To my family, Cha Jeonghan was almost like another son. After sticking together all three years of high school and coming home together after school ended, not only my parents but my sister treated Cha Jeonghan kindly too. Eating dinner together so much like that, he became close enough to have meals at our house even without me there.
“Say hi to noona for me.”
“I will.”
“See you tonight.”
“Yeah. See you later.”
After finishing preparations, I went down to the parking lot with Cha Jeonghan, watched the van drive away, and quickly came back up to the house to prepare to go to the cafe. I chose a clean shirt to wear and picked out a not-too-thick jacket Cha Jeonghan had bought me. Seeing the clothes hanging and placed so full that all four sections of the closet I used were packed, it seemed I needed to diligently wear them. I touched each of the tightly hung clothes for no reason. Thinking that Cha Jeonghan had looked and chosen them made me happy just looking at them hanging there.
When I entered the cafe, my sister was greeting customers with “Welcome,” then saw me and waved her hand with a smile. Maybe because it had been several months, I was so happy a smile came naturally.
“You’re here? Why does it feel like it’s been so long since we saw each other?”
“It has been a long time. First time since summer.”
“Did our Yuhyeon miss noona?”
Seeing my sister speak like she was talking to a baby made me laugh. My sister laughed along seeing me laugh and patted my back, leading me inside the cafe. I quickly put on the apron my sister gave me in front and went outside. First I washed my hands cleanly, organized the cups and plates customers had finished drinking from and left behind, and wiped the crumbs and drinks that had made things dirty. My sister approached and patted my back as if I was admirable.
“Just work with me. I can’t give you as much as Jeonghan, but I’ll treat you well. Where can I hire an employee who does this well without being told? Your brother-in-law has his eye on you too.”
“Whenever I have time I’m free, so call me anytime you need.”
“Got it. Now customers will rush in. It’ll be hectic, but let’s finish well.”
“Yeah.”
As my sister said, people started rushing in as soon as lunch time began. I’d experienced it before so I expected it to some degree, but whether word had spread more in the meantime, over twenty people were standing to place orders at the counter. While taking one person’s order, two more people would join, and when one drink went out, three new orders would pile up in the meantime.
I took orders precisely, and my sister kept making drinks. Moving so busily her hands weren’t visible, she kept checking orders and making drinks that could be made together while starting on the complicated drinks that needed separate steaming.
Only after 1 o’clock did people decrease and it became quiet. I didn’t know with what mind or how I worked from 11:30 to 1 o’clock. My sister, whose face seemed to have grown haggard in the meantime, held out a drink in front of me.
“Drink this. Really no composure at all.”
“There are so many cafes here, why do they only come here?”
“Word got out that the coffee is delicious. It was on TV last time too. And someone posted that it’s Jeonghan’s regular cafe. After that it’s been chaos. Well… it’s busy but it’s a good thing.”
Drinking the ade my sister made, I finally felt like I could live a little. My sister said I must be hungry and warmed up a ham and cheese panini for me. Maybe because I ate it right away while it was warm, I could eat it very deliciously.
“Jeonghan is really doing well these days. Everyone around me is crazy about how much they like Jeonghan. He has good taste too. How is everything he does, dramas and movies, all interesting?”
“That’s why his nickname is ‘trustworthy Jeonghan.’ If Jeonghan’s in it, it’s definitely interesting.”
After 4 o’clock, the inside of the cafe finally became leisurely. My sister said now was the most awkward time and that she needed to rest properly now to do good business in the evening, so she pulled a chair in front of the POS and sat down.
“How are you doing these days?”
“Me? Well, when Jeonghan’s busy I’m busy, when Jeonghan rests I rest.”
“Since way back, whenever I ask you anything, it’s all about Jeonghan. You two stuck together so much I thought you’d do some business together later, and it’s not business but you are working together, really.”
“I know…. Who would have known I’d work as a celebrity manager? You didn’t know either, noona.”
“Of course I didn’t know. How’s the work? Isn’t it hard?”
“Before, I went to all of Jeonghan’s schedules together so it was a bit hard physically… but these days I only go to the ones Jeonghan asks me to go to, and otherwise I rest. There’s nothing hard at all.”
When I quietly looked at my sister who seemed to have something she wanted to say, she smiled silently. Even without hearing it, I seemed to know what she was trying to say. She wanted to ask how long I was going to work as a manager. I knew, but since my sister didn’t specifically ask, I didn’t bring it up either.
My parents and my sister had never forced anything on me since I was young. Partly because I did well what I needed to do on my own, but they always said living doing the work you want was the best thing. So even when I told them I wanted to work with Jeonghan instead of getting a job, they didn’t oppose. All they said was to take good care of myself in many ways since it could be hard work physically and mentally.
