After watching the reddened eyes for a moment, I let out a hollow laugh and awkwardly placed my hand on the head in front of me. Hair that had grown longer than before ticklishly burrowed between my fingers.
I heard breathing that grew harsh from rising heat. It seemed like his lips that he’d been chewing would bleed at this rate, so I grabbed his chin to stop him.
He was glaring at me with his teeth clenched hard enough to cast a shadow on his jaw.
What should I do with him?
When I met his eyes feeling troubled, his nose bridge twitched.
This… super elementary schooler.
“It’s true I’m doing well with Kim Minwoo.”
“You…”
Won Dogyeong bristled and lightly pushed me away, so I obediently pulled my body back a bit. But before he could say anything, I firmly gripped his face with both hands and stopped him.
Let me talk too.
“But Kim Minwoo is you.”
“…What are you talking about?”
“To people around me, I said your name was Kim Minwoo. Just that you work at a company but your parents are well-off so you live in a nice house, and I’m somehow freeloading there.”
“Why?”
He trembled his pupils finely with a confused expression. I could clearly see his head working busily.
“Then should I go around saying I’m childhood friends with Won Dogyeong and live in the same house? Someone who comes up when you search portal sites?”
“……”
“You already know there are rumors online about you living with an omega. If it gets noisier, this time it might really make the news, so should I go around blabbing about it myself?”
“…People who know already know anyway.”
“If I go around blabbing and it interferes with your work, I’d be really, really happy, right?”
“…It’s fine though… Anyway, I get it…”
He muttered in a voice shrinking back. He seemed to have roughly grasped it now.
“I just didn’t want the fuss around me. Well, it seems like a matter of time now anyway.”
Won Dogyeong sat still with a sullen face just staring at my chest, embarrassed about making a fuss alone. Even so, his mood seemed to have improved as the hand that had been awkwardly draped on my side sneakily grabbed the hem of my clothes around my waist.
I glanced down at the hand gripping the T-shirt with the meaning of “what are you doing,” but he just rolled his eyes around. He gazed at empty space as if lost in thought.
Pretending not to see the subtle rebuke. His ignoring skills are top-notch.
He soon frowned and asked.
“But why Kim Minwoo of all things?”
“I don’t know, it sounds like it could be anywhere. Unmemorable too.”
“Your naming sense though…”
He grumbled and laughed a little. Embarrassment clung to his lips that rose stiffly.
“…Is it that bad? Haemin said she didn’t like the name from the start either.”
“First of all, I hate it.”
“Can’t change it now. You have to be Kim Minwoo.”
Won Dogyeong pressed his lips tightly shut with a displeased expression, then sneakily buried his face in my nape. At the warmth touching me gently, I shrank my body slightly.
This kind of thing is still a bit awkward.
“But saying she didn’t like the name from the start means she ultimately didn’t like me, right?”
“Myeong Haemin? ……A little?”
“What did she say?”
“Nothing much. That we live together and you cook for me, stuff like that. Just, that you’re…”
“I’m what.”
“……Like a scheming fox cub so she didn’t like you.”
Won Dogyeong burst out laughing. I felt his breath on my neck making it ticklish, so when I twisted my body, the hand wrapped around my waist firmly gripped my clothes.
Come to think of it, the distance was excessively close. The moment I suddenly became aware of what I was sitting on, all the parts touching him started to bother me.
Why did I… climb on here? Cold sweat trickled down my nape.
“Haemin has better intuition than your other friends.”
He seemed to have forgotten getting angry as if it were a lie, even looking a bit pleased. Feeling like I was the only wronged one for some reason, I lightly hit his chest with my fist.
“Shut up.”
“Did you tell Haemin about Yongyong?”
“Ah… yeah. Only Haemin. She doesn’t know Kim Minwoo is you yet.”
“That’s bad. Doesn’t Haemin think I’m shameless?”
“She already does.”
Replying while pretending to be calm and reading the mood, I sneakily rolled half a turn to the side and returned to the seat next to him. I saw him regretfully clench and unclench his empty hand, but I pretended not to notice and crouched on the sofa.
To think there’d be a fight over Kim Minwoo. Why does the road seem so long when trying to become something with Won Dogyeong?
