But I couldn’t bring myself to tell Yoo Seonjae that story.
To do that, I’d have to explain why I went out at that time right after Yoo Seonjae left, and that’s difficult. I went out today with impure intentions.
“That’s why you keep getting dizzy from not eating. You’re already skinny as it is and I’m worried about your low blood pressure, but even when I’m not taking care of you, you have to eat when you’re hungry, Yeoul.”
“…”
“At the company at least there’s lunch time so I don’t worry, but somehow I’m more worried when you’re at home.”
Yoo Seonjae buried his face in my chest and let out a deep sigh. Feeling guilty for no reason, I just quietly fiddled with Yoo Seonjae’s hair.
“I made a lot of things you like, so let’s go eat quickly.”
What?
…I’m still full though?
“Hurry.”
Yoo Seonjae extended his hand and smiled brightly.
Ah, I can’t refuse to eat when he’s like this. I secretly sighed without him knowing and got up.
“Seonjae… what is all this?”
Standing in front of the dining table, I asked in a daze, and Yoo Seonjae pulled out a chair for me to sit and smiled brightly.
“No, I felt really bad about leaving you alone and going out this morning. Sure enough, when I came home you were like that… I felt like I could only relax if I fed you something, so I kept making this and that and it ended up like this.”
“It looks like a birthday table.”
The dining table was packed with plates filled only with things I liked. Thinking of Yoo Seonjae who must have made all of this while I was sleeping, feigning illness, something hot suddenly welled up inside me and my eyes reddened without me realizing it.
“You…”
“Honey, Yeoul, why are you crying?”
Exactly. Why am I crying? This isn’t something to cry about, but I don’t know why tears are coming. What’s wrong with me all day today?
“No, you…”
“I… why?”
“You’re just too good to me.”
The fact that I’m bawling my eyes out saying the best I can manage is that you’re too good to me so I’m crying—it’s truly maddening. I don’t even understand myself, so how much more confused must Yoo Seonjae be?
Even though I could clearly see him flustered and not knowing what to do, I couldn’t easily stop my tears. I don’t know why I’m doing this either, so I don’t know what I should do, so how do I stop crying?
“Yeoul, don’t cry. Don’t cry, you’ll get a fever.”
Yoo Seonjae touched my forehead to check if I had a fever, then wiped my tears with his two large hands while caressing my face. I wanted to stop crying quickly, but Yoo Seonjae’s touch comforting me was so gentle that I ended up crying like that for a long time.
“…I’m sorry, honey.”
“…”
With my eyes and nose all red, sniffling and apologizing, Yoo Seonjae said nothing. For a long time, with only the sound of my sniffling filling the space, Yoo Seonjae took the mushroom soup bowl in front of me, poured it into a pot, and reheated it.
“The food got cold. You cried so you must be even hungrier. Still, you should eat it warm. Wait just a moment.”
He could just heat it in the microwave. What’s he bothering to boil it in a pot for… I feel bad.
“Did something happen?”
Without turning around, Yoo Seonjae asked while stirring the soup he was heating so it wouldn’t stick. Looking at his back, I recalled Professor Yeonwoo’s words once more.
Do people’s thoughts really change from time to time?
Even things they consider important enough to write in a contract?
“No. Nothing happened.”
Even to my own ears, my voice carried zero credibility as I forced myself to smile and answer. I opened my eyes wide on purpose because I felt like tears would well up again.
Yoo Seonjae transferred the heated soup to a bowl, placed it in front of me, and sat across from me. His face was full of concern. Feeling sorry for making him worry by crying for no reason, I put my full stomach aside and took a spoonful of soup.
Ugh, why does it taste like this…?
I unconsciously frowned and put down my spoon. Even if my stomach was full, I could always eat the mushroom soup Yoo Seonjae made… Plus it’s my favorite food, so why is it so nauseating?
“Yeoul?”
