Want to live together?
Why did that one carefully offered phrase make my nose sting? I was glad she couldn’t see my face.
“…How can you say that? When you don’t even have a spare room.”
Our circumstances weren’t that generous. Even more so after Father passed away early.
Mother raised us siblings while working at a restaurant. Of all places, both of us dreamed in a household like this. I wanted to become an idol, and my younger sister, five years my junior, said she wanted to draw pictures.
I know. Mother wouldn’t be uncomfortable even sharing a single room. She was the kind of person who would gladly support us even if it meant taking on debt in her own name. And while doing so, she was the sort who would laugh and say what parent wouldn’t do that, far from making a big deal of it.
Knowing that made it even harder to lean on her. Her hands were already roughened from hard work. I didn’t want to add anything more to them. Even though I knew no one becomes an adult in one go, I wanted to do so that badly.
“If I move in, Seoa will throw a huge fit saying it’s uncomfortable.”
—You think so? Ugh, that girl. I’m so annoyed with her these days. The moment I try to nag her, she slams the door…
“Mom, try to understand. She’s right in the middle of puberty. Girls are apparently really sensitive during that time. Making friends is incredibly complicated too. Okay?”
—I know, I know… Ugh. I must have wronged her in a past life.
“And Mom, I have a place to stay. I have some money saved up too, even if it’s just a little. So don’t worry.”
—That ‘don’t worry’ is really your specialty, isn’t it? Making me find out about my son through internet news.
I had nothing to say even with ten mouths.
—Mom has to go to work now. Anyway, do what you want, and contact me if anything happens.
“Okay.”
I answered quietly while fiddling with the clothes I was wearing. The pure white cashmere sweater was thin, light, and warm. It felt a bit excessive for early spring, but honestly it was perfect for me since I get cold easily.
It was something Seo Nakil had bought for me.
‘I should thank him.’
It was about time for him to arrive. I recalled hearing through his secretary that he’d come at discharge time.
Maybe I should go down and complete the discharge procedures early. I also needed to think about what to do if there were any hospital bills to handle.
There wasn’t much time left so I hurried to leave, but the moment I opened the door, my path was blocked. As I hurriedly pulled my body back in surprise, a hand shot out and firmly grasped my shoulder, helping me find my balance.
An elegant scent mixing dry sand and wood. It was Seo Nakil’s. By now this scent had become so familiar it even felt welcome.
“…Actor-nim.”
Instead of answering right away, Seo Nakil examined me for a moment. His silent yet meticulous gaze swept over my complexion.
Only after checking to his satisfaction did something completely unexpected come from his open mouth.
“Call me hyung.”
Hyung. Technically it was a common form of address, but I had no idea why it felt so awkward to use it toward Seo Nakil.
“That’s a bit…”
“You originally called me that anyway.”
Another lie. Seo Nakil lied to people with infuriatingly skillful ease. He was completely different from me, who kept showing gaps while awkwardly struggling because lying felt uncomfortable. Was this also a kind of acting for him?
“Why. Does it seem unconscionable to be called hyung when we’re ten whole years apart? Then just call me ahjussi.”
“No, no… Even so, that’s a bit more…”
I quickly made my choice between the two.
“I’ll… try to call you hyung.”
“Good. Actually, the title ‘actor-nim’ isn’t too bad either. The flaw is that it seems a bit distant… Well, it’s better than young master.”
Young master. Now that was a title that seemed almost never used in daily life.
Of course, coming from a well-off family, he must have heard it often. I too had heard it when I was young, when my father who was a driver called the young masters of that household that.
“So where were you trying to go? It’s almost the appointed time.”
“I was thinking of checking on the discharge procedures first.”
Seo Nakil raised his eyebrows as if finding this peculiar.
“I already handled that on my way up.”
“Then, the hospital bill…”
“I already handled that too.”
My flustered face was reflected in his black eyes.
“You don’t think I’d make you pay the hospital bill, do you?”
“Still…”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s not a significant amount.”
How could I not worry about it? Just the single room alone cost a considerable amount per day, and this went beyond a room to using this entire floor alone.
As if unaware of my troubled feelings, Seo Nakil changed the subject.
“Is it warm?”
“…Ah, the sweater.”
I nodded my head vigorously.
“It’s warm. It’s really been a while since I wore something this nice.”
“Let’s go down.”
I went down in the elevator with him. I even indulged in pointless imagination to disperse my tension about being conscious of the cramped space.
What did Seo Nakil ride around in? Was it routine for him to ride in a van as celebrities typically do? I’d heard that people who move around privately also ride in cars, and somehow Seo Nakil seemed like he’d be in that category.
Then what kind of car did he drive? A sports car? Or a sedan?
But contrary to my expectations, the place Seo Nakil took me to was in front of a large SUV.
“It’s big…”
“It won’t be cramped, at least.”
I nodded in agreement. The car was certainly generously large, so getting into the passenger seat felt less daunting.
Of course, that didn’t mean I suddenly felt pleased about going to the agency. Even more so because I knew exactly what I’d face there.
As I tensed up gripping the seatbelt tightly with both hands, Seo Nakil, who was starting the engine, glanced at me.
“Will you be okay?”
From the outside it would look like routine business. It was natural for an idol in special group activities to drop by their agency once in a while.
And yet he spoke as if he were putting me somewhere I couldn’t go.
So this thought suddenly occurred to me. Do you perhaps know everything about me? Are you doing this knowing how hard to believe the process I’ve crossed through has been?
Of course I knew it was a foolish thought.
‘That can’t be.’
I released the seatbelt that had been tormented without reason and slipped my right hand slightly into my pocket. My fingertips caught on stiff paper.
It was a business card. The most simple-looking one among those I’d received over the past few days. That business card with Seo Nakil’s personal contact information had become my talisman.
Pressing the corners that had worn a bit from repeated touching with my fingertips, I answered.
“I’m okay.”
“You don’t look confident.”
“It’s not something I’m doing because I’m confident. It’s just… I’m doing it because I have to.”
“Should I come up with you?”
It took a moment to understand what he meant.
“The office, I mean.”
“Ah, no, no.”
I waved my hands urgently.
“I’m really okay. Just because I’m not confident doesn’t mean I can’t do it.”
“But it would be better if you had confidence. Even more reassuring if you had a guardian.”
“That may be true, but I can’t have a guardian every moment.”
My life had been far from such protection to begin with.
“Just taking me there is enough. Really.”
Fortunately, Seo Nakil backed down after that.
“Alright. Then I’ll wait downstairs.”
“…What?”
Just taking me there was already more than enough, so what more did he intend to do? He paid no mind to my wavering gaze.
“You need to pack your things.”
“Things?”
Seo Nakil gestured toward the back seat. I turned my body to the left and looked in the direction his gaze indicated.
And I saw them. Large boxes that looked good for putting things in, just the size one might use when moving offices or packing for a move…
“You’ll need to pack your belongings from the dorm. I could send someone, but the other members wouldn’t like that very much.”
“…”
“You have nowhere to go once you leave the dorm.”
“Are you serious? What you said about moving residences.”
Then Seo Nakil smiled.
“Not a single thing I’ve said to you has been insincere.”
“…”
“Come live with me. I’ll take responsibility for you now.”
Was that ticklish voice caressing my ears a temptation, or a plea…
Or was it a confession?
