# Chapter 84
My body twisted unnaturally like a broken doll. Only when a moist liquid touched my cheek did I realize I had collapsed into a pool of blood I had created myself. The pungent smell of blood overwhelmed me all at once. With each shallow cough, droplets of blood fell from my mouth along with shallow breaths. I hadn’t noticed my throat burning, but my mouth was filled with blood, vibrating with a nauseating metallic taste.
For a moment, my brain stopped functioning. I couldn’t think of anything but the pain. I couldn’t comprehend where I was lying, what I needed to do right away, or who I was trying so desperately to save. My empty mind was only gradually coming to terms with the sight of myself drenched in blood.
How much time had passed? The pain that wouldn’t stop even when I poured medicine on it disappeared in an instant, melting like snow. I could breathe normally again, but my body was still trembling from the shock. What had just happened was difficult to accept. The poison ran wild noisily, as if announcing that I didn’t have much life left. It had waited silently, then seized its opportunity without hesitation. It devoured me, sacrificing itself to remind me of what I had forgotten. It mercilessly trampled my chest and squeezed my throat. Thanks to this, as I looked at the blood pouring from my body, I could painfully remember the obvious fact that I had momentarily overlooked.
The fact that I was going to die.
My body, which had reached its limit, crumbled helplessly, making its previous period of calm seem meaningless. I moved my stiff legs forcefully, suppressing a scream. I barely managed to brace myself against the wall with my trembling hands. After slow but steady effort, I was able to stand my weakened body upright. Only then did I remember that Devan would return soon. Before my eyes, the terribly spread red pool shone vividly, as if testifying to my pain.
I emerged from the wall where I had been hiding and struggled to move as far away as possible. When I lowered my head because my badly scraped knees were stinging, the world spun horribly. I suppressed the feeling of nausea and tried to regain my balance. Only after overcoming several precarious moments was I able to move far from the vivid red without collapsing back to the floor.
“Ludin?”
Devan, who had reappeared, frowned when he discovered me standing awkwardly in front of the water basin. I blocked his view as I prayed that the red-tinged water I had used to rinse my mouth would drain away safely.
“What’s wrong with your face?”
“…”
“Is this… blood?”
What he pointed to was a stain on my clothes that I hadn’t completely wiped away. That crimson pattern left a faint mark no matter how much I rubbed and patted it. In the end, it half-revealed its true nature along with a dark gray stain from the water. It seemed even more foolish to have hoped he wouldn’t notice it. I continued to cover that spot with my still-trembling hands.
“It’s nothing.”
“Come here.”
Devan gestured with a frightening expression. When I backed away hesitantly, he approached with quick steps and examined my body all over. Devan’s gaze gently swept over my exhausted body.
“Are you hurt? Is it from a wound?”
“I, I fell.”
“What? How did that happen?”
My confused mind wouldn’t work properly. Devan looked at me worriedly as I stood frozen, unable to come up with an excuse. He carefully examined the wound exposed through the tear in my pants, then lightly waved his hand. The stinging cut immediately warmed up as new flesh began to grow.
“…How was it around Arzel?”
My attempt to change the subject was too obvious. Naturally, Devan didn’t let it go, instead grabbing my hand. The trembling wouldn’t subside, revealing my anxiety completely even within his hand. His expression changed from concern to determination as he stared at my unsteady gaze.
“This won’t do. Let’s go back.”
“No!”
I desperately pulled his hand away.
“No, Devan. If we go back now, it’s over.”
“What’s over?”
The truth burst out inadvertently. Devan shook my shoulders with a hardened face.
“What do you mean by ‘it’s over’?”
“Ti-time is running out. If we go back, we won’t be able to come here again. And we don’t know how Luan will move now. We need to meet him before Arzel reveals the information.”
“Haa…”
He sighed. He seemed to be considering it, and I wanted to persuade him more, but no more words came out. If we went back now, Kadilen and Jiman would surely tie me to a sickbed. While they were concerned about my condition, Luan and Arzel would continue to initiate their activities. If we missed this opportunity, the poison might spread further in Rio’s body before Kadilen could even start his backup plan. And for me too… I didn’t have much time left. The worse my body got, the more urgent my mind became.
“Then let’s rest a little before going. There’s no need to go right away.”
“No.”
“I can’t give in on this. If you want to go, go alone.”
Devan said sharply. His cold gaze left no room for negotiation. I accepted that this was the final compromise given his unyielding attitude. Eventually, Devan led me, having lowered my tail in defeat, somewhere.
“Where are we going?”
“I know a place. It’s safe. Go there and rest, even if just for a moment. Please.”