“Sorry… honey. My stomach feels a bit-“
I quickly ran to the bathroom. Seeing Yoo Seonjae following, even in this situation I closed the bathroom door so he couldn’t enter. It was because I didn’t want to show him me vomiting, even if it was Yoo Seonjae.
“Urgh-“
While I was throwing up everything I’d eaten in the morning, Yoo Seonjae desperately called my name from outside. I wanted to answer that I was okay, but I could only keep retching.
As expected.
My stomach getting bigger. It was strange from the start that I ate that much in the morning.
I must have indigestion. I ate food I don’t usually eat, saying it was delicious and scarfing it down, and it’s clear I got indigestion from lying down before it even digested.
Ah… If I’d known this would happen, I shouldn’t have taken vacation today.
If I’d gone to the company as usual and spent an ordinary day, this ridiculous thing wouldn’t have happened. Needlessly buying a pregnancy tester and getting uncomfortable…
After retching like that for a while, when I came out of the bathroom, Yoo Seonjae was restless, looking at my face.
“Yeoul, let’s go to the hospital. We need to go to the hospital, okay?”
He was ready to pick me up and run to Yeongjae hyung right away. But no. Not today.
I shook my head, thinking of the pregnancy tester hidden under the mattress.
“I think the bread I ate earlier was bad. I think I have indigestion. I threw it all up so I’m okay now.”
“Bread?”
“Ah, yeah. I had leftover bread from lunch at work the day before yesterday in my bag, and I was lazy so I ate that.”
I made up something vague. Yoo Seonjae looked at me and sighed as if it was absurd.
“Yeoul. How can you eat something you didn’t even put in the refrigerator? We have lots of bread at home, you bought so much.”
“Ah…”
Right. I smiled awkwardly, recalling the salt bread and croissants filling the freezer.
“If you get food poisoning or something, you’re the only one who suffers. You have to be careful.”
Yoo Seonjae slowly released his pheromones. Maybe because I was drained from vomiting, when I felt Yoo Seonjae’s pheromones, my languid body became much more comfortable.
“Today you definitely shouldn’t eat anything, so let’s at least take some medicine.”
Yoo Seonjae laid out digestive medicine, anti-diarrheal medicine and such from the medicine cabinet, then turned on his phone and started searching for various things. He’s probably searching for medicine that’s good to take when you have signs of food poisoning. He could just call Yeongjae hyung and ask, why bother like that…
Well.
Because things are awkward with Yeongjae hyung.
“Yeoul, take this for now and wait a bit. We don’t have it in the first aid kit. They say you shouldn’t take anti-diarrheal medicine carelessly, so I’ll just go to the pharmacy. Or should we go to the hospital right now? Hyung should be on duty today.”
“No. I’m fine. I’ll lie down for a bit.”
“Okay, I understand. I’ll be right back.”
Yoo Seonjae put on his cardigan and quickly rushed out the front door. Feeling sorry for no reason, I stared at the closed door for a while, then got up and took out the pregnancy tester I’d hidden under the mattress.
Clear… two lines.
I first wrapped the tester in a handkerchief and put it in my bag. Just in case Yoo Seonjae sees it.
Right. As soon as I get to work tomorrow, I’ll buy another tester and try it one more time. Test results differ with each tester. First I’ll try several, no, before that, should I ask Professor Yeonwoo first?
Maybe Professor Yeonwoo forgot and didn’t tell me about the pregnancy? Or maybe something wasn’t visible clearly during yesterday’s examination? Maybe the test results come out late so he hasn’t told me yet?
All sorts of thoughts came to me, but for now, I decided to put everything off until tomorrow.
Worrying about it now won’t change anything… and right now I needed to calm my churning stomach first. That’s why food I don’t usually eat went down well.
No, wait a minute.
Could this be… morning sickness?
Suddenly my fingertips went cold. The pregnancy tester showed clear two lines, I wanted to eat food I don’t usually eat, and I forced it all down. I threw it all up in the end though. Plus the smell of my favorite food was nauseating.
