“I just… wanted to be with Hyungnim…”
In the end, Lenox shed tears. Perhaps because he’d hurt his ankle, he seemed even more distressed than usual.
Flustered, I rubbed his cheeks vigorously with both hands to wipe them dry. But the more I did, the more tears fell diligently like chicken droppings.
“Hyungnim is incredibly amazing, and you keep getting more amazing as days go by. I felt like I had to accomplish something too if I wanted to stay by your side.”
Lenox said while sniffling.
“I want to become like Hyungnim too. So I want to create even one more reason why it’s okay for me to be here…”
His voice sounded so desperate it was almost sad. I paused while stroking his round, soft cheeks.
Lenox’s anxiety was because of me. Because I kept trying to send him away. So the young child who hated rejection seemed to want to create a reason to stay in this bitterly cold land.
Because he thought if he became strong, he wouldn’t be abandoned. Because he thought if he proved his usefulness, he’d be allowed to stay by my side…
“Nonsense.”
Completely unaware that I had given him a strand of my fate.
“Didn’t I tell you that if I wanted to throw you out, I would have done so long ago?”
Of course, even saying such things wouldn’t make him believe it right away. In the end, the proof was my responsibility. Not Lenox’s.
“Even if you grow a bit slowly and are smaller than your peers, it won’t change my mind.”
“Hyungnim…”
“My sense of responsibility isn’t so trivial.”
I extended my arms to Lenox.
“Come here.”
Then Lenox quickly embraced me. He hugged my neck tightly and buried his face in my shoulder, sniffling. I patted his back gently.
Having discarded today’s exercise list from my mind, I left the training grounds while carrying Lenox.
Should I take him to his bedroom? While I hesitated briefly, my body turned in the opposite direction. It was where the infirmary was located. Knight Commander Wieg quietly followed behind me.
“…”
Arriving at the infirmary, I examined Lenox’s injury once more. Fortunately, there was nothing wrong with the bones or ligaments—only the muscles were slightly strained. The explanation followed that it would be fine as long as he didn’t overexert himself for the time being and applied herbs to reduce the swelling morning and evening.
With his tension relieved, Lenox ended up falling asleep on the infirmary bed. As his soft breathing could be heard, the adults’ movements naturally became more cautious.
Sitting by his bedside, I stroked his disheveled golden hair and muttered.
“…Why does he push himself so hard? Such a small thing causing people worry.”
I could understand him not believing my words that I’d take him in since he’d been wronged. But if that were the case, he should have confronted me about it. He should have followed me around and pestered me until his anxiety subsided—where on earth did he learn the habit of overworking himself?
Knight Commander Wieg, standing next to the medicine shelf, said,
“Wouldn’t it be Your Highness’s influence?”
He’s saying it’s a habit learned from me.
“…From me?”
“The Little His Imperial Majesty follows and admires Your Highness the Grand Duke very much. It’s only natural to want to resemble someone you look up to.”
“…”
“Don’t you always set goals that push beyond your own limits, Your Highness?”
“Well, that’s…”
That’s how exercise is supposed to be done. If it’s not hard, is it training? It’s just a hobby.
“From what I’ve heard from others, you maintain a similar approach when handling other tasks as well. Of course, that’s not under my jurisdiction, but in any case, I wanted to say that the Little Highness could learn and try to follow such tendencies.”
Now that I heard it, it made sense. I furrowed my brow slightly.
“Does it seem to you that I’m training too hard?”
“Yes. Quite considerably so.”
“…”
“If I may presume to say, it appears you need to adjust your overall training volume.”
I replied with a slightly embarrassed attitude.
“…I thought this level was already adjusted.”
It sounded like an excuse, but it was true. In the first place, I was moving far less than before I possessed Achille. Even compared to the seasoned veterans of the knight order, it was naturally an insignificant amount.
“No, it’s not.”
As if reading my thoughts, Wieg stated firmly.
“Everything is relative. Looking at Your Highness’s current condition, you are overexerting yourself.”
The doctor organizing medical records nearby sighed and chimed in.
“I agree with Sir Wieg’s words. Your Highness is quite frail, are you not?”
“What do you mean I’m frail? Put away such weak expressions right now…”
“Just this month alone, you’ve fainted once, twice, three times… Is that all? All the herbs good for headaches are yours, and now nosebleeds are so common you don’t even come to the infirmary anymore.”
“…Enough.”
“On top of that, you have a small appetite so your food intake stays the same, your work piles up like a mountain, yet you never skip training. And whenever magical beasts approach near the castle and you go into actual combat, every time the knights return carrying Your Highness who has fainted, my life…”
“I said that’s enough.”
It seemed quite a lot had accumulated. I ended up getting more than I bargained for by asking.
So, to summarize, they were telling me to stop working so hard. For my sake, and for the sake of the child growing up watching me.
I agreed. I didn’t want to ruin Lenox after all. But it was a bit troublesome. Working hard wasn’t always the answer. I’d lived my entire life only by struggling.
After thinking for a moment, I looked down at the sleeping Lenox and said,
“I was already planning to rest tomorrow anyway.”
It seemed I’d have to move up my plans to rest soon. It was for Lenox, who might be feeling discouraged.
“I’m going to the village south of the territory to obtain some materials. While I’m at it, I’ll buy some things we can’t get here…”
Before finishing my sentence, I glanced at my sleeve. It was being tugged by a small hand.
“…A picnic?”
I don’t know when he woke up, but Lenox was looking at me with anticipation in his eyes.
“Since spring has come, are we going on a spring picnic, Hyungnim and I?”
“Yes.”
His brightly blooming smile was just like a wildflower that bloomed too early.
“Winter is ending, so we should. But since it’ll be hard for you to move around, you’ll have to behave and let me carry you on my back.”
“Yes! I’m really good at behaving!”
It was a completely unconvincing exclamation. Even right now, didn’t he just bolt upright? He was far, very far from being well-behaved.
But it was fine. Even that aspect couldn’t be a flaw of his.
Since the little one was awake, there was no need to impose on the infirmary further. I lowered my body while showing Lenox my back.
“Get on.”
Lenox promptly climbed on. His toes dangling in the air wiggled, as if his pain and sadness were better now.
“When we go on the picnic, can we pack a lunch box?”
“Why go to such lengths? We’re just going down to a nearby village.”
“I want to try eating a lunch box together with Hyungnim…”
“…I’ll tell the cook.”
I adjusted Lenox on my back while calmly organizing what to obtain.
“While we’re stopping by the library, I’ll also get some magic theory books suitable for you if possible. There’s someone famous for weaving fabric well, so we’ll buy light outerwear or thin blankets and such. Since they’re things for you to wear, we need to look at them together.”
“Yes, Hyungnim.”
“We can also buy snacks. Since it’s not a place we can go often, don’t hesitate and tell me first if there’s anything you want to eat or have.”
“Yees.”
“…Will you believe me now?”
I said while walking.
“That you can stay by my side even without conditions or reasons.”
“I understand now.”
Lenox answered while hugging my neck tightly.
“I’ll trust Hyungnim.”
I knew it wasn’t as easy as saying it. After all, he was someone who had always been an outsider among people because of his birth, and thus lived a life unwelcome anywhere.
Perhaps he was only suppressing his anxiety for now, and it might rear its head again as time passed.
But it was fine. When that happened, I’d just tell him again. Until he chose to leave the North on his own, that he could stay here all along.
“Wait. Spring has come, which means…”
My busily moving feet stopped abruptly.
“The weather has warmed up…”
The place my gaze turned to was a fox trotting along on the opposite side of the corridor.
