This time he kept insisting on doing the dishes himself, so I just let him do it. I thought he’d break at least one dish, but surprisingly he didn’t. Though quite a bit of water splashed around, that could be cleaned up later.
“That’s strange.”
After finishing cleaning up, a moment of rest arrived. We were each drinking a cup of instant coffee while looking at the blue sky outside the window when Lee Jiwoo mumbled like talking to himself.
“What is?”
“This is the first time I’ve sobered up this quickly after drinking. Usually I suffered terribly all day long, and on some days even for two days. I’d have to lie down almost like a vegetable.”
Lee Jiwoo’s eyes, which had regained vitality, sparkled like sunlight reflected on water.
“Is it because of the medicine you bought? What’s it called? I want to buy some too.”
Of course it could be because of the medicine, but in fact, taking medicine for a hangover wasn’t particularly good for one’s health. Though drinking itself isn’t good for health.
“Don’t think about taking medicine and just make sure to eat snacks. And drink moderately in the first place.”
“But if I drink moderately, I don’t get drunk. If I’m not going to get drunk, I might as well not drink at all.”
Hyungnim said Lee Jiwoo was a drinker, but from what I saw, that was wrong information. Lee Jiwoo doesn’t enjoy drinking, he just stupidly and ignorantly pours alcohol into his stomach. For some unknown reason, just to get drunk.
I pondered and asked.
“Do you smoke too?”
When people face mental pain that’s hard to handle, they sometimes gain comfort by abusing their bodies. It was similar to self-harm. Like binge drinking like Lee Jiwoo, getting tattoos, or sleeping for days on end.
I’m not an expert, but I once relied on alcohol and cigarettes too, so I asked just in case.
“No, I don’t smoke cigarettes.”
“Ah, that’s fortunate…”
“But I’ve smoked marijuana before.”
“……”
I almost dropped the paper cup I was holding. Seeing my expression contort, Lee Jiwoo added.
“I only did it once and didn’t do it again.”
“……”
So it’s true that he does drugs.
I was really troubled. My mood got so bad I couldn’t understand why it was sinking so rapidly. I took a sip of half-cooled coffee and asked.
“Have you tried anything other than marijuana?”
“Other things?”
“Drugs.”
At my words, Lee Jiwoo stared at me blankly. Like when he was begging God to save him from his hangover was a dream, Lee Jiwoo’s eyes now were cool as usual. Maybe because I saw him throw that fit earlier, I wasn’t really scared anymore.
“Seoun.”
“Yes.”
He suddenly leaned his face forward and called me.
“If I said I’m actually such a serious addict that I can’t live without drugs, would you be a bit surprised?”
Of course I’d be fucking surprised. Just imagining it might make me faint in shock. Facing Lee Jiwoo who was staring at me quietly, I nodded.
“Yes, I would be.”
“You don’t seem very surprised.”
“Are you a drug addict?”
“Yeah.”
Is it a lie or the truth… Just looking at his tone, he doesn’t seem serious, but looking at Lee Jiwoo’s eyes, it also seems like it might be true… Why is this bastard always so difficult? Just say yes if it’s yes and no if it’s no.
“It’s like a drama. A drug addict.”
When I mumbled, Lee Jiwoo tilted his head.
“A drama?”
“That stuff comes out in dramas. Or movies.”
“Drugs aren’t only in dramas though.”
“Of course I know that too. But it’s hard to get drugs in Korea. There aren’t many people who do drugs either. Isn’t it like a drug-free country or something?”
I said it because I seemed to have seen it somewhere sometime, but Lee Jiwoo was pointlessly serious.
“That’s old news. These days it’s super easy to get.”
“Really? You know so much about it. Are you a drug doctor?”
“I’m a know-it-all. I have a degree too.”
“Congratulations, Dr. Lee. You must be very proud.”
Words came out sarcastically without me realizing. But Lee Jiwoo didn’t get upset and laughed.
“Are you interested by any chance?”
Of course not. Even if someone gave it to me for free, I didn’t want it. But I had an intuition that this might be a path to Lee Jiwoo’s secret.
I thought carefully and asked.
“If I said I was interested? Would Dr. Lee get it for me?”
“Of course. I can do at least that much for you.”
