After coming down from the award ceremony stage, he couldn’t stop the tears that started pouring from that moment. He hiccupped and barely inhaled, tried to stop with long sighs, but when he blinked, tears flowed down his cheeks.
He had to return to the artist seats, but in the end, Siwoo, who entered the backstage waiting room, tilted his head back and flapped both hands trying to cool his heated cheeks.
“Our Siwoo, what should we do with you crying like this? I made you pretty and you’re ruining it.”
At Hyunseok’s light joke trying to soothe Siwoo’s heightened emotions, the corners of Siwoo’s lips twitched slightly.
“You guys go first, and Siwoo, let’s go a bit later.”
Because of Myunghun who sent out the members who had all entered the waiting room in confusion, only Sangjun and Siwoo remained in the waiting room.
“Why aren’t you going?”
“I’m going to use the bathroom first.”
“Then go up with Siwoo later.”
Sangjun’s eyes looking down at Siwoo, who had barely stopped crying and was borrowing the makeup team’s hands to fix his messed up makeup, were darkly sunken.
The outward Siwoo was truly a strong kid. He was quick-witted, perceptive, and found work to do himself. He never went forward to ruin broadcasts, nor showed himself falling behind. No matter how hard it was, he was a kid who gritted his teeth and somehow accomplished it without a single word of complaint.
Siwoo, who barely shone during the first album, began gaining tremendous popularity after the second album release. A beta overshadowed by alphas. Unlike himself who at least received recognition in the producing side by working on songs, Siwoo was like oil floating on water.
After ‘Lucifer’ was released, Siwoo also suffered the most hate comments, and Siwoo also received concentrated fire from excessive media play.
Unlike Evan who expressed himself without reserve and confidently, Siwoo was busy hiding. In the end, he was caught by the eyes of close people, but he was trapped in a situation where he couldn’t properly express liking the person he liked.
The envy and jealousy that increased as much as the love received inevitably followed those walking the idol path, but for Siwoo it was particularly excessive.
There was a time when he sat next to Siwoo, who was alone in a corner quietly just looking at his phone. What Siwoo was reading, moving his fingers quickly with an expressionless face, were countless hate comments.
‘Dude, you should sleep instead of doing this. What nonsense are you looking at?’
‘There was a time when I didn’t even have this, and indifference is scarier than hate comments… Hyung, this hurts more than I thought. It’s okay if it’s just directed at me, but I’m worried about causing harm to the members. But honestly, I don’t know what to do.’
‘The agency says they’ll clean it up once. Everyone doesn’t know the limit. Hey, get up. Instead of looking at this, let’s eat something delicious. Should I ask Daehwan hyung to buy us level 3 spicy tteokbokki? So Evan can’t eat it.’
‘You think Evanie won’t eat it just because it’s level 3? For sure, if Yechan pokes at him again, the two will have fire in their eyes and force themselves to eat it, right?’
‘Then level 4?’
‘Wow, I don’t want that.’
Sangjun, who had been recalling their silly conversation, moved his gaze that had been looking at around Siwoo’s shoulders at the hand that slightly grabbed his fingertips.
“We even received the rookie award, so why does hyung look like that?”
“Just. I thought we suffered quite a bit.”
“Sangjun, don’t say useless things. I just got him to stop crying and finished fixing it, so if you make him cry again, you’ll die by my hands.”
When Siwoo’s barely dried eyes reddened again, Hyunseok, who had been watching from behind as the makeup was being fixed, suddenly interjected.
“No. I really won’t cry. You know I don’t cry easily.”
Embarrassed that he kept crying like a child, Siwoo quickly waved his hands. At Myunghun’s words to quickly go to the bathroom and come back up, the two came out as if chased from the waiting room.
Passing through the busy hallway with Sangjun and bowing 90 degrees to greet everyone they encountered, Siwoo finally arrived at the bathroom and stood in front of the sink washing his hands.
His eyes, nose tip, and ears were still red, but the face soaked with tears was neatly organized.
The corners of Siwoo’s mouth, who had been looking in the mirror, rose slightly. The joy he hadn’t properly felt due to the rushing complex emotions came belatedly. A rookie award—something he thought would never happen had happened to him. Of course, the past Ocean he knew always snatched rookie awards.
That really happened to me too. Siwoo looked at his wet hands. The heavy trophy came to mind. It’s really not a dream. It’s reality.
“Wow…! These days’ kids really have no manners. Shouldn’t you bow your head to the ground first when you see a senior?”
Siwoo, who had been staring blankly at his hands, was startled by the words heard from behind and raised his head. In the mirror, besides Siwoo himself, one more person was reflected.
To meet Hwanhee, the leader of a top idol group that could be said to be at the peak position, here like this.
The surprise was brief as Siwoo quickly turned his body and bowed to him. He was someone he had wanted to meet. Though a scandal had erupted over his personal private life, his skills were tremendous. He was someone called number one in stage presence, vocal ability, and performance.
“Are you arrogant because you received a rookie award? Discipline has completely fallen apart. These days’ kids.”
“I’m sorry.”
“But… you’re kind of interesting?”
Siwoo, who spat out an apology before a greeting, stiffened slightly at the touch on the tip of his chin. Is there a reason to touch the chin of someone who’s greeting? While hesitating, Siwoo had to slowly straighten his body with his chin held by him.
