“Won’t you say anything?”
“…Sorry, hyung. I won’t do it again.”
“Okay. You were really surprised, weren’t you?”
Waaah. Yeongwoo started crying. I hugged Yeongwoo tightly and patted him while giving my gaze to what was behind Yeongwoo. My vision swayed. The teacher, noticing my gaze, looked at me with a worried face and took Yeongwoo away. The entire time leaving school, Yeongwoo sniffled while glancing at me, and the teacher held up her phone and waved it at me. It meant I had to contact her without fail.
“Chiwon, are you okay? The sound of you getting hit was really loud.”
As soon as Yeongwoo got away from me, Eorin approached. Around then, I was seeing two Eorins, so I grabbed Eorin’s arm and whispered quickly.
“Eorin, sorry but.”
“Hm? Wait, Chiwon.”
“Where Yeongwoo can’t see, I need to go to the nurse’s office…”
With those words, I staggered and leaned on Eorin, going limp. I was conscious but it hurt so much and I was so dizzy that I couldn’t stand properly. I had only been forcing myself to endure because of Yeongwoo. The sounds around me rang with a buzz.
“Chiwon, stay conscious!”
“What, did Chiwon collapse?”
“Nurse’s office, nurse’s office!”
The body of Eorin I was leaning on moved, and my body floated upward. It seemed Eorin had carried me on his back. The moment my consciousness cut off then came back, along with warm air, the smell of the nurse’s office wafted over strongly.
“Oh my, what happened?”
“He got hit in the head by a baseball, and he seems dizzy. It’s not serious, right?”
Eorin spat out in an unusually fast tone. No, was I feeling that way? Was time flowing quickly? Had I slowed down?
“First lay him down here. Chiwon, are you conscious?”
It was difficult to answer, so I moved my lips a few times then lost strength. My consciousness faded quickly.
I came to my senses again not long after. Looking at the clock, PE class was ending. When I blinked, Eorin who was next to me called the teacher.
“Chiwon, did you come to?”
“Yes.”
Thank goodness. The teacher said that while looking for something with a clatter, then approached me and changed the damp thing under the pillow. A cold feeling rose up.
“Are you still dizzy?”
“A little.”
“Do you hear ringing? A buzzing sound.”
“I heard it earlier but I think it’s okay now.”
“You don’t feel like throwing up?”
“No.”
“Try moving your hands and feet. Is there anywhere that won’t move?”
I wiggled my hands and feet. They were fine.
“That’s a relief. It seems like a mild concussion. But just in case, it would be good to leave early today and go to the hospital. Really, I can’t stop Teacher Jin. I told him not to use hardball.”
‘Teacher Jin’ was the PE teacher. Whether they were close with the nurse or not, the teacher diligently got angry at the PE teacher who wasn’t even there.
“You can lie here until the dizziness goes away. I’m going to go to the PE teachers’ office for a bit. He did come earlier to see you and left, but I need to say something to him one more time. If you suddenly feel like throwing up or your condition gets worse, contact me right away. You have my number, right?”
“Yes.”
Eorin held up his phone. In case of an unexpected situation, at the beginning of the school year, the nurse had gone around to all the classrooms once for health class and gave out her phone number. But at that time I still didn’t have a phone, so I didn’t have the teacher’s number.
The teacher left the nurse’s office, and only Eorin and I remained in the nurse’s office.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah.”
Being alone together, my heart helplessly pounded again. I fiddled with the edge of the blanket for no reason.
“Does it still hurt?”
At Eorin’s question, I thoughtlessly touched the back of my head and almost screamed. I felt a firmly swollen bump on the back of my head.
“Wow, I have a bump. It’s my first time getting a bump.”
“First time? You must have been really well-behaved when you were young. I was always getting bruises and bumps, it was chaos.”
“When you were young? So you mean not now?”
“Of course, you troublemaker. Where are you well-behaved? My heart can’t survive because of you. Do you know how surprised the kids in class were? Please worry about yourself.”
I laughed awkwardly, embarrassed. I had caused a lot of trouble. Just fainting alone was twice. Eorin reached his hand toward my head and gently stroked the bump.
“Ah, you really do have a bump.”
Being tense was unavoidable. I felt him gently stroking so it wouldn’t hurt. Because Eorin was reaching his hand to me, the space between us had gotten much closer.
“It’s the first time I’ve seen you angry. No, was that not anger but scolding?”
“I’m the oldest hyung. I do scold the younger siblings sometimes.”
“Chiwon hyung. It’s kind of strange.”
“What is? Do I not seem like a hyung?”
“No, that’s not it… It’s hard to explain.”
“What’s that.”
When I grumbled quietly, Eorin burst into laughter. Even until then, Eorin’s hand was touching my head.
I had to maintain this distance. A distance where Eorin could reach if he stretched out his hand, but I couldn’t reach if I stretched out mine.
This was the only way I could protect Eorin. From me, from the gazes around us. And this was also the only way I could protect the spot next to Eorin.
The nurse’s office with just the two of us felt like time had stopped. I only realized that wasn’t the case when I was startled by the bell signaling break time.
