The Perfect Couple (1)
Who could possibly win against someone determined to drag something out of you?
The reason Yoo Seonjae doesn’t knot me.
Because I might get hurt?
No, that’s not it. It’s because he’s afraid of hurting me.
Right? We’re not one or two-year-old children anymore. At an age where we know everything there is to know, even though we’ve only had each other our whole lives, I know full well when an alpha feels the greatest pleasure.
That’s why I did it.
Why I deliberately dragged it out of Yoo Seonjae, who hadn’t knotted me even after nearly three years of marriage.
At first, I thought he’d knot me once some time had passed.
I’d overheard bits of what Professor Yeonwoo had said to Yoo Seonjae. And what Yoo Seonjae had said too. I knew he didn’t want children. Then shouldn’t he be knotting me without worry all the more? Since I won’t get pregnant from knotting anyway.
But that was his reason. “Why bother with something that will only cause pain without producing any results.”
The excuse that he’s worried I’ll be in pain—that’s just a cover. Really… it’s him looking down on me.
Actually, after hearing Professor Yeonwoo’s words during my regular checkup, I’d secretly hoped. Since the professor had conveyed the omega’s position—my position—on my behalf, wouldn’t Yoo Seonjae change? Wouldn’t he knot me…?
Truth is, three years ago on that day, I had hoped.
When he took me from the company and we spent a full week at the hotel, day and night, holding each other endlessly, Yoo Seonjae didn’t knot me even once.
Ah…
This really is just my futile hope. He really, truly doesn’t want it. It’s not just that he dislikes children—he doesn’t want it so much that he won’t even acknowledge a 1% probability.
When we got married, while adding contract clauses to the marriage vows, Yoo Seonjae included a provision that this marriage would be void if either party wanted a child. He said the contract wasn’t for any other reason but because “he couldn’t trust himself.” I thought that’s how much Yoo Seonjae loved me.
But in other words, that meant he was certain that I, Han Yeoul, would absolutely never get pregnant. Since it was certain I wouldn’t have a child, it was his own way of pledging not to abandon me for that reason—I came to realize this very, very slowly.
What if I beat the less-than-1-percent odds and got pregnant?
What if I wanted a child?
For him, there was no “what if.” In all his assumptions, the hypothesis “Han Yeoul gets pregnant” never existed from the start. That’s why even the pretext couldn’t be created. So, as he said, “knotting that only brings Han Yeoul pain” was unnecessary.
The emptiness I felt when I realized that…
As much as I loved Yoo Seonjae, it felt like a gaping hole had been torn in my heart. The fact that the person I’d given my heart to and loved with all my strength had been viewing me that way felt miserable. That’s why I needed knotting.
Not to have a child.
I wanted to love him from an equal position with Yoo Seonjae—not just receiving, but being able to give too.
I know he’s always been the one protecting me. Thanks to that, until I left the sanctuary of school, I thought the world was a place filled only with goodness.
When I opened the eyes he’d been covering and faced the world head-on, I resented Yoo Seonjae. It wasn’t the kind of emotion where I disliked or liked him. My heart just ached. Yoo Seonjae’s good intentions in experiencing everything I should have seen and gone through on my behalf felt like malice to me.
You only learn there are stones, sand, and mud on the ground when you roll around on it, but Yoo Seonjae had robbed me of the opportunity to know those things.
“Seonjae.”
“Mm?”
“How long will we be together?”
“Of course until we die.”
Really?
Then what if one of us dies first? If you die first? Then I’ll become an idiot who can’t do anything and have to live in this world alone and dazed?
My heart was in turmoil.
I resented Yoo Seonjae for growing into an adult alone. I felt bitter toward Yoo Seonjae for leaving me as a child and growing up all by himself.
Even that resentment would disappear and vanish with just a few sweet words from Yoo Seonjae, a few warm touches—it was that trivial—but I couldn’t help the tiny seed of doubt that began to lurk beneath my complete trust in him.
Was that why?
At some point, I started thinking of Plan B for whatever I did. When Yoo Seonjae interfered with my planned activities as a “client” and created variables, what should I do?
Though Yoo Seonjae was involved in my work under the guise of being a “client,” he couldn’t know what was in my head.
An unexpected business trip. I was tired from the long flight, and Yoo Seonjae, who’d been waiting for me, also hadn’t adjusted to the time difference. Thanks to him clearing everything away beforehand, there was nothing to do. I didn’t feel like taking suppressants either.
Yoo Seonjae had been invited as a special guest to the press preview event and special forum held on the opening day of the “Salone del Mobile,” which ran for several days. This meant his work had all been finished before I even arrived.
So it was perfect. There was no better day than this to drag it out of him.
He probably thought as usual, right? Ah, if I adjust Han Yeoul’s schedule on my own again, Han Yeoul will follow along without a word. Because Artist Yoo Seonjae is the superior party to Patent Attorney Han Yeoul.
Right. So I followed along as usual. But you should have realized this, Yoo Seonjae. Patent Attorney Han Yeoul of Law Firm Seorim is the subordinate party, but just plain Han Yeoul is the superior party. You wrote it in the contract every time, didn’t you? “Superior Party Han Yeoul.”
So, just think of this as me abusing my superior position.
It wasn’t that something was wrong with my body from the airport. I’d made it so something would be wrong by now. What I’d swallowed when I threw my suppressants in the trash was a heat inducer. Deliberately the slow-acting kind. Those pills I’d tossed in my mouth after roughly calculating the time were my timid revenge.
I’ve realized a few things while working in society. The world is give and take. There’s no one who only gives unconditionally. Even Yoo Seonjae, who only seemed to give me everything, had taken “me” from me.
Another thing is that people only see the sides they want to see. That applied to me as well. I’d only been seeing the sides of Yoo Seonjae I wanted to see all this time.
Yoo Seonjae who listens to everything I say unconditionally, Yoo Seonjae who lets me do anything I want to do, Yoo Seonjae who protects me most safely in the world.
Interestingly, while he could do anything for me, he also couldn’t do anything.
Yoo Seonjae does. He’ll do anything if it’s for Han Yeoul. And he can’t do anything. Nothing that would harm Han Yeoul.
Most of what he’d been doing was done arbitrarily under the pretext of “protecting me,” but I wasn’t upset with him for that. Rather, I was grateful. Because I didn’t want to leave his comfortable embrace either.
I’d never even thought about other alphas in the first place. Just as Yoo Seonjae’s life was Han Yeoul, from the day I met Yoo Seonjae, Han Yeoul’s life was just Yoo Seonjae. So I couldn’t understand why Yoo Seonjae was so anxious.
Of course, I could be in danger. Trait-holders ultimately have no choice but to succumb to pheromones, and omegas—especially recessive omegas—were people at the very bottom of the trait-holder pyramid.
But there’s something Yoo Seonjae overlooked.
The fact that I’m not alone. Around me, there’s my reliable father, and my father’s wealth that has supported me. And the people who follow that, and those who follow my father’s character.
Of course, compared to Yoo Seonjae, those things might be quite trivial and insignificant, but I had that much power at least.
But Yoo Seonjae didn’t see anything around me. All he saw was only “Han Yeoul.”
Should I… be grateful for that?
While I’m grateful for his devotion to me, I never wanted it. And if “knotting” is also included in that devotion, I decline even more.
That’s why I activated Plan B.
“Honey…, knot me.”
It was the first time I’d said it out loud so directly. And like this, heated to the max, with full intention.
I’d begged in pleasure-drunk moans before, but I’d never said “knot me” to him like this while my mind was still clear.