I couldn’t tell if this was sincere or not either. If someone else had said that, I would have naturally thought it was a joke, but the other person was Lee Jiwoo.
Then what if I ask him to get me one and he really brings drugs? I need to say something in response, but I can’t think of an appropriate answer. While I hesitated for a moment, Lee Jiwoo opened his mouth.
“So if you’re interested, tell me. Don’t ask other people to get it for you.”
What is this about now? Am I crazy? Ask other people to get me drugs? Looking at me being reluctant, Lee Jiwoo added.
“Don’t buy from strange places where you don’t even know the source and receive it through weird delivery or something.”
“……”
I was so flustered for a moment that I couldn’t even think to hide my feelings and flinched in surprise. There must have been a huge sign of surprise on my face too.
Could it be that Lee Jiwoo thinks I bought the drugs that were in that fish sauce container? I couldn’t pretend not to know anymore. I could keep playing dumb, but honestly, the probability of drug delivery being misdelivered to a private home seemed lower than winning the lottery.
But the matter was too serious to just laugh it off. What if he interrogates me about where I bought it? If Lee Jiwoo investigates the source of those drugs, he might notice hyungnim’s existence.
“These days drugs can be delivered by courier too? Like food delivery?”
Still, I decided to try playing dumb for now. When you think about it, this was actually something I really didn’t know. Because hyungnim sent it to our house out of the blue without even telling me.
“Seems like it.”
After saying it himself, Lee Jiwoo answered ambiguously as if he’d just found out too.
“Does Lee Jiwoo receive deliveries like that too? Do you pay delivery fees?”
“I don’t do that. That’s why I’m saying you shouldn’t either.”
“……”
“Don’t just accept and take anything anyone gives you.”
I desperately put on an expression of ‘What the hell is this bastard talking about?’ My facial muscles were about to spasm, but I had to endure it.
“At first I thought Minjun gave it to you.”
“…What? Why are you suddenly bringing up Minjun?”
“But it wasn’t.”
“……”
“Then who is it?”
Lee Jiwoo asked while staring at me intently. No, that wasn’t a question. His gaze was just directed at me, but it was talking to himself.
“What are you talking about? What about Minjun?”
“You’re popular, right? Usually these things have a high probability of being someone you know.”
Am I stupid? I had no idea what the hell Lee Jiwoo was talking about. Then I suddenly remembered when Lee Jiwoo came to our store with his grandfather a few days ago.
Didn’t he say something similar then? I think he said he came to see Minjun… Frowning heavily and staring at Lee Jiwoo, I asked just in case.
“Don’t tell me you thought Minjun gave me those drugs?”
“So you knew it was drugs?”
Ah, fuck. I was so flustered I made a slip of the tongue. But I was a student who, even though I wasn’t good at studying since school days, was quick-witted and excellent at thinking on my feet.
“Of course I didn’t know. Lee Jiwoo, you were the one who first told me something about three English letters or whatever. I don’t even remember now, but anyway, so I searched the internet and it was mulppong. Right?”
“Yeah, but why didn’t you say anything?”
At that question, I sighed.
“What was I supposed to say? What if sparks fly from pretending to know about that stuff and I get involved in something weird? There are times in the world when you have to pretend not to know even if you know. If you show off knowing things, you die first.”
“……”
“Haven’t you watched crime movies?”
Cold sweat was soaked behind my back as I clicked my tongue and shook my head. Lee Jiwoo stared at me without even blinking and didn’t say anything. His eyes were so cold like a Siberian north wind that I felt like I’d freeze to death.
When he was begging God to save him, it was ridiculous but at least cute, but now he’s like a fucking evil spirit whose intentions I don’t even know.
“Seoun.”
“Wait a moment.”
My heart beat crazily. I absolutely couldn’t manage my expression anymore. So I just gave up. I asked with an anxious expression without hiding my uneasiness.
“By any chance, should I have kept pretending not to know about this?”
“……”
“Th-then I’ll just keep pretending not to know, so if you could pretend you didn’t hear this…”
“……”
“Ah, is that not possible…”
With a desperate heart, as I was about to say I wouldn’t tell anyone, suddenly Lee Jiwoo reached out his hand. His palm very slowly touched my chest.
Near my heart.
