In the end, driven by a strong impulse, I ran to the mart. The place was like heaven. There was an overflowing amount of the alcohol I wanted stacked up.
I reached out and picked up a bottle of alcohol. I imagined opening the cap and shoving it deep into my throat. Then all the problems I had would be erased for a short while. I could spend a night in a world without worries or disgust. It would definitely feel good.
But what comes after? I also knew well the bitter reality after the fantasy breaks.
‘This useless bastard! My head’s already killing me and you’re loitering around causing a fuss. Get lost!’
Dad’s voice jumping out from the afterimage of the past shakes me. Around him, green empty bottles were rolling around.
I quietly looked down at the green bottle of alcohol I was holding.
“Excuse me.”
Someone cut in front of me and took alcohol from the display shelf. Only then did I come to my senses as if waking from a dream.
I eventually turned my steps around. While holding onto the long-standing resolution not to become like Dad.
Today it was a particularly difficult decision.
***
I heard the news that Kwon Yujin had won gold medals in two other events as well. The competition ended successfully like that.
However, even after several days had passed since the competition ended, there was no contact from Kwon Yujin. There was no reply to the congratulatory text I sent either.
Had he returned to Korea? I was also curious whether he might be training again by now.
In the meantime, when I didn’t take the sedatives the doctor prescribed, my body gradually worsened. My solar plexus churned and I often felt dizzy.
As if not being able to control my own pheromones wasn’t enough, now I had reached the point where even other people’s pheromones bothered me. Unlike before, I would react sensitively without even realizing it.
For instance, a passerby’s pheromones would be so strong that I’d feel them as aggressive, or they’d be unbearably uncomfortable so I’d immediately leave that spot.
As someone who usually had no ailments and was easygoing, it was difficult to adapt to this state.
I had been fine working on-site six days a week, but lately whenever I got up I felt dizzy and couldn’t put strength into my body well. Nevertheless, I had to work to earn living expenses.
After much deliberation, I called Park Seongwoo.
—Oh, Hyun Taeyoung. Are you alive? Why haven’t I seen you around lately?
Park Seongwoo was very pleased to hear from me.
“I’m alive. I called because I wanted to ask you something.”
—You’re asking me? What is it?
“That hotel job you recommended last time. Can I still do it?”
—Hotel job, what was that again? Ah, the hotel buffet part-time job?
Park Seongwoo said as if he had just remembered.
—Looks like you finally feel like doing it. But why all of a sudden?
“I need to earn living expenses. I’d like to do it short-term for about a week.”
—What about the on-site work? The foreman ahjussi really fucking likes you.
“My body hasn’t been well lately, so I’m trying to do easier work.”
—True, manual labor is brutal if you keep at it. I’ll give you the manager’s number, so try contacting them. Do you have a resume?
I did have one I wrote when looking for carpentry work before, but I wasn’t sure if it would help with hotel employment.
“I have one.”
—First, try sending your resume to the email I’ll tell you.
“Email?”
—Yeah, email. …You don’t know how to send one?
“I know. I have an email address too. But I don’t know how to send a resume.”
Park Seongwoo couldn’t continue speaking for a while. He seemed to be pondering something, then after a brief silence, he presented a different solution.
—Just text me the resume file and I’ll forward it to the manager.
“Okay.”
—Hey, that’s right. And are you going to wear a mask there too?
“Yeah.”
Park Seongwoo laughed as if he knew it, going “hehe.”
—Then you can bullshit them saying you caught a bad cold. Oh, but you absolutely can’t wear a hat. That much is okay, right?
“Yeah.”
—Anyway, send me the text.
“Okay. Thanks.”
Park Seongwoo told me to buy him a meal later if I was grateful, then hung up.
***
As a result, with Park Seongwoo’s help, I was able to get a short-term hotel part-time job. It was strange that I got picked even though I had never done service-related work.
I heard later that even at good hotels, parts where the work is hard and busy have difficulty finding people, so it’s actually easier to get in as a short-term part-timer.
