“I kind of regret it.”
“……What.”
Who knew getting ready for school could be this difficult? Seo Eunho disguised his voice to sound even colder to hide his rising embarrassment. However, the giggling laughter seemed to know exactly how he felt.
“Even if the mood was a bit off, I should have listened.”
“…….”
“To your confession, I mean.”
Every time Tae Shinwoo spoke, his nape tickled. The guy was hugging his waist from behind with his head resting on his shoulder. He’d tried to push him away, but he wouldn’t budge, so he’d given up.
“Whether you heard it or not…….”
Honestly, Tae Shinwoo was acting as if he’d already been confessed to anyway. Friends definitely don’t hug each other from behind like this. He’d been clinging like a leech for at least ten minutes or so.
At this point, he should just consider it heard. So what good would it do for him to confess now?
“I need to hear it in words to be certain.”
So he already seemed certain, yet he was talking nonsense. And does this bastard not feel any embarrassment? Seo Eunho was seized by a slightly dissatisfied thought. It felt like only his heart was going crazy by itself.
“You seem certain though.”
“I’m not though?”
At his blunt retort, Tae Shinwoo suddenly turned him around. His heart was already racing wildly, and suddenly facing him made it difficult to pretend to be calm, but Seo Eunho looked straight at Tae Shinwoo with his lips pressed tight.
“How can I be certain when the other person won’t say anything?”
However, Seo Eunho’s determined expression quickly crumbled. What the guy said was so absurd.
He was determined to receive a confession no matter what.
Seo Eunho shook his head. He understood what he was saying, but now wasn’t the time. Even if it’s a feeling the other person already knows, there are moments when you feel like you can’t endure unless you say it out loud. Once that moment passes, the courage disappears. That’s how Seo Eunho felt right now.
It wasn’t that he was scared. He just knew it was an emotion that didn’t suit him, and he kept feeling embarrassed. Somehow, he felt like he wouldn’t be able to bear it.
The atmosphere after saying those words. The reaction Tae Shinwoo would show, things like that.
How should he bring it up? What expression should he make? What posture should he be in?
I like you.
Too many thoughts arose just from saying those words. He should have just blurted it out without thinking when he wanted to. As time passed, he wanted to say it in a better way, more coolly if possible.
The truth was he was too embarrassed to bring it up again, but he made the pathetic excuse that since it was Tae Shinwoo who cared about the mood, he should at least think that much about it.
“Forget it. Aren’t we going to school? Move away a bit.”
Whatever it was, now wasn’t the time. Seo Eunho pushed Tae Shinwoo’s shoulder and turned around.
Vacation was just around the corner, but the school atmosphere wasn’t very good. Now that they were becoming third-years, it made sense. A year would pass quickly again, and before they knew it, the college entrance exam would be right in front of them.
In reality, they could only rest for about three days during vacation. So the atmosphere was bound to be even worse. After that, everyone had to go to school for supplementary classes.
Of course, this didn’t apply to Seo Eunho. Naturally, since he had no intention of taking the college entrance exam. The problem was that Tae Shinwoo, just like him, had no intention of going to school. Seo Eunho had been a little worried. What if Tae Shinwoo’s grades dropped because of this? If he messed up the college entrance exam because of that, it would all be his fault.
Well……. In the end, it was a useless worry.
‘I’m going to get tutored.’
Was this what they called being overly self-conscious? From time to time, Seo Eunho worried whether he was ruining Tae Shinwoo. Thanks to Tae Shinwoo reading his mind like a ghost, it became a useless worry though.
‘So I have to go back and forth to my house.’
He almost laughed when Tae Shinwoo’s disgruntled face suddenly came to mind. The guy had wrinkled his brow and shown that he didn’t want to do it, but that was only for a moment. Seo Eunho guessed it was because his own expression had noticeably brightened as soon as he heard those words.
Tae Shinwoo’s life should be smooth sailing. And he shouldn’t be even the slightest hindrance to that. Tae Shinwoo would understand that feeling. Because the guy was perceptive enough that sometimes it seemed like he was looking inside his mind.
“Eunho-ya.”
“What.”
“Should we study together?”
No. He took back what he just thought. A guy who was looking inside his mind wouldn’t ask such a question.
