Saehyeon’s body flinched as he rolled his eyes. Even when he turned his gaze back after briefly looking away, the man in that spot didn’t disappear.
So, what was in front of him right now… was the real Gil Taeseo.
Realizing this and looking again, he could see things he hadn’t noticed before. The hair that had fallen over, slick as if covered in wax from sweat, and the heat radiating from that large body. To borrow the man’s usual vocabulary, he looked like he’d worked himself to death in this summer heat.
He’d thought no one knew he was here, and that no one would come looking for him. But perhaps that wasn’t the case after all.
He clearly seemed to hear the words, but gave no answer, only blinking. The face of the man watching Saehyeon like that crumpled fiercely.
“Can’t you hear me? Should I poke through your earhole to open it up…?”
His voice had become even more menacing and serious than before. The atmosphere was such that he couldn’t bear not answering urgently. Saehyeon hastily opened his mouth as if pushed.
“I, I can hear you. I can hear you.”
“Then answer. I asked why you’re sprawled out here like this.”
But even if he answered, there wasn’t really a solution. What was he supposed to say about this?
“That’s…”
Uh, you know that guy you told me not to meet? My step… no, my half-brother. I got hit with three shocking stories in a row from him and sank. Haha.
The shock was so big I ran away in the middle of the night. I wandered around and got lost, but I don’t have my phone… there was no way he could ramble on with such a long story. It was embarrassing, and it was also uncertain how much Gil Taeseo knew.
“I just came out for a walk… and got lost.”
Saehyeon ultimately had no choice but to pick up and swallow a clumsy excuse.
“So you were lying here sprawled out like this? Are you calling that babbling something you can say right now?”
“I didn’t have my phone so I couldn’t help it, even I…”
Grumbling, Saehyeon tactfully tried to get up from his spot. Of course, it wasn’t easy. The arms and legs he pressed against the ground just kept bending and repeatedly flopping back down to the ground. On top of the relentless sex, his sickly body had completely gone on strike while walking, running, and falling quite strenuously.
“Uh… why is this happening?”
The man could only watch that foolish state without readily spitting out words. His words stuck in his throat at the sight of Lee Saehyeon sprawled between the pitch-black asphalt and dirt ground. Wasn’t he lying there with a pallid, shocked face, drenched in sweat, looking devastated? The flush that had risen to his cheeks was also eerily vivid. If things went wrong, it was obvious he’d suffer from heatstroke or something.
“Ha… Let’s go and talk first.”
In the end, Gil Taeseo forcibly swallowed down the boiling words. The hand that stretched out easily pulled up Saehyeon’s body.
A large hand, a solid arm, a hot embrace firmly wrapped around and held the body that had grown cold and was swaying. Getting close, the heat radiating from the man reached him even more clearly. The body that was already hot had heated up almost like a furnace while wandering through the summer night.
As he leaned against that body, a faint sense of relief raised its head amidst the slight embarrassment. His chest stirred. Saehyeon secretly glanced at his own chest. Beneath the T-shirt that had gotten thoroughly dirty while rolling around several times and rubbing against the ground again, something was making its small assertion.
Savoring that sensation, Saehyeon slowly walked forward leaning on Gil Taeseo. As he did so, this thought suddenly occurred to him.
Had his past self had a similar experience? Had he held Gil Taeseo’s hand when he said ‘let’s go back’ at a time when he didn’t know where to go?
If so, he felt like he could forgive, just a little, the traces of that strange emotion that had been flowing between the puzzle pieces.
***
When the familiar iron gate came into view, Saehyeon let out a small sigh. He wanted to quickly wash off the sweat he’d profusely shed while coming here, and escape this situation of being pressed close and interrogated like this.
But that would require more time than expected.
“Ah, Daddyyyyy…!”
For some reason, from inside the door that Gil Taeseo had opened with the key he had, a sobbing child burst out and clung to him.
“Uh… huh? Why, why are you awake…”
Saehyeon stammered in confusion. The child should definitely be asleep at this hour. But not only was he awake, he never dreamed he’d be bawling like this.
The man skillfully pushed the two who’d become one lump inside the house. Saehyeon sat down in the entryway as if he’d been waiting. The child clung even more tightly to the body that had found stability wedged between the wall and floor. Gil Taeseo, who’d been watching that scene with his arms folded, answered on the child’s behalf.
