But no matter how much I thought about it, rather than getting hit with the morning sickness-motion sickness combo on the way to work, it seemed better to become someone with a possessive lover. Besides, even among trait-holders, there were only a handful per floor, and fortunately, there were no trait-holders on our team or even on the team right next to us with close seating.
Since I’d already been going to work without thinking about it for several days, it seemed meaningless to worry about it now.
“At least there aren’t any on our team… so it’s fine.”
“……Isn’t that Deputy Manager Han or whatever an Alpha?”
As soon as I finished speaking, Won Dogyeong, who had been releasing his pheromones, asked with a blank expression.
“He is an Alpha, but he’s on a different floor. And what does Deputy Manager Han have to do with anything in the first place?”
“I don’t know. I don’t like him.”
This elementary school brat.
“Are you jealous?”
“I am, so what.”
“We’re really nothing to each other.”
“I’m sure. You just almost became something.”
How did he know? I have to give him credit for being perceptive.
“Enough, let’s stop talking about this.”
Won Dogyeong spun the steering wheel round and round with his mouth pouting. I didn’t mind stopping, but I had to say this.
“You’re the one who brought it up….”
“I’m already regretting it.”
I truly have no thoughts whatsoever about Deputy Manager Han anymore. We weren’t that close to begin with anyway. I don’t know how to convey this well, but it doesn’t seem like something that would be resolved just by me saying it.
As I watched him silently turn up the air conditioner, something I’d been curious about came to mind.
“Tell me about your dating life.”
“What.”
“What kind of people you dated, how long, why you broke up, stuff like that.”
Won Dogyeong wrinkled his nose with an expression that said he’d rather die. He asks all about my business but he’s so petty.
“I should know what the person I’m going to date has been doing. You know everything about me.”
He glanced at me, then tapped the steering wheel with his fingers. After seeming to think about something for a moment, he slowly opened his lips.
“…They were people doing the same work. I dated them all for less than six months, and we broke up because my feelings didn’t grow.”
This was the first time I’d heard this kind of talk directly from him. I’d always just assumed on my own that he was dating based on the frequency of him glued to his phone or the circumstances of him hiding and making short calls. Then when he started staying home often again, I’d think he must have broken up.
“When was your last relationship?”
“4 years? ago.”
“Which actor? Is it someone I know?”
“…Do I have to say?”
“I’m curious.”
After hesitating for a long while, Won Dogyeong said reluctantly:
“……That, the drama protagonist we saw yesterday…”
Ah, that person I saw on screen yesterday…?
Since he said someone doing the same work, I’d thought it would probably be one of the actors whose face I knew, but this somehow felt like getting hit in the back of the head.
A pretty face and seemed to act well too. Enough to be cast as the lead, so…
“……You said you’re not close?”
“Well…… we’re not close now…”
Because we broke up.
The words that followed seemed to automatically echo in my ears. I pressed my back against the seat and sat with my mouth firmly shut.
I knew Won Dogyeong had dated, but knowing who he dated with was a different story. The face I saw on TV yesterday floated around in my head.
Won Dogyeong, not as a friend, was quite affectionate even though he had aspects of being prickly and sulky as before. Since we were still in an ambiguous relationship, he seemed to be careful about skinship, but just from the way his hands embraced my shoulders and stroked my face, I could tell how he treated a lover.
Did he treat that person gently like this too? Did he pretend not to while carefully taking care of them and holding their hand?
I felt strange.
It seems I’d been unconsciously thinking that Won Dogyeong would only be this affectionate to me because he said he liked me.
Right, it’s obvious, but just as I’ve dated people, Won Dogyeong must have had memories and time accumulated with other people too.
“Hey…?”
“Yeah?”
When I raised my head at the voice calling me quietly, Won Dogyeong tilted his head as if asking if I was okay. I must have been lost in thought for too long.
I watched his profile quietly as he focused on driving, then asked again.
“Why do you hate talking about this so much?”
“……”
“You got annoyed before when I asked a few times too.”
He frowned as if troubled. This too seemed to be a topic he didn’t want to talk about, stretching out his lips.
“I just don’t want to talk about it with you.”
“Why?”
“It feels like losing.”
“What?”
What kind of… bullshit is this?
Won Dogyeong pursed his lips, then frowned once more and spat out in a disgruntled tone:
“I’m embarrassed that I dated people to try to stop liking you.”
“Embarrassed…”
“You don’t know how I feel and keep bringing lovers from somewhere, but I’m doing this, so I feel resentful…”
Putting on the right turn signal, he let out a small sigh.
“And when I was young, I dated out of spite, but now I feel sorry to the people I dated. That I thought lightly of them. So I decided to stop.”