But that was already the sixth year. Cha Jeonghan and I, who were twenty-four, became thirty, and I was still in that place with Cha Jeonghan. I had no complaints at all and felt rewarded by the work, but from my parents’ and sister’s perspective, it seemed they worried that if it got any later, I wouldn’t be able to do any new different work. I fully understood my family’s worry. I knew all of it—that they were worried but that no one could bring it up first because of me.
“If you have any hardships, tell noona everything. Okay?”
“Okay. But I really have no hardships. You know. I’m secretly simple so even if something happens I forget quickly, and even if my mood was bad, after a while I resolve it all by myself. I don’t get stressed easily.”
“I know. I know, but still there are times when you want to confide in someone. You probably tell Jeonghan everything, but there are also things that are a bit awkward to tell Jeonghan. Tell noona at those times. I also have times when it’s a bit awkward to tell your brother-in-law. Whenever that happens, I tell you.”
“If something comes up, I’ll tell noona too.”
My sister always worried about me warmly. That’s why I couldn’t tell her my real inner feelings even more. These were feelings I couldn’t tell Cha Jeonghan, but also couldn’t tell my sister or parents. Feelings I couldn’t voice to anyone, but wasn’t ashamed of and didn’t want to get rid of, kept growing. I didn’t know how much longer these feelings could last either. If they grew bigger than I could handle, even if I tried to hide them, they would burst out after swallowing me.
“……”
Someday this heart of mine that loves Cha Jeonghan would wrap around me, and I would flounder inside that love. What would it feel like to sink up to my head in emotions with nowhere to go? Still, thinking it would just feel good, I felt like there was no answer for me.
At the words that the employee working from evening to closing would come soon, I washed the cups and plates left in the sink. My sister said she’d do it, but since she’d do it every day, I didn’t want to make her do it while I was here. At the words to sit and rest, my sister, saying as expected there’s no one like a younger sibling, stroked the back of my head and sat in the chair.
“Let’s go out and eat dinner when the part-timer comes. Noona will buy you something delicious. You really worked hard today, our Yuhyeon.”
“What hardship is this? Noona’s the one who works hard every day.”
After washing all the piled cups and plates, wiping the moisture and organizing them well so they could be used right away, I finally felt at ease. Watching my sister go inside to answer a call from my brother-in-law, I was tying up a bag after organizing the plastic and paper trash as a final task when the sound of the door opening came. As I gave the “Welcome” greeting that had stuck to my lips in one day, surprised sounds came from here and there inside the cafe. Suddenly there was the sound of photos being taken, and at the murmuring sounds, wondering what was going on, I quickly washed my hands and turned toward the POS.
“May I take your order……”
Before the words could fully come out, my mind went blank for a moment. Cha Jeonghan standing in front of the counter tilted his head and smiled looking at me. I really didn’t know he’d come here, so like a fool I couldn’t speak and could only barely blink my eyes. Now I understood why there had been surprised sounds and shutter sounds.
“Jeonghan-ah….”
“I finished earlier than expected so I came. To eat dinner and take you home. Were you surprised? Where’s noona?”
“Ah…. Inside taking a call.”
The gazes of the people filling several tables inside the cafe all poured onto Cha Jeonghan. It wasn’t a situation to cause misunderstanding or for ridiculous words to spread at all, but still from unnecessary worry I lowered my voice and whispered.
“Is it okay with people watching?”
“What does it matter? It’s not like I brought someone. And this came out as my regular place.”
Then my sister, who hung up and came out, made a sound filled with happiness and surprise seeing Cha Jeonghan. I laughed at the somewhat boisterous reunion of the two people who hadn’t met in longer than I had.
“How did you come all the way here? Without even saying you were coming!”
“I’m taking Yuhyeon with me.”
“What about dinner?”
“We have to eat. Can you go out, noona?”
“Of course. The part-timer will come soon. I was actually wanting to see if you were doing well, so you came at a good time.”
Seeing the smiling Cha Jeonghan felt like we’d gone back to the past. It was like seeing Cha Jeonghan back when he often came to our house and became close with my family. Remembering when Cha Jeonghan, who liked our house more than his own and seemed like he’d never slept on the floor, would lay out a blanket on my room floor and talk about various trivial things until falling asleep—I felt a bit nostalgic for those times.
The dinner was very enjoyable. Thanks to my bright and always cheerful sister, we could share various stories and eat a wonderful dinner. After driving my sister, who said to come visit anytime we had time, home to her house, Cha Jeonghan got out of the van and greeted her while watching until she went inside. Seeing Cha Jeonghan treat my sister well made me both grateful and fluttery.