Seo Eunho couldn’t stop his face from crumpling immediately. What the guy said was so absurd.
“Let’s go to college together.”
Seo Eunho’s face was colored with bewilderment. His expression was serious as if to show he meant it sincerely.
“You’re crazy.”
His lips moved before any thoughts could form. It wasn’t exactly wrong. Was college even possible for him? Bringing this up when he knew that could only be described as crazy.
“I’ll consider it an investment.”
“What are you talking about?”
However, Tae Shinwoo’s face remained serious. His stubborn gaze was staring at Seo Eunho. It wasn’t like the guy had never been stubbornly insistent about strange things before, and he usually tried to go along with most of it, but this time he was really wishing for something that made no sense.
“Say something that makes sense.”
Seo Eunho shook his head. It was scary how sincere he seemed. Actually, what was scarier than that was that for a moment, at those words “let’s go together,” he’d thought ‘Is that possible?’
As if it were possible. He should hope for realistic things. How long did he plan to keep mooching off Tae Shinwoo? Even right now, he was getting more than enough from him. And that wasn’t all. Seo Eunho was planning to leech off Tae Shinwoo a little more next year too.
The excuse that Tae Shinwoo told him not to work part-time was just that—an excuse; he just wanted to stick together with the guy more. So he’d shamelessly decided to do just that.
But no more than that. He clearly recognized that he and Tae Shinwoo had different paths to follow. And also the fact that as time passed, they would naturally drift apart.
The reason he could be close to Tae Shinwoo now was because they were bound by the framework called school. But once they became adults, he would have to work and Tae Shinwoo would have to go to college. When their points of contact disappeared, they were bound to drift apart. The gap that was already wide between them would only grow larger with time.
That sometimes scared him. Especially when he realized he was becoming increasingly dependent on Tae Shinwoo. But he tried to bury it. That it was still a distant future. That it wasn’t something to worry about from now, so it was okay. That when that moment came, he would somehow manage to endure it well.
However, what Tae Shinwoo just said was enough to shake Seo Eunho’s resolve. It made him think without realizing it that he hoped that would happen.
Seo Eunho shook his head. It was a ridiculous story. Setting aside the fact that he couldn’t be indebted any more, it was impossible for him to go to college. And to the same college as Tae Shinwoo, at that. There was only one year left. No matter how hard he tried, could he catch up to him? It was absolutely impossible. Maybe if there was a little more time…….
“Ha.”
Seo Eunho laughed at the thought that came to him for a moment. He’d been steeling his heart that he couldn’t want more than that, but before he knew it, regretful thoughts had crept in, which was ridiculous.
He should hope for realistic things. They say human greed has no end. He was exactly that type.
His head became very complicated. It was because of the frustration with himself for having excessive greed.
“They just need to lay some grass on the school grounds.”
“What?”
However, Tae Shinwoo didn’t consider Seo Eunho’s circumstances. When he asked back, unable to understand what the guy was saying with that still-serious face, he raised the corners of his lips and kindly answered.
“Even if you’re not great at studying, if you just donate a bit to the school, they’ll accept you, ugh!”
Regrettably, it was something better left unheard. Seo Eunho smacked Tae Shinwoo’s shoulder with a thwack, then turned his head. Absurdly, his pride was hurt by what Tae Shinwoo said. He’d lived with nothing to do with studying until now, so there was no reason for his pride to be hurt by being told he was bad at it, but hearing it from Tae Shinwoo’s mouth seemed to have annoyed him for no reason.
“That hurts…….”
But laughter flowed out immediately at the groaning that followed. Right, if you thought about it, it wasn’t strange that he laughed either. Since Tae Shinwoo would never have reason to enter college by donating or anything like that, this meant he’d racked his brain to bring him along, didn’t it? It meant the guy wanted to be with him that much.
“Your head works brilliantly sometimes.”
When his thoughts reached that point, heat subtly rose in his body. Seo Eunho grumbled for no reason, and Tae Shinwoo shrugged his shoulders.
“Now that I think about it, I think I’ll have to retake the exam. No, take it three times? And…… ah, I might as well go to the military and then enter college. Then we could go together, right?”
“You come up with all sorts of things.”
Tae Shinwoo’s head really did work brilliantly in strange directions. If his parents heard this, their insides would rot.
