“Woah….”
Admiration burst out naturally at the outside I was going out to alone after so long. To be precise, it wasn’t outside, but in my current situation, stepping out the front door was no different from being outside. The clean, state-of-the-art corridor felt strangely unfamiliar and refreshing.
I alternated looking between the left and right corridors, discovered the emergency stairs, and headed toward them as if possessed. I worried what if it was locked, but fortunately it was open.
“…They say even sleeping together counts as exercise….”
How long had I been cooped up inside that just climbing a few stairs made my legs heavy? Thanks to staying on such a high floor, it didn’t take long to climb up to the rooftop.
Now if I just opened this door, it would be the rooftop. The outside breeze felt through the crack of the door was awkward beyond measure. Moreover, whether it was because I’d moved after so long or because of nervousness, the hand gripping the doorknob was drenched in sweat. The rooftop door was also fortunately not locked.
“Ah… Fuck, it’s hot!”
The moment I opened the door, strongly beating sunlight greeted me. Come to think of it, it was already June. Even though I was surprised by the heat I hadn’t prepared for, I had no thoughts of going back. I occasionally went out to go to the research lab, but as soon as I went out I immediately got in a car, went inside a building, and when the examination ended I got in a car again and returned home. Because of that, those outings didn’t give me the feeling of having gone outside at all.
Even though it was the rooftop, the sensation of being outside was vivid enough to momentarily forget the heat. Next, the artificial garden still under landscaping construction and the wide-open scenery captured my gaze.
“……”
It felt like I could breathe. I should take this opportunity to suggest to Lee Hyeonseok that we turn the terrace into a mini garden. Nature’s nice. When I raised my head, even the white clouds floating by pleased me, and a smile naturally formed.
“This isn’t the time for this.”
Having felt freedom after so long, I decided to quickly plant the flowers and go down before the guards or Lee Hyeonseok noticed. Honestly speaking, it seemed like they’d already noticed my absence, but it was already done. Because it wasn’t completed yet, tape saying ‘Under Construction’ was hung here and there. I lightly ignored the tape.
Even looking around briefly, there was no one nearby. Since the clock I’d seen before leaving the house pointed to 12 o’clock, everyone might have gone to eat. As evidence, shovels, trowels, hoses, installations and such were strewn about.
While looking for a suitable place to plant flowers, I discovered a spot where they’d shaped a flower bed using bricks. It seemed they were planning to decorate a flower bed with tiers like stairs, as bricks were erected up to my pelvis.
Looking inside, it seemed they’d just evenly arranged the soil. Nearby, seedlings whose names I’d only heard a few times at most were organized to one side. Since several were already planted, I put down the flowers I was holding and picked up a shovel that was nearby. It seemed better to dig all at once rather than carefully digging out soil with a trowel bit by bit.
“…Somehow this is déjà vu….”
As I vigorously stuck the shovel into the soil, suddenly the memory of digging ground on a mountain last winter to bury Lee Hyeonseok came to mind. Looking back now, even I thought it was absurd and a crazy thing to do. No matter how flustered I was, trying to bury a person was excessive.
“How much should I dig?”
The roots were quite long, so that much would probably be plenty. If it didn’t seem right, I could dig more or bury it more. It was difficult as sweat came out quickly due to the hot sunlight and I was exerting strength on top of that, but strangely I had no thoughts of stopping.
When I was working, every day I wanted to do nothing and just stay home, but when I actually did nothing, I just felt helpless with the feeling of having become a useless human. I guess it was true that humans are social animals. The saying to exercise when mentally struggling didn’t just come out of nowhere either—it definitely seemed to have an effect. I soon forgot the purpose of planting flowers and just silently dug the ground.
“Huk.”
It was around the time the rooftop floor became visible that I came to my senses while digging thoughtlessly in high spirits. I’d dug so diligently that I’d created a hole with a diameter of about 100cm. My whole body was dirty with soil and sweat. It didn’t make sense that I’d dug without even being aware that I’d gone down to a depth reaching my pelvis. A hollow laugh burst out at my own absurdity.
“Ugh…. What, am I, even doing… right now!”
There was no problem going back up, but without a foothold I struggled and climbed up with some difficulty. After barely climbing up, I roughly brushed off the dirt, but my state was already irreversible like the inside of a house that a three-year-old child had turned into a mess. I didn’t know in detail since there was no mirror, but it must be a sight to behold. My face crumpled thinking about how much Lee Hyeonseok would tease and peck at me seeing my current appearance.
