All day long, Seo Eunho’s head was filled with nothing but that kiss, just as Tae Shinwoo had said. Tae Shinwoo’s ultimate move had truly worked.
However, there were some side effects to this. Tae Shinwoo seemed to have hoped he’d feel embarrassment or butterflies. But as time passed, what dominated Seo Eunho’s mind was anger.
He’d kissed him out of nowhere. In the end, it meant that bastard Tae Shinwoo had put an end to defining their relationship. And yet he kept pestering him to confess.
Of course, Seo Eunho roughly understood why Tae Shinwoo had acted that way. He must have caught on to what he was thinking.
But even so, that was too much. He’d played too strong a hand. Thanks to that, Seo Eunho had to put on quite a show all day long, his face flushing red then rubbing it down—exactly as Tae Shinwoo had intended.
And so, a feeling of injustice suddenly welled up inside him. It felt like only he was being pushed around this way and that by Tae Shinwoo’s hands. In reality, Tae Shinwoo was always relaxed and unshaken. Unlike himself, who was embarrassed by everything every time, Tae Shinwoo had never shown any such signs.
He didn’t know why this suddenly felt unfair, but a pointless competitive spirit boiled up inside him. For instance, he wanted to see Tae Shinwoo flustered with his face turning red. Well, something like that.
However, Seo Eunho didn’t have the courage to just press his lips against Tae Shinwoo’s like he had done. Just imagining it made his heart pound thump-thump-thump-thump, asserting itself—how could he possibly do such a thing? But how could this bastard act so brazenly?
He wanted Tae Shinwoo to feel the same emotions as him too. He needed to see him flustered, face red, not knowing what to do. His thoughts were gradually flowing in a completely different direction from what Tae Shinwoo had wanted. In fact, it was a direction he himself had never wanted either, but Seo Eunho spent all day thinking only about getting back at Tae Shinwoo.
“Should we buy some food on the way?”
Whether he knew what was going on inside or not, Tae Shinwoo was just smiling leisurely even now. As if he’d completely forgotten about the kiss from this morning.
“…Is there anything you want to eat?”
And because of that, someone’s head had been aching all day long.
Though a feeling of injustice bloomed, Seo Eunho forced himself to act nonchalant because he didn’t want to show that he was the only one shaken. Like Tae Shinwoo—pretending to be relaxed, as if nothing had happened.
Tae Shinwoo, who had been staring at Seo Eunho like that, lightly jerked his chin toward the convenience store. Briefly puzzled by the rather unexpected choice, Tae Shinwoo’s lips curved up as he opened his mouth.
“Triangle kimbap.”
“Ah.”
Seo Eunho’s eyebrows twitched, then he let out a small laugh belatedly. He suddenly remembered when Tae Shinwoo first came to the convenience store and swept up all the triangle kimbap from the display, dumped them on him, and left.
“You want to eat some?”
At his question, Tae Shinwoo just nodded. That day, Tae Shinwoo had bought all the triangle kimbap but only took one with him. And Seo Eunho was certain it hadn’t suited his taste. It was a natural conclusion from watching what he ate all this time.
Actually, even Seo Eunho was like that. It had been a long time since he’d ordered delivery food. Because food made by someone whose face he didn’t even know tasted much better. He could tell just by looking how much care was put into the food.
If even he was like that, how much more so for Tae Shinwoo, who had eaten such food his entire life? Even now, he was hungry but didn’t feel like eating triangle kimbap. He even thought there was no need to satisfy his hunger with something like that.
“Buy a reasonable amount. Don’t sweep the whole display.”
It had only been a few months since he’d devoured all the triangle kimbap Tae Shinwoo had left him in one sitting, but Seo Eunho acted as if he didn’t remember at all.
“I shouldn’t do that?”
At that, Tae Shinwoo looked quite puzzled. Though he didn’t say it, it seemed like his thought of “didn’t you like it?” could be heard directly. Seo Eunho didn’t give any particular answer. He just didn’t think it necessary to mention that his stomach had gotten full thanks to Tae Shinwoo.
Come to think of it, how long had it been since snacks stopped appearing in his locker? He came looking for lunch every day, but once there was no more reason to come looking, he hadn’t even realized at some point that his locker had become empty. It wasn’t that he needed them, but it was somewhat shocking that he hadn’t known those things that had once substituted for lunch had disappeared.
Was this okay? Was it okay to get this accustomed to Tae Shinwoo? A pointless anxiety surged up. He even wondered if he’d really be okay when Tae Shinwoo no longer remained by his side.
No. There was no reason he wouldn’t be okay. He could adapt to whatever situation came. It would just be a matter of how long it took. There was no need to worry about something that hadn’t even happened yet.
“Was it good back then?”
Seo Eunho decided to focus on Tae Shinwoo right now instead of worthless thoughts. He’d wanted to ask about this anyway. He thought it probably wasn’t. If he’d liked it, he would have eaten it once or twice more.
Sure enough, Tae Shinwoo immediately shook his head.
“I didn’t eat it.”
