“…….”
I thought while listening to what he said. Perhaps I should be angry at this timing.
Banye, who said he didn’t want to date me, but when drunk pulled me into an embrace.
Whenever it seems like I’m organizing my feelings and distancing myself, he always approaches like this and makes me anxious…… maybe I should push him away and kick him out, asking if he’s toying with me.
But I didn’t do that. Or maybe it’s more accurate to say I couldn’t…….
Strangely, even though I felt like tears would well up, I didn’t resent Banye. I just hoped that what Banye said was clumsy sincerity.
‘This is really lingering attachment…….’
While thinking bitterly, I still wrapped my arms around Banye’s waist.
Banye hugged me tighter as I entered his embrace, then pulled the back of my head with one hand. When our eyes met as he looked down, my face heated up instantly.
My mouth went dry at the face that slowly and closely approached. But at the critical moment, Banye hesitated and paused slightly.
I couldn’t stand that moment and pulled Banye’s neck toward me.
“……Ngh…….”
And just bit his lips.
Banye let out a slight groan as if in pain, but I didn’t go easy on him. However, once I slightly inserted my tongue into his mouth, I didn’t know what to do. It was my first time too!
When Banye’s soft tongue slightly touched the tip of my tongue, chills ran down my spine. From that point on, I couldn’t pursue as actively as when biting his lips.
Banye looked at me with narrowed eyes, then pushed me slightly and separated our lips.
“……That hurts.”
“S-sorry…….”
Looking closely, I’d really bitten Banye’s lips hard enough that they were slightly torn.
I apologized while shrinking my shoulders, but Banye sighed and brushed his thumb across his own lips. Then he muttered something dissatisfied.
“……This isn’t the angle I was thinking of.”
After that, he suddenly lowered his head. I froze in surprise at the soft tongue that entered parting my lips.
“Huh? ……Mmph!”
Unlike me, Banye sucked on my tongue quite persistently.
While getting chills from the unfamiliar sensation, I was also ecstatic at the fact that Banye was concentrating on kissing me. Even while panting, I kept trying to match my breathing with Banye’s.
Even so, what bothered me was the thought that unlike me, this wasn’t Banye’s first kiss. Because unlike me who could barely keep up with Banye, Banye looked relaxed.
While kissing, Banye also unhesitatingly kneaded my waist. Meanwhile, I was so overwhelmed just trying to keep up with the kiss that my body flinched every time Banye’s hand touched me.
After ending the slightly long second kiss like that, Banye stared piercingly at my lips with a strange expression.
“This feels weird…….”
“……Why, why?”
Could it be he doesn’t like it? I reflexively shrank back.
“It just feels weird.”
But Banye just looked puzzled and immediately bit and sucked on my lips again.
From that attitude, I could sense that Banye, like me, was kissing for the first time. The way he kept trying to continue because it felt good doing it for the first time…… was too lewd and cute.
But even while receiving such fervent kisses, an inexplicable anxiety within me wouldn’t disappear.
Actually, I thought this kiss was made of Banye’s simple impulse. Because there was no evidence that Banye had been in love with me from before.
Then…… wouldn’t Banye end up regretting this again once he sobered up? And then I’d get hurt again.
“……Banye. Do you like me?”
I squeezed out courage to ask, but the guy furrowed his brows and deflected.
“Does hyung really like me?”
It was truly an absurd question. I shouted in disbelief.
“I kept saying I like you!”
But Banye had a blank face as if he didn’t believe my words at all.
“But why is it still Banye?”
“What is?”
“You don’t even know my name…….”
“I know it. Hwang Hyunjung!”
Seeing him talk nonsense, he must be really properly drunk. There’s no use having a serious conversation with a drunk person…….
While thinking that, I still gently smoothed out Hyunjung’s furrowed brow with my index finger and whispered.
“Hyunjung-ah.”
“…….”
“……You don’t dislike me, right?”
There’s no way he’d bother caring about someone he dislikes, buy them meat, and even…… kiss like this. Even if it’s impulsive, it’s rather the opposite.