There was still no contact from Kwon Yujin, so after worrying about it, I eventually took the sedatives. I had no choice if I wanted to work.
After introducing myself and briefly explaining what I could do, the manager assigned me to the hotel wedding hall. I was told I would assist with wedding preparations and proceedings.
The hotel wedding hall was very large and grand. There were so many flowers that all around was full of their fragrance. The exterior looked splendid and clean, but the space where staff stayed was complicated and chaotic.
“Okay, try it again. More gently. Dear customer, how do you do? Thank you for visiting our hotel.”
“Dear customer. How do you do. Thank you for visiting our hotel.”
I followed the lines the manager just said as best I could, but the manager’s complexion gradually darkened. It was the same no matter how many times I repeated it.
“Haa. This won’t work. Taeyoung-ssi is too blunt to put on the main floor. It’s right for you to go to BOH. Just go over there and ask for different work.”
“Yes.”
The work I had to do included carrying and arranging wedding hall tables one by one, then setting tableware, collecting waste, and other miscellaneous tasks. In between, I also took on work fixing lighting or stage equipment.
“Taeyoung-nim, you know how to do this too? At this rate, you could come into our setup side.”
After I finished the assigned work, the setup team manager subtly asked if I had any intention of continuing the work. I drew a line saying I was planning to do it short-term, but he seemed disappointed.
That said, I couldn’t hold onto this topic and converse for long. The wedding ceremony was scheduled to start soon.
Soon guests began gathering one by one at the reception desk. When the wedding started, I was instructed to do dishes or odd jobs on the buffet side, so I had to leave the ceremony hall now. However, the manager urgently held me back.
“Wait a moment, Taeyoung-ssi. You said you know how to do repair work, right?”
“Yes.”
“This is the table that will go out supporting the cake, but the wheels underneath seem stiff. The direction isn’t working well either.”
“May I take a look?”
“Come further inside so the customers don’t see you.”
When I lifted the cloth covering the table and checked underneath, the wheel bearing part was broken. If the cake or other items were placed on the table and it passed over the carpet, the resistance would increase and the wheels would have even more difficulty rolling.
It wasn’t a serious breakdown. I brought tools and realigned the caster axle fixation state, then injected lubricant into the bearing to reduce friction. Then the wheels immediately rolled properly.
“It’s done.”
“Thank you. Sorry to bother you when you’re busy. Go to the kitchen quickly.”
The manager smiled and patted my back.
The employees in the buffet kitchen looked frantic. They had to move ingredients, trim them, stir food in huge pots, and endlessly fill large water containers and beverage containers.
Of course, it was easier than on-site work. There were many small tasks to do and it was uncomfortable working while bumping into various people, but the labor intensity was much lower on this side.
As I dealt with the tasks people asked me to do here and there one by one, time passed quite quickly. I was wiping the sweat that had formed on my forehead when female employees holding empty plates entered the kitchen.
“Kwon Yujin’s height was way taller than I thought, wasn’t it? When I congratulated him on winning the gold medal, he said thank you.”
Kwon Yujin? At the familiar name, I unknowingly turned my head.
“I’m jealous…. I want to try talking to him too, but I think the manager will scold me.”
“But how did he end up coming?”
“I think it’s an acquaintance’s wedding. We can’t secretly take pictures, right?”
“Are you crazy? Hold back.”
“Ah, I want to hurry and talk about it in the group chat.”
The employees put down the plates and went back outside the kitchen. The surroundings quickly filled again with the sound of dishes bumping against each other.
I looked toward the door the employees had left through while mulling over what I had just heard.
Kwon Yujin is here? I expected he would have come to Korea, but I didn’t think we’d meet in a place like this.
Of course, Kwon Yujin doesn’t know I’m here.
Since I had to stay only in the kitchen, I couldn’t go out to confirm whether Kwon Yujin had really come, but after that, every employee I encountered passed by saying a word about him.
