“We decided to go on a blind date with music major kids with Hyo-kyung.”
At Lee Kyeong-su’s words, Jung Hyun-wook frowned.
“Really?”
What on earth does Jung Hyun-wook think of me?
“No.”
His stiff face immediately relaxed.
“Don’t say weird things to Hyo-kyung.”
Lee Kyeong-su’s words, as if about to protest something, were cut off by the professor’s appearance.
As soon as class started, I glanced at Jung Hyun-wook’s face opening the textbook with a serious expression. Jung Hyun-wook didn’t particularly share serious friendship with them, yet always kept them close. Moreover, he even included me in this group.
Sung Woo-jae’s group were all prodigies from special purpose high schools and autonomous private high schools. From what I heard, there were quite a few in our department from conglomerate families ranked in the business world or from influential families. But he didn’t really acknowledge them much.
By what standard does Jung Hyun-wook associate with these guys? To my question, Jung Hyun-wook evaluated them as prodigies with relatively universal and rational thinking who grew up receiving elite education in ordinary families, not inherited power.
While concluding that it’s good in many ways to be friendly with kids like that if one can choose people to befriend, he advised me to become moderately friendly with them. It was an aspect I couldn’t even imagine from the usual Jung Hyun-wook. Evaluating people and setting standards. Perhaps it was natural and familiar work in the world he belonged to.
Then how am I being evaluated by Jung Hyun-wook? If one had to make friends, being with kids like that would be helpful—that didn’t apply to Jung Hyun-wook at all. It was only applicable to me. For me who had nothing except a prestigious university title, their future of securing a position each in the legal world with only their own abilities regardless of their family’s power structure or influence would become a sound buffer zone.
“I got a call from Ahn Jong-hwa. He asked if you were doing well.”
On the way out after class, Jung Hyun-wook said strangely casually. He spoke so nonchalantly that I almost let it pass roughly. I stopped walking abruptly. Though he didn’t like that my expression changed at once, he continued speaking.
“He asked if anyone came looking for you at school or the convenience store. I said there was no such incident. Was there anything I don’t know about?”
I shook my head.
“Where is he… staying?”
“He said he’ll stay at a hyung’s place who he works with for a few days.”
Suddenly my solar plexus felt stuffy. It tightened as if someone was squeezing inside my chest.
This was exactly what Jung Hyun-wook meant by becoming moderately friendly. Having the trivial worries needed at that age, acting like being desperate for blind dates with music major girls, but soon regaining one’s duties and moving forward faster than others. Even if shaken, it’s always done only within a solid fence.
While at school, I also lived in the delusion that I’d temporarily become like them.
“The semi-basement room is still as it was. It seems no one came to see the house. I said if you’re okay with it, I’d try to get the deposit.”
“What did Jong-hwa say?”
“He said not to talk nonsense.”
Of course. Jong-hwa won’t accept such help from Jung Hyun-wook. Because both he and I know what it means to receive help from someone.
“I hate seeing you become anxious. We have to prevent those people from coming to school.”
“You don’t have money either.”
“I think I can borrow it. Not from my father. Just… there’s a friend I’ve known since childhood.”
A friend who could lend such a large sum of money… The image of President Jo Tae-hwa mocking Jung Hyun-wook came to mind. There couldn’t be such a thing as a friend in that world who would lend money for Jung Hyun-wook’s sake.
I know well what it’s like to manipulate people with money as hostage. During my orphanage days, there were a few people who wanted to sponsor me. A child achieving good grades despite unfortunate circumstances was an attractive title that stimulated their sympathy.
They promised not only university tuition but also living expenses. Desperate, I always smiled and acted like a good child the way they wanted in front of them. But they abandoned me as easily as they sympathized. I never wanted to feel that helplessness again.
“There will be another way. Let’s think about it a bit more.”
“Do you hate relying on me that much? Ahn Jong-hwa is okay, but why not me?”
He immediately regretted it, his face showing he’d said something he didn’t want to say. His hand anxiously swept through his forehead.