With a nervous heart, I gulped.
“Then, try saying you like me.”
Even if it’s not completely the same feelings as mine…… it’s not like there’s no feelings of liking at all, right?
Instead of answering, Hyunjung looked down at me. For a moment, a complicated expression flashed across his face.
I became anxious and scared. So without realizing it, I blocked his lips that were about to say something with my palm.
“…….”
“No…… no.”
I only had one drink, but I must be drunk too. What’s the use of desperately drawing out an answer like this? Even I thought I was being too pathetic.
Instead of saying more, I hugged Hyunjung. Hyunjung, who had been still, finally embraced me back with slow movements after a long while.
* * *
Even though I barely drank any alcohol, when I opened my eyes in the morning my head hurt like I had a hangover. After groaning for a while, I belatedly remembered last night and sat up abruptly.
“…….”
Unlike when I was drunk last time, I woke up properly in my own bed, and there was no one around. Most importantly, I definitely had my memories.
‘Last night for sure, I was holding Hyunjung and…….’
Since we couldn’t stay like that, I tried to put Hyunjung to bed and brought him to his room. And after laying him down properly in place, I looked at him for a moment…….
‘Not enough?’
……He asked with conviction, so I answered ‘No!’ in a fluster and escaped the room like I was running away.
After that, I didn’t know what to do in front of the closed door…… and ended up falling into a drowsy sleep from exhaustion just like that.
“Ha…….”
Recalling what happened yesterday made my face burn hot.
Of course, the first problem I had to face was this.
‘Does Hyunjung remember?’
Since he was quite drunk, it wouldn’t be strange if he blacked out. Even if he remembers, he could pretend not to know.
Then, how should I act……. Just thinking about it felt like my head would explode.
I opened the door slightly and checked the situation outside. I couldn’t see Hyunjung outside. After hesitating for a long time, I came out. It was so quiet it made me wonder why I’d been nervous.
“……Is he sleeping?”
Normally he’d be up by this time, but since he drank quite a bit yesterday, maybe he’ll wake up late today. I checked the entrance wondering if he’d gone out, but his shoes were still there.
I barely overcame the impulse to run back to my room and pretend not to know.
‘Let’s have a proper conversation when he wakes up.’
Surely he won’t pretend not to know and evade after what happened yesterday…….
Instead of going into my room, I sat on the sofa and waited for Hyunjung to wake up while watching television that didn’t even register in my eyes.
How much time had passed? With a click sound, Hyunjung’s door opened.
Hyunjung came out with bedhead and glanced at me as if nothing happened. Even though it was no different from his usual gaze, I flinched in surprise.
“G-good morning.”
“…….”
Hyunjung paused and looked at me.
Looking at that expression, I became curious about what exactly he was thinking right now. Was Hyunjung anxious like me, excited, or…… regretful?
“Hyung.”
“……Y-yes?”
But then, Hyunjung said something like a bolt from the blue to me.
“What did I do to you yesterday?”
“What……?”
I stiffened from the shock. And seeing me like that, Hyunjung sighed and muttered.
“Ha……. So that wasn’t a dream.”
“O-of course it wasn’t!”
I clenched my fists tight and trembled before stomping toward Hyunjung. I was thinking of really punching him this time if he denied it.
But even as I approached, Hyunjung stood in place without moving. And when I looked up at him with tears welling up, he looked down at me with a troubled and annoyed expression…… and asked me.
“Why are you crying?”
At those words, my grievance exploded, and I ended up showing tears.
“You, you k-kissed me and now you’re trying to p-pretend it didn’t…….”
Hyunjung, who had been listening to me, refuted clearly.
“I never pretended it didn’t happen. I just…… asked if we really did it.”
“W-with such a disgusted expression……!”
“It’s not a disgusted expression.”
“It’s not a happy expression either!”
“…….”
The guy neither affirmed nor denied my words, then wiped my rolling tears with his finger.
And then suddenly, really suddenly, he lowered his head. I widened my eyes in surprise at the sensation of a tongue licking below my eyes.
