“Ah…. Hht….”
My body that had been reacting just from kissing heated up uncontrollably. My lower abdomen tightened, and sensation rushed between my legs. Each time Cha Jeonghan held and sucked here and there as if devouring my body, only one thought came to mind. The thought that this was wrong, that I should push him away even now, disappeared, and all I thought was that I wanted to touch Cha Jeonghan more, more.
Along with the hand unbuckling my belt and entering inside my underwear, our lips locked. I felt like I’d go crazy. No matter what we did now, we couldn’t be friends. A friend who confesses might possibly exist, but there wouldn’t be friends in the world who did this kind of thing.
I really, really felt this was the last time. If I stupidly let this time that would never come again slip by, I’d probably regret it for the rest of my life. I didn’t want that. If this was the end, I wanted to spend this time without regret.
For the first time, I raised my hand and caressed Cha Jeonghan’s face. It was a face I’d so wanted to touch. Every time he laid his head on my legs, I’d wanted to stroke his face and hair. I wanted to do it like he did to me, but he was friendship and I was love, so I couldn’t.
“…I wanted to touch you too….”
“……”
“I also, hht… I also wanted to… heu… mm, touch you like this…… ah….”
Cha Jeonghan’s hand, who’d been watching me speak without withdrawing his gaze, moved faster and faster inside my underwear. Someone putting their hand inside my underwear, gripping and touching my genitals like this—it was all a first, so no thoughts formed at all.
“…I’m going crazy, really.”
Cha Jeonghan, who spat out words like a mutter, pulled down my pants and underwear at once. As what had been covering disappeared and below was exposed as is, heat that I’d thought couldn’t cling any more spread wildly to my face and entire body. Cha Jeonghan, who wedged his knee between my legs that were drawing together, straightened his body and took off the shirt he was wearing. Seeing the well-made body without a bit of excess fat from diligent exercise, my gaze kept moving elsewhere. I looked at the blinds or walls or something for nothing.
“……”
“……”
Cha Jeonghan completely removed my t-shirt that had ridden up above my chest. Looking at the clothes flying carelessly to the floor, my eyes met with him as he covered over me again and climbed on. Cha Jeonghan buried his face in my neck while gripping my genitals again and shaking them. I barely endured a bit before ejaculating in his hand. At the same time as ejaculating, at the pleasure spreading through my entire body and the unavoidable shame, I turned my head to the side. Showing such an appearance was something I couldn’t even imagine, so honestly it was a bit difficult.
“Ha…. Why aren’t you looking at me?”
“I can’t, can’t look…. Haa….”
“Still, look at me.”
At his kind voice, I slightly opened my eyes to check on Cha Jeonghan. Cha Jeonghan was raising and looking at his wet hand. Knowing what was on his hand, I quickly turned my head away again and closed my eyes.
“It doesn’t feel bad. Honestly, I thought it might be impossible.”
“……”
“No, if it seemed like it wouldn’t work, I couldn’t have even kissed you.”
“……”
“Yuhyeon-ah.”
“……”
My name rang in my ear. The moment his lips touched my ear, my shoulders hunched. Cha Jeonghan’s pleasant-sounding voice dug in and stole away all the little strength remaining in my body.
“Earlier when you saw me and your face turned red….”
“……”
“I got hard.”
Only then did I feel the hardness touching my thigh. I’d been feeling it since earlier, but I’d been too out of it to pay attention to that as well, so I’d never thought about it, but after hearing Cha Jeonghan’s words, I seemed to know where that hardness was coming from.
“Look at me.”
“……I can’t.”
“I already can’t see you like before these days, so my life isn’t really living. You know I’m anxious without you, so how can you do this?”
“……”
“At least look at me now.”
“……”
“I’m only looking at you.”
“…Hheut!”
Something slippery and hard rubbed the deep place between my legs. I thought it was Cha Jeonghan’s fingertips. Cha Jeonghan rubbed above it a bit, then inserted one finger inside.
“Here, right?”
“…Hheuk, it hurts….”
“…It’s incredibly tight. Hot.”
