# Chapter 56
I was the one who couldn’t bear the heavily sunken atmosphere and rushed out. I turned away, stuttering that I wanted to talk with Wimu, but Kadilen didn’t answer. Leaving his silence behind, I fled from his office.
His sorrowful expression, which had lost all restraint, kept flickering in my mind. Complete empathy was powerful. Since I became able to sense his emotions, it had become difficult to distinguish my own feelings. Seeing his sorrow at losing me was much harder than before. Even if I considered it just a magical effect created by the bead, his desperate feelings transferred to me like a mirror.
I shook my head, full of confusion. It was something that would pass anyway. I needed to remove the bead to avoid Luan’s suspicion. Recalling Rio lying as if dead, I brushed away all personal emotions.
When I returned to the room, Jiman was anxiously waiting for me, and Wimu had a tired face. As I opened the door and entered, both of their gazes turned to me at once.
“How did it go?”
“Kadilen cooperated too. How’s Rio?”
I took a few more steps to see the small body buried in the large blanket. The child was lying like a corpse, exhaling shallow breaths. Jiman’s soft voice was heard, as if to soothe my impatient heart.
“He’s much better.”
I looked at him as I felt his touch gently wrapping around my wrist. Jiman examined my face for a moment with eyes mixed with worry and tenderness. I moistened my parched lips and nodded to him. Wimu, who had been quietly watching us, broke the affectionate silence.
“Luan has hidden in the west.”
“The west?”
“It’s land owned by Arzel. I lost him due to security, but there are several places where he might be hiding.”
He rubbed his tired eyes with his dry hand. The early morning chill emanated from him as he recited the results of tracking Luan with a cracked voice. I was concerned about him, who must have traveled a long distance throughout the night to fulfill my abrupt request. Noticing my concern as he rotated his stiffened shoulder, he smiled a little.
“Who’s worrying about whom?”
“…Thank you so much.”
“It’s not time to hear thanks yet. I heard the details from Jiman. It’s fortunate that His Highness will help too, but we’ll need to move with just a few people.”
“Right. We absolutely cannot be discovered by Luan.”
I nodded in agreement with his words. Despite his face being stained with fatigue, Wimu continued to contemplate something. As Jiman once again checked Rio’s condition and measured his temperature, Wimu’s expression grew increasingly serious. Finally, he spoke.
“Arzel belongs to the Maran country. I heard Devan trained there.”
“Are you suggesting we involve him in this matter?”
Jiman turned to Wimu with a sharp question. Surprised by this unexpectedly intense reaction, Wimu shrugged with a shocked face.
“I don’t like that guy either. But I’m already on Luan’s watch list, and we can’t form a separate search team. We need someone to watch our backs while I divert attention, and having a magician would be a great help.”
Jiman remained silent. In the awkward atmosphere, Wimu added.
“And most importantly, he will absolutely never betray us.”
My heart ached at the truth of his words. I had forgotten about Devan for a while. The last time I had faced him felt like a distant past. There was also a part of me that tried hard to forget. It was overwhelming to know that nothing would change no matter what I did, and perhaps I vaguely felt that his obsession would never end. Sometimes in my dreams, I saw him desperately reaching out, clutching our tattered relationship.
“Ludin. What do you think?”
“I… don’t know.”
Wimu’s words made sense. The manpower Kadilen had was essentially an unusable resource. We couldn’t openly move a large number of people. And it wasn’t wrong to say that Devan was a trustworthy person. But I was afraid it might be a repetition of the same thing. Seeking Devan’s help to save someone was enough once. Considering how his previous help had ended, involving him would be a foolish thing to do.
“Let’s resolve other matters first.”
I changed the subject, avoiding Jiman’s eyes. I understood his anger toward Devan. Since recovering me, Jiman had maintained a cold attitude toward Kadilen and Devan. I always felt uneasy when I saw him, who was always gentle and mild, on edge and hostile toward them. I knew it was an attitude that came from his care for me, but I was afraid that if he showed his anger, something might happen, or he might get caught up in an incident.
Jiman obediently followed my intention to change the topic. He asked Wimu if he had discovered anything else while pursuing Luan. Wimu frowned, trying to recall.
“I met a man when crossing the western wall. I couldn’t see his face.”
“Could it be the one who came looking for me before?”
“There’s a high possibility, if Luan’s forces aren’t large.”