Seo Eunho wrinkled his nose bridge, then scratched his cheek. He’d never thought about his parents before, but now that he did, he felt a little sorry. It seemed like the guy was thinking like this because of him.
Actually, if you really thought about it, it wasn’t something for him to feel sorry about. Because it was Tae Shinwoo who thought that way, not him. He’d never said he wanted to go to college with Tae Shinwoo. He thought that after becoming adults, they should each go their separate ways.
The ridiculous thoughts about laying grass or retaking the exam were just Tae Shinwoo’s own thoughts because he wanted to be with him…….
“What are you thinking about?”
Seo Eunho, who had been lost in thought in a daze following his stream of consciousness, was startled by the sudden question and looked up. Before he realized it, Tae Shinwoo was right in front of him.
“……I’m not thinking about anything.”
After a moment of silence, Seo Eunho told a lie. Of course, since Seo Eunho wasn’t shameless like Tae Shinwoo, it was a lie that wouldn’t work at all.
It was because his face flushed hot when he gained certainty that Tae Shinwoo liked him enough to think of various methods to stay with him longer.
“Your face is red.”
If only he’d just let it go.
Seo Eunho swallowed a sigh and lowered his head.
“……Cute.”
Tae Shinwoo’s voice, tinged with laughter, reached Seo Eunho’s ears. Both he and Tae Shinwoo were really coming up with all sorts of things. Seo Eunho wrinkled his face in exasperation at words that didn’t suit him at all.
“Don’t say weird things.”
“I’m just calling something cute cute.”
“I said don’t.”
“Then should I say you’re pretty……!”
However, Tae Shinwoo didn’t easily stop his teasing. In the end, Seo Eunho kicked at Tae Shinwoo as he always did. But the foot that had precisely aimed for his shin cut through empty air and returned to its place. It was because Tae Shinwoo had leisurely dodged it.
“You use too much violence, you know.”
There was no time to feel wronged about it. Rather, the one who looked wronged was Tae Shinwoo.
“If you use violence every time you’re embarrassed, I won’t have a single bone left intact.”
“Then just don’t say weird things.”
At his grumbling words, Seo Eunho spoke firmly. However, at what Tae Shinwoo said next, he had no choice but to close his mouth.
“That’s not right. No matter how embarrassed you are, you shouldn’t hit the person you like. I don’t hit you, do I?”
His words instantly caught in his throat, and his heart sank. The reason he reacted this much to his not-so-serious words was probably because at that moment, he thought of his father.
Wasn’t he the same? It was none other than his father who justified violence with all sorts of reasons. And Seo Eunho was doing the exact same thing.
Moreover, Tae Shinwoo had actually never used even the slightest violence toward him. When his thoughts reached that point, his blood ran cold. Because he hated the fact that he was becoming like his father. And because the thought of treating Tae Shinwoo that way seemed too horrifying.
“I’m—”
“Eunho-ya.”
This was definitely his fault, so Seo Eunho tried to apologize right away. However, the words “I’m sorry” disappeared before they could even come out of his mouth. It was because Tae Shinwoo called him while grabbing his cheek, then suddenly pressed his lips to his and pulled away.
Was this what it felt like for your thought process to stop? Seo Eunho forgot about the fact that he needed to apologize to Tae Shinwoo and just froze stiffly.
The sensation of the soft lips that touched and pulled away and Tae Shinwoo’s face moving away with a smile all felt incredibly surreal.
“……You, what, what are you…….”
Facing Seo Eunho stammering stupidly, Tae Shinwoo laughed. Seo Eunho still hadn’t come to his senses.
“Ultimate technique.”
“Huh, what?”
“I wanted only this to remain in your head all day today.”
He didn’t have the presence of mind to figure out why he suddenly thought that. Because Tae Shinwoo pressed his lips to his again and pulled away, making it even more impossible.
After kissing him twice, Tae Shinwoo picked up his bag as if nothing had happened. Seo Eunho, whose gaze had been following Tae Shinwoo as he prepared to go to school, bit his lower lip and squeezed his eyes shut.
“I’m going crazy, really…….”
Seo Eunho’s hands fidgeted constantly. Even while muttering, his hands that twitched without him realizing it ultimately didn’t move from their place.
