After finals ended and before vacation came, the atmosphere flowing through the school was relaxed. There were no upcoming exams and though there were supplementary classes, they ended in the morning, so the kids greeted the closing ceremony with relaxed faces. As I left the classroom with my first semester report card, emergency contact network, and vacation notice, the hot air hit my face all at once.
August. The peak of summer.
“Since we’re getting out early, it feels like vacation and it’s nice.”
“It really is vacation though.”
“What vacation when we rest for three days and come back for supplementary classes?”
I was staring blankly at some class’s kids grumbling as they passed by when a touch landed on my back.
“Chiwon-ah, let’s go.”
“Yeah.”
Even though August came, Eorin diligently wore his summer uniform shirt. Woojin and I were always in gym clothes, and Junsu walked around wearing only a black short-sleeved shirt. On the other hand, even today on the closing ceremony, Eorin was in a shirt.
Woojin left first saying his mother came to pick him up, and Junsu remained in the classroom grumbling but with a face that wasn’t particularly displeased, saying his older sister and brother took time off for vacation and were coming to buy him food. So it was just Eorin and me leaving the classroom.
I liked months when the seasons were felt vividly. August was one of them. And today was truly like a day with summer transplanted as is.
“I like summer.”
At my muttering, Eorin looked back at me.
“I haven’t really heard you say you like something first.”
“Really?”
With an embarrassed face, I readjusted my bag. I was lacking in words. Eorin always told me that, but it was hard to fix.
“Unless you’re asking ‘how about this,’ you hardly talk. There are exactly three things you’ve said you like so far. Basketball, teddy bears, and summer.”
“I guess I have…… things where I’m fine either way. I didn’t know.”
“So when I look at you.”
Eorin, who had been speaking, suddenly closed his mouth. When I looked at Eorin while wiping the sweat on my forehead from the sunlight pouring down with the cicada sounds, Eorin gazed down at me quietly then shook his head saying it was nothing.
“But why do you like summer?”
“Mm…… Because it’s vivid.”
Right, it was vivid. I couldn’t describe summer more clearly than that. Everything about summer was intense. The piercing heat or sunlight, or the heated air, or smells. And insect cries, even the air or colors of night.
A heavy wind blew. Eorin’s hair, which had grown a little as the seasons passed, swayed. When I was next to Eorin, each moment came at me as if being engraved. The middle of summer, even the sweat flowing down the nape of my neck was vivid. The smell of Eorin’s shirt hem or his hair where sunlight shattered, the vanilla scent faintly reaching the tip of my nose.
This trivial moment, returning after the closing ceremony.
I thought I wouldn’t forget this moment. Eorin piled up densely with each season. Spring and summer were all being filled with Eorin.
Eorin’s fingertips lightly touched my wrist. The moment I looked back at Eorin, I heard a voice from behind.
“Young master.”
“……Ah, uncle.”
“I came to pick you up, but if you have plans, shall I return?”
He was a gentleman of considerable age. The person dressed in a suit seemed to know Eorin, and from what I could see, he seemed to have come to pick up Eorin. Behind him was a black car and someone who also wore a suit but had a large build who appeared to be a bodyguard. Instantly a line was drawn. From here was Eorin’s world. When I tried to step back, Eorin firmly grasped my wrist. I was held in Eorin’s world just like that.
“Did father say he was coming early today?”
“That’s not it, but since you’re on vacation, he said to at least eat out.”
“You didn’t make a reservation, right?”
“No.”
As soon as he heard the answer, Eorin looked back at me and said.
“Chiwon-ah, want to go hang out with me?”
“No…… don’t you have to go?”
“No.”
Eorin grinned.
“I’m sorry you came on purpose. I’ll spend more time with my friend and then go back.”
“If you have a separate place to go, I’ll take you there.”
“Mm……”
“Eorin-ah, you don’t have to worry about me and can go. Your father…… didn’t he do something?”
I wasn’t sure, but it seemed like that. That gentleman was a driver who came to take Eorin somewhere. But Eorin gently swayed my wrist that he was holding.
“At least eat lunch with me. I don’t want to eat alone.”
“Ah……”
That’s, still…… With a slightly troubled face looking around, I made eye contact with the driver. But unexpectedly, he smiled kindly at me.
“Let’s go together. Okay?”
When Eorin coaxed me with such an innocent face, I couldn’t resist. Relying on the friendly smile shown to me by the first person I’d met who lived in Eorin’s world, I nodded slightly.
“Is there anything you want to eat?”
“No, what about you?”
“Mm…… Want to go eat ramen? Is that okay?”
“Yeah.”
Actually, I’d never eaten food called ramen, not ramyeon.
“You mean your usual place, right? I’ll take you there.”
The driver opened the car door. Is this what they call an escort? Eorin’s appearance naturally accepting the escort was unfamiliar. I suddenly realized. That there were many sides of Eorin he deliberately didn’t show me. That was probably for my sake.