“……”
“That’s why I didn’t want to tell you. Is that enough?”
Because it’s embarrassing…. A very Won Dogyeong-like reason. I was at a loss for words and just stared at the sky beyond the window. It looked clear without a single cloud, perfect for a picnic. But I’m going to work.
“If you really want to know who I dated, I can tell you… do you want to know?”
“I’m curious but… no, it’s fine.”
For the sake of my cultural life, it seemed better not to know. If I heard everything, I didn’t think I’d be able to watch TV or movies. I’d be too conscious of it.
“…You’re not curious?”
“You said you didn’t want to talk about it?”
“I did, but if you say it’s fine, that’s not great either.”
What do you want me to do?
Still, I really don’t want to know. I shook my head back and forth meaning no.
Won Dogyeong stopped the car with a blank expression. We were already near the company.
“Thanks. Drive safely.”
“See you later.”
“I have plans tonight, I told you.”
As I got out with my bag and spoke through the door gap, he nodded with an “oh right” expression.
“Ah, right. Call me when you’re going home. I’ll come to where you are.”
“I don’t know what time it’ll end. I’ll take the subway.”
“No, contact me.”
Won Dogyeong, who waved his hand through the window, drove off and disappeared from sight in an instant. It’s because he couldn’t park for long.
I adjusted my bag and passed through the main gate, absentmindedly searching for the name of the drama I’d watched yesterday. I clicked on the profile of the male lead who had his face at the front of the cast.
Han Hoyeon, twenty-seven years old, younger than me. 176cm means his height is similar to mine. Han Hoyeon had a sparkling prince style.
Does he like this kind of face?
I often hear that I look tired. Especially when I’m wearing my work glasses, I seem to hear it more. Han Hoyeon looked like he’d still be sparkling even two years older.
Scrolling through articles, I found one about his ideal type and clicked on it without realizing. His type is tall and sharp-looking people… That’s Won Dogyeong.
After hesitating, I added Won Dogyeong after Han Hoyeon written in the search bar and pressed the search button.
Photos from movie premieres they attended at the time and two-shots from variety shows came up like mushrooms after rain. Looking at the dates, almost all were from 4-5 years ago. There was a high possibility they were photos taken during the time they were dating.
Even photos of them just standing still looked affectionate for no reason, disturbing my peace of mind.
No, it’s all in the past, so what’s the point of worrying about it now? As that thought occurred to me, my fingers kept scrolling through the images.
Aren’t they standing too close together at this stage greeting? Even if they’re dating, they’re working…
“Good morning.”
I, who had been waiting for the elevator with my face buried in my phone, was startled by the familiar voice and looked up. I hurriedly turned off the phone screen and shoved it into my pocket.
My face burned. What was I doing?
Looking to the side, Deputy Manager Han was approaching with a light bow.
“Isn’t it hot… today?”
Deputy Manager Han, who came closer with a smile, stopped mid-sentence for a moment, then ended somewhat awkwardly.
What’s wrong?
A fact I’d forgotten while being concerned about Han Hoyeon suddenly flashed through my mind.
I’m completely reeking of Won Dogyeong’s pheromones right now.
Speak of the devil and he shall appear—whether it was karma for thinking there were few trait-holders at the company, I ended up running smack into Deputy Manager Han as soon as I arrived at work.
“I guess it’s slowly becoming summer… haha.”
I laughed awkwardly while grabbing my collar area and flapping it.
Did he notice?
He must have. There’s no way he couldn’t tell.
“Hmm, we both wore the wrong clothes today.”
But Deputy Manager Han just smiled softly as usual and alternately glanced at his cardigan and my knit. He was so nonchalant that even though I knew there was no way he didn’t notice, I momentarily doubted whether he really hadn’t caught on.
I didn’t want him to interrogate me about the pheromones I was giving off like before, but because he acted so indifferent, that was embarrassing in its own way. This was no different from having a conversation pretending not to see the elephant in the room.
Deputy Manager Han was a master of social life. Not even his complexion changed.
Feeling guilty for no reason, I just stared at the corner of the wall even after getting on the elevator.
“I’ll get off first. Have a good day.”
I squeezed through people and got off, leaving Deputy Manager Han who was on a different floor. He, as always, smiled good-naturedly and waved his hand slightly.
When I sat down in my seat and put down my bag, a small sigh escaped.
Right now I can just go around because there’s no outward sign, but I’ll have to tell the company soon. Once I enter the stable period, I’ll tell the manager, and I can tell the department people around when my belly is showing.
Just thinking about getting questions about when I’m getting married made my head throb already.
