***
After all the acts were finished, hunger came rushing in. I’d left in a hurry in the morning and didn’t eat properly, and on top of skipping lunch and having sex with Kwon Yujin, I had no strength left in my body at all.
If we do it one more time here, I’ll probably faint like last time. I was also worried that if we stayed stuck together like this, Kwon Yujin might react again.
After catching my breath for a while with our naked bodies pressed closely together, I eventually got up from my position.
“I’m hungry. You?”
“Not really.”
Kwon Yujin shrugged his shoulders. Then he looked up at me while still lying down.
“Did you already eat dinner?”
“I came straight here after afternoon training, so not yet.”
“Then let’s eat together.”
“Ah, but I don’t feel like it.”
Kwon Yujin gathered up the blanket I slept under and buried his head in it. It’s somehow an action the young Kwon Yujin would do, so I almost laughed without realizing it.
“Still, you should eat.”
“Just lie down more.”
When I tried to go to the kitchen, Kwon Yujin grabbed my wrist and pulled me toward him.
“Whoa.”
Normally I wouldn’t have been dragged by this much force, but today I was particularly weak, so I collapsed right on top of Kwon Yujin. When I tried to get back up, Kwon Yujin wrapped his arm around my waist to prevent me from going. As our sweaty naked bodies touched, it felt a bit uncomfortable and strange.
“Not anymore. I might die if we do more.”
“You won’t die from something like this.”
I’d said it seriously, but Kwon Yujin seemed to have taken it as a joke and chuckled. Then he grabbed my chin and turned it this way and that, constantly observing my face in a burdensome way.
“Did you treat your acne?”
“No.”
“Then? You weren’t like this before.”
“It gradually disappeared as I grew.”
As the conversation direction flowed to the topic of skin, I became uncomfortable. Regardless, Kwon Yujin kept poking my cheeks with the fingers that cupped my face.
“When you first took off your mask at our house, I didn’t recognize you.”
“……”
“Honestly, I thought you were a different person.”
“…Is it very strange?”
I hesitated and then asked with a bit of courage. I couldn’t quite look directly at Kwon Yujin and say it, so I kept my gaze fixed on his chin.
That short moment of waiting for an answer felt terribly long. My heart, which had been calm, started beating rapidly again. Unfortunately, I was lying on top of Kwon Yujin with our chests pressed together, so he must have immediately noticed my change.
“Yeah. It’s really strange.”
“……”
“So from now on, make sure to wear your mask when you go around.”
“…Okay.”
I abruptly got up. Since the arm restraining my waist had almost completely loosened its strength, this time I could easily escape from Kwon Yujin’s embrace. I immediately put on my mask and clothes appropriately, then tidied up the surroundings. Then I took out the ingredients I’d organized in the refrigerator.
The inside of my throat tickled and stung at the same time from that conversation just now. It was also embarrassingly unbearable. Why? Did I expect an answer from Kwon Yujin saying it wasn’t strange?
Even though there’s no way Kwon Yujin read my mind, my face burned as if my inner feelings had been exposed for no reason.
Anyway, I wanted to make a proper dish, but the ingredients weren’t suitable. I should have done proper grocery shopping while I was at the mart. The only thing I could make was the egg fried rice I ate every day.
I heated up instant rice and put all the eggs from the refrigerator into the frying pan. Then I stir-fried them with onions.
“What, is that a week’s worth of rice? Why are you making so much?”
When I heated up seven instant rice packs and put them in the frying pan, Kwon Yujin asked. The lodging was so cramped that he could see everything even while lying in bed.
“Don’t you eat this much? There’s two of us.”
“Huh.”
The cooking finished quickly. I pressed the egg fried rice tightly into soup bowls along with water from the sink and set it on the table.
Kwon Yujin had already put on his pants and was sitting in a chair at the table. Fortunately, it seems his mind changed even though he said he wouldn’t eat. Instead of starting the meal right away, he just looked at the food for a few seconds.
“What about you?”
Then he soon pointed out that there was no rice in front of me.
“I’m not eating.”
“Didn’t you say you were hungry?”
“I’ll eat after you leave.”
I absolutely didn’t have the confidence to sit facing Kwon Yujin with my bare face and eat. I’d done even worse things than eating with him just moments ago, but that didn’t mean I’d become comfortable facing him without a mask.