Not knowing what greeting to give the driver who was smiling while waiting for me to get in, I bowed my head.
“I’m sorry. Thank you.”
“Not at all.”
When I sat next to Eorin, the driver who closed the door chuckled and got in the driver’s seat, and lastly the bodyguard uncle got in the passenger seat. Only after the car started did I remember that I forgot to let them know at the orphanage that I’d eat lunch and come in. I was that out of it. After hurriedly sending a text to the teacher, I caught my breath. Eorin talked to me with a slightly excited face about what menu items were delicious there.
“Eorin, you…… look happy.”
“Ah.”
With an ‘oops’ face, Eorin touched his face.
“Sorry. Was I noisy? I thought I’d be eating alone today, but since you’re coming with me……”
“No. If you’re happy……”
“Yeah, I’m happy. But Chiwon-ah, after we eat, can we play a little more before going?”
Eorin seemed especially cheerful today and was especially acting cute.
“I’ll ask.”
“Thanks.”
Eorin smiled.
Thinking about it, it was amazing that just having me by his side made Eorin not lonely. It was ironic that while feelings of liking alone felt insufficient no matter how much I filled it, there were moments when just being positioned nearby was enough.
Unrequited love is overwhelming just to continue. But feeling love for someone was surprisingly easy. I struggled desperately to maintain distance, but Eorin placed me by his side all too easily. It was a series of ironies.
Things that come true without even wishing for them make you scared you might suddenly lose them one day. That’s what I thought in spring. Even now that the season changed and it became summer, that thought hadn’t changed much. But I learned to accept it. In the world, there are things that suddenly come to you like gifts. I decided to regard today as a gift.
The driver who dropped us off in front of the ramen shop told Eorin to contact him when going back. Then instead of just leaving, he looked at me and smiled faintly.
“I’m counting on you to take good care of our young master.”
“Ah, no. I’m the one who, uh……”
“No, our young master is the one indebted.”
“Ah, uncle. Why are you like this?”
While I momentarily forgot what to say and hesitated, the driver who noticed what I was trying to say returned the answer. Eorin pushed the driver’s back with an awkward face.
After seeing off the driver who stood in front of the car and bowed, we entered the shop. Opening the sliding door with glass windows on wooden lattice and entering, a delicious smell hit all at once. Eorin, who sat at the inner table, picked up the menu that was stuck there.
“I’ll buy for you, Chiwon-ah. Earlier uncle gave me allowance saying father gave it.”
“I have allowance too.”
“Then can I mooch dessert from you?”
Anyway, he was going to buy the meal. Unable to stop Eorin who was smiling brightly, I just nodded. It seemed I should leave today to Eorin. I was relieved that the price written on the menu I glimpsed wasn’t that expensive.
“What do you want to eat? Shoyu ramen is delicious. And chashu rice bowl. Gyoza too.”
“……I don’t know any of that.”
“Ah, is this your first time having ramen? Then let’s order all three and share.”
“Three things?”
“It’s okay, it’s okay. Gyoza is just dumplings anyway.”
Eorin raised his hand to call the employee and ordered this and that menu item. The employee disappeared with the menu, and soon pickled garlic-like things, pink ginger, and pickled radish were placed on the table.
“Is this garlic?”
“It’s similar but it’s called rakkyo.”
“I see.”
The sour and crunchy taste was delicious. As I was chewing the rakkyo, Eorin poured water into a cup and handed it to me.
“After we eat this, where should we go?”
“Uh…… where do you want to go?”
“Want to go where you want to go?”
“I’m not good at choosing things like that.”
“Think about it slowly.”
I started pondering while chewing on the chopsticks in my mouth. The only things that came to mind were a movie theater or cafe. But today’s Eorin seemed too excited to just sit still in places like that.
“I can only think of a cafe.”
“A cafe is good too.”
“Is that really okay?”
“Of course.”
After eating, the two of us at a cafe…… I suddenly realized. This is totally like a date. I struggled desperately to suppress the suddenly excited feelings.
“Don’t you go anywhere with your younger siblings?”
“Yeah. Even Chanhyeong, who’s relatively older, became a middle schooler now, and at that age, I think he’d like hanging out with friends more than hyung. And once they start going out, it’ll be uncontrollable. Since it’s not just one or two.”
“Still, it must be nice. I’m an only child so it looks nice to have it a bit bustling. My house is quiet.”
“You have a dog and cat though, right?”
“Yeah. I don’t know what would have happened without them. Ah, you know our Chari. The cat. She’s so smart she opens closed doors herself. Want to see?”
“A cat opens doors? I’ve never seen that.”
“Look at this.”
Eorin showed me a video on his phone. The cat who had been moving its body while looking at the handle as if measuring distance jumped and hung on the handle, and soon the handle turned and the door opened.
“Wow.”
“She does well, right?”
“Yeah.”
I replayed the video several times. While I was fascinated, the food came out.