He was the one who had been helping him from the beginning. He was the man who had already helped Luan escape and proposed a deal to me when the rebels who came to behead Zendal entered this palace. Considering his deep trust in Luan, he was likely someone who had been part of the previous regime for quite a while.
I turned to Wimu to ask more about his appearance, but my body suddenly tilted.
“Ludin!”
Only after Jiman urgently grabbed me did I realize my condition was terrible. It was irritating to be the only one causing a commotion when we had all stayed up all night and were in the same exhausting situation. I had forgotten about it because my symptoms had greatly improved thanks to Kadilen’s power. As I made a face disgusted with the persistent illness, Jiman let out a small sigh and adjusted his grip on me.
“Just rest. We’ll talk more later.”
Wimu said with a complex expression. My teeth clenched involuntarily, displeased with the situation.
“No. I can do more.”
“Rio isn’t the only one who’s been poisoned. Get a grip. If you collapse, there’ll be no one to save the child.”
I quickly looked at Jiman, but he also shook his head.
“It would be better for you to rest.”
I didn’t like being treated as an invalid, but my body was honestly becoming limp. Once I lost my balance, dizziness quickly overcame my head. Jiman took a short breath and supported me as he led me away. Fatigue was also evident on Wimu’s face as he watched this with concern.
“You go and rest too. I’m so sorry, and thank you again.”
I knew how Wimu must have felt as he looked for my escape route. I was not unaware of his feelings for me, nor of the pain it caused him. Even he would not have known that he would end up keeping me here like this. It was an outcome that benefited no one. What was happening was furthest from my wish to firmly end the situation and conclude everything.
Luan’s voice, cursing my affection, once again tickled my ears. It was as if someone was sharply mocking me as I led everyone’s lives into pain, not just strangling my own neck. However, the criticism that had been digging endlessly gradually subsided to Wimu’s quiet voice.
“Things have gone cruelly, but there’s no one here who doesn’t wish for your happiness. Even that child loved you.”
He stared at me intently.
“It’s not your fault. I knew exactly what I was doing. That’s why I regret it, and I’m still prepared to do anything for you. If you ask Jiman, he’ll give the same answer.”
Though it was just a fleeting moment, he perfectly read the meaning of my silence. He grabbed the arrow pointing at me and broke it with all his might.
“So please, let’s be happy. Ludin.”
There was strength in his words as he earnestly pleaded. With the sound of the door closing, I sank into the swamp of sleep.
* * *
In my dreams, various scenes flashed by. Most were past mistakes I had committed. My wrong choices, and the precious people standing at the end of that path. The time I had strived for them, and despite that, my palace crumbling in the worst way. Atop that mountain of mistakes, Luan sat with an arrogant posture, reigning over me like a king. Under his rule, everything I loved was being trampled and defiled mercilessly without time to intervene. Even when I hastily extended a knife toward Luan, what I held was not a sharp blade but merely a straw that collapsed powerlessly.
When I woke from the terrible dream, barely a few hours had passed since I had fallen asleep. In the chair opposite the bed, Jiman was nodding off uncomfortably. I slowly got up, adjusted his posture to make him more comfortable, and covered him with a blanket. As his furrowed brow relaxed, his face regained a peaceful expression.
Rio was lying quietly asleep. When I slightly pulled back the curtain, the midday sunlight came through the window, brightly illuminating the surroundings. I quickly blocked the light and checked on Rio again. The child was sleeping beautifully, making it hard to believe he had been poisoned.
Looking at that face made me nauseous. If everything ended in the worst way, I felt like I would never be able to get up again. As my breathing became rough, I hastily left the place. The corridor, where people occasionally passed by, held heat from the hot sunlight, unlike the morning.
Standing blankly, staring out the window, I walked aimlessly somewhere. So much energy was consumed just trying to shake off negative thoughts that I couldn’t consciously decide on a destination. But where my steps stopped, there was a large stone door engraved with the new royal emblem. It was the place where I had promised to meet and talk with Kadilen and Wimu. Although there was still plenty of time left, I had nowhere else to go. I also didn’t have the courage to return to the room and see Rio.
With a bleak feeling, I opened the door. The heavy stone door opened silently, revealing a wide space. As I stepped further in, I saw a person sitting in a chair with his body reclined. He was languidly crossing his legs and folding his arms, but with an empty face, he was staring intently at the empty air.
I hesitated, then cautiously took a step. His pitch-black eyes turned toward me as he heard my footsteps.
“…It’s been a while, Devan.”