With his softened tone, I relaxed and moved as he guided me. A faint dizziness remained, but the pain had completely disappeared, perhaps due to the medicine finally taking effect. Trying to erase the soaked blood from my complicated mind, I quietly followed behind Devan as he walked without hesitation. Throughout our journey, he never once let go of my hand. I hadn’t noticed because of my surprise and urgency, but now I could see that his hand was also gripping more tightly than usual.
The place Devan took me to was a quiet grass field. If you cross a hill full of pampas grass and walk along the river, there’s a small plain where you can barely see the tip of the castle’s pointed spire. He walked through the grass path with familiar steps. It wasn’t a long distance, but since there was no established path, it was particularly devoid of human presence even in the already sparsely populated castle. The grass, growing as it pleased, was scattered chaotically, untouched by anyone’s footsteps. Devan sat down in the middle of that green and free-spirited pile of grass. I too lowered myself onto the soft grassland as my center of gravity suddenly dropped while holding his hand.
“Did you take your medicine?”
“Yes.”
The effect of the painkiller I had hastily taken was finally setting in. My body was becoming not just comfortable but languid with relaxation. Devan patted the cushiony ground where the grass had tangled together.
“Get some sleep. I’ll wake you before sunset.”
“Was Wimu alright?”
“Yes. He’s been keeping watch, but nothing unusual has happened yet. Arzel is still inside the castle. No more questions now. Lie down.”
He reported the results quickly and then forcibly laid me down. My body slid backwards even with his gentle pressure. Devan quietly looked at me as I lay with the grass as my pillow. Then soon a warm hand approached and covered my face.
“Thank you.”
After a moment of seeing the darkness in my obscured vision, I feebly let go of my exhausted mind.
* * *
When I opened my eyes again, I saw Devan keeping watch beside me with a forlorn expression. He was somehow gazing into the distance with a rather sunken mood. Even after waking from sleep, I couldn’t call his name right away, as he seemed so unfamiliar. I thought he might be worried about my health, but I soon realized. It was a new look I had never seen before.
“Devan.”
I finally called him. Devan turned his head toward me at my soft call. Though he seemed to be making an effort, his expression wasn’t much different from before. I returned the same concern I had received from him as I gazed at him intently.
“Why are you up already? Rest more.”
“No. I feel better.”
I replied out of habit. But in reality, it was impossible for my body to naturally improve anymore. While my heart, which had been beating unsteadily during my light sleep, had calmed down significantly, I couldn’t forget the scattered bloodstains. It was both a warning of death given to me and liquid proof that even my last line of defense had faded away. I was standing at the edge of my limit.
It was a precarious situation, but I couldn’t immediately suggest that we leave. To drag him along by prioritizing my misfortune—Devan looked too sad. Unable to understand the meaning of his sudden sadness, I slowly followed his gaze. The small river was flowing with a gentle sound. Beyond it stretched another pampas field, completely blocking the plain that extended in all directions. Behind us was Arzel’s castle, just barely revealing its existence with only the top visible. This was the strict boundary between those two spaces. Not close to any place, and not far from any place either. Exactly the middle ground. We could run straight toward the wide plain, or we could return to the beautiful but sharp castle.
“Devan. How did you know about this place?”
“I used to come here often. When I lived here.”
“You said you were a magician from Maran country, right?”
“That’s right.”
It was hard to believe that he had once stayed here. To me, this was simply the base of an enemy commander. I wondered how Devan remembered his homeland. Before I could ask the impulsive question, I looked at him briefly and closed my mouth again. His faded face was enough to infer the answer to my question. But after a long silence, it was Devan who spoke first.
“Do you know why magicians are rare on the continent?”
I shook my head.
“There are many with the potential. There just aren’t many trainers.”
“Are you a trainer?”
“Yes. Just having potential doesn’t mean anything. You can’t even move an object. You need to enter a master’s castle and receive training to…”
He gently opened his hand. Small flower petals swirled lightly around his hand.
“Use proper magic like this.”
I saw Devan’s smile. It was a fragile smile that seemed like it could break at any moment. His weak appearance was awkward and also frightening. To learn more truth, I made a reasonable inference.
“So you met a master.”
Devan nodded.
“That’s right. But probably not the kind of master you’re thinking of.”
“What kind of master then?”
“How should I put it… More like… an owner.”
“What?”
Seeing my surprised eyes, Devan laughed briefly as usual. But that rain-like laughter disappeared in an instant, leaving only a bitter aftertaste.
“You’re trained to be loyal only to them.”
“…What do you mean by that?”