After midterms ended, the days got increasingly colder. As the semester was ending, the only big event left now was finals. There was an atmosphere of wrapping up the year in the classroom.
Recently, our homeroom teacher had individual consultations with the kids and recommended departments suitable for each person by combining grades, usual tendencies, and future aspirations. Junsu, who had been planning to go to humanities, changed his mind after the consultation and decided to go to sciences. He already liked taking photos enough to cry when he received a camera as a birthday gift a few days ago, but it was because of the teacher’s words asking if he’d ever thought about studying cameras themselves beyond just photography. Woojin, who didn’t like letters, was already science-oriented, so he was very happy when Junsu said he’d go to sciences. Eorin decided to stay in humanities as is, and so did I. Humanities and sciences were split from different floors, so forget being in the same class, it would be difficult to even run into each other, but it was okay. Because I learned that if we wanted to meet, we could meet anytime.
Thinking about it, this one year was like a miracle. Starting from being in the same class as Eorin. The probability of being in the same class next year was low, but still, I was secretly hoping for it. Sometimes even when I was tired, struggling, and depressed, I liked Eorin so much that I’d smile just seeing his face.
“Guys, get home safe!”
“Yeah. Take care. See you tomorrow.”
“Should we go too?”
“Yeah. Ah, it’s cold.”
“Look over there, the stars are out.”
“Ah, really. Winter really is coming. The days got really short. The stars are pretty, should we look at them a bit more before we go?”
“It’s cold, so hurry home, Chiwon. You’ll catch a cold. Come wearing a coat tomorrow and look then.”
“I just forgot today and came out, then it was annoying so I just came like this. I’ll dress warmly tomorrow.”
“Okay. But the stars really are pretty.”
“Ah, that’s Orion. Can you see it?”
My breath spread out white. While chatting softly about stars with Eorin, as soon as I sniffled, Eorin hastened his steps. That November night when I waved to Eorin and returned to the orphanage, I went into heat cycle.
Since the last time I experienced it was in summer, it had been exactly half a year. As soon as I realized it was a heat cycle, I went to the back room instead of taking medicine this time too. I was able to spend the heat cycle much more calmly than in summer, probably because the way I acknowledged my feelings had changed was the biggest reason. I knew that among my feelings of liking Eorin, there were aspects sensual and sticky enough to be difficult to show. That the fence I had set up in the middle of my heart before was actually a line I’d drawn myself. I knew that if I crossed that line, I wouldn’t be able to control my feelings.
I was a hyperthermic omega. But this heat cycle was a bit long. The feverish heat didn’t subside easily, and I opened my eyes on the third day of entering the back room.
Those three days. While I faced my inner self in that small room, the world had completely turned upside down.
Thinking about it, the days had been strangely peaceful. More than someone adrift like me deserved.
When I came out of the room, the atmosphere of the orphanage was strange. The teachers were gathered endlessly discussing something, and the younger siblings, sensing the atmosphere, were being quiet while watching the teachers. Wondering what happened, I opened my phone out of habit and only learned of the situation after seeing the news.
What was written in the news headline was ‘Haebam Group Embezzlement.’
Was the Haebam Group I knew this Haebam Group? It was horribly unrealistic. The thought that came to me with a thud was worry about Eorin. I first tried reading the news. Detailed circumstances weren’t given, but it seemed the person suspected of embezzlement was someone who was Eorin’s uncle. After going abroad, his whereabouts were unclear, and they said since the embezzled amount wasn’t small and there were clearly backers, a large-scale investigation into Haebam Group would be conducted. After learning that much, when I immediately called Eorin, I couldn’t reach him. Messenger, text, everything.
I opened my eyes on Saturday. So I spent the whole weekend anxiously waiting only for Monday. Seeing Eorin’s face, asking if he was okay… Those kinds of things were all I could do, but still I was so anxious I couldn’t bear it.
However, it was a naive thought. Eorin didn’t come to school. After that too, continuously.
Junsu and Woojin said they hadn’t heard any news either. An ominous atmosphere circulated at school. Both because the school chairman was the Haebam Group chairman, and because Eorin, who was part of that family, was in our class. When I checked just in case, they said from the day Eorin stopped coming to school, Kim Jaeui also stopped attending.
Day after day, the news was filled with talk about Haebam Group embezzlement. Eorin’s uncle still hadn’t been found, and they said Eorin’s father, being his brother, was being investigated to prove he wasn’t involved in the embezzlement. Wild stories circulated that Eorin’s uncle had caused a lot of trouble and fell out of the chairman’s favor, so he couldn’t be in a high position and moved around here and there within the company, and that accumulated and accumulated until it exploded.
While my heart raced watching news with many unfavorable stories about Haebam Group, I couldn’t let go of my phone in case news about Eorin might also appear in the news. Perhaps because public opinion was boiling over, the investigation proceeded quickly. Eorin’s father continued to be investigated and it became clear he wasn’t involved in the embezzlement. Looking at the revealed circumstances, it seemed Eorin’s father had been deceived by his younger brother. But the comments attached to that article were full of talk like ‘how can you believe that’ and ‘they’re all in it together.’