“Don’t talk nonsense and eat now.”
“I’m really fine though….”
I think I can hold out for a few more hours. Although I had no energy.
I stared intently at Kwon Yujin as if telling him to hurry up and eat. I felt better immediately at the thought of watching him eat.
“If you don’t eat, I’m just going to leave.”
“Huh?”
“I’m leaving. Take care.”
“Wait a minute.”
Screech. The sound of Kwon Yujin pulling his chair as he stood up pierced my ears like a bolt from the blue.
“I’ll eat. I’m going to eat. So don’t go.”
I urgently grabbed Kwon Yujin’s arm. It was an unconscious action because I was afraid he’d really leave like that since he never listens to what I say.
“……”
“……”
In that moment, Kwon Yujin’s pheromones surged, and I hurriedly let go of his hand. After taking that drug, I strangely react too sensitively to pheromones. I also felt overwhelmed by the dull nerves becoming sharply on edge.
Whether my request worked or not, Kwon Yujin sat back down and started eating. As if to show me, he scooped up a big spoonful of fried rice with his spoon, took a bite, and then tilted his chin as if telling me to eat quickly too.
I had no choice but to turn around and put egg fried rice on a plate for myself to eat. I also carefully took off my mask. Like that, I ate while sitting facing him.
Kwon Yujin focused quietly on his meal without any particular evaluation of the food. Just watching him eat well was entertaining. So my gaze kept going to him. Actually, I stuffed rice into my mouth without taking my eyes off him even once.
For me, who still sometimes dreams of the child whose plump cheeks had disappeared from being starved all day, just watching Kwon Yujin eat well made me very pleased.
That wasn’t the only pleasing thing. The current Kwon Yujin was healthy. His height was much taller than mine, and unlike my hands full of small wounds and calluses, his hands were very soft. When we had sex, I’d looked everywhere—there were no wounds anywhere on his face or body. Whether as a child or now, Kwon Yujin was still like a princess. It was really a proud thing.
“Don’t look at me when eating.”
After staring persistently without even blinking, I ended up getting scolded by Kwon Yujin.
“Okay.”
I lowered my head and reluctantly averted my gaze. I wanted to look at him to my heart’s content. How disappointing.
“You said you were hungry earlier. Don’t pick at it, eat.”
Only then did I scoop up a big spoonful of egg fried rice and put it in my mouth. While chewing, I was sneaking glances at those smooth, long hands when at some point, the motion of Kwon Yujin’s hand holding the spoon stopped abruptly.
Startled, I took a deep breath. Was I not allowed to look at his hands either?
“Do you mainly cook your own meals?”
“Yeah.”
My voice didn’t come out well because my mouth was full of rice. I nodded my head while still keeping my gaze fixed on his left pinky finger.
“What do you make?”
“Fried rice.”
“What else?”
What else? It was a somewhat unfamiliar question since I’d never thought deeply about my eating habits. When I listed the foods I ate in my head, what I’d told Kwon Yujin today was almost everything. Egg fried rice, apples, bananas. And….
“Sometimes I also buy lunch boxes or kimbap from the convenience store.”
After worrying and giving an answer, Kwon Yujin was silent. He didn’t move his spoon anymore either.
Should I check his face? Or not? While I was thinking that, this time Kwon Yujin just put his spoon down on the table.
“If you’re going to eat something like that, you might as well order food instead.”
“…But fried rice is delicious.”
Did Kwon Yujin really not like it? I checked Kwon Yujin’s rice bowl, which still had more than half left, and became a bit dejected. I probably had an unpleasant face again, so I just stayed still without daring to check.
Hmm. If fried rice doesn’t taste good, what should I make next time? I was fine eating the same thing for three meals a day, but if Kwon Yujin didn’t like it, I needed to change to a different menu. I’ll have to think about this more later.
“Was training okay?”
To change the subject, I brought up the training talk that I hadn’t gotten an answer to earlier.
I’m still really curious about a lot of things. Whether the symptoms he mentioned before had improved, whether his records were okay, when he’d start treatment, and so on. However, as someone without much eloquence, it wasn’t easy to unravel all these questions at once.
Kwon Yujin opened his mouth while holding a water cup.
