish all that agonizing had been. Because at the end of a particularly difficult day, I could forget everything just by seeing one person.
The answer was already there.
“Did I end up liking you?”
“Yeah.”
The person who heard my answer froze for a moment. The face that whipped around showed clear bewilderment.
“…What did you say?”
The guy whose answers never took more than a second asked a beat late.
“I said I’ve come to like you.”
“…”
“I thought only you were strange. But I’m the same.”
Sehyun, who was always composed, was surprised. Seeing him like that, I felt a strange sense of superiority that I could be such a special existence to Sehyun.
What is this feeling?
“Let’s do it, that not-normal thing.”
This time too, no answer came. Instead, strong arms pulled my shoulders into an embrace. Painfully tight, he held me.