When I dated and broke up appropriately, there was no need to raise voices like this.
Won Dogyeong wasn’t such a simple matter. To handle him separately from my life like I’d done until now, we were too deeply entangled with each other.
I knew how to treat Won Dogyeong as a friend and how to treat lovers I dated appropriately, but I wasn’t sure how to treat Won Dogyeong as a prospective lover.
Yongyong, what do you think?
Hugging my knees and thinking blankly, my gaze suddenly went to my still flat belly where no changes were yet visible.
Will I not be able to do this position later when my belly comes out?
I heard people who sleep on their stomachs have trouble sleeping when pregnant, but fortunately I didn’t have that sleeping habit.
There’s also talk that the shape of the belly differs between having a son or daughter, is that real?
Imagining the baby sleeping in my belly before even properly taking shape yet, I turned to Won Dogyeong and asked.
“Do you prefer a girl or a boy?”
“Well, I’ve never thought about it. It’s not like it’ll be that way just because I want it.”
“Hmm, what about traits?”
Children born between trait-bearing parents had a relatively high probability of being trait-bearers. Yongyong might be beta, but might also manifest as alpha or omega. We wouldn’t know until after puberty.
“That’s also… random draw. I don’t care either way.”
“Did you want to have kids?”
This was something I’d been thinking about all along. Won Dogyeong said he wanted to take responsibility for the child, and was actually pouring effort into my every move, but did he originally want to have children? If I ask, I’m not sure.
We’d never had this kind of conversation originally.
In the first place, he hated talking about his own romantic life, so I couldn’t even bring up topics like marriage or children. Since I wasn’t the type to deeply contemplate such things either and had no worries worth confiding, it completely disappeared as a topic of conversation.
I mainly lived going with the flow.
Marriage—if there’s a good person, do it, if not, don’t. Kids—I want them but given my trait it wouldn’t be easy, that sort of thing.
And I tend to deal with unexpected things when they come. Just like deciding to give birth to the suddenly conceived child.
Won Dogyeong was, well, a slightly different type from me.
Though he doesn’t open up well, I know a complex factory is constantly running inside that small head of his. Unlike me who’s easygoing about everything, he had clear likes and dislikes, and things he wanted to do were clearly in his head.
Won Dogyeong always told me I lived too hard, but from my perspective, the one living hard was Won Dogyeong.
Just choosing the highly uncertain profession of actor showed that. Compared to that, I was just diligent at running on the rails society laid down without derailing. That wasn’t particularly arduous—that was just me.
I knew I was definitely leaning toward the “like” side in Won Dogyeong’s realm of preferences. That was something I’d known since very young, regardless of realizing the feelings he had for me.
However, I sometimes think that affection toward me might not necessarily mean affection toward the child. Or I sometimes doubt whether it’s just a sense of debt or guilt.
What if Yongyong is born and he doesn’t really like them? Such anxiety sometimes raises its head.
Ultimately it’s because I’m too accustomed to having Won Dogyeong beside me.
Won Dogyeong was like a major part of my daily life. The kind that couldn’t be replaced. He was a finicky part, but it was still okay. He had to stay in that spot even if I had to coax and cajole him.
Daily life without Won Dogyeong was abnormal to me. It would be the same for him too. Defined by time spent together, we might be closer than family.
So how Won Dogyeong would think about this situation, how he’d think about this child—such things were excessively important to me. Enough to keep unfolding various thoughts unlike usual.
Of course I also think his interest in the child couldn’t just be a sense of debt. Looking at him whispering to Yongyong against my belly at every opportunity, it’s preposterous.
Even so, there are times when you want confirmation.
Just like Won Dogyeong had to ask whether I liked Deputy Manager Han.
“Yeah.”
Unexpectedly, his voice was full of conviction. Having asked, I was a bit flustered and crumpled my pants with the hand I’d placed ambiguously on my leg.
Won Dogyeong propped his arm on the sofa backrest and turned completely toward me.
“I’ve imagined it a lot. Marrying you, having a kid, and living together.”
“Really…?”
“I like you, you know. We even live together, so you think I wouldn’t have imagined at least that much?”
Won Dogyeong let out a small laugh.
He acted like he’d die before talking about marriage, but to think he’d been having such imaginations alone. I felt strange.