“Stop, stop talking…… Heu……”
“It feels like my finger will melt. You’re all warm and hot.”
“Be quiet… hht…!”
Cha Jeonghan, who’d been saying words that made my face burn hot just from hearing, looked closely at my face. His rough breathing got a bit rougher, and the focus held in his eyes seemed to gradually scatter. Cha Jeonghan inserted his finger deeply while slightly licking his lower lip as if smacking his lips. The breath reaching over my face gradually got… hotter, and the finger filling inside my body didn’t hurt like at first.
“…Yuhyeon-ah.”
“……”
“It’s the first time I’m seeing this face of yours.”
“……”
“It’s pretty.”
At his words that this was the first time he’d seen this face of mine, I finally understood what Cha Jeonghan’s unfamiliar expression was. I also figured out the reason why I’d never seen it even once until now.
It was because we were friends. Because we were friends, we couldn’t know each other’s faces at this moment right now.
This face I didn’t know…… was Cha Jeonghan’s aroused appearance.
The fingers increased one by one. Since nothing had ever entered inside my body, the foreign feeling filling the inside was so strange that strength kept entering my body. Cha Jeonghan repeated pushing my semen-covered fingers all the way in and pulling them out. At first it was painful enough to worry whether I could do it to the end, but as Cha Jeonghan’s fingers repeatedly moved, the pain gradually disappeared. No, it seemed to be getting numb.
“Does it still hurt a lot?”
“Compared to earlier… hht, it’s gotten better…. But Jeonghan-ah. You don’t need to ask things like that….”
“I feel like I shouldn’t do things my way.”
“……”
“I’m in the middle of agonizing. Ah, should I just do it my way? No. When it’s not enough even if I show you my best side, if I do things my way, you might pack completely and disappear.”
“…You can do it your way. I don’t really know anyway.”
Cha Jeonghan, who pulled out the fingers I didn’t know how many there were from inside me at once, slowly rubbed what was hard touching the inside of my thigh. He wrinkled his brow as if grimacing and exhaled a breath like a moan.
“What about me… ah, do I know well?”
After rubbing his thing between my legs a few more times, Cha Jeonghan grabbed my hand and brought it down. The moment something that was heated up and hard touched my fingertips, my body stiffened in surprise.
“Touch mine too.”
“……”
“Ah….”
Meeting eyes with Cha Jeonghan, I spread my hand and gripped his genitals. Just like it was the first time someone touched mine, it was also the first time I touched someone’s genitals. Something hot and… hard grew in size each time I carefully gripped it and moved as if stroking up and down. Cha Jeonghan exhaled hot breath while deeply closing and opening his eyes.
“……”
“……”
The moment our eyes met, Cha Jeonghan came down as if our pupils were overlapping. Our lips locked urgently and a bit roughly, and our tongues tangled frantically. Matching him as he rubbed and sucked my tongue, for the first time I also moved my tongue to mix. As soon as I moved my tongue, Cha Jeonghan spread my legs and brought what had hardened fully against me. As something hot pressed above where fingers had entered and exited and gradually dug in, my body trembled wildly.
“Ah…! Hheut….”
I’d thought I’d be okay since I’d grown numb to the pain even with several fingers entering, but this couldn’t be compared to fingers at all. It hurt enough that it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say it was the most painful among all the pain I’d felt since birth. Even I, who had strong patience, hurt and was also scared enough to want to give up right away if it weren’t Cha Jeonghan.
“Ah… It’s too tight. Yuhyeon, ngh, you need to relax a bit or it won’t go in.”
I understood what Cha Jeonghan was saying, but I didn’t know how to relax my body. Like someone who had never once thought about what relaxing meant, I kept tensing up.
With just the tip barely inside, it felt completely tight below, like it couldn’t go any further, so I pulled his shoulders into an embrace. I wanted to do this but was also scared, and though I was scared, I didn’t want to miss this time I could spend with Cha Jeonghan. If I missed this time that would be both first and last because of this little fear, I felt I would regret that too.
“Slowly…. Jeonghan, slow… slowly….”
“Yeah, slowly.”
