Not just my heart but my entire body pulsated. When I stopped breathing in surprise, my heart beat even faster as if begging to be saved.
“What are you doing…”
When a trembling voice like a moan flowed out softly, Lee Jiwoo cut off my words.
“Why? Is this sexual harassment too?”
The hand that had just been lightly touching became sticky in an instant. Lee Jiwoo stroked broadly from my chest to my collarbone and shoulder, neck, and then back to my chest, all the way to my solar plexus, as if exploring with his palm.
Normally I would have been upset, but I didn’t have the presence of mind for that now. The last place his large palm arrived was near my heart again.
“Seoun.”
Even though there was no reason for it because of my clothes, I somehow had the illusion that the coldness of his palm was touching my bare skin.
“I don’t know what you’re thinking.”
“……”
“What are you thinking right now?”
“……”
Goosebumps rose on the back of my neck at the strange, incomprehensible question. Though it seemed out of the blue, Lee Jiwoo must have thought a lot before asking this question.
Or is it just that I really have a mysterious image to Lee Jiwoo? Am I just shooting myself in the foot, pointlessly attributing meaning to something insignificant and worrying alone?
Unable to hide my nervous signs, I hesitated and opened my mouth.
“Just thinking… I’m scared.”
“What are you scared of?”
“Lee Jiwoo’s behavior. And I have an ominous feeling that I’ve learned something I shouldn’t know…”
Being scared was true. But I couldn’t just tremble like this. Somehow I had to desperately prove that I was harmless.
“A thought came to my mind—will you tell me if my guess is right?”
At my sudden words, Lee Jiwoo nodded his head slightly once.
“When Lee Jiwoo first met me, you suddenly appeared and flirted with me. Saying you fell for me at first sight.”
“I did.”
“Actually, I didn’t believe those words from the start. Because I didn’t get the feeling that Lee Jiwoo liked me that much. So I always had the question of why is this person acting like this?”
“Right, you said that before too.”
I laid the groundwork with all my might.
“At first, I thought you were trying to get revenge because I hit you, Lee Jiwoo. Like getting close like this and then suddenly backstabbing me, something like that.”
“……”
“But then as I spent time with you, you didn’t seem like a bad person. Except for having somewhat different values from me, I thought it would be pretty good to be friends.”
To have to run my mouth like this for just one lie. But if I made a slip of the tongue because I was too hasty, there would be no turning back.
“I thought it would be okay to develop into a relationship beyond that. If we don’t suit each other, we can break up then, so…”
“What are you trying to say?”
Lee Jiwoo’s brow furrowed, thinking I kept going in circles. He doesn’t answer properly when asked and just babbles nonsense himself, but can’t stand it when others do it. There was no hypocrisy like this hypocrisy.
“Lee Jiwoo.”
“Yes, Lee Jiwoo is here, so speak.”
“By any chance, did you approach me because of drugs?”
“…What?”
His sharp eyes relaxed for a moment. I pressed the bewildered Lee Jiwoo with hurt eyes.
“Actually, that delivery was supposed to be yours, right? That’s why you approached me, right?”
“What are you talking about?”
Lee Jiwoo, who of course had no reason for that to be true, frowned as if wronged.
“Then you’re saying Lee Jiwoo fell for a man you met by chance at first sight, coincidentally found that man’s house, coincidentally broke in and slept one night, then without saying anything opened that man’s delivery box and immediately noticed it was drugs?”
“……”
Lee Jiwoo had a bewildered expression like someone who heard a riddle from the Sphinx. I let out a deep sigh and turned my head away from his gaze. When I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them, around my eyes became moist. Of course not enough for tears to flow, but my eyeballs must have reddened slightly.
It was one of the techniques I used when pretending to be sick to leave school early.
“That’s yours, right, Lee Jiwoo?”
“No.”
He answered immediately as if there was no need to think.
“Then why did you open someone else’s delivery without permission? Didn’t you intentionally approach me from the start just to find that?”
“……”
This time he didn’t answer. But just looking at his expression and eyes, I could tell how absurd he found it. He frowned heavily and looked at me for a while before sighing.
“If that was mine like you said, and I came to find it, why would I still be meeting you? I could just retrieve what I lost and leave.”
“Maybe you’re monitoring whether I’ll report it to the police or not.”
“Who told you what that was? Me. If I really wanted to hide it from you, I wouldn’t have said GHB in the first place.”
That’s right. I know that much too. But I had to act like the victim, so I continued to be just emotional without any logic.
“You were just testing whether I knew or not.”
“I told you it’s not like that.”
“Coming to our house the next day too—you didn’t find it by looking at CCTV, you knew the address from the start, right? Honestly, how do you look at someone else’s car dashcam? I know that much, that not just anyone can look at street CCTV.”
Ha, my face is good enough, I should’ve just been an actor from childhood. But I shouldn’t immerse myself too much and act too dramatically either. We weren’t close enough for me to be this emotionally shaken.
Just as I was about to press further, Lee Jiwoo sighed and suddenly made an unexpected confession.
“Actually, I didn’t find your house through CCTV. I didn’t look at someone else’s car dashcam either.”
“……”
I couldn’t help but be flustered. It really wasn’t that? Then how did you find it? Did you really approach me knowing from the start? Knowing I’m the person hyungnim sent? No, fuck. This is even scarier…
“If those drugs aren’t Lee Jiwoo’s and it wasn’t a delivery mistake to our house… Th-then how did you know to come to our house?”
I asked while gulping, but Lee Jiwoo just stared at me quietly without answering. Looking at those eyes, he absolutely won’t tell me even if he dies.
“That’s a secret.”
Sure enough, my prediction was right. Why keep it a secret instead of just continuing to lie? I frowned and then hesitated.
A secret? Could this also be related to Lee Jiwoo’s secret? Among the things hyungnim said, there was something about Lee Jiwoo being very quick to notice things.
Maybe that wasn’t being quick to notice, but rather having intelligence capabilities to quickly root out spies that hyungnim secretly sent?
My head felt like it would catch fire since I’d never used my brain except when calculating money.
“Really.”
In the silence that was long if long and short if short, Lee Jiwoo spoke first. He said once more with an innocent face as if emphasizing.
“That medicine isn’t mine. I didn’t approach you because of it either.”
Lee Jiwoo reached out his hand to me. Before his fingertips could even touch me, I pulled my upper body back slightly and put a tiny distance between us. I mumbled with eyes mixed half with anxiety and half with suspicion.
“The timing is too…”
“……”
“Too coincidental. The day I met Lee Jiwoo, an unidentified delivery came to our house, and Lee Jiwoo happened to discover it…”
His hand remained alone in the air, lonely and motionless. Lee Jiwoo frowned and this time turned his hand over to show his palm.
“Give me your hand.”
Suddenly? At the out-of-the-blue request, I firmly refused.
“No.”
“Why?”
“Isn’t that the question I should be asking? Why are you suddenly asking for my hand in the middle of talking?”
It felt like dealing with a cricket that could jump anywhere.
“……”
“……”
We started a staring contest for a long while. I wanted to look away first but didn’t. Anyway, since it’s come to this, it’s do or die. The moment the source of the drugs is discovered, everything ends, so I had to make it clear that this issue was definitely unrelated to me.
“Ha.”
Just then, Lee Jiwoo sighed and looked away from me first. He turned his head to look at the air for a moment, then breathed out deeply again and took out his phone.
And showing me the screen, he said something strange.
“I’ll scroll slowly to the side, so tell me if you see someone you know.”
“…What?”
On the screen was some male student who looked very ordinary and featureless, the kind you’d definitely find one or two of at any school.