At that, before he could even laugh, an unexpected answer came back. Seo Eunho furrowed his brow. A petty thought arose: if he was going to throw it away anyway, he should have just given it all away. Perhaps because he’d frequently not eaten proper meals even since childhood, Seo Eunho had never liked leaving food. But to have taken it and not even eaten it. The triangle kimbap that he didn’t even want now just felt wasteful.
“I was going to eat it.”
An awkward excuse popped out from Tae Shinwoo. While thinking it really didn’t suit him, Seo Eunho didn’t say anything.
“Really.”
Probably the reason he was making excuses was because he knew Seo Eunho’s tendencies. Seo Eunho let out a small sigh. Since they’d grown up in different environments, it probably wasn’t a big deal to Tae Shinwoo. Only later did he think maybe it wasn’t something to harden his face over.
“I was going to eat it but it fell on the floor.”
“……”
“The seaweed and rice separated, and it just crumbled in my hand.”
“……”
“……There was some left on my hand, but I couldn’t bring myself to eat that.”
In the meantime, more unnecessary excuses continued rambling on. Accordingly, strength gradually filled Seo Eunho’s lips.
Because he kept imagining Tae Shinwoo on his own, staring at the rice stuck to his hand with a scrunched-up face, laughter kept trying to come out. It was funny enough to be regrettable that he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes. Seo Eunho shook his head and finally burst into laughter.
“Never mind, let’s just go.”
At those words, Tae Shinwoo asked, “Why?”
“You don’t really want to eat it anyway.”
As if he too was perceptive enough to know all of Tae Shinwoo’s thoughts, Seo Eunho concluded.
“……Why did you figure it out?”
Well, this time it was too easy to catch on. Because now even Seo Eunho knew as much about Tae Shinwoo as he could.
He didn’t know if it had really fallen or if he just hadn’t eaten it, but in any case, it wouldn’t have been Tae Shinwoo’s taste. If it had seemed okay, he would have bought it again to try. Tae Shinwoo had no particular interest in triangle kimbap. Probably it was just something he’d brought up for the sake of the atmosphere.
So he’d just tried to divert his attention, knowing he was lost in other thoughts. If that was the reason, there was no need to go to the convenience store. As for triangle kimbap, he’d eaten the discarded ones to the point of being sick of them when working at the convenience store. He hadn’t known it back then, but anyway, even just thinking about it now made him feel sick of it.
Since he could eat much better food, there was no reason to do that. What a fickle heart it was. To have changed this much in such a short time. Perhaps he’d changed faster because Tae Shinwoo’s comfort was so good, and because he didn’t want to escape from this situation.
“Hey.”
Lost in thought for a moment, Seo Eunho suddenly opened his mouth. Even though it was a voice small enough to be close to a murmur, Tae Shinwoo immediately answered, “Yeah.” Tae Shinwoo standing shoulder to shoulder with him had become familiar before he knew it.
Right, familiar. That’s why it was good. No matter how much he tried to think that he and Tae Shinwoo couldn’t be together forever, he hoped this familiarity would continue.
Actually, whether he went to college or whatever, he just wanted to do as Tae Shinwoo wished. He knew it was shameless, but he wanted to be greedy. If it meant they could be together a bit longer that way.
There had been a time when he hoped his interest would disappear quickly. But not now. He knew that his feelings had gone far beyond mere interest. That’s why he was happy and wanted those feelings to stay with him a little longer.
Forever, if possible.
This was probably too greedy. But was there really a need to live thinking it would end anyway? Was preparation of the heart necessary right now? Was it wrong to believe this moment would last forever?
“Why’d you call me and not say anything? What are you thinking about?”
In the midst of utterly confusing thoughts, Tae Shinwoo suddenly blocked the path of Seo Eunho, who had his mouth tightly shut. Only then did he notice that his slightly furrowed brow held dissatisfaction.
Until just a moment ago, he’d been thinking about how to steal away Tae Shinwoo’s composure, but now what was the use of all that?
Just, suddenly.
An impulse welled up to pour out his heart to Tae Shinwoo, who had first reached out his hand to him. Wouldn’t he be happy? Since he’d wanted to hear it.
As expected, mood and all that—he didn’t know about such things. They didn’t seem necessary. He might regret later that he should have held back just a little, but right now it felt like he’d regret it more if he didn’t spit it out immediately.
“Tae Shinwoo.”
Tae Shinwoo’s expression became quite serious. His name rolling around in his mouth tickled, but Tae Shinwoo seemed somewhat taken aback by his call.
“Shinwoo-ya.”
However, Seo Eunho didn’t care. The cold wind made him laugh because it was refreshing to his heart rather than cold. His stiff face gradually relaxed following him, and soon Tae Shinwoo’s lips curved up too. Because that looked particularly pleasing today, even his hesitation melted away like snow.
“I like you.”
I like you. I like you so very much. That’s why I want to be with you forever.
He knew he was too young to think about the word “forever.” But right now, Seo Eunho truly thought so.
And he hoped Tae Shinwoo did too.
“I like you a lot.”
“Ha……”
At the confession carried on the wind, Tae Shinwoo let out a small laugh and lowered his head. No answer was needed. Not because he knew all of Tae Shinwoo’s heart, but because his earlobe that had turned faintly red was telling him that his confession made him happy.
