I Love You, So Let’s Get a Divorce 5.2

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As Yoo Seonjae’s face approached, he took my lips just like that. I wanted to avoid him, but my strength drained from his pheromones and I had no choice but to receive his lips while lying there.

A soft tongue rummaged into my mouth and licked here and there. Every time his tongue moved, I unconsciously stuck out my tongue to follow his movements. His tongue intertwined with mine. The moment I heard the wet sound of sucking wet flesh, I felt myself getting wet below.

“Ah, Yeoul. It’s been a while, our Yeoul’s pheromones.”

Yoo Seonjae muttered with his face buried in my nape. Every time he breathed, the hot breath touching my nape kept making my body shrink.

I’m going crazy. I know in my head this shouldn’t happen, but I keep reacting to his breath, his touch. I don’t know if this is because of pheromones or because of feelings for him that I don’t remember, but what’s certain is that I want to have sex with him right now.

“Haah, hah—”

Yoo Seonjae raised his head and looked down at me as I exhaled shallow breaths. The lust overflowing in his eyes swept over my body. It felt like I was naked. Even though I was in pajamas.

“Yeoul.”

Yoo Seonjae called my name. Just calling my name in a calm voice, yet somehow it felt like his voice was getting wet. He looked at me like that for a while, then raised his body.

I thought he would hold me.

Even though I’d said I didn’t remember, asked if we weren’t divorced, somewhere in my heart I must have been thinking I wanted him to do something to me.

But Yoo Seonjae left the room without doing anything.

I was flustered.

…He’s just leaving like this?

It was absurd.

Me, having these thoughts while looking at him.

Really funny, Han Yeoul.

Getting excited and expecting on my own from someone I don’t even know properly, then disappointed because he didn’t fuck me. I’m even confined right now.

If we really broke up and even submitted divorce papers, we’re strangers. That person is a shameless bastard who locked a stranger in a room by releasing pheromones because he wanted them.

I was going to spread my legs for someone like that without a care? Really ridiculous. Is Han Yeoul… a person without self-control?

I felt self-loathing toward myself whom I didn’t even know well.

“So frustrating, really.”

The me I don’t know, the Yoo Seonjae I equally don’t know—they’re so frustrating I could go crazy. I want to know, but I don’t even know how to find out.

I lay blankly on the bed staring at the ceiling. That ceiling I must have seen and lain under hundreds of times was much higher and cleaner than the room I’d been living in. Why did I, who used to live looking at this ceiling every day, leave Yoo Seonjae to end up living in such an old, shabby place? What on earth happened between us?

There’s a limit to hearing through others’ words. I was lucky to meet a schoolmate by chance, but luck is just luck, and I can’t live my life relying on luck, so I had to know myself on my own.

I slowly raised my body. I got off the bed and headed to the bathroom. It was because I was wet below. My underwear was too damp to just leave it like this.

Thinking I should shower while I’m up, when I headed to the bathroom, after not even a few steps, I gushed out liquid again.

“Haah…”

The Yoo Seonjae’s pheromones still remaining in the room’s air kept stimulating me.

During that short time going to the bathroom, I kept trembling and dripping.

“Haa, this is… driving me crazy.”

My soaking wet lower half wouldn’t come off easily. It was already hard to undress with my belly swollen.

I finally undressed and entered the bathroom, filling the bathtub with hot water while showering. It didn’t seem like I’d fall back asleep anyway, so I thought it would be better to at least take a bath.

While receiving hot water under the showerhead until the tub filled, I thought. Why did he release pheromones like that and then just leave?

Even while soaking my body in the bathtub filled with hot water, those thoughts were all I had. Why? Why on earth?

Because I’m pregnant? Or because I don’t remember him?

I don’t know, but at this level, he must have been pretty heated too. Do dominant alphas have extraordinary patience too?

[Seonjae, but why don’t you do knotting?]

At the words that suddenly came to mind, I trembled without realizing it. It was my voice. A trembling voice full of sorrow.

You don’t… do knotting?

We were married, but didn’t have proper relations? But that can’t be right, I’m… pregnant.

I really don’t understand anything. I want to ask, but I keep feeling like I shouldn’t ask, so I can’t ask Yoo Seonjae anything.

My head is complicated. It’s a head that’s completely empty with nothing known, yet why do I have so many thoughts?

Trying to empty my mind while lying in the bathtub, I dozed off again. Thinking the bathtub is too wide…

“Are you coming to?”

When I opened my eyes, Yoo Seonjae was looking at me with a completely tense face. Why does he look like that?

I tried to raise my body, and he quickly moved to embrace my shoulders and help me sit up. Even while doing so, his body trembles. Yoo Seonjae is trembling.

“What’s wrong? Hm? Is something wrong?”

At my question, Yoo Seonjae bit his lips tightly.

“You…”

Me? What about me?

I was just bathing, and yes, it was definitely the bathroom, but when did I come to bed and fall asleep?

“I didn’t know being with me was that hard for you.”

What does that mean? I am… confined, but there’s nothing particularly uncomfortable. Rather, I’m living more comfortably than before, and I even wonder if this can be described as confinement—why would I find it hard?

“What do you mean by that?”

“Yeoul.”

Yoo Seonjae’s eyes wavered. Why is he like that? Flustered, as I looked into his eyes, Yoo Seonjae suddenly pulled me into his arms.

“Huk, Yeoul.”

…Crying? Why?

I’m going crazy.

I squirmed to escape from his embrace, but he had no intention of letting me go and hugged me tightly while sobbing. My shoulder got wet. What on earth happened that he’s wailing like this, a full-grown adult?

“What’s wrong, Seonjae?”

At my words, Yoo Seonjae’s crying grew louder. No, so why? Why on earth?!

Only after a long while did Yoo Seonjae release his embrace. Roughly wiping his soaked face with his arm, Yoo Seonjae sat facing me.

His eyes seemed to redden again, then he opened his wavering eyes wide and looked at the ceiling.

…He’s much more emotional than I thought, Yoo Seonjae. When he forcibly dragged me here, I thought he was a steel-hearted iron man.

Having calmed down somewhat, Yoo Seonjae, who had been looking at me again, spoke heavily.

“Even if you hate being with me so much that you harm yourself.”

Huh? I harm myself? …Why?

“I can’t let you go, Yeoul.”

I can’t follow the context of his words.

“Um, Seonjae?”

“Don’t call me that! Please!”

Yoo Seonjae’s eyes became moist again.

“It’s not Seonjae. You can just say Seonjae.”

So what, he’s crying like that because I called him ‘Seonjae’? Why is that kind of address so important?

“Okay. Seonjae.”

“Stop using honorifics too.”

“……”

That doesn’t seem to be what’s important right now.

“Okay, Seonjae.”

As soon as the words fell, tears dropped again from Yoo Seonjae’s eyes. No, if he’s going to cry like this every time I speak, how am I supposed to talk?

I think I heard that Yoo Seonjae was quite cold and ruthless, but Kim Yeonghyo must have misjudged him. He doesn’t seem like that kind of person.

“First of all, what do you mean I’m harming myself?”

“…You tried to drown yourself in the bathtub.”

…What? What does that mean?

I was too flustered to find words to respond.

“Do you know how I felt seeing you submerged in the bathtub?”

“In the bathtub…”

I was submerged? Did I fall asleep and slip under?

“If I hadn’t discovered you and pulled you out, you wouldn’t be here right now.”

Right. I’m grateful for that.

So, seeing me like that, he misunderstood that I was trying to drown myself? I’m too flustered to speak. What should I say?

“Yeoul.”