As the surroundings darkened, the baseball field lighting tower turned on. The voices of players starting night training were loud.
“You told me before. That our school’s baseball team isn’t athletic scholarship students but all amateurs doing it as a hobby. But strangely, they practice like that without missing a day.”
Jung Hyun-wook stared at me like that.
“I just like that kind of thing. That what makes people live isn’t grand things but trivial things.”
Perhaps it was my answer to his confession.
“I want to be one of those trivial reasons for you. That’s all.”
“Sounds like you’re saying you don’t want to get serious with me.”
Then the lighting tower in one outfield went off. The surroundings darkened in an instant and murmuring sounds of players came from the field.
“No. I mean I hope my unhappiness doesn’t become your unhappiness.”
I took one step back from him with an ambiguous attitude. But he firmly held my gaze as if he couldn’t allow it.
“Then who shares your unhappiness?”
“……”
“Ahn Jong-hwa?”
At that resentful voice, I couldn’t give him any answer.
***
Even after coming to the convenience store, Jung Hyun-wook’s question kept coming to mind. It was clear that there were things I could show Jong-hwa but not Jung Hyun-wook. But he shouldn’t be angry at superficial facts; he should be curious about the reason.
I liked Jung Hyun-wook, and I didn’t want to ruin the me that Jung Hyun-wook mistook me for. Even if the day came when he’d eventually realize, I wanted to extend that expiration date as much as possible.
I finished displaying while thinking other thoughts in my head the whole time. It was when I was collecting plastic boxes.
“Welcome.”
The customer was an unexpectedly familiar face.
“Wow. Look who’s here. You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“No. I just didn’t think of it.”
I quickly went to the register. Unlike last time, there was playfulness in her blunt tone.
“I remembered hearing in passing that you work here, so I stopped by.”
Her right hand suddenly held out a paper bag. The cast that had wrapped her wrist was gone.
“Take it. My arm hurts.”
I quickly took it in surprise.
“Why are you surprised? My arm is healed now!”
“Yes…”
“It’s nothing much. A few days ago my daughter got married, so I’m handing out rice cakes to company people, and I thought of you and Hyun-wook so I brought some. I also put in some side dishes. Hyun-wook really likes the pickled perilla leaves I make.”
Heat suddenly rushed to my eyes. Jung Hyun-wook wasn’t abandoned. He didn’t fail either. I wanted to run to Jung Hyun-wook right away and tell him.
“I’ll make sure to pass it on. Thank you.”
When my eyes immediately reddened, the lady sighed deeply.
“We all cleared up the misunderstanding. I don’t know what circumstances Hyun-wook had with his father to end up like that. But we know better than anyone how well he treated us. Even in that chaotic situation, he sent congratulatory money.”
The lady firmly grasped my hand. Her rough, wrinkled hand was warm.
“Tell him we used two whole days of paid leave for the wedding. Now we all use our paid leave confidently whenever we want. It’s all thanks to Hyun-wook.”
As the lady kept patting my shoulder, the door opened and customers came in. When I noticeably stiffened, the lady also noticed someone had come.
“Oh my, I took up too much of your time without any sense. I’ll be going now.”
The man with a dragon crawling up to his neck probably had his entire body covered in tattoos under his clothes. The atmosphere was unusual from the moment he entered. I instinctively knew they were loan sharks.
They glanced at me and the lady tactfully, then walked around the display racks, touching items they weren’t going to buy.
“You should go quickly. The trains will stop soon.”
“Alright, I’ll go then.”
After sending the lady off, I calmly returned to the register and first secured my phone. I brought up Jong-hwa’s phone number on the screen.
I couldn’t contact Jung Hyun-wook. To him… I had to tell him that the lady safely married off her daughter, that she used two whole days of paid leave, and that she still remembers he likes pickled perilla leaves.
In times like this, the one I chose was ultimately Jong-hwa.
“Ribbed condoms? Hyungnim, these days even convenience stores sell this stuff.”
“Why. Should I buy you one?”
“No sir. I don’t need this kind of thing.”