Since he was taller than him, Siwoo naturally tilted his head back to look at him. The moment his face came closer, Siwoo hurriedly turned his head to the side. What situation is this right now? Siwoo, who blinked rapidly, tried to step back, but blocked by the sink, he couldn’t do that either.
“You’re clearly a beta. Why are you going around covered in alpha scent? Making people misunderstand… Not just one but three.”
Though he barely avoided his face, Hwanhee buried his face in Siwoo’s nape and muttered in a low voice while breathing in deeply.
Was this such an unpleasant action? Evan came to mind, who frequently hugged him from the front or back, burying his nose in his neckline and sniffing while playing around.
“You look exactly like an omega, ah! Ocean had three alphas.”
As Hwanhee moved away and muttered, Siwoo’s expression hardened coldly, understanding what meaning his words contained.
“Pretty, let’s have a drink with hyung soon. You know well that the better your connections, the easier it is to survive in this scene, right? If you’ve received a rookie award, you’re worth me playing with. Well… you seem to know everything you should know anyway.”
It was one-sided until the end. Without giving Siwoo time to refute or respond, Hwanhee left the bathroom in an instant after just spewing what he had to say.
“Why are you standing there like that?”
Siwoo, who had been sweeping the chin and neckline that the unpleasant thing had just touched, suddenly raised his head at the familiar voice. Seeing Sangjun washing his hands next to him with his usual expression, Siwoo swallowed a sigh inward. It seemed he hadn’t heard that conversation just now.
“My shoulders are stiff.”
There’s no reason to create unnecessary trouble. Grabbing his shoulder with the hand that had been touching his neckline and lightly rotating it, Siwoo spoke nonchalantly.
There’s no need to care about trash-like words. This wasn’t the first time. Such dirty hands came so easily to idols who weren’t rising. Dirty transactions under the pretext of properly raising them and making them into stars.
“Let’s go quickly. If we’re late, we’ll get scolded by Myunghun hyung again later.”
At Sangjun’s urging, Siwoo walked quickly matching his steps. As expected, they had to greet people passing by, and bowing so as not to disturb other singers watching the stage, Siwoo quickly headed to where Ocean was.
After Sangjun went first and Siwoo followed, seeing Evan’s seat next to him was empty, he tried to sit there.
“…”
Just as he arrived and was about to sit down, Siwoo, whose wrist was grabbed by Evan, was dragged out of the artist seats again as is. Surprised by the sudden occurrence, Siwoo grabbed Evan’s wrist trying to stop his steps, but it was helpless.
The last person Siwoo’s eyes met while being dragged by his strength was Louis. He had to see the scene where all of Phantom’s members hurriedly covered their noses and mouths with their hands behind him, who opened his eyes wide as if extremely surprised by something.
“Fuck, I’m going to kill that son of a bitch…”
Because of Evan walking ahead quickly, Siwoo, who was walking as if running behind him, doubted his ears for a moment. Even hitting the back of his hand or arm to shake off Evan’s hand that was spewing low-quality profanities showed no signs of stopping his walking.
Bang-.
He didn’t even open the door. Evan, who kicked it open to enter the waiting room, finally let go of Siwoo’s wrist, and didn’t seem to care that the staff waiting inside were surprised.
“Hey, are you crazy?”
How hard did he grip it—the wrist he had just been holding throbbed. Even knowing there were staff here, Siwoo spoke loudly.
“Fuck. This is why I… didn’t want to do this kind of shit.”
“What are you doing? What the hell are you doing? You suddenly drag someone down and curse? What did I do wrong!”
At the sight of Evan brazenly getting angry after suddenly dragging someone in, Siwoo also didn’t back down.
Before the flustered staff could ask what was going on, Evan first picked up the deodorizer on one side. And he started spraying it mercilessly on Siwoo standing in the middle of the waiting room.
“Hey! Evan! Evan Lewis. Are you really crazy? Why are you doing this?”
It wasn’t just spraying but almost pouring the deodorizer—because of Evan, Siwoo hurriedly covered his face with both arms and shouted. Siwoo, who inhaled the deodorizer while hurriedly shouting, even coughed.
“…Damn it.”
When Evan threw the nearly empty can of deodorizer on the floor, heavy silence descended on the waiting room. They had just fixed the makeup… Siwoo’s hair, which had been beautifully waved, was soaked and the waves disappeared. The shoulders of the neat jacket became damp.
“…Evan, you go back. Siwoo… right, change clothes, was there a hat?”
Hyunseok, who had been watching all this situation, quietly opened her mouth while pressing her forehead with one hand. At first everyone was surprised and flustered, but seeing the pheromone deodorizer rolling on the floor, they understood the situation at once.
The problem was just pouring it all when a few sprays would have been enough.
“I’m not going.”
At Evan’s sullen retort, Daehwan, who had been moving his lips, closed his mouth. Because those who see them from the closest place couldn’t not know about their relationship. Or at least everyone clearly knew what kind of feelings Evan had for Siwoo.
But it was natural that an alpha who realized he had come back after receiving another alpha’s pheromones, and even a pheromone shower full of sexual meaning, wouldn’t stay still.