“What do I do.”
How much nagging would there be this time. Instead of nagging, I wished he would just throw me out. What on earth was he thinking to keep me confined in the house like this—he was a bastard I didn’t want to understand. Even hearing my parents’ nagging didn’t feel good, needless to say nagging from another person. Even though I pretended otherwise and let it slide, the fact was my mood was foul. Moreover, the point that the nagging wasn’t exactly wrong hurt my feelings.
“Was I this petty….”
My thoughts took a bad turn again. Recently, whenever I thought, I became depressed, so I’d been living trying not to think as much as possible, but once I had negative feelings, I couldn’t stop. The moment I sighed and tried to cover the ground to avoid thinking anything again, I heard the sound of someone climbing the stairs roughly from outside.
“!”
The *thud, thud* sounds were very vigorous. At first I thought people were coming up energetically after finishing lunch, but for that, I only heard one person’s footsteps.
“Oh no…!”
At first I was startled by the sound and just stared blankly at the entrance door, but soon I remembered the ground I’d dug up in a mess and my heart became urgent. Rationally, I knew I should apologize for my wrongdoing and ask for forgiveness, but having heard only nagging and warnings night and day recently, I didn’t want to hear any more bitter words.
I first tried to cover the hole I’d dug. The sound of *thud thud thud* climbing the stairs quickly got closer and closer. Hurriedly looking around, I discovered newspaper piled up in a corner of the flower bed and thought to cover it with that as a quick fix, so I reached out and dragged it all over.
When I unfolded the newspaper I’d brought and covered the hole, even if it was a bit awkward, the part I’d dug was well covered.
“Whew…. Good… this isn’t right, is it.”
The satisfaction was only momentary. It wasn’t like I was an immature child—what was I doing? The moment I was self-deprecating, the rooftop door opened vigorously with a *bang*.
“Ah, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to do that, no, I’m sorry! I’ll take responsibility and put everything back the way it was…?”
Thinking the person who opened the door was a worker, I was startled and bowed at the waist, apologizing first. It was because my conscience hurt too much to just cover up my mistake and go down. Next I was going to naturally make excuses, but that didn’t seem quite right either. What could I do when I’d already done it? As I lifted my upper body that I’d bowed saying I would put it back the way it was and examined their complexion, it wasn’t a worker.
“Cheon Jaekyung?”
It was Cheon Jaekyung. At Cheon Jaekyung smiling brightly as if quite glad to see me, I momentarily wondered if it was a dream.
“Seo Jiwoo, I found you.”
“You… your appearance….”
I couldn’t tell how much he’d wanted to see me to speak in such an overwhelming voice, but Cheon Jaekyung’s appearance was no less serious than mine. As if he’d been beaten by someone, his face was full of bruises here and there. His clothes were also dirty with blood or dust. It was a pitiful sight indeed. Nevertheless, his excellent looks weren’t hidden—exaggerating a bit, even passersby probably wouldn’t have reported it thinking ‘Is that makeup?’ Cheon Jaekyung, regardless of my doubts, began striding toward me.
“Did you get my letter?”
“C-calm down.”
“You have no idea how much I wanted to see you.”
Instead he began listing only what he had to say. I wanted to run away, but unfortunately the door was behind Cheon Jaekyung so there was nowhere particular to escape. Even knowing he wouldn’t have good feelings toward me, seeing him like this, that momentum was truly terrifying. I think I understood why Lee Hyeonseok had threatened me to stay quietly inside the house.
No, but come to think of it, Cheon Jaekyung touched me first. What an unjust bastard. I knew it was the timing to apologize verbally to calm him down and prostrate myself, but my anger was considerable right now too.
“Why. Are you going to strike me with that this time?”
“Ah!”
When I shifted my gaze toward the shovel lying on the ground, Cheon Jaekyung mocked me. Of course, since I clearly learned from last time that I couldn’t beat Cheon Jaekyung in a simple battle of strength. I didn’t respond and reached my hand toward the shovel, but Cheon Jaekyung threw something toward my hand first and I failed to pick up the shovel. Rather, because I was hit quite hard, a scream came out. Upon checking, it was gravel.
“I! Because of you…!”
The moment I unconsciously raised my hand in pain, Cheon Jaekyung ran toward me. Having missed the timing to avoid him, I froze as I was, when I heard a *crack* sound and Cheon Jaekyung sank down below. Down into the hole I’d dug. Just the sound of Cheon Jaekyung hitting the ground seemed to transmit pain.
“…What are you doing, you….”
