A ghost.
Strangely enough, the moment I recognized that existence, I was certain. That the tiny light I’d just discovered was exactly the one from the rumors.
It wasn’t that I was newly frightened. The reason I was tense was the anticipation that came from being able to uncover the truth of the rumor today at last.
‘Oh yes. You’ve met the right person.’
Now that I’d finally spotted it, I should thoroughly expose its true form for all to see.
I took a step toward the slowly blinking light. Like someone who believed that was the only way to escape from a passage as dark as death.
Carefully so it wouldn’t run away. But hurriedly, since I couldn’t let what I’d finally encountered slip away in vain.
One step, one step, and another step like that.
“…Ah.”
Flustered, I reached out toward empty air. Just when I thought I’d barely narrowed the distance, that light wavered briefly and then disappeared.
Where did it go? Surely the area behind there was the end of a dead-end corridor—could it disappear from there? No, was it even really here in the first place?
I felt confused. Only then did I realize why the people in the castle called the existence in the rumors a ghost. Even though I’d been watching it clearly with my own eyes until just now, seeing it disappear without a trace left me dazed, as if I’d fallen for a ghost’s prank.
As I stood there blankly for several minutes, I heard a familiar voice from behind.
“Hyungnim?”
Lenox, hugging a large blanket in his arms, walked toward me. He was carrying both his favorite one and a small one for covering the fox all at once.
“Did you happen to see the fox? It went out earlier but hasn’t come back. I wanted to go to Hyungnim’s room with the fox…”
I looked back and forth between the back where Lenox’s bedroom was and the front where the ghost had disappeared. The thought occurred to me that if the fox had come out from there and gone straight, it would have passed this way.
‘Was it the fox, not a ghost?’
But I soon reached the conclusion that it couldn’t be. The eye level seemed roughly similar, but wasn’t that the only common point? No matter how much light reflects from a beast’s eyes, it couldn’t be that vivid.
Moreover, considering how the fox usually followed me, it wouldn’t have avoided me like that but would have quickly approached and been held.
More than anything, those eyes.
What I had seen was a completely different color from the fox’s black eyes. Those eyes that people called lanterns, gold, or topaz were definitely more like…
‘Rather, they resembled Blanc.’
Right. Those golden pupils closely resembled Blanc’s. Though there was no way that mysteriously absent fellow had appeared at the castle, that’s what they resembled if I had to find something similar.
“I didn’t see it. It must be playing somewhere by itself.”
“You think so?”
“Yes. So you come this way.”
I wrapped my arm around Lenox’s shoulders and led him toward my bedroom.
Fortunately, Lenox wasn’t yet included among those who claimed to have seen the ghost. I hoped that at least the growing little one could be free from such disturbance for even one more day.
“Are you going to let me sleep with you?”
“Wasn’t that what you were hoping for on your way here?”
“Well, that’s true, but…”
“It’s not like I’ve ever refused. Instead, you have to wake up early tomorrow morning.”
“Yes, Hyungnim!”
“Call me Your Imperial Majesty in front of people.”
“Yees. But what about the fox?”
“That thing will come back on its own if we leave the door a bit open while sleeping.”
“Mmm.”
“Or not. Anyway, the weather’s warmed up and spring is coming soon, so we might as well just let it go like thi—”
“Let’s go, Hyungnim! Let’s hurry! Let’s leave the door open. I want to leave it open two spans!”
“Well… Do as you like with that much.”
“Yes! I’ll do as I like! Thank you!”
I gently stroked the head of the appropriately self-willed and very cute child. The sensation of the hair becoming tousled as my hand moved soaked in quite tenderly.
And that night, I met Blanc.
Even when my vision had just turned white, there wasn’t much hope. It wasn’t the first or second time I’d been disappointed in an empty house.
The ‘Chaos Meter’ I saw last before falling asleep was about 70 percent. After waking up and doing this and that, it would drop a bit more under the charge of having lived diligently. It meant I’d be divining the day’s fortune by whether I’d faint or not.
“This is all because of you, you bastard.”
Thinking of the bleak tomorrow, I ended up grumbling like that, when suddenly a sweet voice unexpectedly replied.
—What’s because of me?
A cool breeze that blew in swirled round in front of me, then soon took human form.
Hair like strands of the whitest thread carefully selected and draped down. Cheeks transparent and smooth as if carved and refined from ice crystals a thousand times. Eyelashes soft and delicate like the first snow crystals. And revealed beneath them, mysteriously shining golden pupils.
It was Blanc.
“You…”
The moment I saw him, I reached out and grabbed Blanc by the collar. I only realized it was a collar after I’d grabbed it.
I had a lot I wanted to say. Of course I’d stayed up all night stewing about it. Yet when I actually stood before him, it somehow became okay. Because there was something more urgent than any words.
I squeezed my eyes shut and brought my lips to his. The moment I felt the soft texture, I pressed down firmly as if stamping a seal.
You wouldn’t know. How much I wanted to do this to you. You could never know how wistful and desperate this kiss was.
The strength in the hand that had grabbed his collar smoothly released. When I slightly opened my mouth and inhaled, soon a cool breath approached and swallowed my lips whole.
Is this what it would feel like to finally get a sip of water after a long thirst?
At the truly long-awaited kiss, my tongue tingled and my vision pleasantly spun. Whenever the soft flesh was pressed and rubbed and then damply mingled, goosebumps lightly rose along my spine.
I was already hanging with my arms wrapped around his neck. When I lifted my heels as much as possible, tilted my head, and greedily rubbed my lips, he gripped my waist tightly and ardently responded while firmly pressing his nose tip against my cheek.
“…Haa.”
Only after fully absorbing the power that came over coolly did I come to my senses.
Only then, thinking I should preserve some dignity, I tried to escape from his embrace, but he just added more strength to the arm around my waist while grinning broadly.
“A reunion kiss right after meeting. How romantic.”
“…It was just recharging.”
Right. This was simple recharging. It was a tearful struggle for a safe tomorrow without nosebleeds and headaches, chills and dizziness.
“I’m fine with it being hotter though.”
He’s not listening at all.
“As expected, rather than lips, below—Mmph.”
“Crazy talk!”
Even though I abruptly covered his mouth, far from avoiding it, he narrowed his eyes into a smile. His smile looked so pretty it even seemed bewitching.
“You gave me a name, didn’t you?”
He said with his lips against my palm. My fingertips trembled at the sensation transmitted along the lines of my palm.
“You personally gave me a name while thinking only of me.”
“You know so well despite not having answered.”
“Even though I couldn’t speak, I know everything. All your traces are recorded within me.”
His eyes, which had drawn close, were sparkling brightly enough to be burdensome.
“You called me.”
“…”
“You gave me that name that only you know…”
“…Yes, ahem. What could I do when you were singing for me to give you one? I had to give you one.”
“Kind person.”
Blanc’s voice was sweetly soaked with joy.
“Tell me directly.”
“…”
“Tell me directly the name you chose.”
Having gone so far as to give it, it would be strange to decline now. Eventually, I said while slightly lowering my eyes.
“Blanc.”
“…”
“Blanc. That’s your name.”
After a long while, our eyes met again. Looking over Blanc’s appearance from various angles, I realized his appearance was a bit different from before.
He was still white and beautiful, but he’d become oddly vivid. Should I say it felt like there was vitality somewhere? That is, he felt exactly like someone who existed somewhere in the world.
“Blanc. You said you had no choice but to like me, but…”
Will these words sound cruel to you? Probably so. But I had to say it. Even if it disappoints you and makes me regret it.
Still.
“…I won’t like you.”