“He called me.”
Gil Taeseo had naturally assigned people to Lee Saehyeon. From the day they reunited until now, surveillance hadn’t been skipped even a single day. The number itself wasn’t large because he’d been choosing trustworthy people who wouldn’t be noticeable. Gil Taeseo wasn’t someone who would just let a human who’d stagger from just a push of a finger wander around without any measures.
So Lee Saehyeon’s runaway commotion was something he would learn about sooner or later. It had just become a bit faster and more urgent with the appearance of a special person.
“He called?”
When daddy, whose condition had been really bad, couldn’t sleep and then frantically rushed out of the house. The child, who hadn’t been able to fall asleep either, was startled and bolted upright. But the small, white feet couldn’t easily cross the house threshold. Because he remembered being told not to leave the house alone without an adult’s permission.
‘I have to… keep my promise.’
The child’s eyes instantly welled up. He wanted to follow daddy but couldn’t, and yet staying still made him too anxious and scared.
In the end, the child fumbling at the bedding picked up the phone daddy had left behind. And among the few call records, he found and pressed a familiar name.
[…What.]
‘Ah, ajusshiiii….’
This ajusshi had saved daddy last time too. And hadn’t he also taken Taesol himself along? So Taesol believed in that ajusshi this time too. That he would bring daddy back.
“Daddy… don’t go.”
With his face buried in the sticky, warm nape, the child whispered in a voice that trembled like a willow branch before the wind.
“I… even if you don’t recognize me, and my name… you don’t have to call it either.”
Even if daddy suddenly didn’t recognize him one day, even if he didn’t call his name. Taesol was okay with it.
“So, so… just don’t go. Stay together…”
Because daddy had stayed by his side. And, daddy had definitely promised him, hooking fingers together.
That daddy would always return to his side, wherever he went.
So Taesol waited obediently. Continuously. For the day when daddy would recognize him and call his name.
The child clinging to him while speaking incoherently showed none of his previous composed and bright appearance. It was like the day when Saehyeon himself had woken up in his 28-year-old body.
Back then, this crying had only been awkward. But now something was a bit different. His chest hurt as if stabbed, and his eyes stung wildly. Saehyeon firmly tightened his arms wrapped around the child’s body.
“…Ah.”
Honestly, Saehyeon had only accepted the child as just ‘a child.’ The child was an existence who had suddenly appeared with a pop one day before Saehyeon, who still had the ego of a 20-year-old, without the process of pregnancy, childbirth, and child-rearing.
When even his own sickly body felt alien, there was no way he could easily accept another living being with its own ego moving around. With his mind and reason, he clearly recognized him as someone he had to take responsibility for and care for, but that was all.
But even so, Taesol had always been by Saehyeon’s side. Whether conscious of it or not, pattering along, diligently following behind to the best of his ability.
Only then did Saehyeon realize that he had only been calling the child ‘child.’
“…Sol-ah.”
Here, alive and brimming with vitality like this, looking at him and relying on him. Even though he was relying on me, seeking me out, and holding onto me. Saehyeon hadn’t properly looked at the child. Couldn’t look at him. Because he was only preoccupied with his own situation and wounds.
His shoulder grew warmly wet. That sensation reminded him of someone’s body temperature that had clung to his back earlier. Saehyeon unconsciously turned his gaze. Gil Taeseo standing in the doorway was caught in his vision. Whether he had also been looking this way, their eyes met quickly.
“Lee Taesol.”
It was the same for that man crouching over there. Because he was someone who would come find him and stubbornly hold on no matter where or in what state he was.
It was a scene that felt somewhat familiar. A small, shabby one-room, people being the child and the two adults who were his biological parents. His appearance was much more miserable than back then. Because he’d rolled on the ground, been soaked in sweat, and was covered in tears and snot. But even excluding such external factors, something had changed. There was a part that was changing.
Even if he couldn’t pinpoint it clearly, at least in that moment. Saehyeon felt that way.
‘…He’s been staring intently from earlier. Is this really okay…?’
The aftermath he’d soon have to face was bone-chillingly terrifying. But Saehyeon decided to savor this current moment for now. Because it might be the last peace of his life.
